FabSwingers.com forum: Too shallow?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to him and express your concerns

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By *ark074Man
over a year ago

nottingham

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

He is committing a crime against nature by not satisfying you.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

No - you are not selfish or shallow. Sometimes couples have mismatched libidos.

If you asked him - would he give you permission to play away/get a FB?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

I for one feel sorry for you in that position...could i ask who instigates the FF/M you or him xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certainly not petal talk to him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have come to the right place op, you will have loads of sex from here lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

No not shallow at all just you have needs and desires as does he. If you have tried FFM is he comfortable with the idea of MMF? An open communication between you both will be key and then you can both moved forward together. Good luck I hope the talk works out for you both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

Maybe he's got too used to ffm threesomes and finds one on one sex not exciting anymore, you need to voice your concerns and refrain from bringing others into your bed until you are as one again or it might end up splitting you both apart.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We've spoke about it a few times... He gets offended that I think he's not attracted by me anymore... I don't like arguing so we just leave it unresolved. When we do have sex he'll talk about us trying all different things but that only lasts till we fuck - when I ask him about it after that he's brushes off the subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've spoke about it a few times... He gets offended that I think he's not attracted by me anymore... I don't like arguing so we just leave it unresolved. When we do have sex he'll talk about us trying all different things but that only lasts till we fuck - when I ask him about it after that he's brushes off the subject.

You have a valid point to ask why and he should be man enough to answer honestly and seems one way traffic with him enjoying ffm, how about you being able to have a mmf for a change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just try to keep on talking....i know i went through the same thing with my ex wife..it split us up in the end...i wish now id had spoke more to her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You have a valid point to ask why and he should be man enough to answer honestly and seems one way traffic with him enjoying ffm, how about you being able to have a mmf for a change."

He works very hard and I appreciate that. He says he's tired and I get that too. That's why I think I'm selfish and shallow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just try to keep on talking....i know i went through the same thing with my ex wife..it split us up in the end...i wish now id had spoke more to her

I'm sorry to hear that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a valid point to ask why and he should be man enough to answer honestly and seems one way traffic with him enjoying ffm, how about you being able to have a mmf for a change.

He works very hard and I appreciate that. He says he's tired and I get that too. That's why I think I'm selfish and shallow "

Sounds like excuse to me, my man works hard long days but finds time for intimate moments and also given me my fantasy of a mmf, but we talk to each other lots and have boundaries we don't cross. He should respect you more to give you a honest answer as it's not fair on you thinking it's your fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just try to keep on talking....i know i went through the same thing with my ex wife..it split us up in the end...i wish now id had spoke more to her

I'm sorry to hear that x"

Thank you...but just try to talk to him...i think you have been given some good avdice...stop until you have sorted out your problems xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a valid point to ask why and he should be man enough to answer honestly and seems one way traffic with him enjoying ffm, how about you being able to have a mmf for a change.

He works very hard and I appreciate that. He says he's tired and I get that too. That's why I think I'm selfish and shallow "

No you have been honest with him from the start and you have done the right thing in holding back from anything else here until you know 100% in your own mind what is going on. We all work hard and tiredness really should not be an excuse as that is nothing a short power nap would not sort out. Will have my fingers crossed for you though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

it just always seems that I chase after him - I can't even remember last time he took the initiative to have sex with me... 10 years is a long time and I understand that things can get a bit repetitive and I do try to spice things up but I don't get nothing in return... I know it's just sex and there's far more important things in life...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's only as shallow as anyone might perceive sexual satisfaction to be.

Id cut the misdirection of superficiality out - that's a valued judgment.

It all boils down to what you want and agree to. Relationship rules can be discussed and revised at any point, irrespective of what's happened before.

When you realise that you need something different, you just have to figure it out and negotiate from there. It's your relationship and rules. As well as your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"
you're so shallow I can't even get my soles wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

then you need to alter your way of doing things...just to see how he reacts with it...but im afraid after being married for such a longtime...its a fact in most couples lives that it happens..its called taking each other for granted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's only as shallow as anyone might perceive sexual satisfaction to be.

Id cut the misdirection of superficiality out - that's a valued judgment.

It all boils down to what you want and agree to. Relationship rules can be discussed and revised at any point, irrespective of what's happened before.

