FabSwingers.com forum: Downward spiral

By *inkxRabbit OP Woman
over a year ago

Wok-ish Horsell temporarily

I'm going through a particularly low time at the moment and recovering from an attempt on my own life last week.

Please don't judge or criticise me; I can't help being ill.

Anybody who has been through this please PM me. How did you get through the aftermath? How did you drag yourself up? Is life ever the same again?

Any good advice? I was released from a place of safety with no follow up and can't get a doctor's appointment until Friday.

Feeling even lower than before the attempt and unsupported. My husband has made sure the subject is not brought up and expects me to carry on as normal which is difficult when you can hardly get your head off the pillow in the morning and have a ball and chain preventing you from carrying out things you used to enjoy.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Google elefriends

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going through a particularly low time at the moment and recovering from an attempt on my own life last week.

Please don't judge or criticise me; I can't help being ill.

Anybody who has been through this please PM me. How did you get through the aftermath? How did you drag yourself up? Is life ever the same again?

Any good advice? I was released from a place of safety with no follow up and can't get a doctor's appointment until Friday.

get on to your doc NOW and tell them its URGENT. Noone should be left with no after care following a suicide attempt. If youre very low phone the Samaritans. Honestly, the best thing for you right now is to talk TALK TALK TALK do not bottle up your fears, sadness, hoplessness. There is help available. The first step is the hardest and by asking here you've taken it, step over and SHOUT if youre not being heard.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Seek professional help and don't take no for an answer.... The Samaritans being the next port of call.

good luck

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

If you are lower than your were before your attempt, you need professional help and urgently.

getting support from fellow fabbers is not the priority here.

you need help and they are a phone call away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get help and get it now, do not take anything but the next emergency appointment from your gp because yes it is an emergency and yes you are worth it.

If you would like to pm me I'm happy to chat xx

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Two things -

1. Your husband's refusal. Insist on there being no barrier, if it would be helpful to speak with him.

2. As others state, get medical help. Phone and write to state that you need urgent care and a meeting. Ask for a GP to call you today, so that you pass on some of the burden.

Feel free to message me as I'm concerned, as this isn't a good situation for you to be in.

Think through the people you know and whether any of them would be helpful for you, even if just a phone chat. You may or may not want to share everything but if anyone you know is someone that would be nonjudgmental or would support you somehow, then consider trying it. Even just a few tender words or some hugs might be soothing and healing for you.

Write the Samaritans number too, maybe put it into your phone. They will talk and listen, entirely free of judgement or opinion, and you do not have to be suicidal to make contact. If you do feel suicidal again, please contact them, if no other direction seems open. Some centres are also open for visitors, if you'd prefer to speak face to face.

Thinking of you and hoping that some people can do much to support you and that you gain some lightening of your burdens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any good advice? "

Keep fighting. Even when you think there's no one to turn to, there is. SSRI's are a good short term help for clinical depression if your gp prescribes them.

I hope you find the strength to overcome your demons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hear/see this... As said above is demand you see you're GP ASAP.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP. I am full of empathy for you, having done the same myself and being a manic depressive and suffering from anxiety myself. If you wish to chat about it I can help out with some advice having been in same boat.

Try to keep your chin up and look for the positives in each day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last post similar to this had loads of replies. Seek some help speak to someone anyone who can help and I'm sure someone else has had similar issues to you and can help. Never give up hope. Xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't offer any advice but I just wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you and I really hopr you get the help you need xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are lower than your were before your attempt, you need professional help and urgently.

getting support from fellow fabbers is not the priority here.

you need help and they are a phone call away

This

You need help from a professional, OP. All the best to you.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without knowing the full extent then it's hard to advise.

Do you have a named Counseller that works with you?

The other suggestion I have for now is calling The Samaritans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't had the same experience as you but I do know how it feels not to be able to get up in the morning & face the world.

PM me if you want to talk x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your local social work services should also be able to help. I've had a quick look and their number is open until 6pm. x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Also, just take each day as it comes. Unload all of the stress and hassle that you can, especially with others taking things on for you.

