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What's the stupidest thing someone has sed to you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've never laughed so much in my life the guy I work with come out with a classic driving past a farm near leeds there's a big oak tree guess what he says ...Oh wow! Is that a potato tree? Ribs still hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We fooled someone into looking for Llama eggs once

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Someone asked me if I had my period....I was eight months pregnant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Someone asked me if I had my period....I was eight months pregnant."

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was asked ....do wrap around shades suit me....

I replied yes you look like a twat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my mate driving past a farm once and there were sheep everwhere he said" pig farm that is!!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Me and my mate driving past a farm once and there were sheep everwhere he said" pig farm that is!!" "

Well hat toped mine lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got asked by a lad "if I suck on these will milk come out?"

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup, it's eight inches hun, I know, I'm an engineer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My aunt once rang my mum to tell her she had lost her phone number and could mum give it to her again. She read the number out to her whilst she wrote it down and then wondered why we were all laughing when she put the phone down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once got asked by a lad "if I suck on these will milk come out?" "
He could have been talking about your toes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

somebody today on here asked if I liked penetration..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"somebody today on here asked if I liked penetration.."

Depends what they're penetrating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once got asked by a lad "if I suck on these will milk come out?" He could have been talking about your toes?"

No definitely my tits

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I don't need to wear hearing protection, when an aircraft engines are running.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me if I supported Norwich today.

The fact I mention that in my profile & I'm wearing a Norwich top in one of my pics wasn't a big enough clue

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By *icked weaselCouple
over a year ago

Near Edinburgh..

Just The Other Day - Little old lady Walking Backwards Up a Hill !!!

Said She Was Scared of Heights !!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

On here? Where do you live?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Driving in the car with our 23 year old daughter and she said ... " mum is that doctor Jones driving that post van ? " .... After I stopped laughing I said ... " are you real ....is the pope Catholic ? " her reply was .... " I don't know is he " ..... She has dark hair and has always had a blonde streak in her hair about half inch thick , it often gets blamed for some of her comments lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A doctor it wont hurt much grrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me to patients. Just a little scratch!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's odd - you don't look like you. Are you sure you're not someone else?"

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Me to patients. Just a little scratch!!!"

Argh that one drives me crazy!!!!! Are you going to stick a needle in me? Right then its not going to be a scratch, or a tickle or anything else. Do you know exactly what it will feel like? It will feel like a needle going into my arm! I have had many injections and blood tests done over the years and I know exactly what it feels like!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

My lovely wife said to me the other day "dont get buy one get one free. Just buy one, it'll be cheaper"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love you"

Ha!

What did you say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me if I had any spare hair gel.... I'm bald!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate when he asked if we should renew our season tickets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An ex was looking at a map and said 'I didn't know london had a river all the way round it!'

She meant the M25

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy called me a slut yesterday - for NOT sleeping with him! Male logic.

I have come out with some corkers in my time, I think the most notable one of all was when we were playing tomb raider and meant to be revising for end of uni final exams, and I was a bit stressed: 'wait no. the alphabet is older than man.'

.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A surgeon asked if I'd had any other operations,I said yes,a hysterectomy. Then he asked if I was pregnant. Then he asked when my last period was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The op didn't hang around long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love you

Ha!

What did you say "

Nothing didn't believe her!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spectacular mistake! Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The op has fucked off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An ex was looking at a map and said 'I didn't know london had a river all the way round it!'

She meant the M25"
ha ha daft bint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess we bored them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wee brothers mate asked if she had a tan on her legs from sitting round a campfire

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I used to tell Americans that, in the UK, when yr 21 you get a telegram from the Palace and go and have tea with the Queen.

"YOU'VE had tea with the Queen?!"

Uh, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to tell Americans that, in the UK, when yr 21 you get a telegram from the Palace and go and have tea with the Queen.

"YOU'VE had tea with the Queen?!"

Uh, lol."

Its not difficult confusing many americans. Once convinced a couple of ladies on a night out that I worked for the BBC as a wildlife cameraman and I was filming the great north american beaver..

Or another night where my story was that I was a professional cookie taster...

Or that I was a scottish laird who lived in eilan donan castle..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy a Peugeot they said

It'll be fun they said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Buy a Peugeot they said

It'll be fun they said "

Dont worry, you are not the only one who fell for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't remember the exact wording but somebody thought the napalm earthquake was in England! Also that earthquakes and hurricanes are the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking to an American lady online once. She said "oh I love your accent, say something in English for me". We had already been talking for 20 minutes.... In English!!

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Told a couple we could not meet when they wanted to meet us because of our daughter they asked us to fetch our daughter said she had to start some time she was 13 never met the couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Told a couple we could not meet when they wanted to meet us because of our daughter they asked us to fetch our daughter said she had to start some time she was 13 never met the couple"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Told a couple we could not meet when they wanted to meet us because of our daughter they asked us to fetch our daughter said she had to start some time she was 13 never met the couple"

wtf?! I'm guessing you hit block super fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone asked me if I supported Norwich today.

