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Why are (nearly) all (of) the hot men married or make no effort?

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seriously need to know the contents of hot guy from last nights status....feel free to message me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't take offence to this but maybe it's just because you b are not what they are looking for? X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Please don't take offence to this but maybe it's just because you b are not what they are looking for? X"

Uh, they message me. I decline for the reasons given.

How did you read my post and get the idea it's them declining to meet me?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I seriously need to know the contents of hot guy from last nights status....feel free to message me

"

I don't remember one from last night. It may have been so hideous I blanked it out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lower you standards? So what if their profile isn't great, they might just be better at chatting in messages or in person.

I personally only care about their pics and that they don't treat women like sex objects.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Please don't take offence to this but maybe it's just because you b are not what they are looking for? X

Uh, they message me. I decline for the reasons given.

How did you read my post and get the idea it's them declining to meet me?

"

Oh, I see, you've misunderstood "make no effort".

I mean on their profile and photos.

If they message me and have a crap profile or a stack of cock photos and nothing else, I say no thanks.

Just because I'm not your type, please don't assume nobody attractive wants to meet me.

However, the ones that do are nearly always married, have no profile or write in text speak.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Lower you standards? So what if their profile isn't great, they might just be better at chatting in messages or in person.

I personally only care about their pics and that they don't treat women like sex objects."

Experience has tended to show those who've made no effort on their profile tend to be either arrogant, (they think good looks means they don't need to make an effort and women should be grateful for their attention), or they have the wrong idea about the site or a disrespectful opinion of the women here, (they don't need to make an effort because we're all desperate and them having a cock should be enough to have them knee deep in fanny by lunch time).

Plus no effort on profile and no effort on pics often go hand in hand.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any advice on what constitutes an acceptable profile? Too long and rambling could seem desperate and boring but too short and brief equals cocky and lazy....x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV "

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lower you standards? So what if their profile isn't great, they might just be better at chatting in messages or in person.

I personally only care about their pics and that they don't treat women like sex objects."

This... Exactly

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lower you standards? So what if their profile isn't great, they might just be better at chatting in messages or in person.

I personally only care about their pics and that they don't treat women like sex objects.

Experience has tended to show those who've made no effort on their profile tend to be either arrogant, (they think good looks means they don't need to make an effort and women should be grateful for their attention), or they have the wrong idea about the site or a disrespectful opinion of the women here, (they don't need to make an effort because we're all desperate and them having a cock should be enough to have them knee deep in fanny by lunch time).

Plus no effort on profile and no effort on pics often go hand in hand."

Fair enough then.

I've had some good chats with people who don't have good profiles, they tend to be unconfident and unsure of themselves once i get to know them but i do tend to attract a certain type of guy (sub).

They're always polite in initial messages too so that helps me decide if i like them or not, and that's why i talk them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia."

Well married guys then???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Any advice on what constitutes an acceptable profile? Too long and rambling could seem desperate and boring but too short and brief equals cocky and lazy....x"

By crap I mean one or two lines. They usually say they'll fill it in later, just ask anything you want to know or are the default that they are looking for women. Or anything written in text speak.

Profiles all about what they want put me off too. I like to know something about the person; who they are, what they have to offer. A good profile stands out from the thousands of other men's profiles and makes someone want to meet them rather than one of the thousands of other men.

It should be personal and reflect the individual. There is no magic formula for writing a profile that will work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

Maybe you should widen your age range there are some nice fit older gents on here!! David

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts* Maybe you should widen your age range there are some nice fit older gents on here!! David "

I don't want to meet anyone who is a very similar age to my parents.

As a maximum, 10 years older than me is quite enough, and I usually prefer men under 50. There are a few exceptions but not many.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

You are not looking for the next leader of the free world, just someone you connect with and enjoy having sex with, it doesn't need to be that complicated

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*

You are not looking for the next leader of the free world, just someone you connect with and enjoy having sex with, it doesn't need to be that complicated "

Wanting meets that are not attached, make an effort to tell people about themselves and don't have a bad attitude to the women on here isn't particularly complicated, at least not in my opinion.

As you say, there needs to be a connection and I'm very unlikely to find that connection with, for example, people who write in text speak.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You might want to take a risk and just go for it with a guy who doesn't fit an exacting criteria on their profile!!

I used to get overly wrapped up in my 'rules' with selecting profiles for meets.

Now I try to be more chilled out about it, and have had some surprisingly great meets.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Experience has tended to show those who've made no effort on their profile tend to be either arrogant, (they think good looks means they don't need to make an effort and women should be grateful for their attention), or they have the wrong idea about the site or a disrespectful opinion of the women here, (they don't need to make an effort because we're all desperate and them having a cock should be enough to have them knee deep in fanny by lunch time).

Plus no effort on profile and no effort on pics often go hand in hand."

Sorry about that V V.

Note to self, must try harder.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You might want to take a risk and just go for it with a guy who doesn't fit an exacting criteria on their profile!!

I used to get overly wrapped up in my 'rules' with selecting profiles for meets.

Now I try to be more chilled out about it, and have had some surprisingly great meets. "

Good advice and I do know it's at least partly down to me. I used to be more relaxed but my rules have come from some bad experiences and observed trends. I should give more people a chance rather than making assumptions based on past experiences.

It's still frustrating how many of the guys I'd otherwise love to meet, are married or attached though. I can see a stack of reasons it shouldn't bother me but it still does.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

Experience has tended to show those who've made no effort on their profile tend to be either arrogant, (they think good looks means they don't need to make an effort and women should be grateful for their attention), or they have the wrong idea about the site or a disrespectful opinion of the women here, (they don't need to make an effort because we're all desperate and them having a cock should be enough to have them knee deep in fanny by lunch time).

Plus no effort on profile and no effort on pics often go hand in hand.

Sorry about that V V.

Note to self, must try harder. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not hot but... writing a good profile is hard I think as your trying reveal a bit of yourself, but not to much, so get people interested

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Not hot but... writing a good profile is hard I think as your trying reveal a bit of yourself, but not to much, so get people interested "

It doesn't need to be particularly good but it really puts me off when no effort has been made, (as above, one or two lines saying nothing about them).

If they aren't going to make any effort to tell others about themselves, how much do they actually care if there's a connection? How much effort would they bother to make for a meet?

