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What's your Zombie Plan?

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

following on from the zombie movie thread......

lets face it - there's 2 types of people in this world - those of us who have a plan for when the legions of the undead take over the earth and the rest of you, lets call you ....... dinner.

I'm going to make for the Marina and steal a yacht then head for an uninhabited island.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFLtUxncZcU

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Go upstairs. Zombies never go upstairs, Can't bend their knees, see?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the new sport would be zombie hunting and then zombie swinging, hang on we have some of those already

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By *lirty14uMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Someone would start up an Equal Rights for Zombies group, and they'd get all the benefits and council houses.... and you wouldn't be allowed to behead them with garden implements. Not like the old days...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

We live in a very rural location,we have already selected which house we would "appropriate".Sad i know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We live in a very rural location,we have already selected which house we would "appropriate".Sad i know! "

not sad at all, i know the motorbike, 4 x 4, garage, house and farmhouse that i would take over

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I have made detailed plans for Z Day.

'When there is no room left in hell, the dead shall walk the Earth'

I reckon it's pretty fucking full now so Z Day is imminent!

I think after long and hard deliberation I'm going to employ the 'Shaun Theory'. i.e. get a cricket bat, pool cue, a bunch of friends, Queen's greatest hits and head for the local!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and dont forget the lp collection

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I have a secret underground bunker, 12 years of stockpiled food, a cavalry sabre, an SA80 with under-slung grenade launcher, 8000 rounds of ammo and a blow up doll.

My plan is to catch the bus to my underground bunker then.... oh, hang on! ffs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps we could talk nicely to them and get them to join fab. Then while they're all in the forums moaning that they can't get a meet cos everyone blocks single male zombies we can all escape.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Perhaps we could talk nicely to them and get them to join fab. Then while they're all in the forums moaning that they can't get a meet cos everyone blocks single male zombies we can all escape. "

But would the lady zombies be any popular than the single male zombies?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think ive shagged a few already

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"think ive shagged a few already "

LOL haven't we all!

But on a serious note as this is a very serious subject, anyone genuinely concerned on how to protect themselves against the inevitable plague of zombie hordes should search Amazon for 'The Zombie Survival Guide'.

It's an enlightening book that takes the threat very seriously and covers every eventuality.

I'm not sure if it's meant to be serious but it scared me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember watching a harrowing cartoon type short film at school about an old couple who got caught in a nucleor attack. They hid under their kitchen table. Does anyone else remember this?

I always have loads of tinned food in and a very large kitchen table so I think I'm all good in case of attack.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just ordered it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember watching a harrowing cartoon type short film at school about an old couple who got caught in a nucleor attack. They hid under their kitchen table. Does anyone else remember this?

I always have loads of tinned food in and a very large kitchen table so I think I'm all good in case of attack. "

dont remember that, but do remember a film we were shown at school about the same thing, think it was in 3 parts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I "think" the film was called "Whistle in the wind" or something along those lines...

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"just ordered it "

Under a fiver and it just might save your life some day soldier!

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"I remember watching a harrowing cartoon type short film at school about an old couple who got caught in a nucleor attack. They hid under their kitchen table. Does anyone else remember this?

I always have loads of tinned food in and a very large kitchen table so I think I'm all good in case of attack. "

When The Wind Blows by Raymond Briggs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was little my dad was obsessed that we had to be prepared in case of the Russians attacking.

So we always had a case in the understairs cupboard that was packed.

My plan for the end of days is this..

I know where I will head for, I know which route I will ideally take and then which I will take if not. I have a bag ready at all times in the car for emergancies and in it is all things that I feel would be essential.

My dad taught me to always be prepared. I actually think if it happened from a virus I would be one to survive as I so rarely get ill.

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the kiddie! I was close....ish lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just ordered it

Under a fiver and it just might save your life some day soldier! "

will be stood at your side with my LP launcher

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

z-day is already upon us people every friday and saturday nite when the pubs n clubs come out unfortunately we're not allowed to behead them with lp's or cricket bats ...... Mores the pity lol

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I have a secret underground bunker, 12 years of stockpiled food, a cavalry sabre, an SA80 with under-slung grenade launcher, 8000 rounds of ammo and a blow up doll.

My plan is to catch the bus to my underground bunker then.... oh, hang on! ffs! "

Phew! That's that sorted. The bus company do a special open ticket I can keep in my wallet!! I was worried there was a flaw in my plan there!

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"I have a secret underground bunker, 12 years of stockpiled food, a cavalry sabre, an SA80 with under-slung grenade launcher, 8000 rounds of ammo and a blow up doll.