The fact I mention that in my profile & I'm wearing a Norwich top in one of my pics wasn't a big enough clue "

In fairness you could of just lost a bet

*Walks away slowly*

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The OP has gone.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"Do you like music? Me too!" - SERIOUSLY?!

(When quite clearly 8 months pregnant) "Can I nick a tampon?".

"Oh wow, Amy's pregnant? I don't mind. Can we do bareback then? She can't get pregnant if she's already pregnant?".

- Amy. x

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .

It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .

I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was chatting to an American guy in Las Vegas I told him I was from Ireland and he says wow you speak perfect English

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .

It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .

I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa"

That is amazing!

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham


"A few years ago , I was working on a housing estate renewing the water mains .

It is standard procedure to card the street with 24 hours notice , informing that the water supply will be switched off during the works .

I arrived the following morning , and a young lady came towards me and asked "will the hot and cold water both be getting switched off today?" Hahaaa

That is amazing! "

I was a bit mean though,I told her I wasn'ts ure and sent her to ask one of the lads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me to patients. Just a little scratch!!!

Argh that one drives me crazy!!!!! Are you going to stick a needle in me? Right then its not going to be a scratch, or a tickle or anything else. Do you know exactly what it will feel like? It will feel like a needle going into my arm! I have had many injections and blood tests done over the years and I know exactly what it feels like!"
. He he. Ok then. Just a little prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Telling someone she could use her travel card to come to mine.

when I told her what zone I was in she said - are you sure? no, I just make this stuff up.

Then, another time - she was sucking my cock * said 'you want to get circumcised'? Yeah course, pass the knife.

Another time - she took her trainers out a bag, to wear as she was leaving. They were covered in grass, which she then distributed all over the landing. she then blamed the mess on U.S. Having a carpet there. It's the carpets fault for being there.

All the same girl

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By *ohnkezCouple
over a year ago

shefiield

Told a guy they were setting on at the snuff mine

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By *ythenshawefredMan
over a year ago

stockport


"Telling someone she could use her travel card to come to mine.

when I told her what zone I was in she said - are you sure? no, I just make this stuff up.

Then, another time - she was sucking my cock * said 'you want to get circumcised'? Yeah course, pass the knife.

Another time - she took her trainers out a bag, to wear as she was leaving. They were covered in grass, which she then distributed all over the landing. she then blamed the mess on U.S. Having a carpet there. It's the carpets fault for being there.

All the same girl

"

Hope you met her for her looks !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After watching a wildlife documentary my mates gf tried to tell him that lemurs must be filled with helium or something. .just look at the way they jump...he tried and failed to to explain that it was in slow motion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mates wife was so upset when his nan went blind, she swore through her tears that she was going to learn brail so she could read to her, she's such a sweetheart, same girl went into kfc with us, and while ordering she asked for a corn on the cob, " but can I have a wholemeal cob because I'm in a diet

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By *ythenshawefredMan
over a year ago

stockport

Not what somebody said to me but something I said

Once was with a girl I met via her half sister and had said they look nothing alike but just as I came I said 'God you don't half look like your sister from this angle' before spending the next two hours trying to convince her I'd not slept with her sister (which I actually hadn't at that point)

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By *rcher01Man
over a year ago

hereford

And with what

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By *rcher01Man
over a year ago

hereford

Wow that's quote dim lol

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

This happened only two weeks ago.

I'm due to have Eye Surgery next week, for which I had a Pre-Surgery assessment 10 days ago. Part of that involved basic eyesight checks, conducted by the nurse, who had my file in front of her but hadn't obviously looked it over fully.

I don't have any sight in my left eye due to a birth defect, but she insisted on checking the sight in that eye, despite me saying it was a pointless action.

Once complete, she then asked, "Do you know you have a sight issue in your Left Eye?" She was deadly serious! I replied, "Have you listened to a word I said, or even read my notes?", only for her to say, "I'm the Expert here, not you!"

Ye Gods, that was me told!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A meet proposed marriage after knowing me for one day and a few hours of chat. And hadn't been a date either. "will you marry me?".

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By *rcher01Man
over a year ago

hereford

An ex girl friend once announced she wanted to buy a one person sofa. ....I asked if she meant a chair !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not what I was expecting, even though we'd cammed and exchanged pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex.

She came out with some belters.

Asked me who my favourite Beatle was, then told me hers is John Leonard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After explaining that I had had a hysterectomy a doctor asked if there was any chance I could be pregnant.

Something tells me he wasn't listening to me.

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

I once had a f say.."why didn't I wait for a reply instead of waiting for me to reply"..baring in mind that she couldn't meet. I still don't get it now lol

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By *athnBobCouple
over a year ago

sandwell

Talking to an 11 year old whilst watching a black and white film .... "In them days was Skype black and white as well?"

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I was almost the thread killer, until this was revived today

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