That's what I end up thinking anyway.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would write more about myself but again this is a swingers site and not a dating site! Some people like a long winded write up and others like a brief as once you get chatting it soon becomes clear if you have what it takes to proceed further

As for emails the initial is always a short polite hello

J x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Personally I would write more about myself but again this is a swingers site and not a dating site! Some people like a long winded write up and others like a brief as once you get chatting it soon becomes clear if you have what it takes to proceed further

As for emails the initial is always a short polite hello

J x "

You have made an effort on your profile though. It's fine. It will appeal to some and not others. I don't think it's possible to write a profile that everyone will like.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any advice on what constitutes an acceptable profile? Too long and rambling could seem desperate and boring but too short and brief equals cocky and lazy....x"

Having perused yours a little more profile text might help get a clue or two about your personality x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's another thought: maybe the hot (single) men are married or attached too?

Hot, fit, charming, handsome, hung, good with the ladies, possibly of an age that most people are settling or have settled down... i.e. Just EXACTLY the type of guy who would have no problem getting a girlfriend or wife ...

And yet there's so many of these amazing blokes that are "genuinely" single on here .... Hmmmmm.

But yeah, to go back to your other point, life is sometimes unfair. The hot guys will always have a lot of demand so the ladies go to them. Just look at the "which forumers would you fuck" threads and the same names keep cropping up and they're rarely the chubby ugly ones so, much like the ladies on here, the 'hot' guys can pick and choose more so it'll be harder to secure a hot date with them!

The rest of us mere mortals just have to accept it and work just that little bit harder

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's another thought: maybe the hot (single) men are married or attached too?

Hot, fit, charming, handsome, hung, good with the ladies, possibly of an age that most people are settling or have settled down... i.e. Just EXACTLY the type of guy who would have no problem getting a girlfriend or wife ...

And yet there's so many of these amazing blokes that are "genuinely" single on here .... Hmmmmm.

But yeah, to go back to your other point, life is sometimes unfair. The hot guys will always have a lot of demand so the ladies go to them. Just look at the "which forumers would you fuck" threads and the same names keep cropping up and they're rarely the chubby ugly ones so, much like the ladies on here, the 'hot' guys can pick and choose more so it'll be harder to secure a hot date with them!

The rest of us mere mortals just have to accept it and work just that little bit harder "

Oops just read further down the thread and I can see that these guys are messaging you then you're having to reject them for the reasons given. So the above doesn't really address those points!

I guess the hot guys think they don't need to do so much to impress YOU, as you'll be impressed with THEM. A little arrogance on their part perhaps? Who knows... as with anything, something's come easy to some whereas others need to work hard, c'est la vie

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You might want to take a risk and just go for it with a guy who doesn't fit an exacting criteria on their profile!!

I used to get overly wrapped up in my 'rules' with selecting profiles for meets.

Now I try to be more chilled out about it, and have had some surprisingly great meets.

Good advice and I do know it's at least partly down to me. I used to be more relaxed but my rules have come from some bad experiences and observed trends. I should give more people a chance rather than making assumptions based on past experiences.

It's still frustrating how many of the guys I'd otherwise love to meet, are married or attached though. I can see a stack of reasons it shouldn't bother me but it still does."

It is a shit when you keep having those bad experiences, your right, it does mould you into being very selective. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Here's another thought: maybe the hot (single) men are married or attached too?

Hot, fit, charming, handsome, hung, good with the ladies, possibly of an age that most people are settling or have settled down... i.e. Just EXACTLY the type of guy who would have no problem getting a girlfriend or wife ...

And yet there's so many of these amazing blokes that are "genuinely" single on here .... Hmmmmm.

But yeah, to go back to your other point, life is sometimes unfair. The hot guys will always have a lot of demand so the ladies go to them. Just look at the "which forumers would you fuck" threads and the same names keep cropping up and they're rarely the chubby ugly ones so, much like the ladies on here, the 'hot' guys can pick and choose more so it'll be harder to secure a hot date with them!

The rest of us mere mortals just have to accept it and work just that little bit harder "

I'm well aware a lot of the single guys aren't actually single. This is why I'm whining that most of them are married.

However, just because a guy can get a partner, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants one. Casual sex may suit him fine. Hot doesn't necessarily mean attached though an awful lot are.

Also, as above, I'm talking mostly about the guys that contact me. There's no point me concerning myself with what men who aren't interested in meeting me do or don't do.

My problem is I could meet them, except for the reasons I won't.

I'm not complaining guys I find hot don't want to meet me. Just that they're usually attached or haven't made any sort of effort.

I tend not to contact guys I think are very hot so the fact they get a lot of attention doesn't make any difference to me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Here's another thought: maybe the hot (single) men are married or attached too?

Hot, fit, charming, handsome, hung, good with the ladies, possibly of an age that most people are settling or have settled down... i.e. Just EXACTLY the type of guy who would have no problem getting a girlfriend or wife ...

And yet there's so many of these amazing blokes that are "genuinely" single on here .... Hmmmmm.

But yeah, to go back to your other point, life is sometimes unfair. The hot guys will always have a lot of demand so the ladies go to them. Just look at the "which forumers would you fuck" threads and the same names keep cropping up and they're rarely the chubby ugly ones so, much like the ladies on here, the 'hot' guys can pick and choose more so it'll be harder to secure a hot date with them!

The rest of us mere mortals just have to accept it and work just that little bit harder

Oops just read further down the thread and I can see that these guys are messaging you then you're having to reject them for the reasons given. So the above doesn't really address those points!

I guess the hot guys think they don't need to do so much to impress YOU, as you'll be impressed with THEM. A little arrogance on their part perhaps? Who knows... as with anything, something's come easy to some whereas others need to work hard, c'est la vie"

Yep. I was writing my reply to you as you were posting this.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If I had a club nearer I'd go more often. Profiles don't matter there.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of the 'single' men are attached.

Married men such as myself are open (with partner's full consent) to nsa fun. Having the no attached rule is problematic as a good number of the single profiles are merely lying about being single.

If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I had a club nearer I'd go more often. Profiles don't matter there. "

So the hurdle that is in your way is just the profiles????

Try to open your mind a wee bit more not every guy likes writing profiles jeez I had to help a friend write his many moons ago as he was apprehensive but damn he was good in bed and respectful.

Think oot the box a bit more...go on give it a go.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water..."

I agree, in general because a few are happy single.

Hence my whinge that all the good ones are taken, (so I have to decide to meet cheats or lower my standards - frustrating choice).

That's all it is, a bit of a moan and sulk.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its just a shag, you might as well go for it lol.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water...

I agree, in general because a few are happy single.

Hence my whinge that all the good ones are taken, (so I have to decide to meet cheats or lower my standards - frustrating choice).

That's all it is, a bit of a moan and sulk."

