FabSwingers.com forum: what is the dumbest thing you have done whilst d*unk....

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

oooh... time for a laugh of a friday night... so do your worst....

i have managed to be so d*unk on a particular new years eve that i manage to technically break my knee... and be so full of alcohol to not even feel it... so manage to dance on it all night... and then have a womani pulled sit on it for two hours on the night bus home.......

only when i got up the next day and it swelled to a stupid size then i thought "shit.... somethings wrong!!!"

so..... d*unken stories!!! and go!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put my back out to the extent that it took months and over a grand to put right...

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

No idea I don't remember! Sure Dick will tell you a few stories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put my back out to the extent that it took months and over a grand to put right...

ohhh? and how did you manage that? is there a story like the OP's? hmmm?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did similar with my ankle, I was bowling, half cut, threw the ball and fell awkwardly. I actually heard it break, but it was an important night out, I was in ridiculous fancy dress, and I new if I headed for hospital my sister would insist on coming with me, dressed as a minion. So I got up and just kept drinking to anesthatise the pain. Following day my ankle was a cankle, and very black!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

When I was in my early twenties one Halloween I discovered vodka mixed with other stuff made me d*unker than a d*unk thing.

I was so d*unk I tried to get a cab in Old Bailey by stripping off.

I went teetotal for many years not long after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

Wasn't there a thread about that back then?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

My ex

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Knocked my front teeth out (I was mildly tipsy rather than d*unk on that occasion). Fell off a ladder. Sang the Queen of Night aria in a café. Twisted my ankle numerous times. Vomited so violently my nose ring and contact lens came out. And many, many times when I have said things I really wish I hadn't. I haven't been properly d*unk in 5 years so there aren't any recent embarrassments; I'm just not a big drinker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was on a weekend away with a huge group of mates. We were out in the middle of nowhere had walked to the pub which was about 2 miles from where we were staying. I got so d*unk on Guinness and whiskey tried to walk back and on the way fell in a ditch and passed out. My mates didn't notice I was missing until a while later managed to find me but by this time I was starting with hypothermia. All in all was a good night lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scuba diving in the dark..lucky to be alive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm... Thrown up all over my fwb's parents' bathroom, stark naked, which interrupted he and I having sex.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I don't drink anymore, I got the 'never again' point and stuck with it.

There are many tales but they are in the past....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Too many to mention

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Scuba diving in the dark..lucky to be alive

Blimey you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woke up under a swing with frozen hair. Left a perfect human shape outlined in the frost covered safety matting.

Aside from the odd cut and bruise never suffered too much of an injury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in Blackpool in the 90's on a stag party and we were in a club and Kenny Thomas ( he sang-Outstanding! I think) came out to do his hit record and for some d*unk reason i thought it would ok rugby tackle him ! I got him good and proper but boy did i take a kicking off his bouncers ,the club's bouncers and lots of other people on the way out !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had the magic pint when out drinking with some work colleagues and I had to stay with one for the night, I had this jigsaw for my then gf's Christmas present, and apparently, I was so d*unk I argued with a lamppost saying that the lamppost couldn't have it because it wasn't mine to give. My colleague struggled to get it off of me while I was vomiting in his toilet, and I passed out several times clutching it professing my undying love for the blasted jigsaw on the way home.

On another note, getting d*unk at a Christmas party with colleagues from another job, I for some reason decided that attempting a your mum joke would go down well, however, being d*unk, I also decided I couldn't think of one and just called his mum a slag. Oh my days. Lucky for me, he knows I'm an arse.

There's many more, but those are two from the top ten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pinched my wife's friends pantys cum in them and gave them back, lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ferry to Amsterdam, d*unk sleep walking naked where the hell's my cabin not a good combination.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Threw up in a wire mesh waste basket.

That was successful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Proposed

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I fell over in front of a friend's parents, Trigger-style, at a BBQ when I was 17.

His mother hissed "GET him out of here!"

And then I puked outside the chippy.

Classy.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Proposed"

How many times?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got thrown out of a train station for reliving myself, well out of view or so I thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/15 21:35:00]

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Hailed a cab and asked him to take me to my hotel

Hotel was across the street

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

did you try and run into the wall between platforms 9 and 10?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Streak around Trafalgar Square .

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

How does getting shot measure up?

Teenaged and on strong cider, I offered to hold the top of an empty plastic bottle against the muzzle of my equally pissed friend's air rifle.

It could have been alot worse The pellet only grazed the web of my thumb and forefinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many things, most of which are highly illegal so I do not wish to implicate myself in any court proceedings which may or may not follow

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By *ark074Man
over a year ago

nottingham

Got in a police car and told them my address to take me home. After politely being asked to get out I proceeded to call the two officers "a pair of blowjobs". I pay my taxes and they're just cruising around doing fuck all, right? Woke up on one of those shitty thin mattresses her maj provides.

