FabSwingers.com forum: No show meets

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Okay I know there are a lot of posts about people flaking on a meet. However, how about you are the person who never showed for one reason or another. Having done this yesterday for the first time due to financial reasons. Do you feel that people should give you another chance if you flake?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Did you let them know in advance? If so we would probably give a second chance. Of not, no we wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if you contacted them before hand before they booked a hotel or where it was, financial in what way?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ? "

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had to cancel last minute due to the trains being cancelled unexpectedly. Only time I've done it. I was too embarrassed to reschedule as I thought he'd assume I was a dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But did you let them know or just not turn up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends entirely on the situation. Some people you know are just fucking you about, others have a genuine excuse. Genuine excuse then I would give a second chance, fucking me about, not a chance at all!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I've only pulled out because of work, family and illness. I've always told them as soon as I knew.

Some have given me a second chance, others haven't.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget."

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But did you let them know or just not turn up?"

They knew as it happened as messaged on here was meant to be a group social party not one on one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget."

your horrendous hangover must have cost plenty

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"But did you let them know or just not turn up?

They knew as it happened as messaged on here was meant to be a group social party not one on one."

I don't really see a problem then.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?"

I think this has been centered around my situation. I was more focusing on other peoples experiences.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?

I think this has been centered around my situation. I was more focusing on other peoples experiences. "

To be fair you made it personal by mentioning your own situation but I take your point and as I've already made mine I'll push off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?

I think this has been centered around my situation. I was more focusing on other peoples experiences. "
It read as it was you tho?.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?

I think this has been centered around my situation. I was more focusing on other peoples experiences.

To be fair you made it personal by mentioning your own situation but I take your point and as I've already made mine I'll push off

Actually you have some really good points

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never not shown up. I've had to cancel because of illness or a family emergency. I always tell them as soon as I know

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We have bailed on party invites, but only when Jayne has been ill, and we always let them know we cant make it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But did you let them know or just not turn up?

They knew as it happened as messaged on here was meant to be a group social party not one on one."

Puzzled why the "cost on the door" became an issue...... Unless it was unreasonably high....so their problem rather than yours?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have cancelled in the past, and have let them know and updated as much as possible, however, the few times I have cancelled it happens to have been with people I've already met.

So not really cancellations but more rescheduling.

Also I've never had a new meet cancel on me, but on an odd rare occasion had to change plans with a regular because something has come up in their life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why have you organised a meet if you can't afford to go ?

Long story but was meant to be free but mix up meant a price on the door that took the night out of my budget.

Did you explain this? Or is this an attempt to explain publicly because you are now unable to do so privately?

I think this has been centered around my situation. I was more focusing on other peoples experiences.

To be fair you made it personal by mentioning your own situation but I take your point and as I've already made mine I'll push off

Actually you have some really good points

Blimey!!! Have I? That's not like me at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I've had to change a meet has been when kids are ill .... Thankfully hasn't happen often and the other person was happy to rearrange

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

I always try to let someone know if I'm going to be late or need to cancel. If they wish to reschedule I'm happy to as it was my fault.

I would never not show up, but if they don't notify me I don't agree to a second chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason"

I guess cos it's rude and a waste of the other person's time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason"

Of course, it's the ones who just don't turn up without a reason that are the pains.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason"

Yep no ones saying they can't. If I arranged to meet a friend for coffee I would let them know if I couldn't go its just good manners really nothing to do with legal obligation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason"

Did someone say you aren't allowed to cancel? No one is obligated to do anything with anyone but it's good practice to let someone know you can't make it,the same as you would with a friend or family member. Some people don't bother turning up and don't say they aren't coming. That's plain rude and not something an adult should do.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason

Or expect a second chance if that is their MO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay I know there are a lot of posts about people flaking on a meet. However, how about you are the person who never showed for one reason or another. Having done this yesterday for the first time due to financial reasons. Do you feel that people should give you another chance if you flake?"
unless they let me know, i fuck em off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we all can have situation where we cannot meet, manners and decency you would let the other person/s know, if i got cancelled and they let me know i would be fine, if they just did a no show then i'd fuck em off not block just ignore and put note on profile not to engage with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All it takes is a text tho saying they cant come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes very true good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op why did you not explain the financial reasons, they might of helped you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah unfortunately last year we'd been looking forward to meeting a guy for months, the morning of the meet arrives, I didn't feel great but brushed it off. Soon I was doubled up in agony and rushed off to hospital with a ruptured appendix, had to have emergency surgery that evening. I showed the guy pics of my cannula in my hand but at the time I'm not sure he was entirely convinced