Have a wank and go enjoy the last days of summer.x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"A lot of the 'single' men are attached."

I'm well aware. I'm quite attuned to the signs and I do my best to be sure single men are actually single before I'll meet.


"If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers. "

I'm definitely not looking for more than no strings. I don't want the potential hassle of seeing an attached man or to be involved in an innocent partner perhaps getting hurt.

If I was looking for more, I wouldn't be looking on here.

My profile says I don't want to meet anyone cheating on a partner. Anyone playing solo with the knowledge and agreement of their partner is fine.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Its just a shag, you might as well go for it lol."

Tell that to the attached person's partner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm looking and receive a first message i will judge whether i continue chatting on whether they have at least one out of 3 things. ...so can be either a great first message, or decent pics OR Well written profile. They don't have to have all three. I've found some gems that way. People that i would have written off because their profile is one line long or they didn't have any pics. I think sometimes people can get very caught up in a great big list of wants. It doesn't hurt to chat to those outside your strict criteria now and then. These days my only criteria that is set in stone is they must be black/mixed race. The rest I'm flexible on.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water..."

That's quite an assumption, could be any number of reasons, divorced, not wanting to settle down, that's just two examples

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water...

I agree, in general because a few are happy single.

Hence my whinge that all the good ones are taken, (so I have to decide to meet cheats or lower my standards - frustrating choice).

That's all it is, a bit of a moan and sulk.

Have a wank and go enjoy the last days of summer.x"

No chance today. Once I finish complaining I have a day of chores ahead. Which is a large part of why I'm still here complaining!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm single and un-attached, I have no baggage, my profile is pretty good, I have plenty of pictures (few of which are of my cock) and I like to think I make an effort.

The hot part - I suppose that's subjective.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"A lot of the 'single' men are attached.

Married men such as myself are open (with partner's full consent) to nsa fun. Having the no attached rule is problematic as a good number of the single profiles are merely lying about being single.

If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers. "

Don't think that's a fair assumption that they are looking for more if they state in their profile they want to meet unattached men, I have it in my profile and trust me I ain't looking for a relationship on here...we are not all bunny boilers either I just choose not to partake knowingly in someone cheating it's my choice

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia."

Or who have less than 6 fingers on each hand

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water...

That's quite an assumption, could be any number of reasons, divorced, not wanting to settle down, that's just two examples"

That's true. But rare. In my experience.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its just a shag, you might as well go for it lol.

Tell that to the attached person's partner."

lol yes or ask when wife has gone to work.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/15 08:41:58]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia.

Or who have less than 6 fingers on each hand"

Oi. Sod right orf!

I was born in Norfolk and have the correct number of digits and none of them are webbed!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I completely agree with OP. I'm sorry to say I have, for now, had to shelve my "moral code".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water..."

What an utter pile...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Maybe women should make more effort why should i bother to mail when there are 100s of guys mailing the same woman.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia.

Or who have less than 6 fingers on each hand

Oi. Sod right orf!

I was born in Norfolk and have the correct number of digits and none of them are webbed! "

And your corrective surgeon is very proud...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So fucked if you do, fucked if you don't!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Maybe women should make more effort why should i bother to mail when there are 100s of guys mailing the same woman. "

To search out what they're after you mean?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

I think writing an extensive profile is ridiculous. It looks like you are looking for a boyfriend or partner - on a so called swingers site. Too many on here are not really into sex with strangers or people for sex alone. This is not a dating site. Or is it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option."

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*

I think writing an extensive profile is ridiculous. It looks like you are looking for a boyfriend or partner - on a so called swingers site. Too many on here are not really into sex with strangers or people for sex alone. This is not a dating site. Or is it.

"

Where did I say anyone must write an extensive profile?

There is, amazingly, a fair bit of middle ground between a 1 or 2 line profile and an extensive one.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia.

Or who have less than 6 fingers on each hand

Oi. Sod right orf!

I was born in Norfolk and have the correct number of digits and none of them are webbed!

And your corrective surgeon is very proud... "

You can sod orf too, strumpet!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of the 'single' men are attached.

Married men such as myself are open (with partner's full consent) to nsa fun. Having the no attached rule is problematic as a good number of the single profiles are merely lying about being single.

If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers.

Don't think that's a fair assumption that they are looking for more if they state in their profile they want to meet unattached men, I have it in my profile and trust me I ain't looking for a relationship on here...we are not all bunny boilers either I just choose not to partake knowingly in someone cheating it's my choice "

That's fine, you play your way, no problem with that at all. Just stating my own opinion as an 'attached' male who is allowed fun, and my wife even helps me with texting etc so I don't make a dick of myself or at least gives a female perspective of any dates I have etc.

A few girls I've dated/spoken with have given a vibe of looking for more than nsa fun and I'm not interested at all in that. The 'no attached men' rule is just a filter I personally would use if I were single, and I have no choice but to use as I am in fact attached. Other men choose to get round it by setting up a single male profile, I choose to show respect to women by being 100% honest. Yep, I get less meets but I'm not exactly desperate, I can wait.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that."

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they are that good looking and really are single at the age of 35+. Then what's up with their personality? Something must be souring the water...

What an utter pile..."

Whats up? You have a great personality....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time "

Thankfully.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Maybe women should make more effort why should i bother to mail when there are 100s of guys mailing the same woman. "

I do message men first, fairly often (when I'm actually meeting, that is). I won't usually message the guys I consider really hot though. If I think they're really hot so will loads of other women and I doubt they would pick me over some if them.

If they message me then clearly they're interested.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 29/08/15 08:55:34]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

VV you have no idea what a hangover is. Type more quietly please

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes in life beggars can't be choosers

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time

Thankfully. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*

I think writing an extensive profile is ridiculous. It looks like you are looking for a boyfriend or partner - on a so called swingers site. Too many on here are not really into sex with strangers or people for sex alone. This is not a dating site. Or is it.

Where did I say anyone must write an extensive profile?

There is, amazingly, a fair bit of middle ground between a 1 or 2 line profile and an extensive one.

"

Dont get annoyed. There are mostly desperate men flexibg their gym, steroids produced " muscles" in iron man poses. They would probably be shit in bed as wanting to take pics of their cock inside you. I generalise ofcourse but not so much )

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!"

"she knows"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time

Thankfully. "

You KNOW that you aren't a minger

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!"

Not by everyone, some of us would have answered similarly. I agree though he would have.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You KNOW that you aren't a minger "

You silver tongued devil you

How do I look? Well you're not a minger

(Just teasing lol )

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Sometimes in life beggars can't be choosers"

Oh thank you very much. That was called for was it?