I know I shouldn't be proud but hearing the case for the prosecution reading my foul mouthed tirade to the magistrates is making me chuckle now, nearly twenty years later.

And that's not the worst thing I've done. Not by a long way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age 16, party at friends house while parents were downstairs. I thought drinking a whole bottle of peach schnapps was a good idea. Apparently I was rolling around on the bedroom floor vomiting and crying, and the parents had to drive me home on a haybale in the back of a pickup. I only lived a 2 minute walk away. Everyone got sent home early so friends mum could clean up my sick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once fell asleep on a hedge. Not in it, actually on it.

So d*unk I couldn't walk another step, no way on gods earth I was ever going to make it home in that state, so only answer, sleep where I fell.

My father found me at 4am, comatose, asking why I was asleep on a hedge and not at home.

I d*unkenly explained that I was too d*unk to make it home and apologised profusely for making him come and find me.

"No problem son" he said as he opened the gate to our back garden.....

The shame.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I once fell asleep on a hedge. Not in it, actually on it.

So d*unk I couldn't walk another step, no way on gods earth I was ever going to make it home in that state, so only answer, sleep where I fell.

My father found me at 4am, comatose, asking why I was asleep on a hedge and not at home.

I d*unkenly explained that I was too d*unk to make it home and apologised profusely for making him come and find me.

"No problem son" he said as he opened the gate to our back garden.....

The shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to sit on a wall and fell straight off it onto the otherside. Omg I can't name them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once fell asleep on a hedge. Not in it, actually on it.

So d*unk I couldn't walk another step, no way on gods earth I was ever going to make it home in that state, so only answer, sleep where I fell.

My father found me at 4am, comatose, asking why I was asleep on a hedge and not at home.

I d*unkenly explained that I was too d*unk to make it home and apologised profusely for making him come and find me.

"No problem son" he said as he opened the gate to our back garden.....

The shame.

Don't laugh.

To be honest, that's not my worst.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stopped traffic by lying in the middle of the road

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Hailed a cab and asked him to take me to my hotel"

I have got in a taxi and when asked "Where to?" I said "My house."

I once got in a taxi and said nothing as I probably couldn't and the driver took me home. Freaked me out when I realise what had happened the next day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried to climb through my bedroom window to then realise I moved house a few weeks earlier........

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I was in Blackpool in the 90's on a stag party and we were in a club and Kenny Thomas ( he sang-Outstanding! I think) came out to do his hit record and for some d*unk reason i thought it would ok rugby tackle him ! I got him good and proper but boy did i take a kicking off his bouncers ,the club's bouncers and lots of other people on the way out ! "

I lived in Blackpool in the 90s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

Do you mean the one where you d*unk a litre of vodka? And redecorated the random person's downstairs toilet with your vomit? And I made you March from Islington to King's Cross at 4am? And you kept walking into 'those stupid walls, what idiot built those there?' And you walked out in front of a bus then swore at the driver for nearly hitting you?And then you fell asleep on the concrete benches outside Kings cross? And then I was so cold I went to Scabby D's for a Coffee? And then I came back to find you being molested by a tramp?

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to let you know he survived. I saw him last year and he looked ok. He did seem a bit cagey when he sang Outstanding though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way too many occasions but my faves ( for want of a better word!! ) are:-

Throwing up in the back of a cab into my friends open handbag

Walking into a lampost resulting in 2 black eyes which I didn't know anything about until the next day when I woke up to my mum shouting wildly ~ what the hell happened to you!!

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By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Text my ex n told him I loved him.

Stupid and then some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So d*unk passed out whilst sitting on loo...spent all night sleeping it off there..talk about dead legs !!!! And mates showed pictures to everyone..bastards...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

I remember something about you getting it on with a tramp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never get that wasted where I don't know what I am doing so I don't really have any silly stories unfortunately.

First time I got d*unk though me and my gay best friend got engaged for the night and I spent an hour talking to a bush from deepest Lancashire

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By *ex_OnTheBeachCouple
over a year ago

kent ( by the seaside )

I'll keep it short,

We were out for a fancy dinner with lukes work collegues and managers and their wife's, it was all paid for by the company, luke had had quite a bit to drink and in front of his manger and his wife, he politely leant across the dining table and asked me quite loudly to "suck his cock"

I thought it would be a good idea to run in very high heels as I was being chased by a chocolate eclair, I heard and felt something go in my ankle, so took the heels off and continued running!

