FabSwingers.com forum: A thread about men and how they learn about sex.

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I'll start by saying... if you are going to post that this is sexist because it is only asking about men... yeah so what! You may add your "this also applies to women" comments.

Anyway.... do you think you can spot the difference between a guy who has learnt most of his sexual techniques and activities from practice, reading how women react and respond, adapting and being experimental... and those who watched it in a porno and thought "that's the way to do it" ; possibly believing if it’s in a porn film, women MUST love it being done to them in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep - without a doubt.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

So what are the main clues?

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

When the guy says....."And Action"

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"So what are the main clues?"

they come dressed as a plumber with a big moustache..

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

Isn't that Mario?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Isn't that Mario?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i say, to hell with either _iews.

a bit of porn, a bit of tenderness, a bit of fun all rolled into one.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Isn't that Mario?

No naming and shaming please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's not ashamed !

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By *y_funcoupleCouple
over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

Hey times are hard, Ive had to lay my "Fluffer" off

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When they tend to try and shove a 12" cock up a dry arse i guess they been watching too much porn.

I guy who curls his hand slightly when inserting it has been listening and watching thats the only thing i can think of at this moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

looks for the 2 staples across your tummy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. "

that's why escorts are so helpful!!!!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I have only met one guy who did this.... but one is enough. Between every (and I mean EVERY) position change, everything stopped whilst he stood up, rearranged where I was and then got back on the bed and started again in the new position. Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) was a smooth seemless movement from one thing to another. I blamed bad editing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately 'practice' isn't really the issue.No two women ever react in exactly the same way to a similar stimulation.It's more if the man in question has the desire or the patience to 'listen' to what the woman's body is telling him.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"I have only met one guy who did this.... but one is enough. Between every (and I mean EVERY) position change, everything stopped whilst he stood up, rearranged where I was and then got back on the bed and started again in the new position. Nothing (and I mean NOTHING) was a smooth seemless movement from one thing to another. I blamed bad editing."

And you never suspected the hidden camera?.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what are the main clues?"

Barbarella... required wanking material for all teenage boys and it's the very first rung on the ladder to pleasure.

Taught me loads that film.

Debbie Does Dallas is another. All I needed to know about anal sex with girls.

Animal Farm was one to miss though.

What else...

Um....

... picked it up along the way really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparantly.....

And it must be true cuz it was on "sally jessie raphael"

Men who CANT kiss, CANT fuck proper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparantly.....

And it must be true cuz it was on "sally jessie raphael"

Men who CANT kiss, CANT fuck proper

Now that's not true. I'm not the world's best kisser cos bascially I don't like it very much, but I have two kids I know of so I must be doing something right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh anyone can make a baby....

says so on jezza kyle

so must be true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh anyone can make a baby....

says so on jezza kyle

so must be true

I must be a crap shag then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awwwwwwwww...

go practise ya kissing on the mirror

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

whats to learn.i hear mrs saucy moaning enough.beds the only place,i know she wont be moaning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. "

OMG almost wet myself reading this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. "

You met my ex then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the guys do that slapping your pussy with their cock thing - whats that all about!!!!

And when they, in the middle of taking you from behind, decide to give you a quick slap and then quickly grab hold of your hips in case they "fall out".

Pulling hair, putting their hand on my jaw and squeezing, which makes my lips look really bloody stupid

Being forceful with fingers and cocks etc.

You can tell when a guy knows a womans body. He just hits the spot very quickly, he will try a couple of moves to find out if you are a gentle loving girl or liking it a big rougher kind of girl and once hes found out, by hearing the appropriate ooo and ahhh, he will continue in their vein, just getting better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When the guys do that slapping your pussy with their cock thing - whats that all about!!!!

And when they, in the middle of taking you from behind, decide to give you a quick slap and then quickly grab hold of your hips in case they "fall out".

Pulling hair, putting their hand on my jaw and squeezing, which makes my lips look really bloody stupid

Being forceful with fingers and cocks etc.

something different. keeping girls interested with new things is not easy...some of u like some of u don't

but its like why gyp equipment keeps changing. to keep u entertained while exercising. so u don't get bored..

some times its a flop, some times it's not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's many a guy who haven't a clue where to locate the clitoris...most just try and get as many fingers inside as possible thinking thats all it takes. no wonder I end up taking and using toys :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hand on your JAW ! Squeezing ? I'd kill the fugger !

Who ARE you having sex with ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hand on your JAW ! Squeezing ? I'd kill the fugger !

