FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Relationship sex...

Jump to newest
 

By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

The thread last night about sexless marriage has really made me think.

Can you have really good sex with the same partner over a long period of time? And keep having it?

Obviously the answer to that is yes for many of you but how do you keep that going as time goes on? With work commitments, family life, chores and social stuff to deal with, do you still take time out for a date night or something similar? Setting a specific time for sex seems a little lacking in spontaneity but is that necessary?

There were lots of comments from people who are in relationships where there is no sex for whatever reason, it may be that it's fizzled but how do you relight that passion you once had? Is it possible?

I guess I figure the key is most likely communication but can you get it back once it's gone or is it too late by then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I, for one, will watch this thread with interest. Some good questions coming up recently.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Yes you can but funnily enough we've not had sex for a few weeks as lots of stuff happening and we need some serious us time, so thinking of going away week after next for a couple of days, not just to have sex but to have quality alone time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

But the same road twice... Nah. ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thread last night about sexless marriage has really made me think.

Can you have really good sex with the same partner over a long period of time? And keep having it?

Obviously the answer to that is yes for many of you but how do you keep that going as time goes on? With work commitments, family life, chores and social stuff to deal with, do you still take time out for a date night or something similar? Setting a specific time for sex seems a little lacking in spontaneity but is that necessary?

There were lots of comments from people who are in relationships where there is no sex for whatever reason, it may be that it's fizzled but how do you relight that passion you once had? Is it possible?

I guess I figure the key is most likely communication but can you get it back once it's gone or is it too late by then? "

I was in a long relationship to the mother of my children. Over 15 years.

We had great sex but never experimented much..As time went by it started getting repetitive and not really enjoyable. We talked about it, tried new things. Holiday's romance underware even asked if she'd like to swing. But just didnt work really, one was happy with the sex an the other not so.

In the end it drove us a part, we still love an care for eachother because weve brought up our lovely children but sexually theres nothing there anymore. I still miss an wish it could of been different an worked out..

Your threads got me thinking..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Brilliant question dirty....I do think you need to keep the sex alive and work at that part in a relationship as it can become boring and the same almost like the passion has gone out of it, I remember the beginning of the relationship fucking like rabbits to then go to once a week...sad thing is I really fancied him and he turned me on..I guess life got in the way..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riskygazMan
over a year ago

birmingham

I think it has to die off a bit over time, you will never get that excitement back from the early days, when you have done it with them more times than you can remember.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I feel that swinging has changed me I'm not sure I could have sex with just one person again...it may change if I met the right person.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I had two relationships with two very different outcomes. One was with a lovely guy, but the sex dwindled and died. By the time we parted we managed it about one a year, which was not enough for me. The second was with a guy who was excellent at sex and had as high a sex drive as me, but was a complete and utter arse by the end of it.

The reason why I avoid relationships now is because I doubt I will be able to find a bloke that isn't an arse and can still keep me satisfied in the long run.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When I was with my ex husband our sex life was fantastic, we where both quite young and did most of our adventures kinks and fantasies together, it was so good we carried on shagging for two years after we split up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are with the right person and you have the will to commit yourself both emotionally and sexually, then yes

I've had past relationships where the sex became monotonous and tbh neither I, nor them, had the will to change it.

So the sex went the same way as the relationship. Downhill.

In this relationship, the sex is great. It isn't every day, it isn't always a marathon event, it is rarely planned, but it is always great.

As it is, we have played with others (together) but both soon realised that, for us, there was no real desire to carry on down that route.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been able to relight the passion once it's gone. But that has mainly been because I didn't like the person anymore so I had no desire to have sex with them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'd just like to buck the trend and say ABSOLUTELY is it possible!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you totally can! Paul and I have been together almost 8 years and the sex is better than ever.

Don't get me wrong it's totally different sex to when we first got together. We used to go over and over again all night long, where as now its more of a once and all over.

But it's familier sex, we know what works for each other, what turns each other on, not afraid to experiment together.

However although it's familler we are always trying new things talking about fantasies and that's where the swinging comes in as well as it perks things up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never been able to relight the passion once it's gone. But that has mainly been because I didn't like the person anymore so I had no desire to have sex with them. "

That's a much better way of saying what I was trying to

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did always make time for sex with my longest termed ex partner, we had very compatible sex drives and were up for fucking each other any time. I believe this would help more than anything.

We never planned anything really, maybe tease each other about fucking later but nothing was actually planned.

