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New Sat Nav

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

So, in the interests if marital harmony, we finally bought a sat nav so there'd be someone else to blame when we got lost.

Blimey, I can see why they have a woman's voice, they're always going on at you, do this, do that, go back and do it properly.

Still, it's nice this one comes with a mute button.....

{crosses fingers mrs ddc hasn't sussed the free wifi}

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone should come with a mute button (but yeah, mostly women).

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

My old one used to shout at me

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"Everyone should come with a mute button (but yeah, mostly women)."

(raises eyebrow; no vocalisation necessary)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My old one used to shout at me "

"PERFORM A U-TURN"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/15 22:17:22]

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Ffs, you know sat nav woman is the third person in our marriage at the moment.

And very welcome she is too!!!

Saved our bacon many times this holiday already, despite her bossy 'Turn around when possible'. I imagine her eyes rolling at the same time.

Mrs DDC

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Everyone should come with a mute button (but yeah, mostly women).

(raises eyebrow; no vocalisation necessary)

"

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I have sexy Sylvia and she's a slut.

The best line: take the fifth exit on the roundabout cause that's my favourite!

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

Select the Irish female voice - makes it a joy to listen to

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"My old one used to shout at me

"PERFORM A U-TURN"?"

More like "I TOLD YOU TO PERFORM A U-TURN, ARE YOU THICK??'

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"Everyone should come with a mute button (but yeah, mostly women)."

I was about to say that the mods have a mute button for me, but then I spotted Jezebel, so I'm keeping schtum

(Hi Miss J )

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Why do they tell you it's the left (or right) turning in x distance? I don't know left and right properly enough and I only know far things are away in terms of how long it takes me to get there.

Mine sits in the glove compartment (that has never seen a pair of gloves) most of the time.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Select the Irish female voice - makes it a joy to listen to "

I don't know how to change the voices.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"Everyone should come with a mute button (but yeah, mostly women).

I was about to say that the mods have a mute button for me, but then I spotted Jezebel, so I'm keeping schtum

"

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I should probably update mine... I appear to drive through fields pretty regularly.

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"Select the Irish female voice - makes it a joy to listen to "

We thought it would be nice to select the accent for the country we were in, only to discover they actually speak in the language.

Sexy, but very confusing...

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"Why do they tell you it's the left (or right) turning in x distance? I don't know left and right properly enough and I only know far things are away in terms of how long it takes me to get there.

"

I have exactly the same problem and thats why it shouts at me. The new one is much more polite though.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"So, in the interests if marital harmony, we finally bought a sat nav so there'd be someone else to blame when we got lost.

Blimey, I can see why they have a woman's voice, they're always going on at you, do this, do that, go back and do it properly.

Still, it's nice this one comes with a mute button.....

{crosses fingers mrs ddc hasn't sussed the free wifi}

Mr ddc"
if you dont like the womans voice see if you can find one with Brian Blesseds voice bloody drilliant you do exactley what he tells you lol

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

you could have naughty natalie on your sat nav

Natalie was downloaded from TomTom HOME website to be used on the must-have gadgets that give drivers directions.

She makes obscene remarks such as the promise of a sex act as a driver negotiates a roundabout.

What she promises once you have "reached your destination" is too disgusting to publish.

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


" I don't know left and right properly enough

"

Me neither, mrs ddc has to translate it into 'your side' or 'my side' while I hold up my left hand and try to make the shape of an 'L'.

There have also been a few terse comments regarding "Keep in the right lane", does she mean the correct lane, or the right-hand lane?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


" I don't know left and right properly enough

Me neither, mrs ddc has to translate it into 'your side' or 'my side' while I hold up my left hand and try to make the shape of an 'L'.

There have also been a few terse comments regarding "Keep in the right lane", does she mean the correct lane, or the right-hand lane?"

We use Mr Hand all the time. It's called Mr Hand even though it's usually my sister with the map. The other terms that work are, This way, and the ever popular, That way.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


" mrs ddc has to translate it into 'your side' or 'my side'

"

Im laughing here because thats exactly how people give me instructions when Im driving

I someone says turn right, by the time Ive thought about which hand I write with Ive missed the turning

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm shit at that too. The boys ripped the piss so I wrote it on my hands. The wrong hands.

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


" mrs ddc has to translate it into 'your side' or 'my side'

Im laughing here because thats exactly how people give me instructions when Im driving

I someone says turn right, by the time Ive thought about which hand I write with Ive missed the turning"

If I'd been born left-handed, and wrote with my left hand, I'm not sure I'd have ever made it out of our street!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


" I don't know left and right properly enough

Me neither, mrs ddc has to translate it into 'your side' or 'my side' while I hold up my left hand and try to make the shape of an 'L'.

There have also been a few terse comments regarding "Keep in the right lane", does she mean the correct lane, or the right-hand lane?"

A memory of me driving through northern France some 20 years ago has just popped up. I went away with two male friends (not like that, it was when I was celibate). One always sat in the front passenger seat and the other sat in the back and gave directions using the map.

He quickly worked out left and right just confused things so he would direct me by saying, Towards (name of friend in passenger seat) or, Away from name. It worked for a whole week of driving around France.

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By *erbyDalesCpl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"I'm shit at that too. The boys ripped the piss so I wrote it on my hands. The wrong hands. "

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my hubby ignores his most times

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By *wosWoman
over a year ago

east london

Best ever auto correct changed it to Sat Nag , can't think of it as anything else now

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

Your right foot is feeling really heavy, your eyes are begining to close, drop your arms to your sides...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

After TomTom map updates were more expensive than a brand new windows smartphone with free maps for life, I ditched TomTom.

I find the male voice to be more comforting and he never seems bothered when I ignore him and do my own thing. And then get more lost. Are men just used to being taken for granted, and ignored, my satnav guy? He deserves a medal.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"you could have naughty natalie on your sat nav

Natalie was downloaded from TomTom HOME website to be used on the must-have gadgets that give drivers erections.

She makes obscene remarks such as the promise of a sex act as a driver negotiates a roundabout.

What she promises once you have "reached your destination" is too disgusting to publish.

"

Corrected that for you.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"you could have naughty natalie on your sat nav

Natalie was downloaded from TomTom HOME website to be used on the must-have gadgets that give drivers erections.

She makes obscene remarks such as the promise of a sex act as a driver negotiates a roundabout.

What she promises once you have "reached your destination" is too disgusting to publish.

Corrected that for you. "

Should add is naughty Natalie's home address included.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost count of the number of times I've said 'I heard you the first time' to mine

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By *tep121Man
over a year ago

manchester

I have darth vader on mine. Couldn't be doing with another woman in the car....

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