My plan is to catch the bus to my underground bunker then.... oh, hang on! ffs! "

The SA80 is a very poor choice of anti zombie firearm - its rate of fire is too high (it eats ammo) and its stopping power is relatively low - it is designed to wound and incapacitate the enemy in modern warfare - precicesly the opposite of what will stop a ravening undead flesh eater.

an old fashioned M1 carbine (the slightly newer selective fire version that allows for fully automatic fire for when you are in a tight spot is best) is the weapon of choice for the dedicated zombie slayer - accurate - powerful - simple so it doesnt jam often - decent rate of fire without an onerus ammunition carrying requirement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd make tracks to Scotland's Secret Bunker, just up the road from me... if it was good enough for Churchill it'll be fine for me to hide in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Zombie swinging would be good, probably couldnt do many meets though as some bugger would pull your cock or tits off wouldnt they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/12/10 19:58:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Zombie swinging would be good, probably couldnt do many meets though as some bugger would pull your cock or tits off wouldnt they "

That one way of getting rid of them :o)

I have an arsenal of weapons and cars that I know how to steal...and an island that I can legit take ownership of....I'm sorted

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"Zombie swinging would be good, probably couldnt do many meets though as some bugger would pull your cock or tits off wouldnt they

That one way of getting rid of them :o)

I have an arsenal of weapons and cars that I know how to steal...and an island that I can legit take ownership of....I'm sorted "

with the complete breakdown of law and order resulting from a zombie outbreak I dont think there would be too much point worrying about the legitimacy of taking over an island - but fuck it I'm with you! - I'll provide the boat, the seamanship, and the marksmanship, and you provide the guns ammo and island

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Zombie swinging would be good, probably couldnt do many meets though as some bugger would pull your cock or tits off wouldnt they

That one way of getting rid of them :o)

I have an arsenal of weapons and cars that I know how to steal...and an island that I can legit take ownership of....I'm sorted

with the complete breakdown of law and order resulting from a zombie outbreak I dont think there would be too much point worrying about the legitimacy of taking over an island - but fuck it I'm with you! - I'll provide the boat, the seamanship, and the marksmanship, and you provide the guns ammo and island"

Good lad- I shall take you up on that- and the island....is technically mine for the taking ....just makes it all the more fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

head for the local---------brewery though not pub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i already have things in place to deal with the situation.

come with me if you want to live!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"head for the local---------brewery though not pub."

Yeah, theres a brewery on my island

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"Someone would start up an Equal Rights for Zombies group,"

Just today I saw a P.E.T.Z. T shirt: People for the Ethical Treatment of Zombies

I think a blast to the head would be the most ethical!

I would be straight to the Wallace Monument-minutes from here, nice thick walls, thick doors, narrow stairs, & good sniping spots.Maybe a zip wire to Tescos too, Waterworld style

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"head for the local---------brewery though not pub.

Yeah, theres a brewery on my island "

fuck it - just marry me now

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

i would walk a wee bit faster.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago

I would give them my very best Medusa glare and turn them to dust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would wear a t shirt stating

" no brains here, so stroll on"

- and carry a shotgun just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would wear a t shirt stating

" no brains here, so stroll on"

- and carry a shotgun just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh god i need a game plan.... will watch the walking dead tonight and make sure i dont do what they do as they always end up being eaten

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"I have a secret underground bunker, 12 years of stockpiled food, a cavalry sabre, an SA80 with under-slung grenade launcher, 8000 rounds of ammo and a blow up doll.

My plan is to catch the bus to my underground bunker then.... oh, hang on! ffs!

The SA80 is a very poor choice of anti zombie firearm - its rate of fire is too high (it eats ammo) and its stopping power is relatively low - it is designed to wound and incapacitate the enemy in modern warfare - precicesly the opposite of what will stop a ravening undead flesh eater.

an old fashioned M1 carbine (the slightly newer selective fire version that allows for fully automatic fire for when you are in a tight spot is best) is the weapon of choice for the dedicated zombie slayer - accurate - powerful - simple so it doesnt jam often - decent rate of fire without an onerus ammunition carrying requirement.

"

The L85 A2, to give it its proper designation (the Heckler and Koch updated version) doesnt eat ammo, after all, who's finger is on the trigger?

If you keep your wits, neat little double taps to the head are easy at up to 100 metres, and a properly loaded mag doesnt jam that often, having fired over 5000 rounds in one week without a jamb I can vouch for that.

The M1 one, although a more powerful weapon does have a number of drawbacks, the first being it uses non nato standard ammo, and its higher calibre gives rise to "trigger flinch", which affects accuracy.

