FabSwingers.com forum: Becoming Exasparated

By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Hi folks, I am becoming bitterly disappointed in my experiences here on this site in recent months. Nearly every time I've gotten to chat to a guy on kik/whatsapp, they've been to be using fake pics on here in the first place. That's incredibly frustrating and a huge waste of my time.

Secondly the couples who have decided to send me a message demand I send my phone number to them after like 3-4 messages without me knowing who they look like - many of them don't even have verifications. When I point out that I don't want to give my number to someone I don't know, nor do I know what they look or mention their lack of verifications, they go off on a tangent about it being "typical".

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

That's not even me counting the very creepy "Have you ever been offered cash" messages

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

Faaaaaaaaakkkkeee

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

If we cant see the veries, we ask for a chat on the phone to prove the female is genuine, pointless us sending pics if its just another hairy-assed trucker called Dave who's set up a fem profile to get his jollies lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you have put in your first post contradicts your profile a little, couples "demanding" your number yet you don't know what they look like.... Yet your profile states no pic no reply.... So why did you reply in the first place then?

There are fakes on here but much more that sent fake. Everyone we have met looks like there photos so maybe you should have stricter criteria to start with such as plenty of veris or meet people in clubs only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm incredibly picky and I don't even give people the time of day if I don't get a face pic with in the first two messages.

Sorry you feel this way x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that if this isn't fun for you then you should take a break or leave.

It can be difficult to work your way through the ins and outs of fab, but after a few months it honestly shouldn't be that difficult anymore.

Good luck finding what you are looking for.

-Courtney

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"If we cant see the veries, we ask for a chat on the phone to prove the female is genuine, pointless us sending pics if its just another hairy-assed trucker called Dave who's set up a fem profile to get his jollies lol!

I'm referring to people who message me and then demand I give my personal mobile number to them after maybe 2 messages when i don't know what they look like, I haven't even implied i'm going to met them

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I'm fake I'm really a frog. Giz a kiss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you need go to a few clubs and change how you meet if u feel like that then u just meet face to face from day dot

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I messaged you ages ago..but I am outside your criteria. I certainly would have been more respectful.

Perhaps you have just been unlucky? But even if you have been, you teach people how they treat you.

Anybody makes unreasonable demands.. block them. If they don't do what you request...block them.

Too old and message you...oh hold on

Maybe say hi as they are often very nice and be well verified

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I push for a coffee meet early in chat and don't share my number or any other way of messaging me. If they won't meet briefly for a coffee in a public place then somethings not right and I move on.

If they don't show then I drink my coffee in a place I've chosen and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi folks, I am becoming bitterly disappointed in my experiences here on this site in recent months. Nearly every time I've gotten to chat to a guy on kik/whatsapp, they've been to be using fake pics on here in the first place. That's incredibly frustrating and a huge waste of my time.

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest"

It's a tough one. What about insisting on a quick Skype chat to establish real or fake early on. If they aren't up for that then walk away and move on, it's your profile and your rules and you can do what you want.

The couples one is an oddy as well. Any idea why they're so demanding? I suspect that they're fake as well. Admittedly most couples only have pics of the woman up but if you ask nicely they usually have some of the guy they can show as well. If they give you some crap about him being shy or not having any pics, walk away as why should you show yourself when they won't.

The nice folk on here will stand out a mile for being nice, relaxed and doing things the right way. If you aren't comfortable giving out your pics in a timeframe you're happy with, walk away.

Remember, as a single girl you're in the minority by some margin so you may have to do more work in terms of ing out the weirdos but it's always worth it.

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I messaged you ages ago..but I am outside your criteria. I certainly would have been more respectful.

Perhaps you have just been unlucky? But even if you have been, you teach people how they treat you.

Anybody makes unreasonable demands.. block them. If they don't do what you request...block them.

Too old and message you...oh hold on

Maybe say hi as they are often very nice and be well verified

you may well be right about that

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I push for a coffee meet early in chat and don't share my number or any other way of messaging me. If they won't meet briefly for a coffee in a public place then somethings not right and I move on.

If they don't show then I drink my coffee in a place I've chosen and move on."

hmm that's smart thinking

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest

The nice folk on here will stand out a mile for being nice, relaxed and doing things the right way. If you aren't comfortable giving out your pics in a timeframe you're happy with, walk away.