You've kind of missed my point anyway.

I'm hardly begging

It's frustrating when very hot guys contact me and I have to turn them down because they're married.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!"

Of course he would. That's Fab equality in action.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes in life beggars can't be choosers

Oh thank you very much. That was called for was it?

You've kind of missed my point anyway.

I'm hardly begging

It's frustrating when very hot guys contact me and I have to turn them down because they're married."

Go and have a lady- wank then- that will sort some of your fraustration!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married men are great meets too...just saying

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I think this highlights the only real downside to not just fab, but any online site. While you can use a profile to try and narrow down those who are potentially more compaitable we all know that can change within 20 seconds of meeting in the flesh.

We've blocked people on here as they came across as complete twats on here... Only realising later on when we try to add them as friends because we'd randomly played with them in a club!

My point is, maybe spend more time on the "listen I can meet at costa for 20 mins at lunch" type meets, and you may be pleasantly surprised. I.e. Relax your selection process but retain your meet standards.

It's not lowering standards it's about entering into an open and honest bit of fun between consenting adults.

D

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Married men are great meets too...just saying "

True story

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

To be honest I don't get too hung up on what it says on profiles, I obviously read them as they will contain info that may mean you are not what they are looking for at all or they are not what you are looking for but I way prefer to chat either via messages or on cam, that way especially on cam you find out very quickly if they are for you or not. J

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Have some positivity you are coming across as so negitive. Do the men have to be toned and muscly and good looking?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time

Thankfully.

You KNOW that you aren't a minger "

Ohhhh you men will say anything to get in a woman's knickers.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!"

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to."

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand.

My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex. Why not, men do it all the time

Thankfully.

You KNOW that you aren't a minger

Ohhhh you men will say anything to get in a woman's knickers. "

Scarlet I'm not a man and I have knickers aplenty of my own

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I think this highlights the only real downside to not just fab, but any online site. While you can use a profile to try and narrow down those who are potentially more compaitable we all know that can change within 20 seconds of meeting in the flesh.

We've blocked people on here as they came across as complete twats on here... Only realising later on when we try to add them as friends because we'd randomly played with them in a club!

My point is, maybe spend more time on the "listen I can meet at costa for 20 mins at lunch" type meets, and you may be pleasantly surprised. I.e. Relax your selection process but retain your meet standards.

It's not lowering standards it's about entering into an open and honest bit of fun between consenting adults.

D

"

Lowering standards wasn't phrased well and wasn't what I meant, (I mentioned the hangover, right? ) I should perhaps have said realign my thinking. That's closer to what I meant.

There are still plenty of guys I find attractive. The hottest ones, however, are nearly always married or don't fit my personal rules in some other way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London


"Have some positivity you are coming across as so negitive. Do the men have to be toned and muscly and good looking? "
I would have to agree with this. Good advice!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to."

Yes. That is why.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Have some positivity you are coming across as so negitive. Do the men have to be toned and muscly and good looking? I would have to agree with this. Good advice! "

I think that if you want to meet only a certain type of man you should stick to that and not compromise. This isn't about ltrs it's about nsa sex why shouldn't we all have what we want rather than make do? I won't compromise and I'd hate it if somebody met me because I would do rather than because I met their criteria.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done "

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

Yes. That is why. "

What is why? Aren't men allowed to not want to meet attached women?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Have some positivity you are coming across as so negitive. Do the men have to be toned and muscly and good looking? "

No.

But the ones that are and that message me are usually married. That's frustrating. That's what I'm whining about.

I don't *only* want to meet the Greek god types.

But I would want to meet them and am frustrated I can't (and it's my own morals and rules stopping me).

I've obviously not explained my point well.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

As for positivity, I don't think it's possible to whinge positively.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)"

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Except to say I am positive I am whinging but I said that in the OP.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).hot men make no effort....hot women often make no effort. General fact of life that if you are a bit of stunner male of female....people come to you. ..so you don't have to try hard..loads of women here put little effort into it as there are so many guys. ..!

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning "

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done "

Job well done!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks I must be hot then lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).hot men make no effort....hot women often make no effort. General fact of life that if you are a bit of stunner male of female....people come to you. ..so you don't have to try hard..loads of women here put little effort into it as there are so many guys. ..!

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

Of course some very hot women don't make a lot of effort, for the same reason very hot men don't. I'm not whining about the women though because I'm not trying to meet them.

Of course, I'm not actually meeting anyone at the moment but that's beside the point!

If you want to moan about very hot women, start yer own thread

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing. "

And as I support the sisterhood I have to stay on the sofa in my Japanese kimono dressing gown drinking tea monitoring your replies

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing. "

I bet your profile views and inbox traffic have increased as a result...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

And as I support the sisterhood I have to stay on the sofa in my Japanese kimono dressing gown drinking tea monitoring your replies "

Sounds entirely reasonable to me

I haven't got as far as the kettle yet. My OP may have been a bit clearer if I had!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that single guys get rejected so much it's not worth putting the effort in anymore. 100% of my messeges are read and deleted I don't see the point of putting the effort in. I'm sure it's the same for alot of guys here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

I bet your profile views and inbox traffic have increased as a result... "

Inbox, no, at least not yet. Profile views, I'm not sure. I haven't looked.

That wasn't the point of the thread though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

Struggling to work if i am a minger, or if my efforts go unnoticed.

I guess, not being a hottie is a good thing; i appreciate all those ladies that i talk to and who dont block me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Nope, profile views not particularly high. No higher than I'd expect for early on a weekend morning, particularly on a bank holiday.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

And as I support the sisterhood I have to stay on the sofa in my Japanese kimono dressing gown drinking tea monitoring your replies

Sounds entirely reasonable to me

I haven't got as far as the kettle yet. My OP may have been a bit clearer if I had! "

For gods sake woman get a drink! How can you possibly think rationally without caffeine?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that single guys get rejected so much it's not worth putting the effort in anymore. 100% of my messeges are read and deleted I don't see the point of putting the effort in. I'm sure it's the same for alot of guys here"

Take a leaf out of my book. Don't message anyone.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea


"When I'm looking and receive a first message i will judge whether i continue chatting on whether they have at least one out of 3 things. ...so can be either a great first message, or decent pics OR Well written profile. They don't have to have all three. I've found some gems that way. People that i would have written off because their profile is one line long or they didn't have any pics. I think sometimes people can get very caught up in a great big list of wants. It doesn't hurt to chat to those outside your strict criteria now and then. These days my only criteria that is set in stone is they must be black/mixed race. The rest I'm flexible on."