Woke up at 6am with a very bruised and swollen ankle! Spent a few weeks on crutches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stole a for sale sign and found it in my bedroom next morning didn't get any offers just a bollocking of the old man

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By *ex_OnTheBeachCouple
over a year ago

kent ( by the seaside )

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

I remember something about you getting it on with a tramp.

I love listening to this story, always makes me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

I remember something about you getting it on with a tramp.

I didn;t get in on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

I remember something about you getting it on with a tramp.

I didn;t get in on!

The best but was the next day when we bumped into the guy at a fetish event. I apologised to him for the mess Bike Monkey had made in hid bathroom. The guy's eyes widened and he squared up to Bike Monkey and asked 'Was that you? Did you leave that state?'

Bike Monkey look petrified and apologised. The guy then pissed himself laughing and said he was confused as the bathroom was cleaner at the end of the night than it was at the start.

You're welcome Bike Monkey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stole a for sale sign and found it in my bedroom next morning didn't get any offers just a bollocking of the old man

That's nice. I had a collection. My parents were shocked to find 6 underneath my bed when I decided I didn't want a bed anymore

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"If crystal_purrs sees this thread, I'd politely request that she doesn't mention the walk to Kings Cross at Christmas 2013

I have no idea which one you mean Bike Monkey

You missed when I almost started to cry because the wall kept walking in to me

I remember something about you getting it on with a tramp.

I didn;t get in on!

I filled in the blanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swam out to the bouys at a beach in ibiza with a fella, to hide from the police because we werent allowed on the beach..

Not a good idea when your blitzed and 18yrs old....

Ooooooh to be young again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pleading the 5th

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once under the influence I was playing footy post pub , I went to volly the ball , slipped and kicked a cast iron bin. Ouchie next morning a fractured foot

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many to mention / remember!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got married!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Joking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too embarrassed to say..

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

Lost my trousers at a house party, they were an inconvenience. Haven't touched bacardi in 13+ years. Cath.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Found a chap asleep in a urinal at creamfields today, one of those green cube ones you get at festivals with four 'stations' if you will.

Sat in it he was, arms on the side like a throne, cosy as hell looking and comatose bless him.

Suffice to say I took a picture and woke him up

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

While d*unk i'm relatively sensible......LSD, on the other hand, is an entirely different fish

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Found a chap asleep in a urinal at creamfields today, one of those green cube ones you get at festivals with four 'stations' if you will.

Sat in it he was, arms on the side like a throne, cosy as hell looking and comatose bless him.

Suffice to say I took a picture and woke him up

Would he have passed the Paul Hollywood test or did he have a soggy bottom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Found a chap asleep in a urinal at creamfields today, one of those green cube ones you get at festivals with four 'stations' if you will.

Sat in it he was, arms on the side like a throne, cosy as hell looking and comatose bless him.

Suffice to say I took a picture and woke him up

Would he have passed the Paul Hollywood test or did he have a soggy bottom?

they weren't full so not soggy, but i imagine damp and smelling of stale piss...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making out with the gf on her front step, not realising I was leaning against the doorbell, until an angry father dressed in pj's opened the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got into bed with a gf sister by mistake and had a good slap from the two of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fell off bed during extremely d*unken vigorous sex and put my head through a plaster board wall getting it pretty stuck, cue rather frustrated and pissed off lady friend spending the next ten minutes trying to free without ripping my ears off. Good times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got into the seat part of a supermarket trolley thinking it was funny .... Waiting for friends to pull my wedge body out was Not ! Strangely never done it again.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Work party 2 jugs of cocktails in an hour....went to toilet...fell asleep passed out.....boss had to get me put me at table....slobbering everywhere in tiger tiger in London...they had to get 2 illegal taxis to try and get me home from my driving licence address......

On way home woke up realised I was in a cab opened the door and threw up everywhere

Or the night I was crawling round Athens due to oozo

An intern accused me of looking at her tits at which point I said yes they are very nice and you arse isn't half bad either bending my neck to purposely look at it

- Monday morning was interesting

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

I lived in Blackpool in the 90s"
i still do its not changed much

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By *bbitMan
over a year ago

Watford

Was a bungee jump for me in kavos ,,,,, got to the top having been bathing to the German safety guys ,,, when all of a sudden they couldn't speak English ,,, pfffffffff,,,, it's ok guys I've paid so take me back down ,,,,,, the pointed to the ground , I stepped off ,,,,,,,,,,,,,wow glad I done it but never again ,,,,, once on the ground I was as sober as a judge and was hoping and skipping glad to be alive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Managed to forget where I'd put my car

Before we went out on the piss

Bit scary when I walked onto the drive the next morning and my car wasn't there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The dumbest thing I did when I was d*unk was a lad called Kevin .....

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