FabSwingers.com forum: How good are you at

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I'm absolutely fine with it,I'm grounded,I'm realistic and I don't have a massive ego

As for rejecting other people,It's not always nice especially when you seem to he doing it on a regular basis but I'm always polite about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection is just part and parcel of every day living, I just dust myself off and try again. When I do have success I enjoy it to the max.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try & be polite when rejecting someone on here especially if they have obviously read my profile.

I stamp my feet & stick my bottom lip out if I get rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?"

On here? It really doesn't bother us, just as we don't feel bad about rejecting others. I imagine it could be different for single people if they're looking for more than just casual hookups... but if that's what they want then they're on the wrong site IMO.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Normal state of affairs for me so I'm fine with it. I don't get many abusive messages when I reject others either, although I always find it uncomfortable when I have to tell someone 'no'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger I took it hard and to heart but as I have got older it's just water of a ducks back. Everyone has preferences and taste just because your not someone's isn't a bad thing.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I'm absolutely fine with it,I'm grounded,I'm realistic and I don't have a massive ego

As for rejecting other people,It's not always nice especially when you seem to he doing it on a regular basis but I'm always polite about it"

This!

I think it's much easier to live with rejection if you don't take it personally. It may be that it is personal, i.e. you're too old/fat/young/thin/etc. but that's only for some people. To another you will be perfect.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I've no problem being rejected, we all have been rejected for things through out life.

I'm polite when rejecting someone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

On here we smile and move along wishing the people who reject us genuinely well. In other life we both try to take it on the chin, be graceful and adult about it then go home, curl up in a ball and suck our thumbs.

We try to reject people politely on here never giving personal reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually when I'm rejected I start to question what I was even thinking approaching them. A quick email telling them what I really think of them and I'm over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In clubs and parties I never ever make the first move but on fab I'm fine withr rejection.

I just never know how to approach people in clubs as I know how I personally don't like to be touched without asking but then asking can sometimes feel Like a mood spoiler x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Usually when I'm rejected I start to question what I was even thinking approaching them. A quick email telling them what I really think of them and I'm over it

Its like reverse beer goggles isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I advoid putting myself in situations where I maybe rejected

I'm not a very confident person, and althoght I'm not a stupid person and I do realise nobody is for everybody and if I am rejected I take it as an adult inside I does, to me, confirm what I already knew, that I'm not attractive, and being told that isnt nice for anybody so I avoid putting myself in a position where I have to be told that

I would never mail a guy first on here, i have in the past but its never worked for me doing it that way, there are bloody loads that I see everyday and would love to talk to but would never make the first move, I work on the assumption of they like me they will mail me, if they haven't mailed me I take the hint, of course there is always the possibility the guys sat there thinking the same and we never mail each other but that's life

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Take it on the chin like a man ,

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm better at being the rejectee than the rejecter. Someone doesn't want me then I'm fine with it (occasionally a brief moment of butt hurt but I tend to laugh at myself for being a numpty and never get arsey with the rejecter as a result). Conversely I am a natural people pleaser so find it really hard to say 'no thank you, not for me' to others, which they must find infuriating but I am getting better at it.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

How dare you reject me ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite happy to say thanks but not for us on fab. In person I am good at making it clear We see not interested but so far without causing offence ... Mostly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not getting rejected you're probably missing opportunities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection doesn't bother me in the least. If people don't want to meet me then that's cool by me.

I'm also polite when rejecting others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just have the view not everybody is everyone's cup of tea some will like people some won't there are some right huffys on this site mind they don't like being told no

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By *exyfuncouple-40Couple
over a year ago

Bloxham

"I just have the view not everybody is everyone's cup of tea some will like people some won't there are some right huffys on this site mind they don't like being told no"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really bad at rejection. I feel it when it's not even there! Not talking about first contact rejection, that never happens, every person I've ever been attracted to has luckily always been attracted to me. I feel rejection later on when I start having feelings for the person, then even something as simple as them not replying to a text straight away can make me lose my shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking terrible at it. I take things far too personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm good at rejection cos i'v had soooooo much practice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess I'm pretty laid back with it. I've had a fair few recently but I don't dwell because I think It's better to keep on the front foot and do what makes you happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't bother me in the slightest but I hate rejecting others I find it hard. Silly I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really bad at rejection. I feel it when it's not even there! Not talking about first contact rejection, that never happens, every person I've ever been attracted to has luckily always been attracted to me. I feel rejection later on when I start having feelings for the person, then even something as simple as them not replying to a text straight away can make me lose my shit. "

Snap!