This

I feel ya pain. it's happened to me where I've gone oh hello hot man has Messaged me (my type of hot), damn the message/profile is terrible.. maybe not.

Y'know the hot Single guy that messages you a great message, with a great profile, you meet and have a great time with, could still secretly be attached too, or the hot guy in a club. Just booty call one of the fit/ cute but not beefcake men with great chat and profiles to get seriously naughty - orgasms help you forget what's not important

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that single guys get rejected so much it's not worth putting the effort in anymore. 100% of my messeges are read and deleted I don't see the point of putting the effort in. I'm sure it's the same for alot of guys here

Take a leaf out of my book. Don't message anyone. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Struggling to work if i am a minger, or if my efforts go unnoticed.

I guess, not being a hottie is a good thing; i appreciate all those ladies that i talk to and who dont block me "

Why would you be a minger?

My post doesn't say anything about you because as far as I'm aware, you've never contacted me about a meet.

Besides, not a hottie doesn't necessarily mean a minger. There's a lot of ground between Greek god and Hunchback of Notre Dame

And I've not blocked you (yet! ) even after our little spat that I can't remember.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think that single guys get rejected so much it's not worth putting the effort in anymore. 100% of my messeges are read and deleted I don't see the point of putting the effort in. I'm sure it's the same for alot of guys here"
p's this was just my view not a moan up lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

And as I support the sisterhood I have to stay on the sofa in my Japanese kimono dressing gown drinking tea monitoring your replies

Sounds entirely reasonable to me

I haven't got as far as the kettle yet. My OP may have been a bit clearer if I had!

For gods sake woman get a drink! How can you possibly think rationally without caffeine?"

I frequently can't think straight *with* caffeine!

Apologies for not trimming these long posts everyone but I'm on my 'phone which makes it really difficult to do.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure you're not alone in this way of thinking VV. I can recal quite a few women who have been 'vocal' in the past about being anti married men meeting ~ but over time have changed their minds and met them.

Is this because these men have been hot & a good meet or is it because of a lack of actual single men that meet their criteria so they compromised, who knows.

I can't see the point on compromising on something you feel strongly about but maybe next time you like someone look at the package as a whole instead of a tick list ~ that may help you decide.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I'm pretty sure you're not alone in this way of thinking VV. I can recal quite a few women who have been 'vocal' in the past about being anti married men meeting ~ but over time have changed their minds and met them.

Is this because these men have been hot & a good meet or is it because of a lack of actual single men that meet their criteria so they compromised, who knows.

I can't see the point on compromising on something you feel strongly about but maybe next time you like someone look at the package as a whole instead of a tick list ~ that may help you decide.

"

When I said "lower my standards" I really meant adjust my way of thinking, so I agree.

I didn't mean meeting other guys would be a compromise because they're mingers. More that to be able to meet those I find really hot (but don't meet my criteria in some way) would require me to compromise and change my way of thinking.

Logically I don't feel strongly about not meeting those who are attached. It's their relationship, not mine. But it still feels wrong, no matter how much I want to sometimes.

I may be able to make other compromises though, or change my thinking on some things.

This has been quite useful because I'm seeing some things from different angles and have realised a few things about my thinking that I wasn't previously aware of.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

My tuppence worth? I received a really good, really intriguing message from someone with no pics and a two line profile (not a generic one but not very detailed). I replied and a year later I am still seeing him. He had very good occupational reasons for having such a low profile profile, which I found out within a few messages. If I hadn't responded I would have missed out on a fantastic opportunity.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE


"I'm pretty sure you're not alone in this way of thinking VV. I can recal quite a few women who have been 'vocal' in the past about being anti married men meeting ~ but over time have changed their minds and met them.

Is this because these men have been hot & a good meet or is it because of a lack of actual single men that meet their criteria so they compromised, who knows.

I can't see the point on compromising on something you feel strongly about but maybe next time you like someone look at the package as a whole instead of a tick list ~ that may help you decide.

"

Yeah, look at his package, that should help

Well, as a genuine single guy, does tgat mean i am sought after ?

Errm, no. The hotter you are, tge less you have to work at it, married or not.

Ejay was a prime example. The ladies flocked and turned a blind eye to any issues.

Just saying

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford


"I think this highlights the only real downside to not just fab, but any online site. While you can use a profile to try and narrow down those who are potentially more compaitable we all know that can change within 20 seconds of meeting in the flesh.

We've blocked people on here as they came across as complete twats on here... Only realising later on when we try to add them as friends because we'd randomly played with them in a club!

My point is, maybe spend more time on the "listen I can meet at costa for 20 mins at lunch" type meets, and you may be pleasantly surprised. I.e. Relax your selection process but retain your meet standards.

It's not lowering standards it's about entering into an open and honest bit of fun between consenting adults.

D

Lowering standards wasn't phrased well and wasn't what I meant, (I mentioned the hangover, right? ) I should perhaps have said realign my thinking. That's closer to what I meant.

There are still plenty of guys I find attractive. The hottest ones, however, are nearly always married or don't fit my personal rules in some other way."

Apologies, what I meant by lowering standards was more about when you mentioned guys who look great but made no effort on profile etc. I.e. The ones that don't appear to be making the effort etc.

I'm not for one second saying lower your standards, but reading back my post I could have worded it better.

Ta

D

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By *llyoucanEATMan
over a year ago

London


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

Haha this made me chuckle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My tuppence worth? I received a really good, really intriguing message from someone with no pics and a two line profile (not a generic one but not very detailed). I replied and a year later I am still seeing him. He had very good occupational reasons for having such a low profile profile, which I found out within a few messages. If I hadn't responded I would have missed out on a fantastic opportunity."

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

A guy would of been ripped to shreds, all I can see is your whinging about your own preferences, personallu I wouldn't find any guy hot if he had no profile or limited text so I'm assuming your going by looks alone?

The more preferences you have the less guys will fit them its hardly rocket science.

Only you set your preferences if you don't like them then change them or do the searching yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having standards is a good thing and if you have obided by these for years and survived then Why change? If you make them and stick to them you should be happy with your inner self based on your very reasons.

Standards however can subconsciously be set a tad too high. I'm 39 and single not necessarily through choice.

Unfortunately for some, me included, time waits for nobody and though I still have standards I am a little more; let's say realistic now.

I don't look back with regrets because I still maintain that I made the right decisions at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A guy would of been ripped to shreds, all I can see is your whinging about your own preferences, personallu I wouldn't find any guy hot if he had no profile or limited text so I'm assuming your going by looks alone?