Who ARE you having sex with ? "

That's a technique I use for getting a ball out of my dogs mouth. He don't like it either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/11/10 20:01:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit its never happened to me, Id punch them in the balls if they did it. When I typed "makes my lips look really stupid" I mean it would make my lips look really stupid - my fingers and brain dont work in synch very often

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

ain't nothing as sexy or beautiful as a lady in the throes of ecstacy. So watch and listen to their involuntary responses and we soon get to where we want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hand on your JAW ! Squeezing ? I'd kill the fugger !

Who ARE you having sex with ?

That's a technique I use for getting a ball out of my dogs mouth. He don't like it either

NotJack. That made me laugh out loud xxx Maybe he feels like your biatch!

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"ain't nothing as sexy or beautiful as a lady in the throes of ecstacy. So watch and listen to their involuntary responses and we soon get to where we want to be."

good advice.buy them a rabbit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was with one playmate, when he was about to cum he pulled out, whipped off the condom and started spraying his cum all around my bedroom!

To say I was livid is an understatement: who would do that in someone's home?!!

My daughter always threw herself on my bed when she came in from college so I had to do a forensic clean up!

Another grabbed hold of my hair but a backward kick to his nuts soon released his grip!

Another touched my clit a couple of times and was surprised I didn't arch my back moan and groan, squirt like Old Faithful and say yeah, yeah, fuck me big boy!!!

Bless em one and all!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. "

and things you will ride him cowgirl with tits bouncing whilst tossing back your flowing locks and shouting "G your good!".

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. "
whats wrong with number ten on the list?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. whats wrong with number ten on the list?

tch she forgot to mention the spit

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Cluse - NOT wholly inclusive.......

1. They ask you to squirt tons of cum on their cock or face to order!

2. They imagine face fucking is pleasant for a choking woman with mascara and tears running down her eye sockets.

3. They don't know how to arouse women so slap on some lube as if they were oiling the car.

4. They can't believe you haven't got a female friend who would be happy to nip over n join in.

5. Shocked that you don't take it up the arse.

6. Doubly shocked if you suggest they do.

7. Wonders why you don't moan n scream deletive expletives as soon as he touches you.

8. Doesn't like the punch he gets when he pull your hair.

9. Over reacts to innocent words like butt, ram , 'flange' , my neighbours Dick n Fanny.

10. Tries to enter your arse without any invite OR lube.

11. Thinks all women will squirt as long as he keep thrusting two bloody fingers half way up the vag, like Woody the soddin Woodpecker.

12. Thinks it's okay to call you dirty names.

13. Looks like Wagner ....

14. Feels he's done a good job as he limps out ten seconds later. whats wrong with number ten on the list?

tch she forgot to mention the spit"
i thought so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh ive loved reading this. But most is sooo true..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Femme n BeNice....... you are right ...... Jesus !

NUMBER 10. Tries to enter your arse without invite OR lube OR stopping to take his chewing tobacco out before spitting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

AND......

Can't imagine why you dont fancy his dog as much as he does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haaaaaaa Hahahaaaa ....

AND....

Is UTTERLY TRULY DESTROYED when a day on the farm turns out to be tractor rides and feedin guinea pigs !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i learnt a lot of my mums mate, i was 21 she was 42,best 3 days i had ever!!!

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By *WLondonMixMan
over a year ago

Willsden/DollisHill

"Hand on your JAW ! Squeezing ? I'd kill the fugger !

Who ARE you having sex with ?

That's a technique I use for getting a ball out of my dogs mouth. He don't like it either

Lol comment of the entire post.

Naturally someone hit the spot when saying every woman is different with what they like but there is only so many differences. With experience I personally learned the basics of what most partners like, so you do trial and error, but smoothly. For example when using the tongue starting with no fingers and moving in circular motion the up down n side to side to see which angle gives most pleasure then couple that with a finger or two and try different movements and just be natural and not let it be forced. Experience is by far the best teacher.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this has been the best thread i have seen for a long while. never laughed so much.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"... do you think you can spot the difference between a guy who has learnt most of his sexual techniques and activities from practice, reading how women react and respond, adapting and being experimental... and those who watched it in a porno and thought "that's the way to do it" ; possibly believing if it’s in a porn film, women MUST love it being done to them in real life.

I can only have sex if I'm dressed as a plumber or delivery man and there is some cheesy music in the background. Does that answer your question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i learnt a lot of my mums mate, i was 21 she was 42,best 3 days i had ever!!!"

Day 1. Dishes

Day 2. Putting your skiddies in the basket.

Day 3. Responding to no without displaying a titty lip.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

as I have only ever been with one woman I've learnt all I know from her

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By *eridotWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

"as I have only ever been with one woman I've learnt all I know from her

And as you have to take her out of the box and blow her up before use, wonder just how much 'she' managed to teach!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"this has been the best thread i have seen for a long while. never laughed so much.

I agree....so nice to see a thread without arguments and bad vibes (no pun intended :P)

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