Making things as simple as you can should help free up your energies to help you heal. Get plenty of rest and time where it's nourishing for you. If there's somewhere that would be calming or nourishing, perhaps from a short walk or sitting - if warm enough - then pursue this, maybe with another. Don't pressure yourself - it's not regenerative. But if there's one thing to focus on before the afternoon is out, it's to phone your GPs and state that you need to speak with your GP very urgently.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn"

I answered your thread sir with advice... have you spoken to anyone, looked up the numbers to call, looked at the NHS website ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to speak to someone who can make you feel life is worth living PM me ok sweety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn

I answered your thread sir with advice... have you spoken to anyone, looked up the numbers to call, looked at the NHS website ?"

Doctor can't see me till Friday. I'm using a site called 7cups of tea. Appreciate your reply. Ty

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn

I answered your thread sir with advice... have you spoken to anyone, looked up the numbers to call, looked at the NHS website ?"

Has anyone actually tried getting a referral to local MH services, either through a GP or directly?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn

I answered your thread sir with advice... have you spoken to anyone, looked up the numbers to call, looked at the NHS website ?

Doctor can't see me till Friday. I'm using a site called 7cups of tea. Appreciate your reply. Ty"

a good walk if the weather is nice will help, can you see a family member

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The waiting list is horrendous

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I'm in the same boat.... Nowhere to turn

I answered your thread sir with advice... have you spoken to anyone, looked up the numbers to call, looked at the NHS website ?

Has anyone actually tried getting a referral to local MH services, either through a GP or directly?

yes there will be a waiting list but if you are in crisis, surely there is a better route to help than the well intended offers of support on here. Post crisis, absolutely people here can help. But if you are suicidal, worse than you were the week before and you attempted, you need urgent help

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"yes there will be a waiting list but if you are in crisis, surely there is a better route to help than the well intended offers of support on here. Post crisis, absolutely people here can help. But if you are suicidal, worse than you were the week before and you attempted, you need urgent help"

But have you ever tried to access help?

It's not that easy.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

But have you ever tried to access help?

It's not that easy."

yes actually I have and I got it.

I have also spoken to someone and thought something wasn't right and did nothing.

I found them hours later. I live with the guilt everyday, it does not lessen, I will live with the 'if only'.

That is the cruelty of suicide on others, they are in crisis and need professional help.

Yes, I have been there, I am wise to life skills and could offer good counsel but I passionately believe The Samaritans are better equipped than me. I also think for people to post in their moment of despair and then leave and not come back and say they are ok, they have got help, they are in a better place as people will be very worried about her....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and this lady asked for help and got very kind kind offers, so did a man... I hope he got the same offers to PM as he seemed very very low, this thread got 2 replies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going through a particularly low time at the moment and recovering from an attempt on my own life last week.

Please don't judge or criticise me; I can't help being ill.

Anybody who has been through this please PM me. How did you get through the aftermath? How did you drag yourself up? Is life ever the same again?

Any good advice? I was released from a place of safety with no follow up and can't get a doctor's appointment until Friday.

((((HUG))))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP. I'm in a similar situation. I finally went to a&e to see the crisis team 5 weeks ago and I'm having a mental health assessment tomorrow. Reaching out for help alleviated a lot of the torment. Feel free to message me.x

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Lifes journey can make you realise how fragile our minds are at times. I hope you get the help you need...

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

It sounds like you should ha e had conta t with you local mental health crisis team. In the meantime SANE have an emergency number 0300 304 7000 but it only operates in the evening 6 - 11pm, otherwise the Samaritans are 08457 90 90 90.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I don't hav anything useful and new to add.

But i have such respect for OP'S willingness to be honest and ask for help here. I imagine that took a lot of courage, and hope that the result is useful, both practically and emotionally.

Hang in there, you can beat this.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Hi OP. A few years ago I was close to taking my own life. Life felt hollow and meaningless. It's a horrible place to be.

That feels like a completely different life now.

I'm sorry but there was no magic bullet. But through a mix of good friends, counselling and some medication and time things improved. Owning your feelings and expressing them and being heard was really important. Burying them and ignoring them is the worst thing. You need to find safe people to open up to. I'm sorry that it sounds like your husband isn't doing this for you.