We got on really well as a couple too, and were good friends (still are), and could talk to each other about anything. Sometimes if i didn't want sex and he did then he'd make little jokes and never make me feel pressured or guilty. He was also very affectionate outside of sex, this might have helped me feel sexually attracted to him, but i never felt pressured for sex when with him.

Out of the 11 years we were together we spent most of it with a good sex life, after we split up we did start having sex again but it wasn't the same and i put an end to it. It wasn't even adventurous sex most of the time either, just normal sex fingering, and oral sex with a bit of kinky stuff here and there.

The relationship wasn't perfect and feelings changed after we went through some stuff together, that's why we split. I didn't find it hard though to keep our sex life going while we were together though. And he knows what i'm up to now, i keep trying to get him to join this site lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I am not sure if we qualify yet as we have not been together too long, although friends we know from fab are interested that we are still together when we met on fab. Our vanilla life has taken over as we both work long hours, but I see Mr more than I did when I was dating him as we live together now. The sex is deeper and better as we know each other more and know what each other likes; we communicate and are more at ease (although to be honest, we were from the start, strangely so); we laugh more and are more relaxed, but mainly also because we have been through a lot of stuff together, not sexual, just life, we trust each other on all levels. Relationships in the past for me have been broken because my sex drive has remained huh but my partner's has not - I can't see this happening with black cop, because we do make time as we both need it. The only thing that does frustrate us is that we can't get out to play much these days .... that time will come again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but if I met the right woman id make sure our sex life was........well.......sexy. With or without this.

I find in my work colleagues and mates that relationships today are fragile purely because of the Internet and sites like this. If things go stale it's easy to stray away, if only for a few compliments and a pick me up. The key for me is to not let it go stale. Make the effort. Try things together. Because once you start picking from the forbidden tree it's so easy to end up with a crumble!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I was with the boys dad for nearly 20 years & the sex was great. Something like Fab would probably have been the next step for us both out of curiosity had he not decided to go it alone.

I've had 2 relationships since, both just under a year, but there was always something missing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, we have a great sex life, we know what works what doesn't and we are always trying new things and even after 13yrs We fancy each other more than ever.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I get bored easily. So a vanilla relationship doesn't suit me.

Having been married twice the sex got repetitive and boring.

At the time tho I never considered swinging.. Was horrified by the idea. Funny how things change

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omeoandJuliet69Couple
over a year ago

chester

We think the way to keep sex alive in a relationship is communication, not just talking but listening as well, not just talking about sex but everything.

If one or other of the people in a long term relationship does not feel valued and important to the other then it will have a negative impact on the relationship.

Being comfortable enough to discuss everything without fear of repercussions or judgement is important especially if you are looking at swinging or partaking in sexual behaviour outside what is considered by most people as normal.

If trying different things and being able to discuss it all afterwards in the cold light of day is imperative.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

....when your in a long term relationship sex just gets better the longer your with that person because you know what makes that person tick and know which buttons to press and when and you know what each other is confortable with.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's funny.. I'm single.. But you can feel a temperature change in the intensity when you get to know someone. For me, the key is to stay in that zone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't know from personal experience, despite a 13 year relationship. I don't doubt that it could happen for me at some point and it's heartening to hear from others that it is possible.

By the time my ex finally moved out we hadn't had sex in over a year. To be fair we had never really been sexually compatible but we stayed together so long because the friendship was awesome. We're still friends now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

For us the answer was marriage.

We married in 1980 and have good sex before and ever since.

We don't make time for sex but enjoy sex when and where we want it always spontaneous.

We can't advise how to re-kindle the passion as it has never died.

But then sex to us ranges from a cuddle after a long trying day when we are both to tired to keep our eyes open for one second longer to five or six hours of non stop fucking with everything in between.

As you say communication is key but communication does not just stop with talking action speak as load as words, a smile is often far better than a thousand words

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eLuv2PlayCouple
over a year ago

Alpena

Our sex life is still hot after being married more years than I will admit to. We have 5 kiddos, couple still home, life can be crazy.

We flirt, park, sexy,& the like, it keeps the spark going. Setting time aside for just us and being ready for a quickie when the opportunity presents itself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been together almost 20 years and our sex life is amazing! But it hasn't always been like that. As you say things can get in the way but we worked hard through tougher times and we always have a night for us once a week where we take it in turns to cook a nice meal and we eat, chat and fuck lol! We always go out once a month and we just keep trying out new ideas sexually.....hence what got us on here lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"The thread last night about sexless marriage has really made me think.

