FabSwingers.com forum: 3 stone on..... marriage off

By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In sickness and in health. Every marriage or relationship has it's ups and downs. Too many people take the easy way out when things don't go there way. My parents being a prime example (that's a story in it's own right

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he wanted a divorce because I'd put on weight I would happily give it to him.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I'm shallow enough to be disappointed if a bloke started packing on weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of things can change over time,what if he lost his hair? I accept changes

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

but like she said how many people just let themselves go as soon as they settle down?

my mum would always put make up on and freshen up for my dads return home as an example

they were happily married for years

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I lost 3 stone after years of battling with my weight & he left me for someone the size I was!!

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"I lost 3 stone after years of battling with my weight & he left me for someone the size I was!!

oh dear

but look what you gained in the long run

sounds a twat

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a difficult one. There are too many other factors to take into consideration but neither of us look like we did 35 years ago....how could we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lost 3 stone after years of battling with my weight & he left me for someone the size I was!!

I lost 5st through illness and my ex did exactly the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been married for 18 years (3kids). We owe it to each other to make an effort, stay in shape, take good care of our bodies and of the relationship.

If either one "let's himself go" it may mean they don't really care or are taking the other for granted.

The exception of course is if there is a medical condition affecting them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a complex question. We all change and evolve over time and that is often physically as well as emotionally. If someone put weight on it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but the underlying reasons for it could be a far bigger issue

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

if you didn't fancy your partner would it put you in the arms of someone you did?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was my marriage

The whole reason my marriage broke down was because I gained weight, when we met I weighted about 8 stone after the birth of my 3rd child I was 15 stone, he wouldn't touch me, always calling me names, calling me a fat cow, beached whale etc he even tough my daughter to call me blubber, I wasn't allowed to walk round the house in anything other than fully clothed, I came out the bathroom once in just a towel and he told me to get dressed as I was making him feel sick, he said if he wanted a fat wife he would have married one, we didn't have sex for the last 8 years of our marriage and ultimately he left me for a thinner model who he had been having an affair with for years

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/15 09:42:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but like she said how many people just let themselves go as soon as they settle down?

my mum would always put make up on and freshen up for my dads return home as an example

they were happily married for years "

What did your dad do for your mum to keep her attracted to him? I never wore make up or nice clothes. I wore comfortable clothes I could do my housework and shopping in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?"

weight changes, people as a whole don't. it's in the name "hopkins" shes the witchfinder general even though she herself is one by the way she is (a mean person)

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

Christ he was a bigger cock than I thought!

Well done you lady... a) for getting shot, b) for getting your own back on the weight loss and c) being a better person than he'll ever be!

And for the record, I've only met you once and you probably don't remember but I think you should try and have more confidence in yourself... I'm willing to bet that there are a whole heap of men who don't contact you cause they think you're out of their league. I hope that doesn't sound totally patronising, it's not meant to at all. I thought you were a very pretty lady when I met you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of things can change over time,what if he lost his hair? I accept changes"

There is more to a person then looks . Its just one part .

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

In my eyes, if Bradley wanted a divorce because I'd put on weight, he wouldn't be the one for me anyway as I'd lose a lot of respect for him - he couldn't have thought that much of me in the first place if he was willing to leave me over something that could be changed.

With two Little'uns under 2, I'm often covered in baby vomit, my hair and skin look a mess, the house is a shit hole and I'm lucky if I get time to have a shower, let alone have time to shave my legs or work out, etc.

Luckily for me, he's not that shallow.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?"

I was in a relationship for 21 years lost 6 stone in weight he fucked off for a fatter model!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In sickness and in health. Every marriage or relationship has it's ups and downs. Too many people take the easy way out when things don't go there way. My parents being a prime example (that's a story in it's own right

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

What gave you the motivation to do that after he left rather than while he was still there? I'm not suggesting anything by that question but he does seem to have hindered rather than encouraged.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at the woman who marry some very old man she looks like a super model and its just Money ... looks play no part big or small its the Money or she would never be there .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of things can change over time,what if he lost his hair? I accept changes

There is more to a person then looks . Its just one part . "

Of course. But looks could also mean you stopped caring or making an effort.

