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Xmas jokes.....

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By *entcouple4550 OP   Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

I bought Sue a wooden leg for Xmas. Its not her main present....its just a stocking filler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made myself a snowman,As perfect as could be,I thoughtI'd keep it as a pet,and let it sleep with me,I made him some pyjamas,and a pillow for his head,Last night the bastard vanished,And pissed the f*cking bed!

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By *entcouple4550 OP   Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

How does Good King Wenseslas like his pizzas?......Deep pan, crisp and even.

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By *entcouple4550 OP   Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

People laughed at me when I told them I was a good comedian.....well they're not laughing now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an asshole," John said. "Piss on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever since it started snowing my mom has been standing at the window......

if it gets any worse I'm going to have to let her in

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