Although if i know the person is busy I don't expect a reply straight away, the rejection bit I do take to heart sometimes, especially as if I have met the person and it went well, only to receive a message saying "No thanks" when I next log in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on, there is plenty of other people to annoy, sorry chat to.....

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Off here, kind of think, they don't know me, I don't know them, lost a little time, but hey, not as much as if it had been further down the line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fine with rejection if its been said upfront ...I don't like it when people go round the houses and make excuses I'd rather be told.I am an adult I leave the throwing dummy oot of cots to others.As for rejecting others on here it's a polite no thank you and happy swinging then usually block to save time getting more mail asking why etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact is....

It's not being rejected that can hurt but how it's written or said.

We're of a very fake generation as I say.

We put up a front of strength on the outside but completely weak on the inside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Move on, there is plenty of other people to annoy, sorry chat to....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as long as you let people down lightly rejection isn't so bad. Many of my female friends suffer abuse because they are not attracted to the person mailing them, even if the are polite.

I hate it when you have been chatting for a while with someone who comes across really well then they reveal themselves and your not attracted to them...... can be awkward. Nevertheless manners costs you nothing, I've been rejected twice today already lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection doesn't bother me at all. I would so much rather be rejected than have to reject someone else.

Having said that, I think it comes from already having found Marc. I took things much harder when I was younger and dating.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snap!

Oh and that whatsapp thing was created by a sadist! If you see they've been online but still not replied!!!

I'm still feeling the aftermath of rejection now, over a year after I met the guy, even though he got back in contact and meeting him again but not accepting an offer to come over and watch a DVD (code for a shag!) Just feel like I wasn't good enough. I'm of the mindset that if you really like someone then nothing would get in the way so all the logical explanations don't work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a few years on fab I'm an expert

I've come to appreciate I'm not everyone's erotic fantasy, or just totally delicious and desirable

I think I'm much happier now that my expectation levels are so much lower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?"

youve rejected me, move on ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'am not an instigator, Always thought it was me being 'too nice' and a fear of putting them in an uncomfortable situation if they have to say no,

But recently figured out that's not the case and never was,

It's more a fear of me having to deal with their reaction more than it is them having one,

which I concede is a fear of rejection,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?

youve rejected me, move on ffs

Cry meself to sleep I do. Hugging me teddy bear.

Meanie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hate it and cannot handle it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt to have a thick skin and appreciate that it comes with the territory on here.

When I first joined a year or so ago I was one of those who thought it was the height of rudeness after I'd handcrafted a long message for it to be instantly consigned to the bin. But now I'm older and wiser it doesn't bother me at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think as long as you let people down lightly rejection isn't so bad. Many of my female friends suffer abuse because they are not attracted to the person mailing them, even if the are polite.

I think it very much depends on how people do the rejecting. If they say they don't fancy someone it can hurt. Still no need for abuse though.

Chuck in a compliment, don't make the rejection personal. Works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snap!

Oh and that whatsapp thing was created by a sadist! If you see they've been online but still not replied!!!

Yes, replying when you can! If I don't respond to mail, whattsapp or face book straight away I'm the bad guy!?!

I do have a job you know....... Which I'm not doing right now because I'm on here lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all good. I tend to get ejected regularly, rather than rejected, once people know I'm a twat. I tend to feel guilty though that it took so long for them to realise

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I let people come after me so I rarely have to deal with that kind of rejection. And so many chats never amount to anything I don't really think about it in those terms anyway, easy come easy go on here mostly.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

What am I going to do if I don't approach women, online or in person?