For example: would you stop shaving your legs during winter if you had a steady partner as you couldn't be bothered just to do it for him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of things can change over time,what if he lost his hair? I accept changes

There is more to a person then looks . Its just one part .

Of course. But looks could also mean you stopped caring or making an effort.

For example: would you stop shaving your legs during winter if you had a steady partner as you couldn't be bothered just to do it for him?

"
When you really love a person you over look things . Some can do that and still be very happy as the good points out number the bad in the person you care about.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

What gave you the motivation to do that after he left rather than while he was still there? I'm not suggesting anything by that question but he does seem to have hindered rather than encouraged."

I would guess at having the confidence to do it. If you have someone around you 24/7 making you feel like shit, you'd fall into depression and lack any motivation to do anything about it. Plus it's then being done for the wrong reasons.

Weight loss or not, I would've ditched his ass. He clearly had no respect for you so why should he reap the benefits of your hard work when he didn't appreciate what you'd been through before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gained weight during my marriage through illness and being in an abusive relationship... After the marriage ended I lost over 4st in a little under 6 months ... I call it the stress diet.. Not recommended but it got me back down to the size I was before I was married and I have pretty much stayed the same weight in the intervening 5 years

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When I was with my ex husband I put on tons of weight, it started with pregnancy then gained more after, he never once commented.

I've lost nearly 11 stone while I've been with jay, he's with me for he loves me, but I look nothing like when we first met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was with my ex husband I put on tons of weight, it started with pregnancy then gained more after, he never once commented.

I've lost nearly 11 stone while I've been with jay, he's with me for he loves me, but I look nothing like when we first met

"
Don't that just show you how much he loves you ........And its more then how you look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but like she said how many people just let themselves go as soon as they settle down?

my mum would always put make up on and freshen up for my dads return home as an example

they were happily married for years

What did your dad do for your mum to keep her attracted to him? I never wore make up or nice clothes. I wore comfortable clothes I could do my housework and shopping in. "

This

Why is it always about the woman making an effort for the man? Makes me mad.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?"

Not simple.

If the weight gain is due to being a lazy bastard with a love of burgers with no interest in the family then it's the 'lazy' and the 'love of self' that makes you divorce them.

If the weight is due to illness or just a little natural expansion in the 'mid years' then no you don't divorce them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've gone up two dress sizes since I met my other half. Gained a horrid belly throzgh pregnancy too. He did mention it a few years ago to which I responded he should look in the mirror.

I don't care how much weight he puts on I still fancy the pants off him. I always worry whether he fancies me or not it used to depress me. But a few things happened that made me realise I'm OK.

Thats why I asked for permission to play. Since I started my OK confidence is now pretty solid. The bonus? He finds me sexier now than ever and I haven't lost a lb

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

P.S.

If you no longer fancy someone because they don't look like they looked when you met them and your marriage has no other factors that keep you together then you are best out of it in any case.

Personally I couldn't stop liking someone because they got fat.

I may not have sex with them.

I may dislike certain things about them

but the person comes before the size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/15 10:31:45]

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Someone I know, their wife put a lot of weight on after children, she openly admitted that she'd had her children, now she didn't need to care about how she looked.

Suppose it depends on the reasons and values behind the weight gain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

What gave you the motivation to do that after he left rather than while he was still there? I'm not suggesting anything by that question but he does seem to have hindered rather than encouraged."

Honest answer?

I hated the way I looked but I refused to loose weight for him

Defiance really I guess, I used to sit and eat cream cakes in front of him just to piss him off, I'm not even that fond of them to be honest

Our marriage was broken for a long time before we split and its hard to want to make someone you no longer love happy, it was all down to my weight though, we was perfectly happy before the birth of my 3rd child, I never had a weight problem till I had her buy it all went down hill from there

The first Tuesdays after he left me I joined slimming world

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"P.S.

