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Selfish people

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I got some heartbreaking news today and I'm out of the country at the moment staying with a friend.

To cut a long story short she has a lot of issues and since I've been here I've constantly had to deal with her drama!

Every week there's a hysterical drama which usually ends up with her losing friends and me picking up the pieces!

So I got the awful news today that my 31yr old niece died she had downs syndrome and died in her sleep.

I have had a lot of death in my family over the past couple of years and am finding it very hard to swallow.

So I made a comment to her about making amends with her family because if she doesn't she will regret it.

This resulted in her having a screaming crying fit and shouting at me about not going there about the fact her family don't love her!

I haven't got the energy to deal with it so I have left the house wondering what the hell to do!

I'm lost for words!

I know this isn't really an appropriate subject for swingers site but I'm literally lost!

What would you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got some heartbreaking news today and I'm out of the country at the moment staying with a friend.

To cut a long story short she has a lot of issues and since I've been here I've constantly had to deal with her drama!

Every week there's a hysterical drama which usually ends up with her losing friends and me picking up the pieces!

So I got the awful news today that my 31yr old niece died she had downs syndrome and died in her sleep.

I have had a lot of death in my family over the past couple of years and am finding it very hard to swallow.

So I made a comment to her about making amends with her family because if she doesn't she will regret it.

This resulted in her having a screaming crying fit and shouting at me about not going there about the fact her family don't love her!

I haven't got the energy to deal with it so I have left the house wondering what the hell to do!

I'm lost for words!

I know this isn't really an appropriate subject for swingers site but I'm literally lost!

What would you do?

"
Awwww sweety your trying to deal with your own heartache over your family death and your friends wanting to make you feel guilty because youre not being her agony aunt just try and enjoy your break away ,all the other stuff will still be here when you get back x

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'd come home.

Sorry to hear of your loss. Very sad news and your friend should be supporting you, that's how friendship works.

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

I'd up and leave. I have a friend who is an alcoholic and every time I see her or speak to her everything I say gets brought back round to her.

It's exhausting. You need to put yourself first sometimes.

Sorry to hear about your niece. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seriously couldnt be dealing with all of the shit this woman has you dealing with every week...she is meant to be your friend but it seems one sided to me...it depends on how much you value her friendship...you need to sit and think about whether you really need her in your life..she sounds like a total nightmare!!..im sorry for your loss by the way xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw the thread title and thought you were trying to get my attention

In all seriousness, it really sucks when people don't take other people's feelings and circumstances into account when they interact with them. Your friend should have been more considerate.

Having said that, I have a very bad relationship with my brother. To the extent that we simply don't talk or communicate at all. This was my decision. When my father died, person after person from my family came up to me at his funeral and told me I needed to get over my issues with my brother before it was too late - that we only have eachother now. I wanted to punch every one of those people. They don't know my life, and my father's funeral was simply not the place for it.

So, in all honesty, I'm a bit torn regarding your question. Your friend should have been more understanding but you also shouldn't project your feelings onto her situation. You should both make up, as it is probably just down to emotions at the moment.

Sorry for the looooong post

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your neice .

The best advice I can offer is as soon as your able leave your "friends"home and horrible though it sounds cut all contact with her .she sounds like a professional victim and no one needs that in their lives x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a friend very similar to this and today she reached out to the mental health service for help. (I'm not saying your friend needs this kind of hell btw).

Her (my friend) had so many dramas in her life, everyday it is something new but do you know what, myself and the ex are the only ones that hang around to give her support and advice, even if she pushes it away, it's not nice to be told to piss off on occasions but sometimes there are special people in your life that you can't throw away, no matter if they are mixed up and not always the nicest of people.

I'm sorry for your loss and your friend hasn't acted in the best of ways over it, take your breathing space do what you need to do and you will probably get a text saying "I'm sorry" x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sometimes you need to put yourself first, I think this could be one of those times. Come home and be with your family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got some heartbreaking news today and I'm out of the country at the moment staying with a friend.

To cut a long story short she has a lot of issues and since I've been here I've constantly had to deal with her drama!

Every week there's a hysterical drama which usually ends up with her losing friends and me picking up the pieces!

So I got the awful news today that my 31yr old niece died she had downs syndrome and died in her sleep.

I have had a lot of death in my family over the past couple of years and am finding it very hard to swallow.

So I made a comment to her about making amends with her family because if she doesn't she will regret it.

This resulted in her having a screaming crying fit and shouting at me about not going there about the fact her family don't love her!

I haven't got the energy to deal with it so I have left the house wondering what the hell to do!

I'm lost for words!

I know this isn't really an appropriate subject for swingers site but I'm literally lost!

What would you do?

"

...hey poppins,

I'm not sure, you want to hear this and by no means are my views, tempered with wisdom or experience... You got to cut people lose sometimes... You've watched them do this to other people , while you were there, and it seems your held in no higher regard then them.

People say , ' every one deserves a second chance.' But surely you're just affording them the opportunity to fuck you over twice. .

Sorry to hear about your loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I got some heartbreaking news today and I'm out of the country at the moment staying with a friend.

To cut a long story short she has a lot of issues and since I've been here I've constantly had to deal with her drama!

Every week there's a hysterical drama which usually ends up with her losing friends and me picking up the pieces!

So I got the awful news today that my 31yr old niece died she had downs syndrome and died in her sleep.

I have had a lot of death in my family over the past couple of years and am finding it very hard to swallow.

So I made a comment to her about making amends with her family because if she doesn't she will regret it.

This resulted in her having a screaming crying fit and shouting at me about not going there about the fact her family don't love her!

I haven't got the energy to deal with it so I have left the house wondering what the hell to do!

I'm lost for words!

I know this isn't really an appropriate subject for swingers site but I'm literally lost!

What would you do?

"

Very sorry about your loss. With regards to your friend tread carefully. Your in a very bad place so emotions will be high. Best wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wise friend once told me...friends act like either radiators or drains.

Radiators recycle positive energy between you.

And drains just suck the energy out of you.

She sounds like a 'drain' friend to me, and that's not what you need right now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd cut ties and come home. I wouldn't consider this person a friend.

Sorry for your loss.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

So sorry to hear about ykur Niece.

Admittedly, I don't appreciate those sort of "you'll regret it" comments (I get them a lot regarding my relationship with my Dad), but having a selfish Bitch fit when she should know that you're in shock is a bit over the top.

To be honest, it sounds like she thrives on drama and is more hassle than she's worth.

I'd come home and seriously reconsider your friendship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In your shoes my priorities would be my own emotional well being and that of my family and relatives. I would then manage my boundaries accordingly.

Sorry to hear of your loss, best wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes you need to put yourself first, I think this could be one of those times. Come home and be with your family "

Sorry for your loss OP but

I totally agree with the above advice...

Sometimes you have to walk away, leave others to sort their own shit out and just do whats right for you...

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Sorry for your loss

I had a friend who was constant drama. It was draining, but I loved her and couldn't walk away. In the end I put distance between us but ultimately she decided to walk away from me.

I still miss her 2 years later, but my life is so much less stressful. Why have friends that constantly make your life harder?

Leave her to it, think of yourself and your family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd apologise for suggesting something that upset her, then i'd let her know you can't deal with her shit right now and need to deal with your own.

But i agree with other people on here, do what you want to do because you need that. If she really cares about you then she'll understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd move on. Life's too short to have your soul sucked out by someone like that. If she's using you as a crutch the kindest thing will be to leave her to stand on her own anyway.

Hugs OP. Do what's best for YOU. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like you've given more than you should.

Go home and be with your family.

Sorry for your loss

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