But take heart, things can and do get better. Sometimes it's two steps forward and one step back. But be kind to yourself, try to find things you are grateful for and take it steady. The sun will shine again. It's just behind a cloud at the moment. X

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

I really hope you find the support you need. I lived with a survivor for a few years and it can get better again but you may need to fight for the initial help which I know is really hard right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in a similar situation recently let me help.

Message me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Through no fault of your own... you have come to a place where you need some help... so seek it out. Be honest with the doc, don't put on a brave face... this is what they're paid to do.

Take a look at the clock... it's moving... the seconds are passing... and as they do you are slowly working your way through this process and you will come out the other side... and everything will be the same again... if not better. If there's one thing about life that's a constant... it's change. In your case... change for the good.

Good luck

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By *inkxRabbit OP Woman
over a year ago

Wok-ish Horsell temporarily

Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

Good luck with your appointment on Friday. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. I hope you have found it helpful posting this and feel a bit more positive this evening. Sending best wishes to you. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

I have been in that black place too but not so far as to attempt to take my own life. For years I resented everyone for whom I was living this life that I hated. You can get past this. There is life afterwards.

I hope your Friday appointment is helpful but Friday is still a long time away. I know lots of people have suggested calling the Samaritans but they are just regular people like us on here with minimal training or qualifications. They are there to listen but can not advise. If it does get too hard, go straight to your local A & E to see the crisis team. Look after yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

The point of the Samaritans is to listen though. Because often listening is what a lot of people need. And the training the volunteers go through is a hell of a lot more than minimal. Shouldn't be dismissed quite so quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you big hugs xx

If you feel even lower then before you know you can go to the hospital as an emergency and they will help you straight away xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP there seems to be a lot of good advice on this thread. Hope things improve for you soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

I said what I did from personal experience. My (now ex) husband was a Samaritan for several years so I know what training he received for it, how he was affected by the phone calls he took and, now suffering from depression himself, refuses to phone them. I am not dismissing at all, just saying that if you are at the point where you are about to take your own life, they are probably not the right people to phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all your advice. I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday - and I booked a double!

I've been on very effective treatment with sertraline for about 3 years but never had a relapse like this one.

The psychiatrist told me to carry on work the same meds and try to refer myself to the mental health facility locally. No idea how to do this but suspect that Google might have the answer!

My email settings have been relaxed for anybody who wants to chat to me.

It's a shame that's been your experience. My best friend has volunteered with them for 10 years, the training and support she still receives is excellent. For some about to take their own life they may be absolutely the right people to phone, while rocking up at a busy A&E where they can be waiting a long time in stressful situation with staff who don't have the time to appropriately assess them could be a disaster. For others, that may be the best thing.

Anyway I'm not trying to piss over someone else's thread but my experience has not been the same as yours.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

It is good to see a number of people offering you advice and showing they care OP. I was in a similar Situation this summer. Life is improving for me. Be gentle with yourself. Take each day at a time. I have sent you a message and am more than happy to talk things over with you.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"I'm going through a particularly low time at the moment and recovering from an attempt on my own life last week.

Please don't judge or criticise me; I can't help being ill.

Anybody who has been through this please PM me. How did you get through the aftermath? How did you drag yourself up? Is life ever the same again?

Any good advice? I was released from a place of safety with no follow up and can't get a doctor's appointment until Friday.

Tried to message you but I can't.

I've been there done that and got the scars. Now, albeit years later, in a much better and happier place. Happy to offer support and share my journey and how I got through.

It will be hard and it will take a long time but if you want to be a survivor and not a victim it is worth it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going through a particularly low time at the moment and recovering from an attempt on my own life last week.

Please don't judge or criticise me; I can't help being ill.

Anybody who has been through this please PM me. How did you get through the aftermath? How did you drag yourself up? Is life ever the same again?

Any good advice? I was released from a place of safety with no follow up and can't get a doctor's appointment until Friday.

Best advice here is talk to a professional asap.

If you can't access your GP due to the time of night, samaritans.

Next best thing, get someone you know and love, who understands your circumstances to be by your side right now.

It's about tiny steps and small victories.

Learning how to control your emotions, not let them control you.

But right now, in this moment, talk to someone.

Good luck OP. You've taken the first step here. Now its time for a real voice in your ear....

Please call someone if you haven't already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel right now!.

My crash came a few weeks ago now it had been building a while.

