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Sitting on the fence

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.

I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.

But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm a total wall flower and will often say what i think others want to hear

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"i'm a total wall flower and will often say what i think others want to hear "

It's true. I told her to say that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm a total wall flower and will often say what i think others want to hear

It's true. I told her to say that. "

thank you Sir

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

I'm too shy to even answer the original question !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can never sit on the fence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Next door moans when i do as they think im perving

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

ye want me to pick yer skelfs oot???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To many fooking cats sat on mine...No room

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.

is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ye want me to pick yer skelfs oot???"

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By *acquiesubWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

got no sense of balance so always fall off the darn thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone can accuse me of not speaking my mind

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"ye want me to pick yer skelfs oot??? "

splinters!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ye want me to pick yer skelfs oot???

splinters!!"

Never had a prick in the arse so first time for everything

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I wish I was tall enough to climb onto a fence in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wish I was tall enough to climb onto a fence in the first place "

See i dont have that problem lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet ya legs reach the floor at the same time too

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.

I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.

But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.

"
I dont think its a matter of confidence is it? What it is a matter of perception.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.

is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say "

i have seen it....but i hope it means they share your opinion!

i like it that you can argue with someone on one thread and go and support them on another...there's the odd tiff, but they never seem to last and the good thing is, you do learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bet ya legs reach the floor at the same time too "

Thats the problem which picket fencing the pointed bit lol

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I have tried to, but i cant, but in all honesty when i see others that do I think, oh come on dont be non committal. Ive learned loads from these forums. Views I may have had, when you see others challenging those and giving their reasons, its really interesting.

is it men that sit on the fence more than women - are they just conditioned to say yes to everything we say "

Whatever you say dear....ooops! Slipped back into married mode there!!

I think some of the forum discussions can be pretty interesting and people should be encouraged to participate. I also think a few people need to chill out a bit when they answer things they might not agree with - some

posters go too far in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/10 01:30:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When we post on forums, especially on big sites like this, are we confident enough to post what we really feel, regardless of what others will think of us, or do we sit on the fence and try and be non committal because we dont like confrontation.

I believe you should be true to yourself and post what you really feel. Noone else may agree with you, you may get people who come across as very blunt, or try and make you feel uncomfortable, but to me there is little point in trying to blend in with the crowd.

But... from the point of say single guys who are hoping to get meets with certain ladies, would you rather sit on the fence and bypass anything that may get uncomfortable because you dont want to risk upsetting anyone who you'd like to meet. Or will you say what you feel.

"

I would say almost all people on the forums think about how they are perceived before posting. They may sit on the fence on some topics and quite rightly do so because venting, arguing or being confrontational will bring, scorn, avoidance and possibly a ban.

An intelligent man/woman sits watches and assesses, the fool is the one who jumps in without thinking. I think its fair to summarise the fence sitters are considerate not to offend others, often intelligent and dare I say it smart for not upsetting potential meets.

Also it’s a bit like saying if you get pulled up by the police whilst driving you should say what you think rather than using guile and diplomacy to reduce a potential negatives. Well that’s one way of looking at things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to just rush in when i first joined fab when posting on forums and made my self look stupid, well still do now and then but with style lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How boring would it be if we all sat on the fence. It'd soon be broked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes though i think sometimes its because i dont always read all thats been said, and i need to think before posting.

A thick skin is a must

For the single guys, I think the same as ive said above, think first, then post but some who come across as very sure of themselves, possibly arrogant, sarcastic etc, are actually very nice guys

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I say it as it is.. but I try and refrain from inflammatory words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me know if anyone needs a leg up onto the fence...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As many know i have always and will always "sit on the fence" so ta speak

The reason for this is simple to me

I have lived my life and only my life

I have not had the same experiences as others and have grown up (No puns please lol) in a totally unique way as has everyone

Therefore another persons _iew is bound to differ sometimes from my own

I try to see the others point of _iew and that and my own _iew come out as a version of fence sitting in my posts

Of course i have my own opinions but at the end of the day they can be changed

The forums have made me see things from others points of _iew and some of my own opinions have changed accordingly

Life and people are diverse and there is no way that i would think i could be right on everything lol xx

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.

Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

I would say almost all people on the forums think about how they are perceived before posting. They may sit on the fence on some topics and quite rightly do so because venting, arguing or being confrontational will bring, scorn, avoidance and possibly a ban.

An intelligent man/woman sits watches and assesses, the fool is the one who jumps in without thinking. I think its fair to summarise the fence sitters are considerate not to offend others, often intelligent and dare I say it smart for not upsetting potential meets.

Also it’s a bit like saying if you get pulled up by the police whilst driving you should say what you think rather than using guile and diplomacy to reduce a potential negatives. Well that’s one way of looking at things.