When you realise that you need something different, you just have to figure it out and negotiate from there. It's your relationship and rules. As well as your life."

This is very true, thanks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He needs to understand this is important to you as its a relationship where you should have equal share of things that you both want and desire. its not a small thing its a thing that you both need to connect more often.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"He needs to understand this is important to you as its a relationship where you should have equal share of things that you both want and desire. its not a small thing its a thing that you both need to connect more often. "

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling."

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it "

Well have you thought if turning the tap of so to speak. If you hold out for a while longer and he will start to think about it. If you do all the go getting maybe he has got used to you taking the lead in things. But if you can resist and I pray it does not take too long for you for him to think about starting to make demands and make you feel desired and not like something he has to do once a month.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner "

You dont have to fight about it...but what you do need to be is grown up and not stubborn...i include both of you in that xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me "

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me "

Try talking as well as this will help. I'm off to bed but god luck with everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you're not shallow at all... We all need to feel and be loved (men as well!), of which, during a relationship, sex forms part of the feeling of being desired. I do agree that sometimes, libidos can be mismatched - ask couples who have kids (particularly when the kids are little) - many couples report their sex lives going from 'feast to famine'. Try having a weekend away, where you can have some fun, but also some private time, and be honest with him. There may be a valid reason,(stress, tired, unable to keep a hardon, etc etc) and blokes are the worst for hiding their heads in the sand and not wanting to admit a problem. Hope you get your spark back xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner

You dont have to fight about it...but what you do need to be is grown up and not stubborn...i include both of you in that xx"

It will end up with an argument for sure but will have to speak about it ... Just I'm not good at talking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse. "

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Try talking as well as this will help. I'm off to bed but god luck with everything. "

Thank you! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner

You dont have to fight about it...but what you do need to be is grown up and not stubborn...i include both of you in that xx

It will end up with an argument for sure but will have to speak about it ... Just I'm not good at talking "

But hes your partner...if you cant talk to him...then you cant talk to anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner

You dont have to fight about it...but what you do need to be is grown up and not stubborn...i include both of you in that xx

It will end up with an argument for sure but will have to speak about it ... Just I'm not good at talking "

Well if you don't feel comfortable talking writing a letter to him explaining every thing is an option so he can read and digest what you want. You have explained yourself really well in written form here so it might be and option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Exactly. I've had exes and men I've dated do it to me. It could've been fixed with a chat and a change in approach, but instead they fucked up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally spot on, you are being taken for granted, your doing what you can to please him but he's not giving anything back, you really need a serious chat together, maybe even counseling.

I'll have to speak to him about it but can't handle a fight - somehow it always turns to be my fault and I can't fight my corner

You dont have to fight about it...but what you do need to be is grown up and not stubborn...i include both of you in that xx

It will end up with an argument for sure but will have to speak about it ... Just I'm not good at talking

what a good suggestion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Thank you, we'd definitely talk but I might just wait and see how bad it really is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Thank you, we'd definitely talk but I might just wait and see how bad it really is. "

I don't understand why you'd let things get worse if you want to fix them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Thank you, we'd definitely talk but I might just wait and see how bad it really is.

I don't understand why you'd let things get worse if you want to fix them. "

Sometimes you cant fix things...but if you dont talk then you will never know...i actually feel sorry for you...i had the very same feelings with my ex wife...she went off sex with me as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Thank you, we'd definitely talk but I might just wait and see how bad it really is.

I don't understand why you'd let things get worse if you want to fix them.

Sometimes you cant fix things...but if you dont talk then you will never know...i actually feel sorry for you...i had the very same feelings with my ex wife...she went off sex with me as well

There's no shame in ending the marriage if the compatibility has gone, but something doesn't sit right with me when one partner exacerbates the situation when they should be trying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't say on your profile that your starched, you give the opinion your single, no verifications in 6 months? Guessing your fairly happy at home?

Maybe have hubby help you with your profile and mention he is happy for you to play away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

It cost me my marriage playing games like that...my advice is to talk

Thank you, we'd definitely talk but I might just wait and see how bad it really is.

I don't understand why you'd let things get worse if you want to fix them.