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah unfortunately last year we'd been looking forward to meeting a guy for months, the morning of the meet arrives, I didn't feel great but brushed it off. Soon I was doubled up in agony and rushed off to hospital with a ruptured appendix, had to have emergency surgery that evening. I showed the guy pics of my cannula in my hand but at the time I'm not sure he was entirely convinced "

As unfortunate as that spunds I think I would of thought the worst and not interested. Glad you recovered though

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I've had to pull out of meets with only a few hours notice a couple of times. The reasons were genuine but I felt awful.

I've never just not turned up, and I wouldn't unless something very serious happened and I was unconscious or something and unable to let my meet know.

I didn't ask the meets I let down for a second chance and they didn't offer one.

If someone cancelled on me at short notice, I might give them another chance depending on the circumstances. I wouldn't give a no show another chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one's legally obliged to meet anyone are they? There's no pre written contract, why shouldn't anyone be allowed to cancel for whatever reason

That's the whole point. People have real life things in the real life world which quite often happen meaning people need to cancel or change their fab life plans. The way some people react to cancelling a meet its as if the person cancelling has kicked a kitten or something. If their reason is legit then no need to flame them, block them, whatever them.

Granted if they don't turn up or fob you off with some make believe story then by all means stage a public execution for them.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I've only ever once not shown for a meet as I collapsed and had an epileptic fit while waiting for the bus to go to said meet and came to pin hospital as a bystander called an ambulance for me. It's was very legitimate but when I went to contact them as soon as I was able to I'd already been blocked. I guess they assumed I was a time waster and even if I could message then there's no guarantee they would have believed me as I do understand it could seem far fetched

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they just didn't turn up I would certainly not give a 2nd chance.

If they did cancel before hand and I had a gut feeling they were just playing me then I would go with my feeling and not give another chance either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you said you could not because of money is fine . Just don't mess people around tell them so they don't get ready and feel let down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I can't give an exact date I'm going to be free and they want one. There's only so many times you can say I don't know about that date before they get fed up asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes I can't give an exact date I'm going to be free and they want one. There's only so many times you can say I don't know about that date before they get fed up asking. "

We have this too, S works shifts but is also on call so it can't be helped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As unfortunate as that spunds I think I would of thought the worst and not interested. Glad you recovered though"

Cheers. If you send someone a pic of you in a hospital gown though it would be a lot of effort to fake a no show

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only had one no show and after booking a hotel, driving 40miles and arranging childcare. I would never give a second chance or go out my way so much again. Harsh but true, the few spoil it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we can all send a txt or phone at some point to say why not... i had a meet arranged he no showed then a week later messaged for a meet as if it was all normal, yes in rare circumstances may prevent from a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol."

you can be cruel, lol go eat some haribos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol."

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring to"
I know but it wasn't aimed for anyone. I meant as a general thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring toI know but it wasn't aimed for anyone. I meant as a general thing."

So what did you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring toI know but it wasn't aimed for anyone. I meant as a general thing.

So what did you mean?"
I thought it was pretty clear? That most things happends on a meet day for most. Why cant it be the day before or after?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had to cancel due to mother nature arriving early. Can't wait for this mess to stop all together. Then I can fuck all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring toI know but it wasn't aimed for anyone. I meant as a general thing.

So what did you mean?I thought it was pretty clear? That most things happends on a meet day for most. Why cant it be the day before or after?."

.....that's the whole point of the thread dude

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I've had to cancel on the day of a meet before, I gave them 6-7 hours notice but I got blocked for it.

Never been a no show, too many good manners I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its strange how "everything" is happening on just that day aint it? lol.

You need to hit reply so the person knows who you're referring toI know but it wasn't aimed for anyone. I meant as a general thing.

So what did you mean?I thought it was pretty clear? That most things happends on a meet day for most. Why cant it be the day before or after?.

.....that's the whole point of the thread dude"
lol yes, wanted just to point it out abit more

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"I had a guy messages me for weeks then on the day he kept phoning saying he was delayed but was still coming. By the time I realised he wasn't coming I had wasted the whole day waiting. Sorry going to name and shame him ."

Enjoy your time out from the forums

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