The more preferences you have the less guys will fit them its hardly rocket science.

Only you set your preferences if you don't like them then change them or do the searching yourself.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you believe in your morals you won't feel frustrated by them.

Op, your frustration is clear.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"A guy would of been ripped to shreds, all I can see is your whinging about your own preferences, personallu I wouldn't find any guy hot if he had no profile or limited text so I'm assuming your going by looks alone?

The more preferences you have the less guys will fit them its hardly rocket science.

Only you set your preferences if you don't like them then change them or do the searching yourself.

"

Yes, it's totally a self-centred whinge. I admitted that from the beginning.

As for my evaluation of hotness, it's usually a combination of looks and first message, (and profile if he has one, which most do, they're just also married).

A couple of months back I got a first message that was absolutely on my wavelength. It totally clicked with me. I'd have met the guy from the message alone although it turned out, when he sent photos, he was very attractive (IMO). He was also married it later transpired, so I said no thanks. We'd exchanged quite a few messages by then and there was a strong connection.

I kicked myself for weeks for saying no, even though I couldn't have brought myself to meet him.

That's the frustration I mean and it's partly with myself for not being able to disregard that he is attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My tuppence worth? I received a really good, really intriguing message from someone with no pics and a two line profile (not a generic one but not very detailed). I replied and a year later I am still seeing him. He had very good occupational reasons for having such a low profile profile, which I found out within a few messages. If I hadn't responded I would have missed out on a fantastic opportunity."

That's exactly why I'm not rigid on insisting that a guy has everything i desire in a sexual encounter on first appearances one of my best fab friends has a truly shocking profile but he's one of the few that I will meet time and time again.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If you believe in your morals you won't feel frustrated by them.

Op, your frustration is clear."

Logically I can see lots of reasons not to believe in my rule of trying not to meet attached people, (although I can also see reasons I should believe in it).

But emotionally, the idea of meeting attached people feels wrong.

Logic and emotion are conflicting and have been for quite some time. What I want to do and what I feel is right are totally different.

Some of the frustration stems from that, I suspect.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"A guy would of been ripped to shreds, all I can see is your whinging about your own preferences, personallu I wouldn't find any guy hot if he had no profile or limited text so I'm assuming your going by looks alone?

The more preferences you have the less guys will fit them its hardly rocket science.

Only you set your preferences if you don't like them then change them or do the searching yourself.

Yes, it's totally a self-centred whinge. I admitted that from the beginning.

As for my evaluation of hotness, it's usually a combination of looks and first message, (and profile if he has one, which most do, they're just also married).

A couple of months back I got a first message that was absolutely on my wavelength. It totally clicked with me. I'd have met the guy from the message alone although it turned out, when he sent photos, he was very attractive (IMO). He was also married it later transpired, so I said no thanks. We'd exchanged quite a few messages by then and there was a strong connection.

I kicked myself for weeks for saying no, even though I couldn't have brought myself to meet him.

That's the frustration I mean and it's partly with myself for not being able to disregard that he is attached."

one guy,if I wasn't tired I'd go through all my messages from last night and analyse why I don't want to meet them.

Your not the only person with preferences but your the only person moaning that your preferences are not working for you.

I'm sure there are loads of guys that fit your criteria you will just have to put more effort into looking for them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I kind of know the answer, (they're hot and they don't have to), but it's still frustrating.

Darn my blasted principles and blast my need to apply my own rules evenly, (i.e. if they only have cock pics, have virtually no profile or write in text speak, I won't go there, even if they're scorching hot).

Yes, I know it's partly my own fault, but I still feel like complaining it's not fair. I have a hangover after 2 drinks and feel like whining.

And don't even start me on the hot guy who winked me last week but had a status that made me shudder.

Seriously, am I going to have to choose between ditching my no attached men rule or lowering my standards?

*stamps feet*

It's not fair.

*pouts*"

I hear ya girl..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *CoastFunMan
over a year ago

Southampron


"

Lowering standards wasn't phrased well and wasn't what I meant, (I mentioned the hangover, right? ) I should perhaps have said realign my thinking. That's closer to what I meant.

There are still plenty of guys I find attractive. The hottest ones, however, are nearly always married or don't fit my personal rules in some other way."

It's said that rules are only made to be..........

You know the rest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have already answered your own question then....just concentrate on the hotties that have a good profile and aren't married....loads of them around VV

Yeah, I know I have. I just felt like whining.

There are very few unmarried hotties than can write in something other than text speak here in East Anglia."

It's the webbed fingers and toes - makes it hard to type...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Follow our mentality

No standards

Therefore

No problem

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've never broken any of my preferences to meet someone but over time my preferences have naturally changed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Any advice on what constitutes an acceptable profile? Too long and rambling could seem desperate and boring but too short and brief equals cocky and lazy....x"

Medium length, good content stating preferences and what they want from a meet (apart from sex) is helpful... and a face pic with first message is even more helpful...content needs to be something that lets their personality poke through, preferably not an A4 sheet of jokes they've copied and pasted...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you believe in your morals you won't feel frustrated by them.

Op, your frustration is clear.

Logically I can see lots of reasons not to believe in my rule of trying not to meet attached people, (although I can also see reasons I should believe in it).

But emotionally, the idea of meeting attached people feels wrong.

Logic and emotion are conflicting and have been for quite some time. What I want to do and what I feel is right are totally different.

Some of the frustration stems from that, I suspect."

For what it's worth, stick to what you know is best. If you have right and wrong ethic building blocks into your system, you will continue to struggle to break them down.

Stick to your gut instinct

This has clearly got your mind literally spinning around in circles. A difficult one for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a man had started this thread he would have been ripped to shreds! Just sayin!

Er why?

For being frustrated that some really hot women message him and he feels he has to say no because they are married?

I don't see anything wrong with it, although some people are clearly missing the point.

I'm not saying everyone I fancy is married and everyone else is a minger, just it's frustrating to be offered something enticing which you feel you have to say no to.

We do get that, well I do anyway but what's your actual point? You seem to be getting a bit tetchy that we aren't all saying "never mind VV we feel your pain".

In short, life is hard, good looking men will be gay or married, get over it or fuck a minger.

I feel my work here is done

No, not tetchy. I'm trying to acknowledge and reply to everyone posting, (don't want any claims I only respond to people I fancy )

My point originally was a whinge, nothing more.

Now my point is trying to explain what I meant to those who've misunderstood it.

You get it (yay!) but apparently not everyone does.