If you no longer fancy someone because they don't look like they looked when you met them and your marriage has no other factors that keep you together then you are best out of it in any case."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"P.S.

If you no longer fancy someone because they don't look like they looked when you met them and your marriage has no other factors that keep you together then you are best out of it in any case.

Personally I couldn't stop liking someone because they got fat.

I may not have sex with them.

I may dislike certain things about them

but the person comes before the size."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

Wow. What a bullying sadistic sad excuse for a cunt!

Seems to me if you could lose 7 stone after he went that the marriage is what caused you a lot of unhappiness. xx

Congrats xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

"Look at the woman who marry some very old man she looks like a super model and its just Money ... looks play no part big or small its the Money or she would never be there ."

Not always Jo. Not always.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

"It's a complex question. We all change and evolve over time and that is often physically as well as emotionally. If someone put weight on it wouldn't be a deal breaker, but the underlying reasons for it could be a far bigger issue"
Everything you say is true, Somethings you can see others you can,t As human beings we all share some of These things in our lives its how we deal with them that Counts, A good example is food no Change there then I know but a lot of Good food is aimed at people who can Afford it "any health Issues" Associated with it are brushed aside no Mention of them, the old adage of Common sense should come into view then but the food I,m talking about is Food recommended by top chefs, writers Etc I,m not disclaiming the food does Not sound nice, its the calories Associated with such meals, people Have said to me well limit the amount Of sugar, cream, you use I have and the flavour changes completely, once You have sampled these beautiful dishes nothing compares, I have in reality stopped useing sugar and salt, even cream on a regular basis to what I did, but your 4 star 5 star michelin Chefs have no real substitute for replaceing such Ingredients they mention in their meals and I don,t Suppose they ever will they are not being Ignorant but can,t cater for many of the status quo that have health Issues or close to which I find Sad but Ironically its understandable, When you get to these stages in your life the word common sense gets harder to understand till your health starts To suffer and its when you start to Really enjoy your food most, being seasonable food I wonder if its not to Long to Indulge the temptation is there like it is for many.... sorry for perhaps going off track a bit more A rant I think..

for such Things It gets harder as you get older If other things don,t...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its always about the girl what about the guy fat and bald by 40

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By *andm288Couple
over a year ago

oxford

We have been together for well over 5 years & yes we have both put on a little weight but J is still as sexy as they day I met her even with a few curves

So in answer to the question

For better or for worse

I'm in for life !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

What gave you the motivation to do that after he left rather than while he was still there? I'm not suggesting anything by that question but he does seem to have hindered rather than encouraged.

Honest answer?

I hated the way I looked but I refused to loose weight for him

Defiance really I guess, I used to sit and eat cream cakes in front of him just to piss him off, I'm not even that fond of them to be honest

The first Tuesdays after he left me I joined slimming world "

Well, his loss! I've often looked at your profile and thought you were sexy and curvy (as you regularly contribute on forums, I'm not a stalker lol) I'd love to see it for myself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of things can change over time,what if he lost his hair? I accept changes

There is more to a person then looks . Its just one part .

Of course. But looks could also mean you stopped caring or making an effort.

For example: would you stop shaving your legs during winter if you had a steady partner as you couldn't be bothered just to do it for him?

I shave my legs, under arms and lady bits every day, lady bits slightly less often, i do that cus i like to be smooth for hubby and also cus thats how i like to be ... smooth.

I struggle at times as i work full time at a very physically and mentally demading job and i am disabled and have had a recent operation abd am awaiting another operation so it is tiring and painful for me but i do it cus thats how i am and how i like to be

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?"

Your post is a good one apart from the first sentence.

She is a vile harpy and should be curtailed.

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By *arkestDesires666Couple
over a year ago

linconshire

"If he wanted a divorce because I'd put on weight I would happily give it to him. "

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By *edkent69Man
over a year ago

maidstone

I stood by my wife when her weight went up after our second child was born. Never failed to tell her she looked beautiful.