Another plus for the "plastic fantastic" is that the origional poster mentioned having an "UGLY" mounted, which can fire a variety of 40mm ammo, from traditional "shotgun" style shot ammo, to fletchettes, grenades and chemically tipped armour piercing.... surely this factor alone makes it the weapon of choice for the decerning zombie slayer?

Plus, and this is a big plus.... he's got a blow up dall, I call shotgun!!!

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

sthwales - you have a point there - most of the zombie defence literature available at present (which extols the virtues of the M1) is american and therefore does not take into account the scarcity of non-standard ammo outside of the states.

However the L85 is only ever going to available to non-military personnel outside the US (and even then it would be a semi-auto conversion) - whereas the M1 would (presumably) be available to an appropriately licenced civilian even in the UK - so while the L85 may be a superior weapon it isnt something that is realistically likely to fall into the hands of the average survivor of Z-Day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

come to canada all of the zombies would freeze lol

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"

....However the L85 is only ever going to available to non-military personnel outside the US ...."

I meant inside not outside

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I have a secret underground bunker, 12 years of stockpiled food, a cavalry sabre, an SA80 with under-slung grenade launcher, 8000 rounds of ammo and a blow up doll.

My plan is to catch the bus to my underground bunker then.... oh, hang on! ffs!

The SA80 is a very poor choice of anti zombie firearm - its rate of fire is too high (it eats ammo) and its stopping power is relatively low - it is designed to wound and incapacitate the enemy in modern warfare - precicesly the opposite of what will stop a ravening undead flesh eater.

an old fashioned M1 carbine (the slightly newer selective fire version that allows for fully automatic fire for when you are in a tight spot is best) is the weapon of choice for the dedicated zombie slayer - accurate - powerful - simple so it doesnt jam often - decent rate of fire without an onerus ammunition carrying requirement.

The L85 A2, to give it its proper designation (the Heckler and Koch updated version) doesnt eat ammo, after all, who's finger is on the trigger?

If you keep your wits, neat little double taps to the head are easy at up to 100 metres, and a properly loaded mag doesnt jam that often, having fired over 5000 rounds in one week without a jamb I can vouch for that.

The M1 one, although a more powerful weapon does have a number of drawbacks, the first being it uses non nato standard ammo, and its higher calibre gives rise to "trigger flinch", which affects accuracy.

Another plus for the "plastic fantastic" is that the origional poster mentioned having an "UGLY" mounted, which can fire a variety of 40mm ammo, from traditional "shotgun" style shot ammo, to fletchettes, grenades and chemically tipped armour piercing.... surely this factor alone makes it the weapon of choice for the decerning zombie slayer?

Plus, and this is a big plus.... he's got a blow up dall, I call shotgun!!!"

The choice of SA80 was based on 5.56mm ammo being somewhat more available and matching current British Army use. A controlled 3 round burst to the head would be sufficient to stop most zombies, failing that it's a frag grenade from the launcher.

Maybe a backup weapon using 9mm ammo would also be a wise decision as a lot of guns use this as well. A semi-auto shot gun would also prove invaluable I suspect.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"come to canada all of the zombies would freeze lol "

I've looked into this and the movie Dead Snow proves zombies can operate in the snow, not only that they run really fast

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Another essential is a few 'friends'. You can shoot them in the leg whenever your being pursued by a horde of zombies and this buys you valuable escape time.

A friend in need and all that...

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"Another essential is a few 'friends'. You can shoot them in the leg whenever your being pursued by a horde of zombies and this buys you valuable escape time.

A friend in need and all that... "

Glad I'm no pals wi you!!!!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"Another essential is a few 'friends'. You can shoot them in the leg whenever your being pursued by a horde of zombies and this buys you valuable escape time.

A friend in need and all that...

Glad I'm no pals wi you!!!!"

But I'd save you until last my sweet! xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live about 5 mins from the "secret" nuclear bunker in Essex, how ever should we get there and find ourselves locked out i have a mate ten minutes away who lives on a farm and has a concrete water tower right behind his house, ideal for fortifying, and obviously a good supply of fresh water.

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By *heekyScouse1980Man
over a year ago

liverpool

For surviving Z-Day, all you need is a chainsaw for lopping the buggers heads off, some fat friends who you can easily outpace and a local army or T.A. base, while the soldiers are still there they'll look after you and once they start getting eaten you can take the spare weapons and off you go lol

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth


"Another essential is a few 'friends'. You can shoot them in the leg whenever your being pursued by a horde of zombies and this buys you valuable escape time.