This reply was asking why a guy posting it would have been shredded. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not man-hating (so wouldn't be woman hating from a guy) and it's not insulting. I wouldn't object if a guy posted it.

It's a genuine question. Or what grounds would anyone object if a man posted it, other than to tell him not to whinge (which I have admitted from the off that I'm doing) and he should be grateful for any meets (which I have been told with the beggars can't be choosers comment. And let's face it, if I was feeling aggrieved, I'd have said far more in response to that!)

I think that a man would have been answered far more aggressively but then that would happen in real life too.

Yes I do get it but it's nice to have a bit of back and forth discussion on a Saturday morning

It's certainly proving to be an active thread, even if half the posts are mine, trying to respond to all posts!

And, of course, I can't abandon my thread, making it impossible for me to get up and get on with what I should be doing.

And as I support the sisterhood I have to stay on the sofa in my Japanese kimono dressing gown drinking tea monitoring your replies "

Have you slept with Ken Barlow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you believe in your morals you won't feel frustrated by them.

Op, your frustration is clear.

Logically I can see lots of reasons not to believe in my rule of trying not to meet attached people, (although I can also see reasons I should believe in it).

But emotionally, the idea of meeting attached people feels wrong.

Logic and emotion are conflicting and have been for quite some time. What I want to do and what I feel is right are totally different.

Some of the frustration stems from that, I suspect."

If you believe in your morals and your preferences are based on those honest beliefs then there is no conflict.

Frustration indicates that your less of a believer than you used to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never broken any of my preferences to meet someone but over time my preferences have naturally changed"

Wise words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of the 'single' men are attached.

Married men such as myself are open (with partner's full consent) to nsa fun. Having the no attached rule is problematic as a good number of the single profiles are merely lying about being single.

If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers. "

I can assure you that I'm not a fan of bunny broth but that single or not I wouldn't want the hassle an attached man brings. Few days back I had a horrendous stream of msgs from some wife of a married guy who didn't know he was chatting to me and she caught him wanking over my pics and read our msgs. So I've had to live with that thought that 'I've ruined her marriage and broken up her and her child's happy home'.

At least by putting 'no attached men' on my profile, the deceit is entirely there's....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of the 'single' men are attached.

Married men such as myself are open (with partner's full consent) to nsa fun. Having the no attached rule is problematic as a good number of the single profiles are merely lying about being single.

If I was single I'd avoid those who state no attached men as it screams of a woman looking for much more than no strings and those kind of women can turn into real bunny boilers.

I can assure you that I'm not a fan of bunny broth but that single or not I wouldn't want the hassle an attached man brings. Few days back I had a horrendous stream of msgs from some wife of a married guy who didn't know he was chatting to me and she caught him wanking over my pics and read our msgs. So I've had to live with that thought that 'I've ruined her marriage and broken up her and her child's happy home'.

At least by putting 'no attached men' on my profile, the deceit is entirely there's...."

*theirs*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you believe in your morals you won't feel frustrated by them.

Op, your frustration is clear.

Logically I can see lots of reasons not to believe in my rule of trying not to meet attached people, (although I can also see reasons I should believe in it).

But emotionally, the idea of meeting attached people feels wrong.

Logic and emotion are conflicting and have been for quite some time. What I want to do and what I feel is right are totally different.

Some of the frustration stems from that, I suspect.

For what it's worth, stick to what you know is best. If you have right and wrong ethic building blocks into your system, you will continue to struggle to break them down.

Stick to your gut instinct

This has clearly got your mind literally spinning around in circles. A difficult one for sure

"

Stick to what you know? Definitely not. Adapt and grow.

Dont be scared to live your life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I've never broken any of my preferences to meet someone but over time my preferences have naturally changed"

That is a very good point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Stick to what you know? Definitely not. Adapt and grow.

Dont be scared to live your life."

What a great quote, love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner. "

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet?

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet? "

There are some genuinely single men on here. They're not all liars.

Most of us that don't want to meet cheaters are aware that some people lie. We don't take the fact that someone is on here with a single profile to mean they're single. Most of us have fairly keen senses when it comes to spotting cheats. We know there are huge numbers of both married men and women on here cheating.

Yes, sometimes we get caught out but we're not quite as gullible as you seem to think.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Guys tend to be honest with me about being married, then its up to me whether I want to meet them or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet? "

No. The few couples I have spoken to on here turned out to be single men. I've found plenty of actual single men here. I live in a highly populated area. It may be an option for V though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet?

No. The few couples I have spoken to on here turned out to be single men. I've found plenty of actual single men here. I live in a highly populated area. It may be an option for V though "

A genuine single guy pretending to be a couple would get less meets not more. That makes no sense whatsoever. I think you want more than nsa and are just trying to alter reality to hide it. That's why if I were single I'd give a very wide berth to the no attached men brigade. Klingons and bunny boilers alert.

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By *yLongJourneyMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

im in a highly sexed area myself, but i get overlooked, never replied to and blocked without doing anything wrong, ahhh yes now i remember im not a hunky male due to having facial hair and a hairy body and my profile is put together i think very well. but i will say that a great couple and a single i meet frequently from here are the only exception and they enjoy my company and the fun i dish out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet?

No. The few couples I have spoken to on here turned out to be single men. I've found plenty of actual single men here. I live in a highly populated area. It may be an option for V though

A genuine single guy pretending to be a couple would get less meets not more. That makes no sense whatsoever. I think you want more than nsa and are just trying to alter reality to hide it. That's why if I were single I'd give a very wide berth to the no attached men brigade. Klingons and bunny boilers alert."

That was funny to read. Are you trying to persuade us to have sex with married men? I have single men I've been seeing for sex for years. If I was a bunny boiler or Klingon,as you so eloquently put it,they would have run away years ago. I don't go for drinks with them,I don't eat out with them. We have sex. You wouldn't have a chance with me anyway,I don't need men in relationships,I have enough single men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not every one takes this as seriously others with profiles ten pages long with an extensive lists of likes and dislikes.

I've spoke to loads of hot guys with shit profiles. I've even met some of them.

They're hot. They dont need to make as much effort. Same with hot ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And,I don't want the man of a couple going home and discussing what we did with his wife.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Guys tend to be honest with me about being married, then its up to me whether I want to meet them or not.

"

Most have been honest either upfront or when asked directly if they are married or attached.

A few have claimed they are playing with their other half's agreement but have disappeared when I've asked if the other half will confirm it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet?

