FabSwingers.com forum: Advice pls, on single mother.

By *ifferent69 OP Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Hi awkward one this,

Have got chatty with a young mum who has a toddler...

Get the impression she may be pretty lonely..

But due to last relationship breakdown is adament she does not or is weary of a new one.

I respect that as her priority has to be the toddler....

I,d like to ask her for a drink but equally do not to give the wrong ideas ...

Got me thinking equally she still must have basic sexual, intamacy needs but due to circumstances are being denied....

Often found myself whilst chatting wanting to

hint of .. .. FAB..... or club..

Just end up just saying " just cos your a mum ,, does,nt mean you can,t have fun"

And leave it at that.....

Just feel rightly or wrongly its just not my place to make a suggestion, not to mention that it completley back fires on me on her opinion of me...

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Nothing wrong with asking her out for a drink. Totally non committal and innocent thing to do.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're quite right it's nothing to do with you. She's probably more than capable of sorting her own sexual needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may already be getting sex. If she needs more than that I wouldn't think recommending Fab would be a good idea.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'd be careful. A lot of people have a poor view of nsa sex and swinging.

She may think you are suggesting she's a slut or the sort of woman who likes to sleep around.

Leave her to sort her own needs out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You never know if you don't ask. It's up to you what you want to do, and it's up to her to decide whether she wants to act on the invitation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go be a friend.

Let anything else happen organically. The worst that happens is you have a new friend.

Unless of course, your interest in her friendship is purely self serving. In which case, give it a wide berth and save her the aggravation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I honestly think suggesting to a women that she joins a swinging web site or goes to a club is making massive assumptions.

It's one thing taking someone for a friendly no strings drink but something else entirely suggesting they swing. The two aren't even connected.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I honestly think suggesting to a women that she joins a swinging web site or goes to a club is making massive assumptions.

It's one thing taking someone for a friendly no strings drink but something else entirely suggesting they swing. The two aren't even connected."
I agree.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I honestly think suggesting to a women that she joins a swinging web site or goes to a club is making massive assumptions.

It's one thing taking someone for a friendly no strings drink but something else entirely suggesting they swing. The two aren't even connected."

I think the OP might be after a shag. Could be wrong tough.

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By *ifferent69 OP Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

"I'd be careful. A lot of people have a poor view of nsa sex and swinging.

She may think you are suggesting she's a slut or the sort of woman who likes to sleep around.

Leave her to sort her own needs out."
yes your right had thought of that.. Thanks

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By *ifferent69 OP Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Good advice guys... Thanks for taking the time to read thread and reply..

On this occassion it would be prudent to keep opinion to myself... and enjoy the friendship .

Though it is odd, why do ladies your not attracted to so bloody easy to talk to..

Aaaaarrgghh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How young is this young mum and what are your intentions? I don't have much time for guys that mess single mums around because any stress or upset the mum feels she still has to look after her child and it's hard. Guy standing you up or not messaging back or ignoring you or whatever and screaming kid to look after, makes your patience thin and I speak from experience. I never even thought about guys for a good few years after my daughter was born. Even now when I've got all my shit together it's been almost a year since I last had sex. I don't gag for it, can take it or leave it really.

Ask her out for an innocent drink but I wouldn't suggest you saying she should join a swinging site or go to a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Offer to baby sit so she can go out if you really want to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though it is odd, why do ladies your not attracted to so bloody easy to talk to..

Aaaaarrgghh

Simple. You have no ulterior motive so you're thinking with the bigger brain, you're relaxed and conversation flows with no agenda.

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By *ifferent69 OP Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

"How young is this young mum and what are your intentions? I don't have much time for guys that mess single mums around because any stress or upset the mum feels she still has to look after her child and it's hard. Guy standing you up or not messaging back or ignoring you or whatever and screaming kid to look after, makes your patience thin and I speak from experience. I never even thought about guys for a good few years after my daughter was born. Even now when I've got all my shit together it's been almost a year since I last had sex. I don't gag for it, can take it or leave it really.

Ask her out for an innocent drink but I wouldn't suggest you saying she should join a swinging site or go to a club. "
yes your right, us guys are clueless and nieve in this area...

Now if read my original thread it does come over a bit sleazy...

