FabSwingers.com forum: Gender bias...

By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm curious.

Often I see comments on threads about the difference in replies when it's a woman who's posted rather than a man and I can't help wondering about it.

I don't respond any differently to a man or to a woman. I read the question posed and respond accordingly but often there are remarks along the lines of 'if a man asked that question, the response would be completely different'. I really do try not to judge if people are playing away from home or if someone is moaning about something but I don't tailor my response depending on the gender of the OP, I tend to just answer the question based on the information given.

I can't help wondering if it's simply because things are worded differently by men and women or if we really are more sympathetic towards women than men and I'm curious as to what everyone else thinks.

Does it depend on who posts or do you just read the question and answer accordingly?

Please play nice... I don't want to start a gender war... I really am just curious.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women"

Why do you think that is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is? "

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness".

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is?

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness"."

I'm not convinced that ever works anyway.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Personally I find when I post I get acknowledgement from men and ignored by ladies .

I respond the same way no matter who posted it .It depends on the subject matter of the post . R

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is?

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness".

I'm not convinced that ever works anyway. "

It doesn't I find it cringe worthy, I also think it depends on who is posting the question and the responses you can usually tell who wants to shag who by the way they respond...I have been guilty of it but try and not do it so much as I do often think did I really just say that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to think that people were being childish when they said "if a man posted this..." But after being on the forums for a few months now, I think I was just being naive.

Men get a much harsher and more blunt response on here. They are talked down to more and they are more likely to get flatly rude statements.

The question of why is more interesting to me. I think it is a combination of the following:

1- there are more men than women here so being rude to women is counterproductive whereas being rude to men can work in ones favor.

2- men tend to phrase posts in ways the invite negative comments. Those that don't do this generally get better responses all around.

3- I think people are used to being careful when talking to women in real life, and it carries over here.

4- I think women are more understanding with other women where they wouldn't be with men, and that can change the tone of a thread.

I am observant, so I find this all interesting. I also find it a bit sad. But I like to respond the same no matter what. That's all I can really so about it.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It also depends on profile pics, especially the avatar.

Man with a six pack pic... some women drool and treat him nicely.

Man without a hot pic... some women treat him like a dog.

Woman with no pics... some men ignore her.

Woman with tits or naked profile pic... white knights ahoy!!!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

I always say 'man up, wimpy!

' even though I've never been to one. It's an opportunity for another tick on my hypocrite chart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is? "

Women feeling bitterness towards men. Their comments towards men come across as spiteful,condescending and patronising sometimes. It makes me think they don't like men unless they are doling out compliments to the woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

Made me giggle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is?

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness".

I'm not convinced that ever works anyway. "

It doesn't, which makes it all the more amusing when I see it!

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Men can be pretty fucking dim, btf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably, unintentionally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

More or less spot on

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It really is fascinating and I wonder if it's just because my mojo has buggered off and I'm not thinking about sex all the time. I just read a question, decide whether I have anything worth saying out loud and either type it or don't.

People are fascinating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just part and parcel of the fab forum .

We are known for not being mainstream in any way , and don't give a monkeys on the gender of the poster .

It is truly cringeworthy seeing the white Knights and couples who say the nicest things to women on here , yet slate the guys .

But it won't change , so as you were

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me i won't reply to anyone, of any gender, who needs help but is coming across as a selfish git who will likely cause damage to another person if helped, from my own _iewpoint of what damage is.

I do think men are seen as an inconvenience on here at times, probably down to the shit men we women often moan about. I can understand this.

But sometimes i've seen guys being nice and they get slagged off for that, called white knights, just for being nice or spreading a decent opinion. I can't understand this. We should be encouraging guys to be nice, and women i guess, coz there's way too much disrespect to women for being sexual or on a site like this and we're cunts to them we just make those types of people hate us more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

Perfect example of the difference in responses.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Gender doesn't matter to me if I have an opinion on something. I post the same way regardless since I don't use the forums as a way of finding a fuck. I've made a few jokey throwaway comments over the months I've been on here and had the occasional white knight response from men, women and couples and those just make me stop participating in that particular thread since I don't want to encourage it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, my opinions are the same whoever I am responding to, I am not a hypocrite and don't believe in double standards. And I'm certainly not a sycophant nor am I worried if my opinions offend people.