"

I couldn't agree less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say it how i feel it .... I have to be true to myself here ... At times i have to bit my lip find words that will not afend others .. I know everyone is diffrent and it not always right for me with out knowing them well the ins and outs to judge or criticize. We all have our own values and have to accept others do too .. x I will sit on the fence at times as you cant really know a person 100% just from chating in here and know words can cut people like a knifeS and hurt x JO XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Depends if you KNOW your opinion will be the unpopular one and can potentially hamper your potential to get meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. "
with out knowing everything and the person you cant always its not fair on people. And thats being honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by right by the majority.

Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shit fuck bum..... I meant 'as right by the majority'

I'll never live it down. Pass the paracetamol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. with out knowing everything and the person you cant always its not fair on people. And thats being honest. "

personally, I just want to get along with every one, and perhaps the time i speak my mind best is when someone is rude, and deserves a reply befitting to them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by right by the majority.

Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks !"
Gan over 2010 your posts have been good and make me think at times ... which i like x

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so. "

I agree, but sometimes I think people post very strong opinions knowing (hoping even) they will cause offence.

We all edit what we say to people every single day, if we didn't you'd probably get a smack in the chops most days - the problem is it's a largely anonymous forum without face to face contact, so people don't feel the need to be as polite or respectful as they would in the real world.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Depends on the topic for me. Generally I add my thoughts to stuff as I see it but I don't think I'm ever offensive. I dare say I'm a bit sarcastic on the odd occasion but I am aware of how the written word doesn't always come across as it's meant. When you can't see a facial expression sometimes your meaning isn't taken the way it's supposed to be so I do try to read things I write as other people would.

I like forums and I like other opinions because I generally learn bits and pieces here and there. I'm not afraid to say what I think and then be educated into a different way of thinking. When I'm proved wrong, I'm happy to admit it. There are lots of people I admire with their ability to say how it is without being offensive and with humour. However, there are people who post that make me roll my eyes... mostly the negative ones who can't seem to help themselves in almost every post. So I suppose there are times I do sit on the fence cause I'd quite like to say something about that sometimes but from experience it's generally not worth the bother.

I also read the forum posts of potential meets. Gives you a whole other insight beyond the PM stage.

Having said that, I don't care if people read my forum posts, I'm me and I don't want to be someone else so if someone doesn't like the look of me from forum posts then it's a pretty good indication that they won't like me in reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair Jo ..... you change my thinking too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so.

I agree, but sometimes I think people post very strong opinions knowing (hoping even) they will cause offence.

We all edit what we say to people every single day, if we didn't you'd probably get a smack in the chops most days - the problem is it's a largely anonymous forum without face to face contact, so people don't feel the need to be as polite or respectful as they would in the real world. "

Some people just like to take offence. It's amazing how many people rally to the cause of whiners. Playing victim is a tremendously powerful tactic for winning the less perceptive over. Make someone look bad and bathe in sympathy.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I am often surprised by the number of people that assume that because someone passes an opinion they are arguing or angry or attempting to be accepted by (*as*) right by the majority.

Can't recall who has attempted to define intelligence through the medium of forum post but to whoever it was i offer a resounding Bollocks !"

Indeed.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"sitting on the fence means you are not being honest to your self or others, but do see why some people keep stum or just nod in agreement, its much easier to do so.

I agree, but sometimes I think people post very strong opinions knowing (hoping even) they will cause offence.

We all edit what we say to people every single day, if we didn't you'd probably get a smack in the chops most days - the problem is it's a largely anonymous forum without face to face contact, so people don't feel the need to be as polite or respectful as they would in the real world.

Some people just like to take offence. It's amazing how many people rally to the cause of whiners. Playing victim is a tremendously powerful tactic for winning the less perceptive over. Make someone look bad and bathe in sympathy. "

How dare you!!!

That's the other end of the spectrum as well I guess. One tip I would offer is to use lots of smiles to make it clear when you're just poking fun or making a daft comment etc.

See? Nice and clear what my true intentions were there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ever you took your hand of your bollocks and pointed the teeny thing straight at me THEN your intentions would be clear ( insert own smiley according to how much umbrage you have taken ) pssssssssst none intended tis all in the depth of the beholder.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"If ever you took your hand of your bollocks and pointed the teeny thing straight at me THEN your intentions would be clear ( insert own smiley according to how much umbrage you have taken ) pssssssssst none intended tis all in the depth of the beholder."

Is it not in the depth of the receiver???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fnarrrrrr you being rude ? here ? OMG .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....

Shit I'll start a post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as for sitting on fence, i have had offers off bi men (getting curious bout it)no offers off women yet, but i wont pass an opportunit up unless i wasnt in mood

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....

Shit I'll start a post "

Definition of Fab smileys:

Happy

Sad

Cheeky wink, yes, wink.

Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon

Dark in here isn't it?

Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..

Rasberry, or a request for oral

Embarrassed or sun burnt

Tut, 'yeah whoteva'

Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required

Out on a hen night

Laughing, but not green

I think that covers it.

Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/10 11:33:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.

Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process."

Ooooh I do like you!!!

Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.

Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now you need to put that in the other thread.

Is it teeny ?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.

Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.

Ooooh I do like you!!!

Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.

Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!! "

I completely disagree woman! And I have a nice bum....shame you're not closer really!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....

