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I absolutely hate fucking pussy

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

You have to kill it 10 different ways to make sure.

Duh

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By *angerousEyesMan
over a year ago

weston

Not condoning or even suggesting you try this buy apparently pepper spray laced with garlic can be affective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

Dog?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

there is no humane way - leave them alone - any idea how much shit humans pour into the rivers and sea each year - what's the humane way of killing them ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

there is no humane way - leave them alone - any idea how much shit humans pour into the rivers and sea each year - what's the humane way of killing them ?"

Christ lighten up, its only a laugh ffs

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I put down pepper. Or some cat repellent that looks like green jelly crystals that smell like washing up liquids

If all else fails I have a plant spray filled with water that I use on them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

"

No it's cruel regardless of the amount of wildlife killed Just neuter more cats and reduce numbers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

"

Tried that, wasted £25 on 6 different collars for ours. Each time they've pulled em off and discarded them. Cats are stealthy animals so they'll get rid of the cause of noises

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Get a cat!

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

In that case back to shooting them .

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we had a backyard, our dogs patrolled it like it was a paid job. We used to see cats all the time...after a week, they no longer existed within a mile radius of our house.

get yourself a dog

-Courtney

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

Cats are not native to the UK so they have no natural enemies , bit like humans and look at the fucking damage we do .

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a total aside, lurve the avatar Courtney

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By *acelvisMan
over a year ago

Thurso

[Removed by poster at 01/10/15 23:16:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

No it's cruel regardless of the amount of wildlife killed Just neuter more cats and reduce numbers.

"
I wouldn't like to wear a collar with a bell all day. Erm well actually I've got the collar!

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts


"The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

No it's cruel regardless of the amount of wildlife killed Just neuter more cats and reduce numbers.

I wouldn't like to wear a collar with a bell all day. Erm well actually I've got the collar! "
#

So you want to go ' bird ' hunting together ?

Jo x

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Bloody ell, there's threads about this all the time on Mumsnet, never thought to see it on a sex site!

I love my pussy...

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution!

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By *acelvisMan
over a year ago

Thurso

I'm a cat lover and have a cat and dog

Mines shits in the garden a lot and does my head in but I guess it's mine and have to accept it But other cats come in and I have a water pistol harmless to the stray cats but enough to spook them out they soon remember

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts


"Bloody ell, there's threads about this all the time on Mumsnet, never thought to see it on a sex site!

I love my pussy... "

Bloody hell mumsnet on a sex site ...

Jo x

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"

there is no humane way - leave them alone - any idea how much shit humans pour into the rivers and sea each year - what's the humane way of killing them ?"

I am using water sprays to control them humanely, as per the original post. I just can't use that on the drive.

The main source is next door, who unknowingly had two un-snipped cats and claim that the resultant litter "couldn't be re-homed" (really? Who ever struggled to flog a kitten????)

Can I execute my neighbours, is that OK?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a total aside, lurve the avatar Courtney "

Thank you muchly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution! "

You train the dogs not to shit in the garden. That's what walks are for. So you can pick up their shit instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the water pistol isn't working, maybe just learn to live with it.

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution!

You train the dogs not to shit in the garden. That's what walks are for. So you can pick up their shit instead. "

Thanks, REALLY appreciate that.

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

Actually, there's now a sex topic on Mumsnet and definitely a few Mumsnetters on Fab!

( maybe this needs its own thread...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If the water pistol isn't working, maybe just learn to live with it. "

Ah apathy, the solution to all of lifes problems

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my mum got a cat repeller the ones that give off a noise that only they can hear so far no cats for four weeks

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"my mum got a cat repeller the ones that give off a noise that only they can hear so far no cats for four weeks "

Tried that previously, didn't work - as I said, motion-activated water sprays DO work.

Next door the other side put rubber spikes along the top of their fence - I watched one cat sit on that quite comfortably....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my mum got a cat repeller the ones that give off a noise that only they can hear so far no cats for four weeks "
m

nothing worked for us until we tried this! It eats batteries but the cat sh*t problem ceased overnight!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Get a fake cat. My folks have one. I've never seen a cat in their garden. There's a cheeky squizzer though. I'm pretty sure my Dad chucks stuff at it.

