FabSwingers.com forum: Home security bellend

By *artytwo OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney"
.

What if I come round with some meat hanging out of my trouser pocket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney"

Our sausage dog has the same effect at 5KG

Very loud deep bark for a small dog

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By *artytwo OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney"

You should come and live on our estate, it's like crufts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney.

What if I come round with some meat hanging out of my trouser pocket

Then I'd really be worried for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney.

What if I come round with some meat hanging out of my trouser pocket

Then I'd really be worried for you "
.

Everybody loves sausage

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By *ike00465Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Cctv on corner of house keeps a eye on who's about

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Came home pissed up from a night out before and left the front door open all night. Nothing got robbed though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Came home pissed up from a night out before and left the front door open all night. Nothing got robbed though.

"
.

You did better than me... I didn't even make it through the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would regularly come home half cut and leave the front door wide open

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone broke in here they would break their neck either falling over the cats or on toys. Then there is my dog to greet them- she always jumps up at the point where mens nuts are so not too worried!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came home from holiday once at 3 in the morning and had to then drive home from Manchester to Nottingham. When I got home I was so tired I didn't realise but left the suitcases on the front doorstep and just went in and shut door behind me. Was amazed when they were still there in the morning though.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I went on holidays and left my keys in the front door. It's was to do if you're thinking of other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I went on holidays and left my keys in the front door. It's was to do if you're thinking of other things."

easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had attempted break in a while back and my awesome dog alerted the neighbours who phone the police

Ex left keys in car ignition once for two days and wasn't taken

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It's heartening to know there are a lot of honest people about in this world. The world isn't as bad a place as people make out.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London.

I always leave the top windows open & luckily nothing has happened, front door been left open by my boys on occasion to.

Having neighbours that do an informal watch on the area helps too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try living nr Bradford.... They nick ur gold fillings if ur not walking quick enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a lot of break ins are chancers and not people looking to see if keys are left in doors etc - cars unlocked are the one thing that people will try in passing - and hope to get lucky - they will find not much more than a lippy and hand sanitizer if they got in my car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never lock the doors here, and always leave the car keys in the ignition Never have to worry about losing keys or locking yourself out. Plus easier for delivery drivers to drop things off when we're out and of course for neighbours dropping in for a cuppa.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

When we moved to Derbyshire the estate agent showed someone round our house in Bristol and forgot to shut the front door. It was Hallowe'en, so the local kids cleaned us out.

I suspect once they got my rather eclectic mix of music cds home, they felt they'd been tricked rather than treated!

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Husband leaves the living room window open on a regular basis overnight, he never thinks to check before he comes to bed. It drives me potty!

And its not a small window, its a big, climb through one.

And we face a playing field with a path running by the side and its not well lit, so any passing burglar could hop in and hop back out with all our valuables.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am really bad at security, often left doors unlocked / open for weeks at a time, never had any bother. L is security mad, so now it's mostly locked up or I get told off big time...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Been out for the day come back and the front door is wide open.

Also woke up one night with someone shouting hello, went to see and front door was wide open and someone was checking in was OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney"

I'm the same

My dogs are as soft as shit but if anybody so much as touches my gate they go bonkers

I have a 46kilo Labrador who literally head butts the door if anybody comes near it. His barking and banging is quite intimidating for anybody on the other side and regular I open the door to find the person walking off

Thing is he wouldn't harm anyone, if they had the balls to walk in he wouldn't hurt them but this going to take that risk with him behaving like that on the other side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe people shouldn't say too much on a public forum ......

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?"

Totally - I leave everything open all the time. Mind you, we live in a small town so the chance of anything being nicked are small.

But when we lived in London I did once return to the house after work to find I'd left the front door open ALL DAY.

Nothing was taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is all a bit naive

It's saying " it will never happen to me, " or if I found em I'd do x or y.

Til uv seen the devastation when it does happen or the sick deep feeling u get when it has then u wouldn't be so lax.

Living in a small town or village doesn't make u less likely to be burgled.

I see it every day in my job, I know that the people doing it don't give a damn who u are.

Locking a door or putting an alarm on or putting a dog sign up isn't hard practice.

And saying ud hit em with a weapon... 90% of thefts come when ur out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Came home pissed up from a night out before and left the front door open all night. Nothing got robbed though.

You did better than me... I didn't even make it through the door

My mate got home pissed an had to get through a window. He climbed into bed with a sleeping couple who thought they were being robbed. He was so pissed he was trying to get them out of his house when the police arrived. It was his neighbours

next door but one, same layout.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats nothing you won't believe this

Years ago my mates and me did a load of mushrooms in a local park.

We all split up tripping, few hours later we get back the flat where my mate, still tripping his nuts off tells us he's caught a leprechaun.

"Oh yeah" we say "course you have, thinking its the acid. "No come and see" he says

Takes us to his wardrobe where a small boy about 7, with down syndrome was standing with a beaming smile on his face.

No shit!!!

It turned out ok, we took him back to the park. He thought it was hide and seek.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I live on the top floor of a block of flats, so if someone broke in through my window I would be seriously spooked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?"

You need to make sure the house is all locked up safe and baseball bat is not a good weapon for confined space, paintball gun ok but to leave it loaded an gassed up is not ideal. A hammer ( house hold implement) is better a walking stick is good for keep foe at range. I have trained several people who have been attacked in their house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's heartening to know there are a lot of honest people about in this world. The world isn't as bad a place as people make out.

There are a lot of good people but an equal amount of bad ones, be prepared just incase.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't really worry about home security.

We have 2 dogs that weigh about 70lbs each. Come near the house and they bark, loudly. People don't tend to bother us.