Remember, as a single girl you're in the minority by some margin so you may have to do more work in terms of ing out the weirdos but it's always worth it.

Some great points there. Thanks for your response. I think i should change my methodology and possibly use some of your suggestions

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We would never demand, but, as I say, unless we have some sort of proof that a fem is... well, a fem lol, then we need to establish that early on in some way.

Pointless us chatting away for ages, giving away info and maybe even private pics, only to find the profile is fake.

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest"

Sorry, but in that case, why stay on here???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, this has nothing to do with you or your post, but...

I dare a single guy to repost this thread, just change "guys" to "women." I double dare you.

-Courtney

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By *dinMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"OP, this has nothing to do with you or your post, but...

I dare a single guy to repost this thread, just change "guys" to "women." I double dare you.

-Courtney"

do you take us for fools or something? lol I don't own a tin hat haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs

"OP, this has nothing to do with you or your post, but...

I dare a single guy to repost this thread, just change "guys" to "women." I double dare you.

-Courtney"

^^ I agree, guys get messed around just as much or dare I say even more by couples and single women on here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong. "

Oh, and good luck by the way, because your profile looks no different from the hundreds of fake ones.

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong. "

well aren't you charming

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest

Sorry, but in that case, why stay on here???

Exactly. I won't be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming "

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to think why are they asking for your number maybe because they have been messed about by the thousands of fake single girls on the site most of which have there verifications hidden they may be asking why hide verifications its suspicious why not get a £10 phone just for swinging ? Or if you have a smart phone what's the problem you can simply block any unwelcome callers

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By *ovinglife5000 OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"You have to think why are they asking for your number maybe because they have been messed about by the thousands of fake single girls on the site most of which have there verifications hidden they may be asking why hide verifications its suspicious why not get a £10 phone just for swinging ? Or if you have a smart phone what's the problem you can simply block any unwelcome callers "

I don't give my number out after 2-3 messages especially when i don't know what that person like. I wouldn't give my number out in a bar/club after 2-3 minutes. If that's the way others do things, then that's upto them but you easily verify on kik by taking a camera pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why we suggested a swing phone

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest"

I'm sorry OP and I feel for you this is a crazy world fall of sick f**kers .

All I can say is play on your terms not theirs you lay down the ground rules not the other way round .

You say what your comfortable with how you want the guys couples to behave act and what they have to do to meet you .

Trust me any genuine person is not put off by a single woman or a couple having ground rules and the like that need to be adhered to before a meet will be considered. Only those with something to hide will be put off by ground rules and the like .

Its the only advice I can give you this world is ruined by idiots and sick individuals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm assuming that the profile has been changed to just say "." Since these problems?

As a profile that brief will usually put off most of the reliable regular singers as they know nothing about you leaving just the people who saw your profile pic an went "ooo she's fit" and got horny.

As for fake pics consider people with large and unusual physical characteristics like giant torso scars hard to fake pics then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" .

Nope, I've been put off by people's utterly retarded ground rules before (I'm not giving my number or address out in the first message to a stranger purely because they have a vagina).

Sensible rules for both of your protection are one thing stupid rules like we must have your phone number or you send us pics first despite us contacting you put people off.

Hey what do you know those two "ground rules" of the couples are exactly what put the op off too.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results. "

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

" .

Nope, I've been put off by people's utterly retarded ground rules before (I'm not giving my number or address out in the first message to a stranger purely because they have a vagina).

Sensible rules for both of your protection are one thing stupid rules like we must have your phone number or you send us pics first despite us contacting you put people off.

Hey what do you know those two "ground rules" of the couples are exactly what put the op off too."

I didn't list any ground rules did I as for stupid ones yes I've seen a few and yes I've not bothered but if their clearly grounds about ing out idiots fakes prats picture collectors and the like its not a problem .

Come on we are not talking about the kind of ground rule you used as a example she's a single female so has the right to lay down sensible ground rule to stop people trying to take this piss and even more important for her personal safety .

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

" .

Nope, I've been put off by people's utterly retarded ground rules before (I'm not giving my number or address out in the first message to a stranger purely because they have a vagina).