It was caused by trusting a couple of people on here too much and lack of self esteem and confidence.

I had no idea it was coming until someone at work said something not nice and I collapsed to a mess and said I wanted to end my life. I had it all planned out too.

I've just had my first telephone counsling session my second is tomorrow. If you contact your dr the can make contact with your local wellbeing service.

My first session was about 2 hours and I got asked lots of upsetting questions to determine if and how much of a threat I was to myself. Although they classed me as high risk I've a good support network of friends and my mum who to be honest in the last 6 weeks have only left me alone for maximum 3 days.

My issue is around food and control I find it hard telling people face to face as feel so ashamed of myself.

I feel worthless if I'm not worth anyone's time or there feelings towards me. My way of dealing with this is either to starve myself or eat then make myself vomit.

To be honest it's kinda laughable a fat girl that's got bulemia but it's true I have.

I'm still at the bottom but I'm trying to claw my way back. It's hard I don't want to get out of bed if I do means someone will ask if I've eaten or how I'm feeling.

I try to do something every day just to change what I would normally. I've been away for days weekends and going on holiday in a couple of weeks but it's a massive struggle.

Anyway drop me a line happy to chat xx

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Good luck .. There is light at the end of the tunnel... All your forumite friends are rooting for you and sending love and best wishes xx olov

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

As I posted on the other thread...

"116 123 is the Samaritans.

Be careful who you share with as not everyone will have your best intentions at heart.

Be kind to yourself. Seek help from friends, family and maybe your GP if required."

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Also, if you are suicidal, phone the non-emergency number for your local police.

They are all trained in suicide diversion, and can be very supportive.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I will send a message in a bit.

I just wanted to say that I'm another one who "gets it" and understands. I've struggled with anxiety most of my adult life, but I have been horrifically anxious for the last 18 months. Life has just defeated me.

Everyone in the real world tells my what a lovely, kind, intelligent guy I am. I do believe them, but that makes it even harder to cope with the utter mess I've made of my working and personal life.

I've phoned the Samaritans. They can't solve your problems, but just having someone to listen is great.

OP (and others) - hang on there. Life's so hard and complicated, but rays of light can appear.

Take care all.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"As I posted on the other thread...

"116 123 is the Samaritans.

Be careful who you share with as not everyone will have your best intentions at heart.

Be kind to yourself. Seek help from friends, family and maybe your GP if required.""

I have to agree with the sharing of information with people, there are some folk who will prey on your weakness and vulnerability. I would suggest OP that you seek professional advice, I'm fully trained in sucide prevention but would never try to counsel anyone off the internet. I really hope you find the light through the black fog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also, if you are suicidal, phone the non-emergency number for your local police.

They are all trained in suicide diversion, and can be very supportive.

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By *inkxRabbit OP Woman
over a year ago

Wok-ish Horsell temporarily

I'm not suicidal today

I pulled myself together and contacted one of the local services who offer online CBT with therapy sessions. I've started already, even made myself a meal today! That's a good start for me.

I also dragged myself to a social this evening which has really helped. Thanks hun xxx

I'm going to be OK. Thank you for your support xxx

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Good to hear the above!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

That's amazing to hear. Hope it keeps getting better, take it one step at a time.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I'm not suicidal today

I pulled myself together and contacted one of the local services who offer online CBT with therapy sessions. I've started already, even made myself a meal today! That's a good start for me.

I also dragged myself to a social this evening which has really helped. Thanks hun xxx

I'm going to be OK. Thank you for your support xxx"

wow, that is a turnaround

continued good fortune

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not suicidal today

I pulled myself together and contacted one of the local services who offer online CBT with therapy sessions. I've started already, even made myself a meal today! That's a good start for me.

I also dragged myself to a social this evening which has really helped. Thanks hun xxx

I'm going to be OK. Thank you for your support xxx"

Best thing I've read on the forum all week!!!!!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I'm not suicidal today

I pulled myself together and contacted one of the local services who offer online CBT with therapy sessions. I've started already, even made myself a meal today! That's a good start for me.

I also dragged myself to a social this evening which has really helped. Thanks hun xxx

I'm going to be OK. Thank you for your support xxx

Best thing I've read on the forum all week!!!!!

"
yay xx

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