Shit I'll start a post

Definition of Fab smileys:

Happy

Sad

Cheeky wink, yes, wink.

Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon

Dark in here isn't it?

Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..

Rasberry, or a request for oral

Embarrassed or sun burnt

Tut, 'yeah whoteva'

Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required

Out on a hen night

Laughing, but not green

I think that covers it.

Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day. "

I thought:

was confused

was smug

and

was a dropped jaw... or someone who had been drinking frothy beer... I can never tell.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"BTW _nvictus... I never know what the smileys mean ....... here bel....

Shit I'll start a post

Definition of Fab smileys:

Happy

Sad

Cheeky wink, yes, wink.

Disgruntled, frowning, just bit a lemon

Dark in here isn't it?

Surprise, or Soxy has just shoved a root veg up yer..

Rasberry, or a request for oral

Embarrassed or sun burnt

Tut, 'yeah whoteva'

Laughing hard and going green, doctor may be required

Out on a hen night

Laughing, but not green

I think that covers it.

Oh, and Granny, it is a cold day.

I thought:

was confused

was smug

and

was a dropped jaw... or someone who had been drinking frothy beer... I can never tell."

No wonder we all argue so much! Our smileys are all different!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.

Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.

Ooooh I do like you!!!

Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.

Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!! "

I like you to lots but I'm also vewy vewy fwitoned of you.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I always thought this one meant 'I am a small yellow blow fish swimming toward you'

Apologies for using this in the wrong context in most of my previous posts. If people could trawl through all my posts and replace that smiley with the sentence 'I am a small yellow blow fish swimming toward you' I think you will find my posts make a lot more sense.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

mmmmmm blow!!!!!! sorry, got distracted there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do think there is a section of single males that sniff around the single females like horny dogs, nodding their heads in agreement at anything they say.

Personally I couldn't be arsed I have way too inflated an ego to curb what I say. I do however try not to upset people in the process.

Ooooh I do like you!!!

Some of the single men on here really don't realise how pathetic they look agreeing with everything certain female posters say. If they believe that will get them laid...bless their cotton socks. Then again, it may, some of the female posters do seem to like their egos massaging on a daily basis.

Give me a man that has a backbone and can speak his mind any day of the week. It just adds to my pleasure when I gag them!!!

I like you to lots but I'm also vewy vewy fwitoned of you. "

Oh I'm weally, weally a fwuffy, wuffy puddy tat: in this cold weather I warm up the lube! Christmas makes me soft!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

There’s a pub in the town.

Some people go in and stand at the bar all night. They start talking about life, politics, wars, religion, cars, football and anything else. They may not always agree with each other, but it never looks like a fight is about to break out.

Some people play pool or darts.

Some people sit and play cards, barely speaking aside from cracking the occasional joke.

Some people sit at other tables and discuss the pub quiz night.

Through the back of the pub there is a function room with a dance floor.. tonight it’s karaoke. So there are obviously some people through there too. Some want to sing, some want to dance and some just want to watch others make a complete cock of themselves.

Everyone there wants to be there for their own reasons and enjoy the pub in their own way.

Sounds a bit like a forum doesn’t it. And much like a forum, whilst there are 1000’s of people in the town, only a small minority are in the pub.

But let’s look a little closer at the people in the pub.

Some people get dressed up… some because they like to feel nice and others because they need the attention.

Some wear their comfortable casual attire and some still have their work clothes on… they are not ashamed of working in a hard graft job for a living.

Some go through to the back to letch at the young women in their scanty tops and short skirts.

Some women stand near the pool table so when the fittest guy bends over to take a shot they can drool and fawn over him, fighting for his attention.

Some people have to throw on very bit of jewellery they own, or at least will own once they have finished paying the 48 monthly instalments, whilst the person wearing a £10,000 watch never even thinks about pulling their sleeve up a bit further.

Some people can’t hide their jealousy, envy and disappointment at their own life… pointing at someone else who has something they don’t, who is with someone they aren’t or merely is someone they are not.

Some call others boring for not wanting to go through to the back… we always go through to the back!

Some name call the ones through the back who dance like they aren’t being watched and sing like no one can hear them.

Some admire the knowledge of others, whilst some mock the pub quiz team assuming they must feel elite.

Some keep their mouth shut because they like to watch, whilst others keep it shut as they know they’ll sound like a twat and end up leaving on their own every night if they express their real opinions.

One lad is even telling yet another version of a sob story he’s made up…. hoping someone will buy him a sympathy pint.

Some people think the world revolves around the pub… others may enjoy an evening in the pub, but do their shopping in town.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Hahaha! That about covers it!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

This pub sounds great Polo. Can I have a name and address for it?

In this day and age of pubs closing down and people buying their alcohol from supermarkets and drinking alone, I find it heart warming and refreshing that this establishment is thriving despite such austere times!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

What did Polo say? Only I was in the back dancing...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"What did Polo say? Only I was in the back dancing... "

Oi! Back in the back you!… I’ve put us down for a duet “Dead Ringer for Love”… you’re being Cher btw.

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