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"Get a fake cat. My folks have one. I've never seen a cat in their garden. There's a cheeky squizzer though. I'm pretty sure my Dad chucks stuff at it. "

Catch one, stuff it and leave it out as a warning to others, you say?

Worth a try....

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Get a fake cat. My folks have one. I've never seen a cat in their garden. There's a cheeky squizzer though. I'm pretty sure my Dad chucks stuff at it.

Catch one, stuff it and leave it out as a warning to others, you say?

Worth a try...."

No... it's a flat wooden thing... I'm not sure it fools anyone but I really haven't seen a cat in their garden in a long time. My Dad hates the magpies too... they eat the blue tits and that isn't well received in bird box cam!

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By *asonnosaMMan
over a year ago

Grantham

Get a scarecrow or put the misses outside at night time lol

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I'm a marksman with a .303 just saying like

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

Use lion shit to put them off innit. If that don't work, try the lion instead.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Get a fake cat."

They don't always work! I have seen a next door neighbor's cat just sit and stare at one quite nonchalentley then the kittens did exactly the same thing before going about their own business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

There isnt one !Get over yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Concrete.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Your garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very relevent for me tonight, my son wanted to use my motorbike to go round to a girls house to spend the night so as I am a good dad an hes 25 and a great son I didnt mind but he ran up stairs after getting bike out of garage, after he had gone I got up to make a cup of tea (Rock an roll life style) I noticed just as I trud in the cat crap he had walked through the house. I nearly hurled cleaning it up.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Simples sit in your garden

Simples

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

citrus? orange peel etc they hate it

chicken wire over entire garden? lol

there is a plant that deters them but don't know its name and only good for where they crap

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"There isnt one !Get over yourself"

I refer the honourable gentleman to the post referencing a .303 - no suffering there!


"concrete...your garden"

They are shitting on the concrete driveway - I'm not building an extension to their toilet!


"get some lion shit"

As a solution to too much cat shit, that's.....shit!


"I nearly hurled cleaning it up"

This is my main objection. It makes me retch cleaning it up, as the smell is re-activated when the stuff is disturbed.


" That's dark..."

There is (at least) a third "innocent" way of killing cats, but none of them are quick pleasant deaths, so have been discounted already...I'm not a complete arse!

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"chicken wire over entire garden? lol

"

They don't shit on the garden any more due to the motion-activated water sprays. Apologies for not mentioning this earlier.

Chicken wire over the driveway would make parking my car unacceptably inconvenient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not condoning or even suggesting you try this buy apparently pepper spray laced with garlic can be affective"

We use pepper dust, can buy it from most garden centres

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought free manure for the garden would be good?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The most recent figures are from the Mammal Society, which estimates that the UK's cats catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 55 million are birds.

An estimate I agree , but surely wearing a bell might help the environment a little .

"

Mum's cats have bells on their collars, but the crafty little buggers learn how to walk without jingling them!

Best product for detering cats from coming onto your property is lion or tiger shit. Available in pellets off amazon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Post the shit back thrugh your neighbours letter box with an invitation for them to clean up your drive and avoid getting the shit in their hallway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Catch in trap and take to pdsa if has no collar on if has collar on then give good drenshing with hose pipe and release they dont come back after a good soaking.

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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

We had a pussy problem recently.

Our newly acquired super-cute neutered young female was being terrorized by a large black predatory (un-neutered) male. It culminated in her being attacked and hurt costing us hundreds in vet bills.

Being a shooter/hunter it was a problem I thought I could solve. However, shooting cats in your garden is an offence and could have ended in me being in a world of shit.

For a few weeks I set up a Larsen trap (humane fox/cat/badger) to get the black twat with the intention of taking it to the vet to be neutered or a long trip away and releasing him into the wild.

I caught foxes, hedgehogs, other cats, our cats but the nemesis remained free.

Eventually, after once again having to rescue little 'Nelly' when the bastard treed her, I sat up all night for a few days with a night vision spotter and my paintball gun. My patience was rewarded at dawn one morning and I let him have it with a volley of low power paint balls.

He hasn't been back or attacked her again but we've imposed a night curfew on her just in case.

