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Early Morning Jokes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can't sleep. Lets get some jokes going for everyone who cant sleep or is working late. Bit of entertainment to get us through.

What do you call a guy without a body or a nose?

.... Nobody knows

What do you call a teacher who's always late?

.... Mr Bus

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest hoping one would win.

.... but no pun in ten did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do u call a lemon flavovred condom?

cum in a jiffy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's e.t short for?

Because he's got little legs

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By *andS66Couple
over a year ago

Derby

A whole shelf of fabric freshener collapsed in the supermarket the other day, only just missing me.

It must have been Lenor, because it was too close for Comfort.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

My friend Gavin died from taking too may heartburn pills

Just can't believe gavisgone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I walked into a bar as a Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and a homeless person left and realised I'd missed the punchline

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you go on a cheese diet?

To cheddar few pounds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's blue and hangs from a fanny.

David Cameron's tie.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury


"What's blue and hangs from a fanny.

David Cameron's tie. "

See, you want to laugh at that but then you just end up thinking 'nob in a pig'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's blue and hangs from a fanny.

David Cameron's tie.

See, you want to laugh at that but then you just end up thinking 'nob in a pig'"

a guy walked into a bar ........................ouch it was an iron bar

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Our valiant Prime Minister?

Nob in a pig

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definition of agony? A guy sliding down a razor blade using his balls as breaks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definition of agony? A guy sliding down a razor blade using his balls as breaks "

landing in a pool of tcp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between Light and Hard?

You can sleep with a light on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our valiant Prime Minister?

Nob in a pig"

WHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.

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By *_and_k_staffsCouple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to santa

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By *exysaz1973Couple
over a year ago

leeds

2 canibals eating a man

1st one says "how you doing?"

2nd one says "Im having a ball"

1st one replies "your eating to fast"

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

What do you call a woman who's playing pool whilst balancing a tray of bitter on her head?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

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Beatrix Potter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a nun with a car?

Virgin mobile.........

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

How do you get 3 nuns on a stool?

Turn it upside down

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By *indy SometimesTV/TS
over a year ago

BoxHill

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He lay awake all night wondering about the existence of Dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick....

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral makes your day, anal makes your whole week...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why would you go on a cheese diet?

To cheddar few pounds "

Brie careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's 8 inches long and makes my wife come every time??

My thumb and middle finger when i click them together...

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

How do you know when you have passed an elephant?

You can't get the toilet seat down.

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By *ingcom76Man
over a year ago

cheltenham

What cheese can you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone!

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