There are posters who on occassion contradict themselves even on the same thread and to be blunt the pathetic desperation of it makes me laugh

The posters I like and respect are the ones that post in my style. I don;t ned to agree with them buy I integrity and consistency are never a bad thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm curious.

Often I see comments on threads about the difference in replies when it's a woman who's posted rather than a man and I can't help wondering about it.

Does it depend on who posts or do you just read the question and answer accordingly?

Please play nice... I don't want to start a gender war... I really am just curious.

I answer accordingly... But often think and say "if a women posted this" it would be different.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yeah I caught myself doing it yesterday and I think that's what made me think about it. I've seen a few comments and I know that tone or expression doesn't always come across well in text format but sometimes I feel we may be too quick to judge a post without considering the intent.

I generally try to think about how things *could* be read before I post but I suspect that's years of forum waffle that's taught me that. If I have a question to ask then I just come out with it and never really worry too much about people being offended. I don't think I'm terribly offensive and always try to be kind. Sometimes I can't help some sarcasm popping out but I'm rarely mean and I find myself sticking up for people if they're being picked on. I just don't consider their gender before I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I caught myself doing it yesterday and I think that's what made me think about it. I've seen a few comments and I know that tone or expression doesn't always come across well in text format but sometimes I feel we may be too quick to judge a post without considering the intent.

I agree.

I posted back along and some thought I was being racist/predjudiced, which I wasn't at all and said I didn't mean to offend anyone. Sometimes I struggle with the wording of my posts. People did stick up for me, you included. So Thankyou

Iv often stuck up for others too.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

It depends on who posts ( regular or new ) what gender they are and how the second post is worded.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"It depends on who posts ( regular or new ) what gender they are and how the second post is worded."

Yeah I definitely think the first few responses on a thread are pretty crucial to the tone of what follows. It's a shame, sometimes I don't read the rest of the thread until I've answered the question just for that reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid the most vicious and unwarranted nastiness I've experienced on this site has come from other women.

The insults of men are as nothing compared to the calculated claws of females.

I adore ladies. But by God I fear their wrath and derision...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm afraid the most vicious and unwarranted nastiness I've experienced on this site has come from other women.

The insults of men are as nothing compared to the calculated claws of females.

I adore ladies. But by God I fear their wrath and derision..."

Women suck sometimes, don't they? And not just on fab, either.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Yup... I don't understand that whole thing either. Us girlies should be sticking together for support. Mind you that's probably why I don't have a big group of girlfriends. I keep all my mates separate.

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's open to interpretation.

Some people it doesn't matter about who the op is and wanna help, some people don't care about op and wanna fight,some people care about op and will help one gender but not the other.

Wording and psychological predispositions play a big part in all human interactions. But if someone is a knob on the forums, they be blocked in my books. Luckily they're few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yup... I don't understand that whole thing either. Us girlies should be sticking together for support. Mind you that's probably why I don't have a big group of girlfriends. I keep all my mates separate.

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

If you were a bloke, I'd still bang you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snakes with tits.....just kidding, just kidding honest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is? "

Probably because the men are sucking up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would googly eyes work that well over a vagina?? Would look more like a surprised look in some cases

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

If you were a bloke, I'd still bang you

Is that a white knight post?!

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Would googly eyes work that well over a vagina?? Would look more like a surprised look in some cases

I have a set that I bought specially... I think I might make a monocle this weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would googly eyes work that well over a vagina?? Would look more like a surprised look in some cases

I have a set that I bought specially... I think I might make a monocle this weekend.

Please do. That would be hilarious. You could even grow a moustache for movember

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some interesting psychological commentary here...I may have to investigate more. There are definitely parallels with 'real life' not just this little corner of the web...there has been lots of research based on peoples action based on their perception of another...

Personally I try and be non biased with my posts on certain threads, especially the more serious ones or posts asking for help or opinions and i try and remain objective. Obviously that will not apply to many threads on here though

Cake is very gender neutral

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is?

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness".