Sometimes you cant fix things...but if you dont talk then you will never know...i actually feel sorry for you...i had the very same feelings with my ex wife...she went off sex with me as well

There's no shame in ending the marriage if the compatibility has gone, but something doesn't sit right with me when one partner exacerbates the situation when they should be trying

I think unloved and taken for granted springs to mind here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All your advices and suggestions have been great! I can't thank you enough for the understanding... I'll think things through and will talk to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All your advices and suggestions have been great! I can't thank you enough for the understanding... I'll think things through and will talk to him. "

Well i for one hope you sort things out..good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All your advices and suggestions have been great! I can't thank you enough for the understanding... I'll think things through and will talk to him.

Well i for one hope you sort things out..good luck x

Thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

Shallow in what way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

Shallow in what way?"

In a way that I demand sex more often when he's working so hard to provide for us to have a comfortable lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your husband happy with you fucking other men? As you have recently met single guy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is your husband happy with you fucking other men? As you have recently met single guy."

No, he isn't but he has played solo too (although not for a while, or at least hadn't told me about it).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice would be for both of you to stop fucking other people to start with.

Sit down and talk about your feelings and problems etc, and go from there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My advice would be for both of you to stop fucking other people to start with.

Sit down and talk about your feelings and problems etc, and go from there. "

Good advice, thank you. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you considered interrupting your kitching duties early one night and offering to orally copulate with him before the Port and Cheese course?

I am aware this goes against dining tradition but when desperate one has to be willing to attempt the extraordinary.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you considered interrupting your kitching duties early one night and offering to orally copulate with him before the Port and Cheese course?

I am aware this goes against dining tradition but when desperate one has to be willing to attempt the extraordinary. "

Not really, the kids would be quite shocked at the _iew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice would be for both of you to stop fucking other people to start with.

Sit down and talk about your feelings and problems etc, and go from there.

Good advice, thank you. X"

You're welcome. The worst thing you can do is not talk to him for being afraid you will upset him. He NEEDS to know how you are feeling about this. X

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me "

I tried that with my ex.. Gave up after 6 months...

Communication is the answer, maybe even specialist help like relate. Nip it in the bud

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll try x

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By *akesupforitMan
over a year ago

coventry

wait a minute, he doesn't wanna have sex with you? id be questioning his sexuality not your shallowness lol.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"wait a minute, he doesn't wanna have sex with you? id be questioning his sexuality not your shallowness lol."

Why would you question his sexuality do you know the man? Met the man? Maybe it's not even his problem maybe it's all the OP fault but because she has tits and a flange the response is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Sorry but if a man had posted this he would have his penis stuffed in his gob...but for what it's worth maybe talk to your husband and discuss like adults the situation or decide if it's worth staying in a marriage that looks to me is a marriage of convenience at the moment.

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By *akesupforitMan
over a year ago

coventry

it was a joke, and a compliment to OP. calm down, and get off your high horse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually hate it when people say "if it were a man posting this he'd be flamed for it" but this thread is a prime example, even down to some of the individuals posting.

My advice OP is the same as it would be to any man, do what you feel you need to do for your relationship, because none of us know your circumstances or what's best, only you do. Hope things work out for you

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

What you both need is a change of scenery/environment away from the norm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something. "

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/15 15:42:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/15 15:43:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat. "

Isn't it funny how when men ask how to get their wife's interested in sex its all his fault, maybe she's tired, maybe he's not giving her enough attention etc but when it's a woman asking its still the man's fault maybe he's gay, maybe he's ill

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By *akesupforitMan
over a year ago

coventry

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

I don't understand why so many cheaters on here don't talk to their partners. It's absurd they'd rather deceive them and fuck someone else instead. Don't know why any of them chose to be in a relationship which they clearly can't maintain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

I agree totally with your first sentence and was going to write it myself, but people never listen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

Women can still have sex if they have physical problems, they can use lube, but men can't have sex if they can't get hard. I'm not being sexist here. Was just offering an option she might not have thought about.

I didn't even see the topic as asking for permission to cheat either, she's not happy with her sex life and asking opinions. If she is asking for permission to cheat then it's not blatant or obvious to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

The OP contains the sentence "I need more". She means she needs sex elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is working hard, he could be under stress, stress is one of the main causes for loss of libido, you d need to talk to him though or it may only get worse

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

Talk to him....He is the only one who knows why he doesn't feel like sex.