Sensible rules for both of your protection are one thing stupid rules like we must have your phone number or you send us pics first despite us contacting you put people off.

Hey what do you know those two "ground rules" of the couples are exactly what put the op off too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" .

Nope, I've been put off by people's utterly retarded ground rules before (I'm not giving my number or address out in the first message to a stranger purely because they have a vagina).

Sensible rules for both of your protection are one thing stupid rules like we must have your phone number or you send us pics first despite us contacting you put people off.

Hey what do you know those two "ground rules" of the couples are exactly what put the op off too.

Ahh fight so "no one is put of by ground rules excapet4 fakes" is now "well OK yeah lots of people are put of by ground rules but how about these magical ground rules that I won't state are totally fine you should use these. ..no I'm not telling you what they are!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've started chatting to lots of people (girls) on here to find out they're actually guys or are using fake pics. So annoying and frustrating.

Ps my actual face is not a snowman and I do have genuine face pics.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

" .

Nope, I've been put off by people's utterly retarded ground rules before (I'm not giving my number or address out in the first message to a stranger purely because they have a vagina).

Sensible rules for both of your protection are one thing stupid rules like we must have your phone number or you send us pics first despite us contacting you put people off.

Hey what do you know those two "ground rules" of the couples are exactly what put the op off too.

Who said fakes not me I said people with something to hide .

As for ground rules how can I say what her ground rules should be I have no idea what she's like a person and what she comfortable with .

Grounds rules are about your personal comfort level not anyone else's .

As for fight leave it out this isn't the school playground you know dear god I've not heard that saying since I was 15

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

block unverified for starters - some ladies like to do the hunting so block all and you send the first message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"block unverified for starters - some ladies like to do the hunting so block all and you send the first message "

I can see where you're coming from. But not all unverified users are bad/unworthy or whatever you think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't like the messages you've been receiving, block messages and do your own searching. Be proactive and find those profiles you like the look of. Set your own rules and act upon them, whether that be ignoring unverified profiles or not engaging with anyone who wants your phone number too soon.

As everyone always says to the men on here, effort in = reward out.

If something looks like it might be too good to be true it probably is.

And above all, this should all be fun and if it's not why not take a little break. You don't have to delete completely, you could always hide your profile for a while and come back if you want.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest"

all the best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you've been receiving, block messages and do your own searching. Be proactive and find those profiles you like the look of. Set your own rules and act upon them, whether that be ignoring unverified profiles or not engaging with anyone who wants your phone number too soon.

As everyone always says to the men on here, effort in = reward out.

If something looks like it might be too good to be true it probably is.

And above all, this should all be fun and if it's not why not take a little break. You don't have to delete completely, you could always hide your profile for a while and come back if you want.

Well said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind."

Any more harsh than the "advice" given to men?

And "state of mind"? When someone is disappointed, you need to surround everything with platitudes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind.

Any more harsh than the "advice" given to men?

And "state of mind"? When someone is disappointed, you need to surround everything with platitudes? "

Or is it that I'm breaking fab rule #8 Men Must Fawn Over Every Female.

And rule #15 Only Females May Speak The Truth Without Being Criticised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok. Byeeeee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind.

Any more harsh than the "advice" given to men?

And "state of mind"? When someone is disappointed, you need to surround everything with platitudes?

Or is it that I'm breaking fab rule #8 Men Must Fawn Over Every Female.

And rule #15 Only Females May Speak The Truth Without Being Criticised. "

Anyway, certainly wasn't intended to be harsh, so apologies to OP.

Basically, do the opposite of what posses you odd about those people.

Do it yourself and you can't have cause for complaint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's rediculous and rude, imagine some ladies ask for a face pic meanwhile they don't even have a profile pic. How rude is that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind.

Any more harsh than the "advice" given to men?

And "state of mind"? When someone is disappointed, you need to surround everything with platitudes?

Or is it that I'm breaking fab rule #8 Men Must Fawn Over Every Female.

And rule #15 Only Females May Speak The Truth Without Being Criticised.

Anyway, certainly wasn't intended to be harsh, so apologies to OP.

Basically, do the opposite of what posses you odd about those people.

