FabSwingers.com forum: sub and dom?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!

DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?

we are all aware that there's guys out there that convince there Mrs that swinging is cool for (us)..thats not cool and for genuine swingers who know what there doing its not a problem...but what is this new disguise that a controlling person is able to use under a new category and how is this over looked?why describe yourself as sub or dom? is a cuckold man sub or dom?surely he has put himself in that position?who is sub and who is dom.yet when a cpl proclaim themselves as dom and sub,how come its never the guy who is dom?guys that do that would say they are cuckold and be done with it...im wondering if theres a lot of abuse out there,and because us swingers have had to change with the times,we dont see that or even feel its an issue??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sub and dom is the same as cuckold, some like to be degraded more than others lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This will be interesting!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I just let people get on with what they're happy with and I do the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

"Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

What flavour popcorn?...lol x

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I think that explaining Sub/Dom and BDSM etc to those who don't understand or like it, is probably a bit like trying to explain the concept of swinging to those who don't like or understand the idea.

It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended!

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

What about people who are single but sub or Dom/Domme?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

Better not. You will be called an idiot by some on here..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that explaining Sub/Dom and BDSM etc to those who don't understand or like it, is probably a bit like trying to explain the concept of swinging to those who don't like or understand the idea.

It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended!

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By *NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

St Albans

"Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

Maltesers for me - already in the armchair with coffee to hand ready ..

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"Sub and dom is the same as cuckold, some like to be degraded more than others lol."

Cuckold is NOT sub. Sorry

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By *ILLY aka SirslagWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Prince Bishops

"This will be interesting!"
unlocks the manacles and kicks off the heels waits for the party to start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sub and dom is the same as cuckold, some like to be degraded more than others lol.

Cuckold is NOT sub. Sorry"
Isn't the cuckold the submissive partner then?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why let what other people are doing bother you so much?

If it works for them why waste the energy getting in a tizz about it.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Sorry, but this reads like one of those opening posts by someone who not only doesn't get 'it', but doesn't want to get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be interesting!unlocks the manacles and kicks off the heels waits for the party to start

Hope you had permission first????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but this reads like one of those opening posts by someone who not only doesn't get 'it', but doesn't want to get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people? "

Do you?

I'm shocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/08/15 17:57:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It you think it sounds like abuse, then don't do it.

And leave the rest of us to our fully consensual relationships and activities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

Do you?

I'm shocked

Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

Do you?

I'm shocked

Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser"

You bad man.

(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Educate yourself OP and stop making judgements about stuff you know fuck all about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like abuse? If it's in a relationship with two consenting adults then how can it be abuse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

What flavour popcorn?...lol x"

Toffee wanna share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Off to grab the popcorn and a comfortable chair.........

Maltesers for me - already in the armchair with coffee to hand ready .."

Wanna swop half way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This will be interesting!unlocks the manacles and kicks off the heels waits for the party to start

Hooe you have a young man slave to rub your feet for you

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!

DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?

Read the profile ... decided, not even worth trying to explain ... not like me at all, but .... next

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I might buck your trend OP since in my main relationship I am sub and he is Dom. I sometimes sub with other people as well where the dynamic is right. It's all about preferences and on occasion I prefer sex of a kinky, ouchy persuasion. I could go into a myriad of reasons why I think that's the case but unless you think a similar way to me you won't necessarily 'get' it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

Do you?

I'm shocked

Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser

You bad man.

(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)"

I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

Do you?

I'm shocked

Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser

You bad man.

(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)

I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving! "

I can totally save myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello my name is Bike Monkey and I get sexual gratification from spanking and flogging women. So then OP tell me what's so wrong about that but so normal about fucking other people?

Do you?

I'm shocked

Even worse I go to swinging socials and find new recipients. I suspect in the OP's world that makes me a ppredator as well as an abuser

You bad man.

(Meet you behind the bike sheds?)

I'm not sure, the OP might decide you are victim that needssaving!

I can totally save myself."