No. The few couples I have spoken to on here turned out to be single men. I've found plenty of actual single men here. I live in a highly populated area. It may be an option for V though

A genuine single guy pretending to be a couple would get less meets not more. That makes no sense whatsoever. I think you want more than nsa and are just trying to alter reality to hide it. That's why if I were single I'd give a very wide berth to the no attached men brigade. Klingons and bunny boilers alert.

That was funny to read. Are you trying to persuade us to have sex with married men? I have single men I've been seeing for sex for years. If I was a bunny boiler or Klingon,as you so eloquently put it,they would have run away years ago. I don't go for drinks with them,I don't eat out with them. We have sex. You wouldn't have a chance with me anyway,I don't need men in relationships,I have enough single men "

My mistake,you said if you were single.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Heh, I recently broke my own 'no married guys' rule, but then I have met his wife, have exchanged messages with her on here (he's crap at the messaging/texting stuff), and we have her blessing. I don't care if he tells her the whole meet when he gets home, because I want to meet him that much.

Not great advice for the OP, but its an option. Pick the hot men from couples who are happy to meet alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this another single female moaning thread?

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet?

No. The few couples I have spoken to on here turned out to be single men. I've found plenty of actual single men here. I live in a highly populated area. It may be an option for V though

A genuine single guy pretending to be a couple would get less meets not more. That makes no sense whatsoever. I think you want more than nsa and are just trying to alter reality to hide it. That's why if I were single I'd give a very wide berth to the no attached men brigade. Klingons and bunny boilers alert."

I find this an interesting attitude too. For the four years I met men alone in this site (only meet women alone now) I had my fair share of cling ons ... demanding, wanting exclusivity, wanting to meet on a regular basis, ie once a week ... and the reason I came on this site was to meet for nsa sex, and get on with my real life, keep the sex in a little box I could control. The single women I meet are independent, feisty, know their own mind and very very far away from being needy or demanding or controlling. Surely they would not be here, but on a dating site ...

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"You may feel terrible after having sex with a married man. It can cause problems or you may end up having a long relationship with someone. Stick by your principles,once a deed is done it can't be undone. Not meeting married men doesn't mean you want more than sex. I'm lucky that I have an awful lot of lovely men in my area of England. If you change your physical preferences you may find someone who fits your mental preferences. It is a little frustrating when you talk to someone on here who then springs it on you that he's got a partner.

In our experience from the single guys we've met (for socials) it's a straight 50/50 those who admit to then being married/attached, so presumably more than that assuming one or two don't admit it.

So, the 'single' guys you're insisting on, aren't particularly likely to be actually single, and more than likely to be doing it behind their partner's back.

A couple profile, where both have access to the account and therefore to the messages etc, and openly on the profile open to 1on1 meets with full consent and even willing to meet or call anyone with doubts. You don't think that's a safer bet? "

do you know something, I've never thought about this before, I'm in a relationship, play as a single, my partner knows everything, I have it on my profile, never once has a guy commented on it or has said they prefer someone who is genuinely single, if they did say it I'd be wondering why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and married guys are wayyyyyyy less hassle than single ones! Even if their wifey does find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Heh, I recently broke my own 'no married guys' rule, but then I have met his wife, have exchanged messages with her on here (he's crap at the messaging/texting stuff), and we have her blessing. I don't care if he tells her the whole meet when he gets home, because I want to meet him that much.

Not great advice for the OP, but its an option. Pick the hot men from couples who are happy to meet alone."

I was seeing a married man for a couple of years. He was the only one to message for a chat every day. He told me everything about his family,I know where he works,where he lives, his birthday,hobbies. If I was a bunny boiler his kids would have no cats by now (they don't have rabbits.)

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If I wanted to be in a relationship, I could be. I'm single by choice.

I've had 2 long term relationships, of 8 years and 7 years respectively. The last one ended in 2010 and I've not felt the need for anything committed since. I'm certainly not looking for more than NSA.

If the right person comes along, I'd probably give a relationship a go, but I'm not looking on here and I'd run a mile from getting attached to anyone on here. I've stopped seeing long term meets because I was developing feelings. I don't want that sort of complication.

I think it's unlikely I'll ever have another monogamous relationship. They don't suit me. It would have to be an open relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grass is always greener...

Personally I find the vast majority of the hot women are spoken for.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Is this another single female moaning thread?"

Yes. The OP is quite clear about that.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Heh, I recently broke my own 'no married guys' rule, but then I have met his wife, have exchanged messages with her on here (he's crap at the messaging/texting stuff), and we have her blessing. I don't care if he tells her the whole meet when he gets home, because I want to meet him that much.

Not great advice for the OP, but its an option. Pick the hot men from couples who are happy to meet alone."

It's a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You don't give men a chance VV. You have list of criteria that you won't compromise on and you say you aren't meeting on your profile but complain that nobody attractive enough meets those criteria even though you won't be meeting anyway.

What do you want? If you don't want to compromise you need to accept that you won't be meeting any one which you say you aren't at the moment anyway .

I would never encourage anyone of any gender to compromise so it looks like you're left with the not meeting option.

The not meeting is a temporary thing whereas the whinge is a general one.

I am still getting messages anyway and some of those guys do meet my criteria, except for the single part. The frustration comes from having it offered and having to say no because my morals won't let me.

I hope that makes sense.

There are still guys that interest me (when I am meeting). I didn't mean to suggest I'll only meet guys I consider really hot. I can find guys attractive without considering them scorching hot hotties.

It's just that some really hot men do contact me but are very rarely single. Therein lies the frustration. Forbidden fruit and all that.

I understand. My advice to you VV is fuck a minger, they'll be grateful and you'll get sex."

Coffeespitkeyboard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Grass is always greener...

Personally I find the vast majority of the hot women are spoken for."

Yep,they seem to be.And weirdly,like the hot single guys,the single hot women seem to be aloof,have a list of demands as long as your arm,or arrogant.Strange correlation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this another single female moaning thread?

Yes. The OP is quite clear about that."

Sorry, I didn't read it all - just sounded like waffle to me.

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By *ee Viante OP   Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Grass is always greener...

Personally I find the vast majority of the hot women are spoken for."

I don't doubt it. I only posted about men because they're my main target stalking pool.

Mind you, I haven't heard many men say they don't want to meet cheating women.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Grass is always greener...

Personally I find the vast majority of the hot women are spoken for.

Yep,they seem to be.And weirdly,like the hot single guys,the single hot women seem to be aloof,have a list of demands as long as your arm,or arrogant.Strange correlation..."

You saying I'm not hot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been an interesting discussion from all sides anyway, great thread OP

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By *hehandymancanMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Lol made me splutter out my coffee pmsl and I do agree...ps I'm available 24/7 lol

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