Good to get a honest female perspective...

And i,m under no illusion of how hard looking after a toddler 24/ 7 .. As a couple is let alone a single mum...

I think toddler is around 5-6 yrs and mother early mid twenties i,d say..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good advice guys... Thanks for taking the time to read thread and reply..

On this occassion it would be prudent to keep opinion to myself... and enjoy the friendship .

Though it is odd, why do ladies your not attracted to so bloody easy to talk to..

Aaaaarrgghh

Think about how you would react to this situation if it was a young guy that you were friendly with. Would you approach it differently?

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"I honestly think suggesting to a women that she joins a swinging web site or goes to a club is making massive assumptions.

It's one thing taking someone for a friendly no strings drink but something else entirely suggesting they swing. The two aren't even connected."

This

I don't understand why so many people on here assume that everyone on the street would want to be on here too as a matter of course

Like it's as normal as joining Facebook

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By *ifferent69 OP Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

"Offer to baby sit so she can go out if you really want to help."
cripes..!!

I know you mean this in jest... but irony even i did with honest intentions..

In these times we live in even a charitable offer would be missintetpretted...

Shame...

Mind you i do have patience but i think babysitting a toddler is patience to far and terrifying in equal measure..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly think suggesting to a women that she joins a swinging web site or goes to a club is making massive assumptions.

It's one thing taking someone for a friendly no strings drink but something else entirely suggesting they swing. The two aren't even connected.

This

I don't understand why so many people on here assume that everyone on the street would want to be on here too as a matter of course

Like it's as normal as joining Facebook

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Have you picked her out because she's vulnerable?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With no hidden agenda You have no ulterior motive so you're thinking with the bigger brain, you're relaxed and conversation flows

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It depends what our objectives are, influencing our behaviors towards others. If you want a nonsexual friendship, then is wait for someone else to discuss their intimate lifestyle details.

If you're pushing for sex, then be respectful too. Swinging doesn't have to be hinted at. Nothing does.

But hear her boundaries setting very clearly. She hasn't extended them out to sexual areas yet.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"Hi awkward one this,

Have got chatty with a young mum who has a toddler...

Get the impression she may be pretty lonely..

But due to last relationship breakdown is adament she does not or is weary of a new one.

I respect that as her priority has to be the toddler....

I,d like to ask her for a drink but equally do not to give the wrong ideas ...

Got me thinking equally she still must have basic sexual, intamacy needs but due to circumstances are being denied....

Often found myself whilst chatting wanting to

hint of .. .. FAB..... or club..

Just end up just saying " just cos your a mum ,, does,nt mean you can,t have fun"

And leave it at that.....

Just feel rightly or wrongly its just not my place to make a suggestion, not to mention that it completley back fires on me on her opinion of me..."

When my kids were young, three under five, and I was on my own, I did not date or go out for seven years. I focused on them and on my career. There have been some problems because of this, eg they had never seen an argument or disagreement resolved. Or otherwise between two adults and my boys, older, are particularly dependent on me, even now, but it was all I could do at the time and I see so many women and men with young children where the focus is on them and not on their children. My belief system and my actions. Still don't go out and about too much and never on overnighter, because my youngest is 13 now. always leave the phone on.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"Hi awkward one this,

Have got chatty with a young mum who has a toddler...

Get the impression she may be pretty lonely..

But due to last relationship breakdown is adament she does not or is weary of a new one.

I respect that as her priority has to be the toddler....

I,d like to ask her for a drink but equally do not to give the wrong ideas ...

Got me thinking equally she still must have basic sexual, intamacy needs but due to circumstances are being denied....

Often found myself whilst chatting wanting to

hint of .. .. FAB..... or club..

Just end up just saying " just cos your a mum ,, does,nt mean you can,t have fun"

And leave it at that.....

Just feel rightly or wrongly its just not my place to make a suggestion, not to mention that it completley back fires on me on her opinion of me...

Sorry, inserted full stop in a weird place, but hopefully it still makes some sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this was a dating site id probably be more cautious. The thing a lot of men don't seem to appreciate is that if you see a person more than twice , you do have a relationship. it might not be a very deep one but there is still a connection there you cannot simply erase without explanation. l dont really see what the child has to do with that.

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