I know that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want locking up bike monkey

You sick twisted individual

Sexual gratification is only achieved through fornication.

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By *ILLY aka SirslagWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Prince Bishops

"This will be interesting!unlocks the manacles and kicks off the heels waits for the party to start

Hooe you have a young man slave to rub your feet for you

"
ooh couldn't possibly unless he was the kinky foot rubber from Rotherham.....

but that's a whole new perversion the OP may want to discuss

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i think there are controlling people...no matter what label they put themselves under..

i think there are dom/ sub relationships and that is a huge spectrum..am i dom, if i decided to go on top for once? for example..the perception of such relationships, is subjective and highly personal..

some people want to express their preferences...sometimes it doesn't make things any clearer, but gives an indication, if rather broad, as to what they 'might' be like.

as for cuckold, if im not mistaken, its a three way dynamic isnt it...it its set up, don't like to say 'properly'..maybe. 'traditionally.' would be a better word...

some people say the sub has all the power anyway, so, then as you say is dom/ sub a relinquishing or a sharing of 'power' play...

ive observed a couple incidents recently of where i personally felt boundaries were being breached along the controlling / taking advantage of someone lines...but that was my opinion..i could intuit totally the outcome of both scenarios...neither were pleasant to be witness too..however, boundaries need to be learnt by everyone..some allow themselves to be led along into situations, they don't like....maybe its part of learning who you are, and, what you want and don't want...i didn't see the 'victims' struggling against it in front of me, otherwise, i would have made my presence felt..

its a fine line to minding your own business, and answering an urge to step in, when its genuinely required....

all in all people are people, all different....live and let live i say, unless the attitude of aggression is prevalent, and is clearly in front of you, with someone complaining about it...

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It's about different strokes for different folks... no pun intended!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short answer - OP, do some research. Sub/Dom play ISN'T actually like 50 Shades.

Long answer - it's between two consenting adults. People who have a regular sub/Dom arrangement tend to have a soft - I.e things they want in each session - limits section and a hard - things they will not do - limits, which is written by the sub, therefore the sub has control, it's not all about pain or beating one little bit. Once again, THERE IS CONSENT.

I only sub for one person, we don't have an agreement but the person in question and he wouldn't dare push my limits in any way, nor would he attempt to harm me. Trust, consent, boundaries.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"dom and sub..WHAT THE FUCK!!!

DONT GET IT sounds like abuse to me?

You know if you just want a simple answer to a question, there are much better ways of asking. If I thought you were remotely interested in understanding it rather than judging without any information then I'd at least try.

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Mistress has released one of my hands so i can follow this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Short answer - OP, do some research. Sub/Dom play ISN'T actually like 50 Shades.

Although... some of it is. One of my partners and myself play in some ways that are very similar to that film.

But it's still not abuse.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Mistress has released one of my hands so i can follow this thread."

You should be scrolling with your nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but this reads like one of those opening posts by someone who not only doesn't get 'it', but doesn't want to get it.

from me as well.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mistress has released one of my hands so i can follow this thread.

You should be scrolling with your nose."

He's obviously not very dedicated to her.

(Amusingly I'm reminded of the fact that my friends boyfriend scrolls her phone with his cock when he's feeling mischievous).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't fully understand the proper sub/dom relationship where there's contracts written and ownership and things. A guy I met before (the London one who douched my bottom then chatted to me whilst I sat on the toilet doing arse dribbles) He asked me if I was sub or dom and I said I didn't know, he said everybody is naturally either one or the other. Any proper people who understand this know how you decide if you're sub or dom? Should I start my own thread, yes I'll start my own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry, but this reads like one of those opening posts by someone who not only doesn't get 'it', but doesn't want to get it.

Or who totally does but just wants to start a thread that could be potentially nasty for the hell of it.

In my opinion sub/Dom relationships work perfectly well as when not in a scene the sub should be conversing with the Dom as to boundaries and safewords etc. Most definitely not abuse nor the same as cockolding.

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