FabSwingers.com forum: Join Sophie's Apprentice Team

By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I need a bright bunch of motivated, committed individuals, or couples, to join my Apprentice Team. Tasks will be challenging and only those with great skills should apply.

Backstabbing, the ability to squabble, lie, cheat and connive are not commendable qualities, but frequently seen in the TV show. Tell us your qualities in your application below.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent eye makeup and I can actually work out stuff like costings which they ALWAYS fuck up.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sounds good Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also excellent at getting people to slag each other off behind their backs. All the men at work do this with me

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Brett from the show can join the team, if he ever got fired. Great company to have in.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I have been known to be bitchy, but keep it under wraps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very bright lipstick and an annoying laugh here.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I haven't watched tonight's yet but I'm good at just getting on with things without bitching. Solution focused apparently. Oh, and my eyes look very blue in certain lights, which I seem to remember a lot of in the boardroom in previous series.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You may need a toughness, resilience and nastiness, if we're competing with the standard Apprentice Teams.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make a lovely cup of tea. I keep a tidy desk. I bring my own milk and I don't steal other peoples' pens or staplers.

Oh,and I do a mean Friday dance.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm great at presentations/pitches and sales. One year I sold more mulled wine at the Ulverston Dickens weekend than any other mulled wine stall and I'm not even local.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'll do the events/organise everyone into their relevant skillset!

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Got any mulled wine left lickety?

Otherwise, mulled wine and lashings of tea works really well.

Where are the men?? I'm not a sexist pig but we could need some butch muscle around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't watch the apprentice, but I can be really mean and nasty. Does that help?

I'm also really good at handling budgets.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good at making sure there's always chocolate in the snack box. That's an invaluable skill if you ask me

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Got any mulled wine left lickety?

Otherwise, mulled wine and lashings of tea works really well.

Where are the men?? I'm not a sexist pig but we could need some butch muscle around."

I sold out.

I'm not doing it this year so I'll be free for Apprentice tasks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Excellent eye makeup and I can actually work out stuff like costings which they ALWAYS fuck up. "

A lot of the eye makeup is shit on there. That team leader looked atrocious

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Our makeup is always going to be in tip top shape. Plenty of refreshments. Good presentations, about our makeup and drinking. And well ogranised. Great so far.

Are we too nice??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a major douchebag, and I have no common sense, I'll fit right in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good with my hands......and sucking in air followed by "its not going to be cheap"

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Excellent eye makeup and I can actually work out stuff like costings which they ALWAYS fuck up.

A lot of the eye makeup is shit on there. That team leader looked atrocious "

Quite similar to her overall skillset, I'm inclined to think too. Plenty of mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our makeup is always going to be in tip top shape. Plenty of refreshments. Good presentations, about our makeup and drinking. And well ogranised. Great so far.

Are we too nice??"

I said I can be the mean one....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I look fantastic in a business suit and heels. Does that qualify me?

Claire

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

What are we called?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can furrow my eye brows and nod to make people think I understand what they are talking about.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What are we called?

Capable?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are we called?

Capable?!

Does that mean all team members are in capable?

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"What are we called?

We have to squabble over a stupid name - so over to you guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure if I qualify as butch muscle.

But I do have a particular set of skills, skills I have aquired over a very long career......

I'm not wearing make up though.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

This is of course the Celebrity Apprentice show. Now, where's Shag - he's not sent his application yet, though gets honorary membership surely. Is he too nice?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What are we called?

We have to squabble over a stupid name - so over to you guys

How about Taxidermy? We stuff the opposition and the loser leaves in a taxi.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"This is of course the Celebrity Apprentice show. Now, where's Shag - he's not sent his application yet, though gets honorary membership surely. Is he too nice?"

Tim was really nice and he won.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I'm not sure if I qualify as butch muscle.

But I do have a particular set of skills, skills I have aquired over a very long career......

I'm not wearing make up though.

That's ok, you could do less important work, whilst we sharpen our nails and get our makeup done.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"This is of course the Celebrity Apprentice show. Now, where's Shag - he's not sent his application yet, though gets honorary membership surely. Is he too nice?"

He needs to have patience!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure if I qualify as butch muscle.

But I do have a particular set of skills, skills I have aquired over a very long career......

I'm not wearing make up though.

That's ok, you could do less important work, whilst we sharpen our nails and get our makeup done."

I think you'll find my "skills" come in very handy......

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"This is of course the Celebrity Apprentice show. Now, where's Shag - he's not sent his application yet, though gets honorary membership surely. Is he too nice?

He needs to have patience!

As long as we're not voted off, whilst we're waiting.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

How about Fabulous for a name?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cock

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It must be time for an argument by now.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I still like Taxidermy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I like it

Claire

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I still like Taxidermy.

Yeah but would you buy a fish finger sarnie from someone with that name?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I still like Taxidermy.

Yeah but would you buy a fish finger sarnie from someone with that name?

I wouldn't buy a fish finger sandwich full stop.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I still like Taxidermy.

Yeah but would you buy a fish finger sarnie from someone with that name?

I wouldn't buy a fish finger sandwich full stop.

Not even if it had salad cream on it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I make a lovely cup of tea. I keep a tidy desk. I bring my own milk and I don't steal other peoples' pens or staplers.

Oh,and I do a mean Friday dance."

Damn! I was going to say that I had a really good stapler. That's me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about Fabulous for a name?

Fabulously Capable!

I still like Taxidermy.

Yeah but would you buy a fish finger sarnie from someone with that name?

I wouldn't buy a fish finger sandwich full stop.

Not even if it had salad cream on it?

Fish fingers and custard then?

Claire

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Right Apprentice team.

You have to squabble, fight, bitch and develop/promote a shampoo, with a cactus ingredient, as per the show tonight.

Clean Prick Shampoo, springs to mind.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Dry flaky scalp? Use Succulent.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Wet Prick Shampoo?

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Are the team still in bed - they're supposed to be in the Barbican in 20 minutes

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I had totally not known that this was on tonight - I'd assumed it was next week.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I had totally not known that this was on tonight - I'd assumed it was next week."

You weren't concentrating at the end of the show last night then.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"I had totally not known that this was on tonight - I'd assumed it was next week.

You weren't concentrating at the end of the show last night then.

I'm not really known for concentration Lickety - and I was probably busier posting on Fab.

Anyway, we've all got to give several million %, like all candidates do.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I had totally not known that this was on tonight - I'd assumed it was next week.

You weren't concentrating at the end of the show last night then.

I'm not really known for concentration Lickety - and I was probably busier posting on Fab.

Anyway, we've all got to give several million %, like all candidates do."

I think it should be a dog shampoo. The logo can be a large cactus with a small dog cocking its leg against it.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There are thousands of different cacti in the world, so I'm curious which one it is.

I'd also like to know the evidence behind its claims!!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There are thousands of different cacti in the world, so I'm curious which one it is.

I'd also like to know the evidence behind its claims!!!"

Lady Sugary, you're getting yourself in a twist. This one is the Fabulously Capable where we're pitching cacti shampoo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Right Apprentice team.

You have to squabble, fight, bitch and develop/promote a shampoo, with a cactus ingredient, as per the show tonight.

Clean Prick Shampoo, springs to mind."

Shampoo you say? I'm out......

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"There are thousands of different cacti in the world, so I'm curious which one it is.

I'd also like to know the evidence behind its claims!!!

Lady Sugary, you're getting yourself in a twist. This one is the Fabulously Capable where we're pitching cacti shampoo.

I'm often in a twist

We'll get ourselves more organised for future challenges. Or rather the team will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in top form with my arguing today, Sophie. Have I made the team, then??

-Courtney

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