Hope this helps

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"Post the shit back thrugh your neighbours letter box with an invitation for them to clean up your drive and avoid getting the shit in their hallway. "

How the hell do I prove which neighbour's cat it is????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

"

How would you like it if people you annoyed executed you. Get some citrus fruit spray, it repless cats safely. If you touch any of them I'll bite your balls off. You don't own your garden, you just borrowed it off the planet so respect others animals who where here before you.

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"we've imposed a night curfew on her just in case.

Hope this helps

"

So you've trained your cat? Good on you, wish my neighbours would....

Traps are an interesting idea though......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...cats that shit in my garden. After many years trying all sorts of smelly discouragements, I finally ended up at a motion-activated sprinkler, which improves the situation.

Except now the little fuckers have started using the driveway.

What's the humane way of executing a cat?

We had a pussy problem recently.

Our newly acquired super-cute neutered young female was being terrorized by a large black predatory (un-neutered) male. It culminated in her being attacked and hurt costing us hundreds in vet bills.

Being a shooter/hunter it was a problem I thought I could solve. However, shooting cats in your garden is an offence and could have ended in me being in a world of shit.

For a few weeks I set up a Larsen trap (humane fox/cat/badger) to get the black twat with the intention of taking it to the vet to be neutered or a long trip away and releasing him into the wild.

I caught foxes, hedgehogs, other cats, our cats but the nemesis remained free.

Eventually, after once again having to rescue little 'Nelly' when the bastard treed her, I sat up all night for a few days with a night vision spotter and my paintball gun. My patience was rewarded at dawn one morning and I let him have it with a volley of low power paint balls.

He hasn't been back or attacked her again but we've imposed a night curfew on her just in case.

Hope this helps

"

Thats pretty much the way single males and females are in here too......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A quick shot in the arse with a soft air bb gun did the trick for me! Just saying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

orange peel for whatever reason keeps the cats out of my garden

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"You don't own your garden, you just borrowed it off the planet so respect others animals who where here before you."

Supply your home address and we'll all come and shit in your garden. Perfectly natural activity! [\joke]

Seriously, if I was serious about killing them, a) I'd have done it by now, b) I wouldn't need to post about it, you'd have seen my court appearances on the news.


"If you touch any of them I'll bite your balls off."

Please don't threaten other users, you could get in trouble...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution! "

If you have your own cat you can train it to poo in a litter tray though! I'm allergic to cats though so this isn't an option!

When I got my first house there were cats that pooed in my garden daily. I had a baby so wanted to stop it. I put food, water and milk out for them occasionally. They decided that my garden was an extension of their own property and stopped pooing on it! It cost me about 2 quid a week in all and was well worth it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

howay people lighten up

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By *harpDressed Man OP   Man
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution!

If you have your own cat you can train it to poo in a litter tray though! I'm allergic to cats though so this isn't an option!

When I got my first house there were cats that pooed in my garden daily. I had a baby so wanted to stop it. I put food, water and milk out for them occasionally. They decided that my garden was an extension of their own property and stopped pooing on it! It cost me about 2 quid a week in all and was well worth it!! "

I don't want a cat, and as far as I understand it, litter trays require changing too...!

I quite like the psychology of the idea that my garden becomes a place they are welcome, so don't toilet there. I just don't trust them....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The original problem was shit in the garden...

Having my own cat / dog is hardly a solution!

If you have your own cat you can train it to poo in a litter tray though! I'm allergic to cats though so this isn't an option!

When I got my first house there were cats that pooed in my garden daily. I had a baby so wanted to stop it. I put food, water and milk out for them occasionally. They decided that my garden was an extension of their own property and stopped pooing on it! It cost me about 2 quid a week in all and was well worth it!!

I don't want a cat, and as far as I understand it, litter trays require changing too...!

I quite like the psychology of the idea that my garden becomes a place they are welcome, so don't toilet there. I just don't trust them...."

Well I suggest you try it lovely!

It'll only cost you a few cheap tins of cat food and a pint of milk to find out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used a water pistol on my neighbours cat but she just kept coming back when I wasn't in. One squirt with the hose pipe on full chat and boom! No more poo in my plants. I'm sure she'll come in through the window one night when I'm asleep and tear my face off.......

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