FabSwingers.com forum: Handling Jehovah's witnesses

By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Have any of you ever answered the door when a Jehovah's witness came by and tried to get rid of them by answering the door wearing something weird?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Have any of you ever answered the door when a Jehovah's witness came by and tried to get rid of them by answering the door wearing something weird?"
yes a nuns habit

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Strap on?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Strap on?"
no it was a proper outfit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never handle a Jehovah's Witness. It just encourages them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dressing gown and invite them upstairs!

Tempting, but I just say I'm a Methodist, then they go away!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

a bag of blood and a needle in my arm..

I just say 'hi, it's transfusion time, come in'

then I see them scurrying down my path..

strange lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A burqa puts them right off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or just show em your transplant scar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

or invite them in, throws them they have no clue what to do next

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By *ig bad OP Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)

I know i freaked the shit out of them today

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

offer to take and read a copy of The Watchtower of they agree in turn to borrow and read your copy of the God Delusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally am quite agreeable and even go as far as asking where they live...what number etc...Oh and what time they sit down to eat...?

When they ask why ?

I say well im gonna pop round and interupt your fooking dinner like you doing mine on a sunday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm being targeted at the moment, but the trouble is, the guy brings a lovely old dear with him, and i dont have the heart to tell him (and her) to FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFFFFF. So i accept thier magazine and recycle it for them, and tell them i'm just going out.

perhaps i should change tact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I normally ask them if they could save a whole load of time and come and speak to some of my friends when we're all together. They say, "Great! When would be a good time?" to which I reply, "tomorrow night, up at the heath at midnight, we'll be naked and dancing around a nice little bonfire, do come and talk to us."

Strangely, we never see them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i'm being targeted at the moment, but the trouble is, the guy brings a lovely old dear with him, and i dont have the heart to tell him (and her) to FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFFFFF. So i accept thier magazine and recycle it for them, and tell them i'm just going out.

perhaps i should change tact.

The Watchtower doubles up as very good toilet paper in an emergency. It's soft, strong and thoroughly absorbant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old dad just used to say "no thank you" and close the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My old dad just used to say "no thank you" and close the door

this is right.

or go away i have a gun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fave question for them is

It says in your bible when the world ends every jovos getting a place in heaven and there 45,000 places

now they recon at this point in time theres over 5 million jovos world wide and the numbers are growing so where the fucks all the rest going?

ive never had a single one who can answer that?

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Theyu bring the "old dears" and kids with them so they people aren't rude to em.... Don't work here! Standard phrase is Fuck off and tell someone who cares!

They miss our house out now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just politely say no thanks and close the Door, I find them no worse than the Window, Door, Facia and Energy People who call and I'm not rude to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could you come bk tomorrow I'm in the middle of a porn shoot or you can come in n join us

* sits on coffin *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always invite them in so I can discuss religion with them, they are very interesting to talk to and I'm always amazed they have an answer to everything but they are equally amazed that I have a counter argument to. For some strange reason they've stopped coming to my door now

lol

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By *hebrummiesCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

My Dad had the best answer to this, we had just moved in to a new area after living in the Highlands of Scotland for some years, when the jehovahs witnesss came round, he asked them to wait a moment whilst he fetched something...

He returned a few moments later with a large petrol powered chain saw, and quite calmly said "If you don't leave me and my family alone, you will need a blood transfusion" , then pulled the rip cord to start up the chain saw, which in the confines of our hallway was extremely loud....

My parents lived there for over 20 years, during that time, not once did they have another call from the Jehovahs Witness's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you ask them to take you off their calling list they will, easy really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm getting loads calling at the moment. I haven't been rude but just told them no thanks. Do they mark your house or something for revisiting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Dad had the best answer to this, we had just moved in to a new area after living in the Highlands of Scotland for some years, when the jehovahs witnesss came round, he asked them to wait a moment whilst he fetched something...

My parents lived there for over 20 years, during that time, not once did they have another call from the Jehovahs Witness's

With all due respect...that isn't something I would be boasting about...it's weird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we havea few in our family. distant relatives , and its true if you swear at them, you get marked down in their book to not visit again. so we tried it and not had any call since lol

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

I had some knock at our door on Saturday morning, just firmly said I wasn't interested and closed the door, oh - the bottle of gin in my hand put them off a little too! Z

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I tell them I'm in the middle of a séance and to come back later...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm getting loads calling at the moment. I haven't been rude but just told them no thanks. Do they mark your house or something for revisiting?"

...i can understand why they keep knocking on your door.

i may even join up if they give me your patch....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm warning you,if you say Jehovah one more time......

Right who threw that?

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"I'm warning you,if you say Jehovah one more time......

Right who threw that?"

Hang on! Are there any women on this thread!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm warning you,if you say Jehovah one more time......

lol

Right who threw that?

Hang on! Are there any women on this thread!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you say Jesus backwards it sound like Sausage

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

...I would recommend a minimum of protective gloves, goggles and very, very good ear defenders...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had someone knock on the door preaching about the benefits of wholemeal bread ......bleedin Hovis Witnesses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we bought a jehovahs witness advent calender last xmas..opened the first door..He's standing there

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By *arkRoastMan
9 weeks ago

London

Challenge them on John 14: 12 and they'll never knock on your door again.

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By *vmarisaTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Motherwell

What did Jehovah witness that's what I want to know!?.

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By *oontuneMan
9 weeks ago

Melksham

Hank Marvin is a Jehovah's Witness and he was in the Shadows.

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By *r MzchiefMan
9 weeks ago

Derbyshire

Put on a big smile and ask them if they would be intetested in hearing the word of the lord...Satan.

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By *r MzchiefMan
9 weeks ago

Derbyshire

"Put on a big smile and ask them if they would be intetested in hearing the word of the lord...Satan.

To any jehovahs witnesses and Satanist reading this only joking.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
9 weeks ago

chichester

Tell them

To explain dinosaurs convincingly in less than 10 words

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By *a LunaWoman
9 weeks ago

South Wales

No. I have a sign on my door that says, amongst other things, “no religious callers”

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By *ir tootMan
9 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"No. I have a sign on my door that says, amongst other things, “no religious callers”

🤔

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By *a LunaWoman
9 weeks ago

South Wales

"No. I have a sign on my door that says, amongst other things, “no religious callers”

🤔 "

I don’t include myself in that, obviously

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By *ell GwynnWoman
9 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Oh, this is easy.

Be in the back garden holding a baby hedgehog and a pair of tweezers...

Poor little thing had flystrike and I was cleaning it up. The JW's found me after coming through 2 gates (cheeky beggars). They were quite surprised.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
9 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I always make a point of answering the door to them whilst donned in my nuns habit 👍🏻

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