-Courtney"

Dogs are the best guards, I have 2 Ridgebacks weighing 100 lb each and I am a self defence trainer and close protection officer

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By *artytwo OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?

There is no easy answer to home defense particularly in this country:

"Well actually yer honour, I happened to be sat in the living room at 2 am practicing speed loading me Remmy 11-87 when coincidentally the accused battered the back door in and it made me jump and I shot the cunt 9 times" Cue 20 years of gay sex.

Most of the burglars I have dealt with have been cowardly snidey cnuts despised even by their own kind.

However, cornered rats of any shape or size are best avoided.

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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?"

I do this often lol

Be careful with the baseball bat if Feds think it's purpose is defence you'd get done for clattering someone with it!

I have six D-cell mag light torch for use in the event of a power cut next to my bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do this often lol

Be careful with the baseball bat if Feds think it's purpose is defence you'd get done for clattering someone with it!

I have six D-cell mag light torch for use in the event of a power cut next to my bed

I have 4 swords next to my bed, do you think I would get away with it

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

When I saw the thread title my imagination went into overdrive....

It would have to be quite a big 'un to scare would-be intruders...and might attract the wrong type...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do this often lol

Be careful with the baseball bat if Feds think it's purpose is defence you'd get done for clattering someone with it!

I have six D-cell mag light torch for use in the event of a power cut next to my bed

I have 4 swords next to my bed, do you think I would get away with it

One of those airhorns is ideal, noise is a mroe effecctive weapon as atracting attention and so discoordinating. Burlar alarms generally work on the same principle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do this often lol

Be careful with the baseball bat if Feds think it's purpose is defence you'd get done for clattering someone with it!

I have six D-cell mag light torch for use in the event of a power cut next to my bed

I have 4 swords next to my bed, do you think I would get away with it

No because you are being pre-emptive, a hairspray aerosol is easier to explain, unless you are bald

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Backdoor always unlocked at both my exes house and my new house the patio door is left open (purely for the cat to go in and out night) but then there is houses either side and at the back so it would be pretty hard to break in!

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?"

You do know if you touch anyone one the ground floor of your house it is assault, if you beat the shit out of them upstairs it is classed as self defence.

Btw be careful with that paintball gun, anything with a muzzle velocity over 180 fps requires a class one firearms license. Or they used to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dogs are a brilliant deterrent, I know a mate had a well known family (to the police) report them for having a dangerous dog. It was a border collie that barked at anything that walked past the front gate, only thing was anyone got inside and they got licked to death.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do know if you touch anyone one the ground floor of your house it is assault, if you beat the shit out of them upstairs it is classed as self defence.

Bollocks. The law isn't that black and white.

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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

The ground floor upstairs thing is def not true, it all depends on what you hit them with, how hard, how many times and why. Each case will be judged on merit not to a strict formula must be minimum force, proportionate to the risk and justified. So smacking some over head as they run away would get you done for example. Crappy rules but that's how it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of a body builder who killed a lad in his bedroom, the kid had a pen in his hand, the body builder put the axe he kept under the bed in the kids skull. The body builder got away with self defence, the burglar died instantly.

I know two other people who have hospitalized burglars upstairs and got away with self defence, they attacked the burglar on the landing.

If I am not mistaken, it is self defence if you fear for the safety of yourself and your family. So if you beat the shit out of someone upstairs it can be self defence. It is thought as someone stated how much force used and what you use to beat the shit out of someone that matters.

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By *artytwo OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I, Mr T am a total arse when it comes to household security. A couple of nights ago I left the garage open all night, not for the first time and our house faces a busy-ish road.

Wife and Daughter went mad at me.

If anyone did break in they would face a baseball bat and a paintball gun.

Is anyone else as bad as me?

Or conversely, completely paranoid about doors and windows being left open?

You do know if you touch anyone one the ground floor of your house it is assault, if you beat the shit out of them upstairs it is classed as self defence.

Btw be careful with that paintball gun, anything with a muzzle velocity over 180 fps requires a class one firearms license. Or they used to."

Cue 'know all mode'

Nah don't worry, it's a lot higher than that, you could probably whack a tennis ball faster lol.

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By *artytwo OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"You do know if you touch anyone one the ground floor of your house it is assault, if you beat the shit out of them upstairs it is classed as self defence"

I thought that was S&M M'lud?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ground floor upstairs thing is def not true, it all depends on what you hit them with, how hard, how many times and why. Each case will be judged on merit not to a strict formula must be minimum force, proportionate to the risk and justified. So smacking some over head as they run away would get you done for example. Crappy rules but that's how it is"

All true. 3 blows in self defence I was taught but not with the axe I guess lol

Right cross, left knee and right elbow to back is more my think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say paranoid, but certainly 'alert'

They'd have to get through a gate and two doors to get inside the flat.

The dog doesn't bark but he's a funny sod with those that are invited in, let alone those that aren't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was advised to be certain to hit them in the face, upstairs or downstairs is not so important as them coming towards you rather than running away... swords in my bedroom are simply decorative I used to play with them in re-enactment but to old for all that sort of thing these days

Anyhow just dropped L into town as she is out with the girls tonight, got home to find I left the front door open... I am blaming OP for planting the suggestion in my mind

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By *isdirtygirlCouple
over a year ago

somewhere out there

"Thats nothing you won't believe this

Years ago my mates and me did a load of mushrooms in a local park.

We all split up tripping, few hours later we get back the flat where my mate, still tripping his nuts off tells us he's caught a leprechaun.

"Oh yeah" we say "course you have, thinking its the acid. "No come and see" he says

Takes us to his wardrobe where a small boy about 7, with down syndrome was standing with a beaming smile on his face.

No shit!!!

It turned out ok, we took him back to the park. He thought it was hide and seek.

I really shouldn't but that is fucking hilarious. Him.

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