Can you have really good sex with the same partner over a long period of time? And keep having it?

Obviously the answer to that is yes for many of you but how do you keep that going as time goes on? With work commitments, family life, chores and social stuff to deal with, do you still take time out for a date night or something similar? Setting a specific time for sex seems a little lacking in spontaneity but is that necessary?

There were lots of comments from people who are in relationships where there is no sex for whatever reason, it may be that it's fizzled but how do you relight that passion you once had? Is it possible?

I guess I figure the key is most likely communication but can you get it back once it's gone or is it too late by then? "

So many questions I'll take them in order.

No, I don't think it's possible to have really good sex all the time over a long period of time with the same person. There will be some times when its mundane and while pleasurable it's boring, it's how you deal with it that ensures that you keep on having good sex as regularly as possible.

If you realise that work, family, illness, life, stuff will get in the way and impact on your sex life but that it will only have a lasting effect if you let it cause resentment or fail to remain loving towards each other and keep lines of communication open you should be ok.

I do believe that it is possible to rekindle passion but only if both people really want to and are prepared to work hard at it.

I don't think there's enough honesty in relationships I think that sometimes one partner will back off from total frankness for fear of rocking the boat or hurting their partner.

We've been together 35 years and we're still learning about each other, that's what keeps things fresh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irtyGirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"So many questions I'll take them in order.

No, I don't think it's possible to have really good sex all the time over a long period of time with the same person. There will be some times when its mundane and while pleasurable it's boring, it's how you deal with it that ensures that you keep on having good sex as regularly as possible.

If you realise that work, family, illness, life, stuff will get in the way and impact on your sex life but that it will only have a lasting effect if you let it cause resentment or fail to remain loving towards each other and keep lines of communication open you should be ok.

I do believe that it is possible to rekindle passion but only if both people really want to and are prepared to work hard at it.

I don't think there's enough honesty in relationships I think that sometimes one partner will back off from total frankness for fear of rocking the boat or hurting their partner.

We've been together 35 years and we're still learning about each other, that's what keeps things fresh "

Thank you... I do think that communication is absolutely the key. If something needs talking about then people should talk.

*ponders some more*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Gave up on sex in relationship in 1993 ..

Other than that relationship still on.

Guess for some it works.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes you totally can! Paul and I have been together almost 8 years and the sex is better than ever.

Don't get me wrong it's totally different sex to when we first got together. We used to go over and over again all night long, where as now its more of a once and all over.

But it's familier sex, we know what works for each other, what turns each other on, not afraid to experiment together.

However although it's familler we are always trying new things talking about fantasies and that's where the swinging comes in as well as it perks things up. "

Exactly this but we've been together 26 years and we've been through times were sex has been none existent almost for one reason or another but if you truly love someone you work through it, sex is only part of a relationship.....Our sex life lately has become amazing as I (Jane) seem to have reached my peak it seems and I'd say probably just as good if not better than it was when we first met xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thread last night about sexless marriage has really made me think.

Can you have really good sex with the same partner over a long period of time? And keep having it?

Obviously the answer to that is yes for many of you but how do you keep that going as time goes on? With work commitments, family life, chores and social stuff to deal with, do you still take time out for a date night or something similar? Setting a specific time for sex seems a little lacking in spontaneity but is that necessary?

There were lots of comments from people who are in relationships where there is no sex for whatever reason, it may be that it's fizzled but how do you relight that passion you once had? Is it possible?

I guess I figure the key is most likely communication but can you get it back once it's gone or is it too late by then?

So many questions I'll take them in order.

No, I don't think it's possible to have really good sex all the time over a long period of time with the same person. There will be some times when its mundane and while pleasurable it's boring, it's how you deal with it that ensures that you keep on having good sex as regularly as possible.

If you realise that work, family, illness, life, stuff will get in the way and impact on your sex life but that it will only have a lasting effect if you let it cause resentment or fail to remain loving towards each other and keep lines of communication open you should be ok.

I do believe that it is possible to rekindle passion but only if both people really want to and are prepared to work hard at it.

I don't think there's enough honesty in relationships I think that sometimes one partner will back off from total frankness for fear of rocking the boat or hurting their partner.

We've been together 35 years and we're still learning about each other, that's what keeps things fresh "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel that swinging has changed me I'm not sure I could have sex with just one person again...it may change if I met the right person. "

I think the swinging on top of sex with a partner just helps add spice.

Gives that extra dimension.

During my long break from here our sex life really suffered.

But then that was also down to me losing my mojo.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top