A friend in need and all that... "

For friends read "Your manager"?

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

I'll go with my longbow, crossbow and the other bits and pieces that 20 years of re-enactment has given me. The head down to the docks and find a crew who's cook has been eaten and sign on there. Then sit off the coast and wait until it's all over and find 'interesting' things to do with the sailors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But it's too late to say you're sorry

How would I know, why should I care

Please don't bother tryin' to find her

She's not there

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"sthwales - you have a point there - most of the zombie defence literature available at present (which extols the virtues of the M1) is american and therefore does not take into account the scarcity of non-standard ammo outside of the states.

However the L85 is only ever going to available to non-military personnel outside the US (and even then it would be a semi-auto conversion) - whereas the M1 would (presumably) be available to an appropriately licenced civilian even in the UK - so while the L85 may be a superior weapon it isnt something that is realistically likely to fall into the hands of the average survivor of Z-Day"

I am sure there will be a few (L85's) kicking about over here, I cant see many M1 Garands being common over here, and when weighing up the pro's and con's, having 30 rounds in the mag as oposed to a clip of 8 for the M1, plus the fact that M1 ammo is about twice the weight of the 5.56 round, I'd deffo have to go for the L85.

One point tho, you could always totally trump my L85 by claiming you meant the "other" M1.....the (M1A1) Abrahams tank lol!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

And.... anyway, if we are talking Yank weapons, why are they banging on about the M1, when they have the much more superior M14?

I know its a bit dated, but its very good weapon, so much so that the American Marines and Green Berets have now adopted it (with a tidy scope) as a "rugged" semi auto sniper weapon. It would deffo be my back-up choice, especially for ranges out past 600 metres.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

The choice of SA80 was based on 5.56mm ammo being somewhat more available and matching current British Army use. A controlled 3 round burst to the head would be sufficient to stop most zombies, failing that it's a frag grenade from the launcher.

Maybe a backup weapon using 9mm ammo would also be a wise decision as a lot of guns use this as well. A semi-auto shot gun would also prove invaluable I suspect.

Ok, now I reckon your 9mm back-up should be the good old HK MP5, with a fall back of the trusty Browning.... and as for shotguns, although I used the Baretta A303 semi-auto for a while, I would still go for the Franchi SPAS 12, 8 shot mag, choice of pump or semi-auto at the flick of a switch, proofed to accept 3 inch magnums too, nothing stops like a magnum sabot round lol.

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"..... especially for ranges out past 600 metres."

the rationale is that beyond 50m a zombie isnt a threat - sitting 100m+ away and sniping zombies just uses ammo that you will one day need in a tight spot - so good accuracy at long range simply isnt a consideration.

secondly, flight rather than fight should always be your very first concern and your primary strategy.

Stay in one spot for too long mowing down the legions of the undead that advance on you and sooner or later you will be flanked or be taken from the rear.

Take out the immediate threats and run.

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By *hite SnakeMan
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 14/12/10 10:48:23]

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By *hite SnakeMan
over a year ago

leeds


"I'd make tracks to Scotland's Secret Bunker, just up the road from me... if it was good enough for Churchill it'll be fine for me to hide in. "

Is that the one near Anstruther oops shouldnt have said that now its not a secret anymore.

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth


"I'd make tracks to Scotland's Secret Bunker, just up the road from me... if it was good enough for Churchill it'll be fine for me to hide in.

Is that the one near Anstruther oops shouldnt have said that now its not a secret anymore."

You mean the one in Fife that has signs up saying "Secret Bunker 3 miles"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

glad to read im not the only nut who has hatched up a plan incase zombies attack ,and to the op i will be at the marina before you sitting on the biggest yacht !!!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Come z-day there will be four kinds of people, zombies, zombies, people who have made a plan and zombies.

Think ahead! Don't join the undead!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

books just arrived, its brill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you know theres a sexie 13 zombie 2011 calender .. lol werid as hell x looked at that today for zombie lovers ,,

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By *obleton OP   Man
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures


"glad to read im not the only nut who has hatched up a plan incase zombies attack ,and to the op i will be at the marina before you sitting on the biggest yacht !!! "

but do you know how to sail it?

and even more importantly - do you know how to hotwire the lock gates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do sword fighting for a past time.

It's actually called Historical European martial arts or HEMA.

As such I have a quite large sword collection some are blunt competition and practise swords some are the real thing.

I'd enjoy the practice of Zombies rather than cutting up carpet role tubes and rolled up straw mats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope thats why i will be sitting on the biggest yacht and not sailing it lol

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