FabSwingers.com forum: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

One of my favourite films.

If you had the option to remove negative experiences or memories including ex partners would you?

Some people can see these things as parts of life that made them stronger but for some past holds them back.

For me I would have some alterations done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd keep things as they happened, or at least keep my decisions in there, as that's what I wanted at that precise time I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prefer being John matchsticks or whatever his name is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've thought about this a lot in the past so I don't have to think about my answer.

My answer would be no I wouldn't remove them, I have a wonderful ability to compartmentalise things from my past, put them in a box and forget about them and I do actually forget about them until something comes up to remind me.

But I have no emotions attached to my negative past I can talk about it cold and factually without a thought.

But it also helps me bloody appreciate all the good things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my favourites too, so bitter sweet. I wouldn't erase any memories of past relationships, even the bad ones, but there are a few horrible things I could without knowledge of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've thought about this a lot in the past so I don't have to think about my answer.

But I have no emotions attached to my negative past I can talk about it cold and factually without a thought.

But it also helps me bloody appreciate all the good things"

I've never learned to compartmentalise at all. I desperately wish I could. An oddity of aspie brain function perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not. The negative experiences have shaped me as much as the positive. Beyond that, I don't want to repeat mistakes made

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

No because that would mean erasing over half my life

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"One of my favourite films.

If you had the option to remove negative experiences or memories including ex partners would you?

Some people can see these things as parts of life that made them stronger but for some past holds them back.

For me I would have some alterations done.

But wasn't the point of the film that it is only the memory of your past mistakes that stops you from reliving them? (It might not have been, it was a while ago

)

I do believe that while some people believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, others prefer to blame one thing from their past for all their future mistakes/failures.

Some mistakes have lasting consequences, but most do not.

So, if I am currently where I am as a consequence of every single step, fork and stumble I have ever made, I wouldn't risk avoiding a single one of them.

(That would be 'The Butterfly Effect'

)

Mr ddc

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm sure it's a good film but it's emotionally tied to what was a difficult time for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep things as they where. Its the people you knew and experiences you had make you the person you are.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of my favourite films.

If you had the option to remove negative experiences or memories including ex partners would you?

Some people can see these things as parts of life that made them stronger but for some past holds them back.

For me I would have some alterations done.

But wasn't the point of the film that it is only the memory of your past mistakes that stops you from reliving them? (It might not have been, it was a while ago

)

I do believe that while some people believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, others prefer to blame one thing from their past for all their future mistakes/failures.

Some mistakes have lasting consequences, but most do not.

So, if I am currently where I am as a consequence of every single step, fork and stumble I have ever made, I wouldn't risk avoiding a single one of them.

(That would be 'The Butterfly Effect'

)

Mr ddc"

Maybe not mistakes but what about stuff that happened beyond your control?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't erase/change anything.

I'm defined by my past whether good or bad.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Mr ddc

Maybe not mistakes but what about stuff that happened beyond your control? "

There is stuff beyond my control?

You clearly don't appreciate how deep my OCD runs, nor the number of eventualities pre-planned on my spreadsheets.

Learning to come to terms with those things still colours your present, and makes us who we are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd keep my memories. I had PTSD and my brain automatically got rid of them (and still does to a degree) when i can't cope with them.

I like thinking about people, i like feeling pain, i like how i managed to walk away from every single person that hurt me and how i remained strong enough to stay away from them to this day.

Removing memories would be good for dealing with addiction i think, to remove the memory of routines of the addiction being in your life and then replace that with better coping strategies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mr ddc

Maybe not mistakes but what about stuff that happened beyond your control?

There is stuff beyond my control?

You clearly don't appreciate how deep my OCD runs, nor the number of eventualities pre-planned on my spreadsheets.

Learning to come to terms with those things still colours your present, and makes us who we are."

Hypothetical stuff that could have happened to a person say being attacked or abused.

Think outside the norm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Mr ddc

Maybe not mistakes but what about stuff that happened beyond your control?

There is stuff beyond my control?

You clearly don't appreciate how deep my OCD runs, nor the number of eventualities pre-planned on my spreadsheets.

Learning to come to terms with those things still colours your present, and makes us who we are."

I have no knowledge of your OCC so perhaps don't take it too personal.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I have no knowledge of your OCC so perhaps don't take it too personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such an awesome film. I love films that make you think during and at the end.

I wouldn't alter anything from my past. No matter how devastating or embarrassing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great film.

I actually watched it recently for some perspective after meeting an ex.

There have certainly been times when I would have had it done without a flicker of doubt but I think you've just got to take the rough with the smooth and learn from things (situations/coping tools) or you're bound to repeat it.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"Hypothetical stuff that could have happened to a person say being attacked or abused.

Think outside the norm. "

I do have a couple of such things in my past, but they're not for the forum. I still think without them I would not have met Mrs ddc. And she is worth more than any bad memories that may linger, by a million miles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hypothetical stuff that could have happened to a person say being attacked or abused.

Think outside the norm.

You sly old dog hope she reads that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without memories, even of abuse, you lose empathy for other people in that situation. Not because you don't care but because you don't understand them.

This might actually be a good thing, in that you're less empathetic and less vulnerable. It also might mean you don't empathise with others who've been abused who would be a bad influence on you, and wouldn't tolerate their poor behaviour as much.

Would be interesting to find out how people change without their memories. I'd still keep mine, i can deal with them.

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