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Hung up!%##

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How long is acceptable to be hung up on a guy? Any fast track tips to move your head along and stop comparing everyone to the previous person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How long is acceptable to be hung up on a guy? Any fast track tips to move your head along and stop comparing everyone to the previous person?"

Is this the same guy its been for months already?

if so last we heard he had got in touch with you, what happened?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

For me, I won't consider anyone else until I have the last one out of my system and back on a normal keel again. With my ex husband it took seven years ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How long is acceptable to be hung up on a guy? Any fast track tips to move your head along and stop comparing everyone to the previous person?"

As soon as you've kicked him out the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The quickest way to get over the last one is move on to the next...

Well, it's always worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you like him that much tell him how you feel and see where it goes

unless hes done you some major wrong previously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took me about 2.5 years to find someone after my ex. We were together a very long time so I suppose that contributed to the "time off" I took.

I used to think I'd marry my ex, but strangely we never spoke about the future. I actively discuss the future with my current partner, and it seems like it will actually happen. It's moved very quickly though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are no rules, it's when your subconscious decides its over. I see it all as neurons firing away, but way to get over it is find a sexier guy who have a connection with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yeah it's the same guy from months ago!

My ex I was with for 10 years we split in 2009 but have a child together so he's still had to be in my life and in contact, it's only this last year that I've felt completely neutral about him.

The guy I'm still pining for was only a short fling which lasted 4 months last year and that was only seeing him every weekend fri-sun but messaging and talking on the phone every day in between.

He left in September, came back at Xmas and messaged saying he was back and said merry Xmas and all that shit, then he went again in January and came back early may, contacted me again saying he was back, I met him for a coffee but think it was more for him to show off his new car and interrogate me if I've been with anyone else (I hadn't) I said to him then, why contact me (after previously him saying best not to see each other again) He just said he wanted to see how I was and said maybe he shouldn't have contacted me then and I said if you still feel the same as before then no you shouldn't have. He knew I liked him I told him before he went that I'd only see him again if he wanted something permanent and he just gave the same old bull shit spiel about not wanting a gf till he's left his job in another 6 years!

Don't even know what I'm rambling about now, nothing's ever gonna come of him, haven't heard off him since June when he wished me happy birthday, but he's still in the uk cos I check his whatsapp all the time! Just not in a mood to message any other guys or not interested in meeting anyone else. I fester and dwell on things for far too long, and even when I know what I'm supposed to do I can't do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the ex who you compare everyone else with?

If it's that one perhaps you need to speak to someone to help get over him. Otherwise your never going to move on and all the people you meet in life will be having to live up to him and not on their own merits.

I'm pretty sure with your niche bedroom skills you could find someone.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you delete his whataspp and find other things to occupy your mind it might help , as others have said, there is no time limit to these things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah it's the same guy from months ago!

My ex I was with for 10 years we split in 2009 but have a child together so he's still had to be in my life and in contact, it's only this last year that I've felt completely neutral about him.

The guy I'm still pining for was only a short fling which lasted 4 months last year and that was only seeing him every weekend fri-sun but messaging and talking on the phone every day in between.

He left in September, came back at Xmas and messaged saying he was back and said merry Xmas and all that shit, then he went again in January and came back early may, contacted me again saying he was back, I met him for a coffee but think it was more for him to show off his new car and interrogate me if I've been with anyone else (I hadn't) I said to him then, why contact me (after previously him saying best not to see each other again) He just said he wanted to see how I was and said maybe he shouldn't have contacted me then and I said if you still feel the same as before then no you shouldn't have. He knew I liked him I told him before he went that I'd only see him again if he wanted something permanent and he just gave the same old bull shit spiel about not wanting a gf till he's left his job in another 6 years!

Don't even know what I'm rambling about now, nothing's ever gonna come of him, haven't heard off him since June when he wished me happy birthday, but he's still in the uk cos I check his whatsapp all the time! Just not in a mood to message any other guys or not interested in meeting anyone else. I fester and dwell on things for far too long, and even when I know what I'm supposed to do I can't do it. "

I don't want to come across as horrible in any way as I don't mean to if it is does.

I know its hard, but you really need to get over him. He is only interested when its suits by the sound of it and he has said he doesnt want a gf for a 6 years. No doubt you will find out before then he has got one. You have wasted enough time and energy on him already and its clearly hindering you from meeting anyone else.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Yeah it's the same guy from months ago!

My ex I was with for 10 years we split in 2009 but have a child together so he's still had to be in my life and in contact, it's only this last year that I've felt completely neutral about him.

The guy I'm still pining for was only a short fling which lasted 4 months last year and that was only seeing him every weekend fri-sun but messaging and talking on the phone every day in between.