I'm not convinced that ever works anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm afraid the most vicious and unwarranted nastiness I've experienced on this site has come from other women.

same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Snakes with tits.....just kidding, just kidding honest!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

If you were a bloke, I'd still bang you

Is that a white knight post?!

Totally, a white knight wanting to plunge his weapon into your scabbard

On your knees wench

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the circumstances. I think ScarletStars was spot on with her example responses on the whole. Men do definitely get the shitty end of the stick overall.

But I also see a lot of territory marking and one-upmanship either from the alpha-males who want to demean the other guys in some sort of testosterone / wall-pissing contest, or from ladies bitch slapping or making catty remarks about other women.

Thankfully it's in the minority and *most* people on here are balanced decent people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would googly eyes work that well over a vagina?? Would look more like a surprised look in some cases

I have a set that I bought specially... I think I might make a monocle this weekend.

Your googly eyed vagina, my googly eyed penis, he's a googly eyes manufacturer posing as a fabber

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

I hate it when women say they should stick together... 'think of the sisterhood' etc. It just makes it seem 'us against them'. We are all people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is?

White Knights trying to attract women with their "decentness"."

I just call them butt sniffers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm afraid the most vicious and unwarranted nastiness I've experienced on this site has come from other women.

same"

oh yes the hypothetically green eyed ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

I hate it when women say they should stick together... 'think of the sisterhood' etc. It just makes it seem 'us against them'. We are all people.

No such thing as 'sisterhood' really.

'The Mirror Within' book illustrates brilliantly women's attitudes and feelings towards other women succinctly, objectively and intelligently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not always, but the majority of the time if a woman and a man post a similar thread the man will be slated and the woman sucked up to.

Example: "Never been to a club before, I'm nervous and would like someone to go with me."

Responses to man would be "Man up and go on your own. Don't be a tosser."

To woman "Don't worry hunny pie, people are lovely. Go with a friend."

Example: "I'm thinking of leaving the site.

Responses to men: See ya! Bye! You're a pig because you think the site is instashag!

To women: Hide your profile sweetie. Take your time. Hugs n smooches lovely lady.

Couple of weeks ago a lady was complaining about all the unsuitable men messaging her. I was slated for suggesting that instead of sitting back and waiting for the right message, she could get up off her arse and message the people who were suitable

Nope. That was way too much trouble

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

I hate it when women say they should stick together... 'think of the sisterhood' etc. It just makes it seem 'us against them'."

Absolutely, that turns my stomach!! Lots of married women I knew were like that, concealing things like their spending from their husbands like they were the enemy and I just never got it. Let them all plot in the corner, I'll go dance with the boys!!

I have never particularly thought about the balance because I've seen people of both sexes ripped to shreds, and there are drooling sycophants of both sexes. How some people live with themselves I don't know....

But I suspect there are simply a lot more men prepared to suck up to the women as well as the 'sisterhood' thing so statistically they get more 'supportive posts'. I guess men are more competitive and less likely to support each other too.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Maybe I should have been a bloke.

I hate it when women say they should stick together... 'think of the sisterhood' etc. It just makes it seem 'us against them'. We are all people.

Yeah I understand what you mean, maybe badly worded but I don't like seeing bitchy women bitching at others for whatever reason. I guess I just like friendly people. I had a massive support from the girls on the scene when I was new and unsure about stuff, it was more comfortable I think than the support from the blokes cause only one lot were trying to get in my knickers so obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm curious.

Often I see comments on threads about the difference in replies when it's a woman who's posted rather than a man and I can't help wondering about it.

Does it depend on who posts or do you just read the question and answer accordingly?

Please play nice... I don't want to start a gender war... I really am just curious.

Ok I do agree partly about men getting the shitty end of the stick , but I like to think that's just a bit of ribbing, sometimes we need reminding gentlemen behave in gallant fashions ,

And I've read all that about white knighting , but boys are still raised to be gentlemanly or at least I hope so , and as such I am expected to behave in a certain way, and if I don't. I expect to be pulled up on it.

