FabSwingers.com forum: Would you veri an ex partner?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, me and my ex split up about 4months ago, havnt spoken to each other till recently. We met on this site had a joint couple profile until we split up (not going to go into details of why)

So a few days ago he pop up with a message on here asking how I am, saying he's missed me etc etc. After a few days of talking thru what went wrong with the relationship and seemingly to get on up pops the "will u veri me on fab" question, now he's unverified so makes me question weather the reason he got bk intouch with me was just to get me to verify him!!

What would you do?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Do you want to verify him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verify him "real person" thats it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?"
if you want to verify him do if you don't then don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification."

This is what I'm thinking

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Verify him "real person" thats it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would veri them, they are the person they're proclaiming to be and i don't see why personal feelings should come into it.

They probably wanted some closure on the relationship, seeing you on here will have brought back some feelings. Unless you feel they're manipulative and were during the relationship? If you think they'll mess with other peoples heads then i wouldn't veri them.

My personal opinion. Do what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?"

This sounds worse. Is he on here to stalk you?

Or he's either lying about meeting (which makes him (a liar).

Both these things are bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Verify him "real person" thats it

It doesnt matter what she writes. He wants the green tick and just wont display it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is he genuine and a real person? If so that's what verifications are for aren't they ?

You're not verifying if he's a shit to live with, crap cook or sleeps with his socks on

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By *ony HardcockMan
over a year ago

Shepperton

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

This is what I'm thinking"

Remember OP men don't think! He may just of typed it to continue to chat to you! He might regret losing you looking at your picture I can't blame the man!!

Ladies I think you think to much it could be innocent.

The question is do you really want to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is he genuine and a real person? If so that's what verifications are for aren't they ?

You're not verifying if he's a shit to live with, crap cook or sleeps with his socks on"

Some people i've met on here i won't veri. They came across as people i wouldn't class as genuine, despite being the person in their pics. They lied about something and i wouldn't recommend them to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

This is what I'm thinking

Remember OP men don't think! He may just of typed it to continue to chat to you! He might regret losing you looking at your picture I can't blame the man!!

Ladies I think you think to much it could be innocent.

The question is do you really want to? "

I doubt it's innocent and decisions made he's not getting a green tick from me if he thinks it's gonna help him get laid!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Verify him "real person" thats it

It doesnt matter what she writes. He wants the green tick and just wont display it."

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

He's real so verify him as being real. You don't need to do anything more. Doing anything less seems unnecessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is he genuine and a real person? If so that's what verifications are for aren't they ?

You're not verifying if he's a shit to live with, crap cook or sleeps with his socks on

I'm glad i'm not the only one! I've met a few guys for socials i refused to beri either because they were lying about something or because they were super pushy and crass or they just gave me a really bad vibe. I wouldn't want another woman to meet them so i won't verify them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?if you want to verify him do if you don't then don't."

I think this too. If you want to just say you know he's who he says he is if you don't want to.....say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would veri my ex, but only because we're good friends and I can absolutely verify that he is a lovely, genuine decent bloke. If I felt he was using me for a veri I would dig my heels in stubbornly and refuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is he genuine and a real person? If so that's what verifications are for aren't they ?

You're not verifying if he's a shit to live with, crap cook or sleeps with his socks on

My first comment i had an ex in mind when i said i would do it (i've even aid he should join this site), but thinking more i did change my mind and wouldn't apply this to all my exes, or even all people.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nobody should verify anybody else unless they feel it's ok to say they are genuine, ex or not. It makes a mockery of the whole verification system and renders them pointless otherwise.

For the record we take them all with a huge pinch of salt even our own

but are honest in the ones we give.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"He's real so verify him as being real. You don't need to do anything more. Doing anything less seems unnecessary."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification."

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a word No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to *bury* my ex-partner...