Got repaid by her having an affair, and eventually separating.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

I love my guy for who he is. It would make no difference to me if he halved or doubled in size. People whose relationships depends on physical looks to succeed are going to be in trouble when they age. None of us can keep the looks of our youth.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"I lost 3 stone after years of battling with my weight & he left me for someone the size I was!!

My always put me down , short, fat, ugly ,worthless .Now he's married to an older uglier and much fatter woman than i ever was . Happy for him and her they deserve each other .

I'm happy not to far off the shape, not weight i'd like to be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

What gave you the motivation to do that after he left rather than while he was still there? I'm not suggesting anything by that question but he does seem to have hindered rather than encouraged.

Honest answer?

I hated the way I looked but I refused to loose weight for him

Defiance really I guess, I used to sit and eat cream cakes in front of him just to piss him off, I'm not even that fond of them to be honest

The first Tuesdays after he left me I joined slimming world "

Glad you're in a better place now

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Katie Hopkins asked a good question last night

if your appearance changed with weight gain and your partner just didn't fancy you now would you divorce them?

should you try to stay as the person they married?"

We've been together since our teens, so have both changed quite a bit since then. We haven't traded each other in, yet anyway.

No one can stay the same forever, physically or otherwise.

My weight has changed and jumped about quite a bit over the years. Never once has Mr B said anything bad about it or made me feel unattractive to him (even when I've felt that way myself)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This was my marriage

I suppose I can see where he was coming from, if your not attracted to far women you can't help that

I did get my own back though by loosing 7 stone after he left

Wow. What a bullying sadistic sad excuse for a cunt!

Seems to me if you could lose 7 stone after he went that the marriage is what caused you a lot of unhappiness. xx

Congrats xx "

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Iwonder whether it is not necessarily the weight gain but possible about the change in the person - perhaps that person has become less confident, less outgoing, less sociable - who knows. Maybe that is more a turning point in a relationship as sometimes the opposite can be true, people loose weight, change their appearance for the better and their partner may not be happy with the new confident outgoing person.

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"but like she said how many people just let themselves go as soon as they settle down?

my mum would always put make up on and freshen up for my dads return home as an example

they were happily married for years

What did your dad do for your mum to keep her attracted to him? I never wore make up or nice clothes. I wore comfortable clothes I could do my housework and shopping in. "

he didn't need to as he was always a really handsome man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but like she said how many people just let themselves go as soon as they settle down?

my mum would always put make up on and freshen up for my dads return home as an example

they were happily married for years

What did your dad do for your mum to keep her attracted to him? I never wore make up or nice clothes. I wore comfortable clothes I could do my housework and shopping in.

he didn't need to as he was always a really handsome man "

I have no idea what to make of that comment

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By *uby0000 OP Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my hubby says he loves me whatever size I am in fact he encourages me to eat the wrong things

he has changed a heck of a lot but I still love him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd have no problem telling Mrsdpt about gaining three stone and would expect the same in return,

For either of us to gain three stone isn't particularly healthy, so can't see any reason not to say anything. (Presuming this is through excessive eating and lack of exercise)

Certainly wouldn't call off a marriage or anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put 3 stone on and your partner is no longer attracted to you , there are 2 ways to look at it .

1 . By putting the weight on you have shown no respect for your partner , and may deserve to lose him or her . Particularly if you know full well your partner doesn't like the larger person sexually .

2 . If you lose your feelings towards your partner because of the weight gain , you could be seen as shallow and perhaps should see through the size , and remember the person you fell in love with .

But as is so often said on here , we all have preferences and shouldn't be judged for them . So if our partners move drastically from one weight to another through sheer gluttony , then my opinion is that the relationship is ultimately doomed anyway .

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

I wouldn't end a marriage due to weight but I tend to like a wide variety of shapes and sizes.

In a marriage, on most issues, it's about communication if you want it to continue.

That doesn't take into account people who turn into horrible manipulating bully's or nags.. Those you are best shot of..

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By *verysmileMan
over a year ago

Canterbury

[Removed by poster at 22/08/15 18:54:21]

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