For example . If you are standing at the bar , and a fella grabs your arse. An' you turn around and chin him ( and fair enough ; sexual assault ) your fighting for your sexual rights ... But if I'm standing at the bar and a guy grabs my arse , I turn and chin him I'd be a homophobe . I'm supposed to be gallant about it.

Yeah.... So I think it prevails men and women expect certain behaviour from each other , ..... I think .....

... And if it's not met people get ... Antsy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without a doubt I don't think people even realise they do it. Gender doesn't even come into it for me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm curious.

Often I see comments on threads about the difference in replies when it's a woman who's posted rather than a man and I can't help wondering about it.

Does it depend on who posts or do you just read the question and answer accordingly?

Please play nice... I don't want to start a gender war... I really am just curious.

It's because many people want to shag a lady who's posting very few want to shag the man who's posting.

People are also usually stupid enough to think playing white knight in a forum is the way to achieve this goal.

I am my sarcastic self with all including those who I want to shag :p

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Yes - men get shot down much quicker for foolish comments than women

Why do you think that is? "

Obviously because people expect women to say daft things.... especially the blondes

Cal

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I will reply to a poster the same what ever the sex or persuasion. Especially if they have big tits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Without a doubt I don't think people even realise they do it. Gender doesn't even come into it for me x"

Exactly!

Me too - gender doesn't come into it for me either.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a bit of forum flirting and self promotion

people call it "look at me" but lets face it most of us are here to be looked at right?

Women are definitely treated differently than men on here - especially with the threads about cheating etc..

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By *awnmistMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

Gender is a linguistic term, humans do not have a gender. Only languages have a gender (or not -- English has no gender, French and Welsh do) The correct term to describe femininity/masculinity is simply "sex".Why are folk on here of all places still scared of this word?

It annoys me that everybody gets this wrong in UK -- maybe the Brits are all repressed sexually? Whatever.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Gender is a linguistic term, humans do not have a gender. Only languages have a gender (or not -- English has no gender, French and Welsh do) The correct term to describe femininity/masculinity is simply "sex".Why are folk on here of all places still scared of this word?

It annoys me that everybody gets this wrong in UK -- maybe the Brits are all repressed sexually? Whatever."

Blimey... untwist your knickers lovely, it's really not that big of a deal. Sex bias didn't sound right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It annoys me that everybody gets this wrong in UK -- maybe the Brits are all repressed sexually? Whatever.

Blimey... untwist your knickers lovely, it's really not that big of a deal. Sex bias didn't sound right.

Lol haha I want to fuck you.... I mean your funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It annoys me that everybody gets this wrong in UK -- maybe the Brits are all repressed sexually? Whatever."

Don't think we're sexually repressed but we do seem to like division, and being seen as different from anyone else, important even. And we have advanced language to a point where we can do that really easily and connotations have been applied for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's because many people want to shag a lady who's posting very few want to shag the man who's posting.

People are also usually stupid enough to think playing white knight in a forum is the way to achieve this goal.

I have seen it happen a few times where they do achieve that goal...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are predisposed to being defensive or aggressive to other people as part of our evolutionary history

Whilst our cumulative knowledge and everything has increased, we're still just animals trying to survive and anyone even slightly different is a threat

Some people can't accept this and therefore cannot move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it was because we are all raised to believe men and women should be treated differently by the way our parents act and films we watch. Believing men should be strong, brave shilverous etc and woman should be ladylike, classy and dolled up Is what society has deemed normal but it's all down to everyone's personal opinion on how each should behave. I would like to ask should the way we have deemed "normal behaviour" change?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would googly eyes work that well over a vagina?? Would look more like a surprised look in some cases

I have a set that I bought specially... I think I might make a monocle this weekend.

Your googly eyed vagina, my googly eyed penis, he's a googly eyes manufacturer posing as a fabber"

Haha. I accidently ordered a shit load from eBay. I can offer a great discount

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

It annoys me that everybody gets this wrong in UK -- maybe the Brits are all repressed sexually? Whatever."

Are you sure you're not from Tunbridge Wells ?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I answer the same.... and I don't think people always answer differently, they just fall silent when it's suits.

Mostly depending on the forum profile of the OP, if deemed hot, if they have a circle of friends who may rreact.

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