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Hes a veri veri naughty boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope

I wouldnt verify anybody that I hadn't met through fab

I don't feel the verification system is ment for us to verify people we already know

All because I used to go out with somebody or know them from school does not mean I know them in a swinging way, or I can verify/confirm they will turn up, because for me they haven't, I already know them

so do feel I could verify them

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Lots of guys have ruses to get veri's, maybe I'm cynical now but the fact he asked is the clue....

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

well unless youve meet him as a swinger the no dont

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Decisions made he's not getting one, yes I met him on fab and we were a swinging couple but the fact he has yet to be verified makes me think that's the only reason he's getting in touch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I verified my ex husband when he joined this site. Slightly different scenario though, we are still good friends.

All depends on how comfortable you are with verifying him and his motivations for asking you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd veri without any thought. Relationships are emotional, but once they're done, I don't feel any emotions at all for the other person. If he was a decent bloke then why not veri?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give him the bennerfit of the doubt you can veri each other being each other's ex you should be able to sell each other with great depth giving other's a greater insight to the treat you might be for them , it's nice closure and a great way to show what you guys appreciated about each other in that department of the relationship . X

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By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

A lot of people see the tick and think ohh he's obviously ok if he has been verified.

That's not always the case. I personally think if you are truly over him and he's an OK guy then yes, go for it.

Don't let your feelings of the relationship linger. You've moved on, why not leave a brief, not gushing veri if it helps him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm 100% certain it's all about the tick, he won't display the veri anyway so made the decision to not give him one especially for the fact had no contact for around 4months, he pops up out of the blue and asks for a veri within the first hour of our conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verify he's a t**t and avoid him at all costs. Pmsl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, me and my ex split up about 4months ago, havnt spoken to each other till recently. We met on this site had a joint couple profile until we split up (not going to go into details of why)

What would you do?"

It's up to you really. You know how things were and are better than us. I see no harm from veri'ing exes (I've actually recommended fab to one) but that's because I know there's nothing more to it than helping them fulfill their wants and needs. The turning point is the comment about missing you. That indicates attachment, so I would be wary and never meet them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would lose my shit if any of my ex's popped up on here, I'm always the dumpee so I would be wondering why they wanted to look for fucks when they could've fucked me, then would have thoughts of not being good enough, then I would probably make fake profiles and head fuck them and mess them about until they left the site.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd verify someone, an ex or not, unless they'd done something terrible or were a risk to others. You don't have to praise them to the hilt, merely state that they are who they state they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would lose my shit if any of my ex's popped up on here, I'm always the dumpee so I would be wondering why they wanted to look for fucks when they could've fucked me, then would have thoughts of not being good enough, then I would probably make fake profiles and head fuck them and mess them about until they left the site. "

Note to self never get on the wrong side of this lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If I did verify him no one will see what I have had to say, pointless in my view. Just wants the tick so that's why I've decided against doing it

I did also give him the choice to verify me first and said I'd do it for him but that hasn't happened but I didn't think it would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds scary....

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we allowed to be totally honest in the veri?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did verify him no one will see what I have had to say, pointless in my view. Just wants the tick so that's why I've decided against doing it

I did also give him the choice to verify me first and said I'd do it for him but that hasn't happened but I didn't think it would "

You should do whatever you feel is right.

But I just wanted to note, I don't think he can verify you without being verified...

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, me and my ex split up about 4months ago, havnt spoken to each other till recently. We met on this site had a joint couple profile until we split up (not going to go into details of why)

What would you do?"

I personally wouldn't do it. There's many other ways they can get veri'ed.

Don't do it Hun!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm 100% certain it's all about the tick, he won't display the veri anyway so made the decision to not give him one especially for the fact had no contact for around 4months, he pops up out of the blue and asks for a veri within the first hour of our conversation "

Good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did verify him no one will see what I have had to say, pointless in my view. Just wants the tick so that's why I've decided against doing it

I did also give him the choice to verify me first and said I'd do it for him but that hasn't happened but I didn't think it would "

Question is are there feelings still involved? Would you be ok with him fucking other people? If it would make you feel bad then don't verify him, why make it easier for him to succeed on here fuck him you don't owe him anything.

