FabSwingers.com forum: Look but not open

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why do women look at your message but not open it then look at your profile and say nothing. I took the time to write to you so at least have the decency to open and delete them if your not interested then we know to back off. Cause we all know your to busy and bombed out with messages to reply.

Really winds me up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do women look at your message but not open it then look at your profile and say nothing. I took the time to write to you so at least have the decency to open and delete them if your not interested then we know to back off. Cause we all know your to busy and bombed out with messages to reply.

Really winds me up.

Comments appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm guilty of doing that sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many reasons.

1. Because we can

2. Often if you read a message and don't reply, you will be sent further messages

3. We look at the profile to decide if the message is worth reading

4. Most messages received are fully shown in the preview anyway.

5. For all the women who may look at your profile, there will be others who do this without leaving a trace.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But then the lady can't understand why the guy gets wound up. I understand you all get 1000's of messages and it must be hard but surely you can see the genuine ones/the nice guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't even message me so i can answer, and i do this looking not reading thing too.

I don't waste any of my time on anyone i'm not interested in, simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But you get messages and look at their profile and when you delete their message without opening it. it still shows as unread on the guys sent list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't know, i don't look at my sent list.

There's no point in replying to people to say no thanks, coz not replying and deleting is saying no thanks, it's the same thing.

If people are checking out your profile and deleting messages then they probably didn't like your profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You are missing the point. If you delete a message without reading it shows as a unread message and not a deleted message. If I send a message and it's read and deleted I get that that person is not interested

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

I don't reply to every bit of junk mail.

Same as here.

I receive a spam bomb through the letterbox.

I look it over, decide in nanoseconds if its straight in the bin.

I might check out a little more if I'm slightly intrigued.

Then, I either decide 'no', or I decide to go in the shop and try out the goods.

Men are very good at mass marketing. The men who look at every 'sale' as a win, wins. The man who bemoans the people who couldn't be arsed to reply is going to spend a lot of time alone and crying.*

*Other peoples take on this may differ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i reply to every msg unless its pure filth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"well i reply to every msg unless its pure filth"
i applaud you as you're one in a million

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks" "

Stalkers of the 'sent messages' page baffle me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cheers tho being a northener i was brought up to be polite

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks"

Stalkers of the 'sent messages' page baffle me. "
why!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are missing the point. If you delete a message without reading it shows as a unread message and not a deleted message. If I send a message and it's read and deleted I get that that person is not interested "

Well i did say i didn't know coz i don't look at that page. But that's handy to know...

Ok, well instead i will advise you that people who are interested will message you back. Simple enough?

Focus on your inbox, you can even get emails sent to you when someone inboxes you so that you're not constantly on here waiting for messages.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

If I get sent a message with a dick as profile pic, straight in the bin.

Think on toots.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"If I get sent a message with a dick as profile pic, straight in the bin.

Think on toots."

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

If a msg has been deleted read or unread the msg header will have a line threw it but no matter what life's to short to stress over such bollex

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Well i did say i didn't know coz i don't look at that page. But that's handy to know...

Ok, well instead i will advise you that people who are interested will message you back. Simple enough?

Focus on your inbox, you can even get emails sent to you when someone inboxes you so that you're not constantly on here waiting for messages."

Exactly this. When you send a message don't expect anything back, read, delete, anything at all and if you get a reply, great. Really not worth getting all bothered with that stuff, imo of course.

Him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but also surely if they have looked at you and not done anything else that means not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why worry about unread deleted messages to total strangers on a website...you seem to be getting rather annoyed at the fact some people don't read your message....so what

.Try concentrating on the messages that do get read , moaning about it on here wont win you any favours.

I don't read messages if I have looked at a profile and I'm not interested why would I? Would be wasting my time and theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dude, if you're 34 and the lady in question wants 35-45, expect to get rejected! A girl wants what a girl wants, pretty simple really, move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I get sent a message with a dick as profile pic, straight in the bin.

Think on toots."

Same here

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Loads of reasons, and though I've been off Fab for a while, this tooic comes up a lot

Pretty much been covered in the responses above but I wouldn't get hung up on it, focus your energy on those that do respond.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"But you get messages and look at their profile and when you delete their message without opening it. it still shows as unread on the guys sent list "

Crude user names, cock avatars...I wouldn't even bother looking at the profile. We filter to suit OUR needs, if it offends some random horny guy...oh well!

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By *km45Man
over a year ago

UTTOXETER

I used to get annoyed sending long messages and not seeing it read, deleted etc now it don't bother me. I just move on and get excited when I get a reply. For me I've had better success sending messages from posts on the forums. Give it a try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if a message is showing as unread for a week does that not give you a clue that they're not interested? Best to delete your sent box instead of getting your knickers in a twist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks" "

The joys of fab is that you can run your profile your way. Expecting people to run THEIR profiles to please you is unrealistic. If something is causing you so much angst why are you here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would be better off clearing your sent box regularly and not worrying about it if it annoys you. You cannot influence how other people use the site so have to make it work for you and watching your sent messages is obviously not working for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I get sent a message with a dick as profile pic, straight in the bin.

Think on toots."

Case closed

that will be the reason why OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You would be better off clearing your sent box regularly and not worrying about it if it annoys you. You cannot influence how other people use the site so have to make it work for you and watching your sent messages is obviously not working for you. "

Exactly. Live in hope. Stop playing mind games with yourself and trying to work out what they're thinking.

Whatever will be will be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they haven't opened it and then said nothing then how do you know it's been opened in the first place ?

I know it's early on a Sunday morning but I'm confused

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

"All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks" "

how about instead of trying to tell everyone how to use the site the way you would like, you just suck it up and understand that if people are interested they will reply to you, if they arent they will ignore, not read, delete, block etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I'm asking is please open then delete messages if your not interested. Then we(us guys) can move on. I'm not a harasser and understand and appreciate a deleted message or a "no thanks"

Stalkers of the 'sent messages' page baffle me. why!!!"

Because you will get a reply If they are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they haven't opened it and then said nothing then how do you know it's been opened in the first place ?

I know it's early on a Sunday morning but I'm confused"

This. If it's not been opened, how do you know if it's been read?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they haven't opened it and then said nothing then how do you know it's been opened in the first place ?

I know it's early on a Sunday morning but I'm confused

This. If it's not been opened, how do you know if it's been read?"

Actually to be fair when I had a singles profile if I didn't log on or worse online but moouching in the forums ...I could have enough messages that some disappeared off the bottom. You would try to reply but at the wrong time of day... Or after putting up new photos.... You would get swamped ...

So a delete all was needed x

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