He left in September, came back at Xmas and messaged saying he was back and said merry Xmas and all that shit, then he went again in January and came back early may, contacted me again saying he was back, I met him for a coffee but think it was more for him to show off his new car and interrogate me if I've been with anyone else (I hadn't) I said to him then, why contact me (after previously him saying best not to see each other again) He just said he wanted to see how I was and said maybe he shouldn't have contacted me then and I said if you still feel the same as before then no you shouldn't have. He knew I liked him I told him before he went that I'd only see him again if he wanted something permanent and he just gave the same old bull shit spiel about not wanting a gf till he's left his job in another 6 years!

Don't even know what I'm rambling about now, nothing's ever gonna come of him, haven't heard off him since June when he wished me happy birthday, but he's still in the uk cos I check his whatsapp all the time! Just not in a mood to message any other guys or not interested in meeting anyone else. I fester and dwell on things for far too long, and even when I know what I'm supposed to do I can't do it.

I don't want to come across as horrible in any way as I don't mean to if it is does.

I know its hard, but you really need to get over him. He is only interested when its suits by the sound of it and he has said he doesnt want a gf for a 6 years. No doubt you will find out before then he has got one. You have wasted enough time and energy on him already and its clearly hindering you from meeting anyone else."

Amen

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Delete his number and what's app and stop checking it, it's clearly doing your head in so why do something to purposely that does your head in. It's clear he doesn't want you why waste time on someone that doesn't want you, you may then miss an opportunity to meet someone that does want you..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Delete his number and what's app and stop checking it, it's clearly doing your head in so why do something to purposely that does your head in. It's clear he doesn't want you why waste time on someone that doesn't want you, you may then miss an opportunity to meet someone that does want you.."

Out if sight out of mind. If you keep comparing men to him. You need to start thinking of the negative he did. Annoying habits? Situations? Surround yourself with friends and activities.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think if you recognise that you need a break from him, irrespective of getting anyone else - and I remember him from before - then it's about you taking the action.

This would mean that decision first and foremost to have nothing to do with him. As good as some of his qualities may be, if it's not a healthy relationship for you, and he's not in the right place for one with you, then several all ties.

Don't check the whatsapp etc to see where he is. You will have decided he's gone from a meaningful part in your life, so wherever he is, whatever he's doing, it's not beneficial to know.

If you hear from him, then keep it light and breezy, as if he's like someone that you once shared some time with, but doesn't figure in your life anymore. It will give him the message that you're not to be played with.

Then it's about your feelings and beliefs in what's possible readjusting. It's not likely to happen all in one go - it's going to be a bit like grieving, where we process things in chunks.

Look to fill your life with lots of things that are good for you. This doesn't just mean the most incredible sex and fun - if you even fancy it. If you create and sustain a life that is satisfying, then you are more resilient and healthy, and likely happier too. But grieving does have some pain, as those of us who've lost close people know only too well.

There won't be a magic time, by which it's all great and it's time to look for a date again. You'll become more aware over time that you're seeing things differently.

I'm less of the mindset that it'll pay for you to throw yourself into meeting great guys to date. I think if we've unfinished business, it's worth it to allow our emotional and psychological energies to be free to heal up what's lingering. Others disagree - and I don't know you, only you can.

In the meantime, treat yourself regularly, so that you're loving yourself, as you deserve to be.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

'several all ties' above, meant sever all ties. Quick typing at play here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is for you Seawitch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0MK7qz13bU

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it differs, the amount of time you spend with someone isn't a reflection on the amount of time it'll take you to get over them. I had a really passionate six month thing with someone, we parted on good terms and severed all ties. It still took me seven months to get over him, and it's been fifteen months since I saw him now but sometimes I catch myself thinking about him and it makes me sad, for a moment. But time is definitely a healer *hugs for the OP*

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"If you delete his whataspp and find other things to occupy your mind it might help , as others have said, there is no time limit to these things "

I would agree with that, time can heal and help you get over someone but the time period will be different for each person. Took me years to get over one of my ex's but got over it eventually, I just look back on it now and think why did I waste all that time when I could have been out having fun and enjoying myself. Seawitch hope things start to feel better soon.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"The quickest way to get over the last one is move on to the next...

Well, it's always worked for me "

Only way I can do it normally - you have to force yourself to meet people sometimes, and then suddenly 'whack' and it's 'Got over who?'

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Agree with many of the above. sever all ties. part of the attraction seems to be that you can't have him. Definitely block or lose the whatsapp link, as you cannot be continually doing that and remaining sane. Then take time for you ...dont find someone to replace anyone or move on to the next one, until you are ready to be just you. No one should need anyone to feel whole, and when you feel better about yourself, you will attract what you need and deserve. You deserve the best now, but take time to heal first

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