Do it yourself and you can't have cause for complaint. "

#Valid points

#harsh delivery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't say i'm enjoying being on here anymore to be honest

Sorry, but in that case, why stay on here???

Was thinking the same thing .

Strange how the reaction is so different for a single woman bemoaning about the site as opposed to a single guy .

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

The site provides for you all the tools to make this a far better experience for yourself, very few of the people who speak about a bad experience embrace these and take ownership. Especially women.

it will require guts, determination and effort, Ruby is spot on... Own your profile, own your experience and quit and 'woe is me'.

Block all guys and do the messaging to people who take your fancy...... try it for a week and see if it works.

If not, go.... it may not be the thing for you.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In two and a half years on here we only found two fakes. One a couple in London and one male in Norfolk.

We fab message chat first then ask for a picture when we have a raport.

The picture is used to identify them as we do not give them our full address. We tell them where to go and can see them from our house.

If they don't look like their picture we politely decline on our Fab phone (which they are warned about). The Fab phone is a sim only which is only used for Fab contacts. We have never had to decline yet.

Oh and yes. We never respond to those who put "face pic with initial message" that is what blackmailers and photo collectors put.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Not just some single guys who feel the need to flounce as they exit then..

bye OP..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definitely look at your message filters. I have lots set up, certain age, has to be verified etc. I always insist on a clear face photo, check they have read my profile by asking them to quote a certain statement on in, and if I like the pic, then and only then do I send a photo of moi. Ideally, always insist on a social meet first, somewhere public, if you both get on, THEN exchange numbers. It's certainly helped me out the fakes, and have lots of fun in the process

Don't let a few idiots spoil your experience, the majority of guys on here ARE genuine, and are just wanting some clean honest fun.

Good luck x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"If you don't like the messages you're getting and thr fellas aren't sending you face pics and they end up being fakes:

Block everyone from messaging you;

Do your own searching instead of waiting for the ideal message to land on your lap;

Don't forget to send face pics with your messages;

Show your verifications so the men you contact know you are real.

Basically, get up off your backside and do it yourself if it is so easy and everyone else is doing it wrong.

well aren't you charming

Not trying to be rude, but what's wrong with this advice? It is exactly what a lot of single women on here choose to do, and what you are asking others to do. And it might yield you better results.

I think the tone of this advice was harsh. Sound, but a bit badgering.

Get off your backside is very judgemental.

OP...this is all good advice if a little heavy given your current state of mind.

Any more harsh than the "advice" given to men?

And "state of mind"? When someone is disappointed, you need to surround everything with platitudes?

Or is it that I'm breaking fab rule #8 Men Must Fawn Over Every Female.

And rule #15 Only Females May Speak The Truth Without Being Criticised.

Anyway, certainly wasn't intended to be harsh, so apologies to OP.

Basically, do the opposite of what posses you odd about those people.

Do it yourself and you can't have cause for complaint. "

Personally I didn't think you were harsh. On a scale of 1-10, compared to the responses a single male would have received for a similar thread I'd give it 3 on the harsh meter.

OP, if this isn't fun for you why put yourself through the mill?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I didn't think you were harsh. On a scale of 1-10, compared to the responses a single male would have received for a similar thread I'd give it 3 on the harsh meter.

OP, if this isn't fun for you why put yourself through the mill?!! "

Well my first post was intended as a reality check for a pissed-off lass whose expectations were not met by her expectations: stop sitting back expecting others to do it your way, then complaining when they don't. Go and do it yourself if your way is better.

But then everyone (almost) jumped on the pretty lady feels sad and must be soothed bandwagon - hence Lib's thread.

Could I have used more soothing phrases to say this? Yup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I didn't think you were harsh. On a scale of 1-10, compared to the responses a single male would have received for a similar thread I'd give it 3 on the harsh meter.

OP, if this isn't fun for you why put yourself through the mill?!!

But then everyone (almost) jumped on the pretty lady feels sad and must be soothed bandwagon - hence Lib's thread.

Could I have used more soothing phrases to say this? Yup. "

Or you could say the thread was the result of pleasing another pretty lady's challenge

I thought people on the whole gave good advice which she seemed to acknowledge.

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