Rejection is part of the process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get upset if I'm rejected by a stranger. I would never instigate sex with my husband because he would shrug me off and make me feel unwanted if he didn't want it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Usually when I'm rejected I start to question what I was even thinking approaching them. A quick email telling them what I really think of them and I'm over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the internet? No shits given.

In person? It's worse but if you are armed with am amusing (non offensive) comeback it makes you feel less of an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm absolutely fine with it,I'm grounded,I'm realistic and I don't have a massive ego

As for rejecting other people,It's not always nice especially when you seem to he doing it on a regular basis but I'm always polite about it"

Come clean now Purehoneypot, you have never been rejected!

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Some of us HAVE to be good at handling rejection ... it would knock me off my rocker otherwise lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In clubs and parties I never ever make the first move but on fab I'm fine withr rejection.

I just never know how to approach people in clubs as I know how I personally don't like to be touched without asking but then asking can sometimes feel Like a mood spoiler x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It no longer bothers me.

In the end, it counts for nothing.

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By *aturelover2016Man
over a year ago

London

Loretta, broke my heart in a letter.

Joan, broke it off over the phone and after the tone, she just left me alone.

Jen said she would never see me again, and when I saw her again, she said it again.

Jan met another man.

Felicity said there was no electricity.

Emily, no chemistry.

Flo had to go, I couldn't go with the Flo.

Fran, damn, turned out to be a man.

Lisa got amnesia just forgot who I am.

Mimi, will no longer see me.

Britney, Britney hit me.

Mona, she told me she was in a Coma.

Tiffany said she had an epiphany

Carol Brown, well she just got the bus out of town!

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

It stings for a minute then goes away. A good thing to learn how to deal with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't bother me in the slightest, although I'd rarely make the first move. That and I'm fully aware I'm not everyone's cup of tea, like they're not mine

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?"

We don't particularly enjoy rejection, can't imagine that many would. However we accept its going to happen more often than not. No one can be attractive to all. It certainly doesn't put us off making the first contact.

We are always polite when saying no thanks. Rarely get rude messages back.

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By *CoastFunMan
over a year ago

Southampron

No issues with it at all as with the variety out there i know I can't be everyone's cuppa. Yet to receive an offer I've wanted to reject so I'm unsure how I'd feel about doing that and then the will I or will I not receive abuse on doing so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm cool. I just sulk for a couple of years then I am as right as rain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens to the best of us and I am fine with it as I understand you can't be all things to all people. I would rather know from the outset that its not happening if message deleted or if someone sends a polite thanks but no thanks message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle with rejection still sometimes, but that's my problem, I remain polite and courteous, but I beat myself up over it and say it's because I'm not good enough. It's total bollocks, and I know that now, but it's a very hard habit to break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?"

I try and treat people the same way I like to be treated x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never dwell on it would be my advice. Move on plenty more to choose from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't give a toss, if it wasn't meant to be, then so be it, move on smiling, it's got me through so far.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If they are polite about it, no problem. If they feel the need to insult me it pisses me off a bit but I report and try to forget about it.

I don't like saying no to people but I also don't like meeting people I'm not attracted to, so it has to be done.

I try to be nice about it. Sometimes I can be a bit sarcastic if they clearly don't fit what I'm looking for or if they have virtually no profile. If they come back with a "but why" I try to ignore it. I'm not always successful, in which case god help them.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

It doesn't bother me at all tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am ok with it and it doesn't bother me, as a single bloke its what we get on daily basis lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accept it but if you're not dissapointed the isn't that an indication that you weren't that fussed in the first place? You can't help what you feel but you can control how you behave with regards to your behaviour.

Mind you if I try set my sights low I should be ok

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How good are you at rejection?

Do you hate being rejected so avoid making the first move in case they say no? Are you ok with being rejected as not everyone fancies everyone else?

How do you handle it when you have to reject someone else?

I try and treat people the same way I like to be treated x"

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