I know both Mr B and I have gone through spells where one of us has lost interest in sex for a while. There has always been an underlining reason...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

The OP contains the sentence "I need more". She means she needs sex elsewhere."

Or maybe, she mean she needs more sex with him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

The OP contains the sentence "I need more". She means she needs sex elsewhere."

What I mean is I need more intimate time with my husband, that's the point of this post. I thought it was obvious. I have plenty of offers on here but that's not what I'm looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

The OP contains the sentence "I need more". She means she needs sex elsewhere.

What I mean is I need more intimate time with my husband, that's the point of this post. I thought it was obvious. I have plenty of offers on here but that's not what I'm looking for. "

You have also said you have played alone and your husband isn't happy about it. That doesn't sound like you had permission.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

I have no idea based on one side of the the story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's so stressed how about making life easier for him. Run him a bath when he gets home from work, maybe a massage, maybe a bit of oral with no expectations in return.

Stop talking about sex and adding others in your relationship and re-cement your relationship spend non sexual time, kissing and cuddling. It's really important you have a solid relationship before entering this lifestyle.

Relationships are really hard, family's and jobs get in the way. Paul and I try and do little things to help each other along the way as we both have demanding jobs and work shifts.

However quickies before work set you up for the day rather than having to find the energy in the evening after a stressfull day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship. If one person isn't feeling right in the bedroom, then things aren't right in the living room either. If you are feeling like you can't talk to him without it becoming an argument I'd suggest writing it down in a letter to him.

I'd also refrain from any swinging until you are both comfortable with each other again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if he's got something medically wrong with him? Like ED or something.

Then she ought to get permission to play away and not cheat.

The OP contains the sentence "I need more". She means she needs sex elsewhere.

What I mean is I need more intimate time with my husband, that's the point of this post. I thought it was obvious. I have plenty of offers on here but that's not what I'm looking for.

You have also said you have played alone and your husband isn't happy about it. That doesn't sound like you had permission. "

He knows about it but isn't happy with it. She seems to be aware and isn't playing, possibly coz her husband isn't happy. I guess people can read things how they want to?

I like the advice about taking a break and more concentrating on him for a while so he's not as stressed OP. I'll add get someone else involved who might know how to handle your problems, like a relationship counselor (not sure if anyone else advised this).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all, I've made a decision and your answers helped a lot. I'll leave fabs while I try sort this out... Thank you all xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all, I've made a decision and your answers helped a lot. I'll leave fabs while I try sort this out... Thank you all xxx"

Good luck to you both

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks all, I've made a decision and your answers helped a lot. I'll leave fabs while I try sort this out... Thank you all xxx

Good luck to you both

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all, I've made a decision and your answers helped a lot. I'll leave fabs while I try sort this out... Thank you all xxx"

It's a good decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These posts always bring out the swinging puritans; those that can justify their own lifestyle but can't accept others may want to find an alternative way to maintain their relationship without upsetting their domestic applecart.

I always thought swinging was about tolerance, NSA and no questions asked. Live how you want to live!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

I have no idea based on one side of the the story"

Half naked female. Read the other males' replies.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x

I have no idea based on one side of the the story

Half naked female. Read the other males' replies.

exactly......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ops, did she get by caught by hubby? lol.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

She said she was leaving to sort it with her husband in an earlier post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah yes she did. Didn't see that one.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Here's the thing - me and Mr are happily married, we have it all going for us. We do now and again have ffms which is great

but the rest of the time he's not as interested in having sex with me. I love him but I need more - there's only so much I can do with my toys. Am I too selfish and shallow? Throw it at me guys x"

I'd leave this site if I were you.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

But slow there, wasn't I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse. "
someone threw it at her so hard she left ,you people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't think he's that interested in sex anymore... I don't want him to take it as a chore that he has to do but it feels like it

That's a very good point! I might do that... I'll see how long it takes him to actually want me

Why play games? This is your marriage.

Talk it out, don't make it worse.

someone threw it at her so hard she left ,you people

She left coz she knows what she wants and thinks leaving will help her with that. Good on her, hope it goes well.

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