If you're ok with him meeting other people and it wouldn't upset you to see that he has met people then let him have the veri tick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

This is what I'm thinking"

Apparently it's really difficult for guys to get veried and without a veri they have even less chance of a reply to a message.

So what if he messaged you just to ask for a veri. You know him. If he's not a total tool what harm would a simple 'yes he's real' do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?"

If he only wants the tick tell him to get photo verified... seems to me he just wants to see what you say about him and how you compliment him on it maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I verified my ex of 2.5 years on here. No biggie. but the impression I get from your post is that you aren't over him and you don't like the thought of him having sex with anyone else. if that's the case you're probably better blocking him and moving on rather than allowing contact on here and getting yourself worked up.

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By *icky999Man
over a year ago

warrington

"decent shag, leaves toilet seat up"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

This is what I'm thinking

Remember OP men don't think! He may just of typed it to continue to chat to you! He might regret losing you looking at your picture I can't blame the man!!

Ladies I think you think to much it could be innocent.

The question is do you really want to?

I doubt it's innocent and decisions made he's not getting a green tick from me if he thinks it's gonna help him get laid!"

So not bitter at all about the break up then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you want to verify him do if you don't then don't."

You don't need to do a review, but you could just say he is real, that will allow him to post on forums etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?"

So if he ain't meeting he doesn't actual need a veri!!

So your hunch maybe right...he does want meets!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or he just wants to chat for now and a lot of people will just delta messages from unverified

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He sounds charming! Don't let yourself be used for a verification.

This is what I'm thinking

Remember OP men don't think! He may just of typed it to continue to chat to you! He might regret losing you looking at your picture I can't blame the man!!

Ladies I think you think to much it could be innocent.

The question is do you really want to?

I doubt it's innocent and decisions made he's not getting a green tick from me if he thinks it's gonna help him get laid!

So not bitter at all about the break up then lol"

Not bitter at all just think he's got a cheek in the first place asking if that's the only reason he's contacted me in the first place

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The thing is if I do I doubt he will display it anyway, just wants it to show the tick, says he's not looking to meet anyone so why the need for me to verify him?

So if he ain't meeting he doesn't actual need a veri!!

So your hunch maybe right...he does want meets!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or he just wants to chat for now and a lot of people will just delta messages from unverified "

maybe so but my gut feeling is the opposite

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

If you're not comfortable with it, don't do it

You don't owe him anything.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

The simple answer is verify him if you want to

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's only a tick.....where is the harm?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only a tick.....where is the harm? "

Cause it means he's actually coping with the break up and moving on not a crushed wreck of a man?

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It's only a tick.....where is the harm?

Cause it means he's actually coping with the break up and moving on not a crushed wreck of a man?"

Good point

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've told him if he does me one al do him one, think that's fair. Still waiting....

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By *ony HardcockMan
over a year ago

Shepperton

"If I did verify him no one will see what I have had to say, pointless in my view. Just wants the tick so that's why I've decided against doing it

I did also give him the choice to verify me first and said I'd do it for him but that hasn't happened but I didn't think it would "

Reading more and more of your statements OP I would not veri him.

My judgment was early I wish you the best.

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By *ony HardcockMan
over a year ago

Shepperton

"I've told him if he does me one al do him one, think that's fair. Still waiting...."

He can't veri you till he has a veri!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I did verify him no one will see what I have had to say, pointless in my view. Just wants the tick so that's why I've decided against doing it

I did also give him the choice to verify me first and said I'd do it for him but that hasn't happened but I didn't think it would "

How can he veri you first. You need a verification in order to give one.

If he hasn't got the green tick he cannot verify you first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've told him if he does me one al do him one, think that's fair. Still waiting...."

It's also impossible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verify him and don't over think it.

You clearly have strong feelings for him still.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"if you want to verify him do if you don't then don't.

You don't need to do a review, but you could just say he is real, that will allow him to post on forums etc."

You can be unverified and still post on forums.

OP - it does seem as if he is just using you

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