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Decided against it?

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By *ugby 123 OP   Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

A thread was taken off as it was requested plus was discussing another member, but I thought the subject was a good one ( sorry if it has been done before)

If you arranged a meet with someone for the first time/100th time and decided it wasn't working for you, would you stay and play anyway even if your heart wasn't in it....or would you be brave to stop the meet?

If you were at a meet and a person stopped the play and said they couldn't do it, would you think thats a bad thing or would you say NP, lets have a drink and chat and be on your way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say it would be a good rule for anyone not to do something, with which, they aren't entirely comfortable.

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

Read the aforementioned post,and i would say np and if they wanted have a drink and a chat with no hard feelings as I think it would make for a bad meet if someones heart was not realy in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would defo stop play if it was not working for me, but would not expect partner to just jump off if in action. I would suggest a cup of tea and go to the kitchen.

Similarly for the second situation. No objection to peeps changing their mind about playing but they do need to be polite about it, not just turn around and walk out. That is rather impolite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am quite happy to make friends and stay as friends with people whom I do not play with.

It is good to have light-minded friends with whom I can talk to with ease.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would think fair enough if someone stopped play,its one thing chatting on phone,seeing pics but if we met someone and they decided we were not for them then we wouldnt think anything less of them.

The same goes for us,if one of us wasnt happy then we would stop things,like i said on the other thread i wouldnt go through the motions just so i didnt upset anyone x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I would say NP and have a beer with them.

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By *ugby 123 OP   Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I remember our first time and I thought I was going to die as my heart was trying to burst out of my chest, I think it was the closet I have ever come to a panic attack, but me being the stubborn bitch I am I stuck with it and enjoyed every minute of it....but I can understand people getting to that point and thinking, damn, I can't turn this fantasy into reality.

We do try and go for men who have done MFM before as at least we know that they know they can perform in front of another man with his wife........but I think if they couldn't we would just do the same....offer them a cuppa and a gab and leave/let them leave on good terms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id say no problem.

and get me coat.

no point hanging around.

but i also wouldnt be nasty to them in the future. just move on.

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By *ugby 123 OP   Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol Thankyou View.

Closest*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I strongly believe the importance of being honest, and have the good grace to let peeps down gently without creating any hard feelings.

As mentioned before, I believe chemistry between people is very important.

And the chemistry between people can be very different.

I would pin some against the wall within seconds of meeting them, whereas with some, it is more likely to share fun times talking and laughing about life in general over a pint/cuppa/meal etc...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"lol Thankyou View.

Closest*

"

a pleasure...... I am drawn to the mention of closets in the hope the boys are opening them xx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I certainly wouldn't want someone to play with me if they weren't "up for it".... and I think that with friends you can tell anyway...

but yes... you shouldn never be afraid to say no and i'd always want someone to be honest

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

there have been a couple of times that I think both parties realised that there was no spark so after a drink just went our seperate ways. I did a month or so ago say no to a meet from the get go when the 2 men ( one of who I had met previously at a party)thought it would be ok to show up with a 3rd guy without even asking me if that was something I would be interested in, and one of them was shocked when I said no to them even coming in. (the other 2 legged it when they saw how pissed off I was ..lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... sheepishly putting my hand up for playing with someone and regretted it afterwards.

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By *ity Slickers PartiesCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Brighton & Hove

We enjoy sex so much to waste it or force it with someone who does not feel wanting it (unless this part of the game, then we would expect to be put in writing to us and a password agreed to stop).

We find that this is never “one way scenario” if that person does not like you there is a possibility that you do not like them either… chemistry plays a very important part and the only way to find out is by meeting that person but also follow your instinct.

We always ensure that everything we do is consensual and indeed we have made lots of friends in here with people who would never play with us and why should it not be so? Always respect peoples’ sexual boundaries. Everyone likes to have fun, but everyone has their limits and these limits are not always as you might assume them to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We look @ each meet as a kinda social meet if all goes well on both sides happy day's, If neither side isn't 100% happy that's fine we never go in to this expecting to play. Same goes if we'd had a few meets with the same ppl If feeling arnt the same any more have no problem saying it's not working. Shame some ppl haven't got the balls to say how they feel @ times

* creeps round graveyard *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have left part way through a meet as my mind just wasnt with it. Luckily the guy is someone I've met loads of times before and was very understanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to hold my hand up here and admit Ive done it too, very very recently actually. The social part of it was fantastic, they were and are an absolutely lovely couple. The play part was lacking for me. It was difficult as my partner was absolutely loving the play part and as he doesnt get the chance to be the centre of attention as often as I do, I wanted him to indulge and have fun. I only wish I had had the balls to stop any play with myself and just sit in a corner and watch.

I liked the couple very much though and I wouldnt totally be against meeting them again, but it would have to be in a swinging club where I could walk away from play whenever I wanted to and not feel the need to stay where I didnt want to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made the mistake of carrying on playing with a guy i wasn't sexually or mentally attracted to. I actually felt physically sick the next day and have since told him that nothing will happen ever again. Felt pretty cold-hearted but I knew I had to be honest in the end.

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By *ardybumsCouple
over a year ago

peekin under duvet is it safe?


"there have been a couple of times that I think both parties realised that there was no spark so after a drink just went our seperate ways. I did a month or so ago say no to a meet from the get go when the 2 men ( one of who I had met previously at a party)thought it would be ok to show up with a 3rd guy without even asking me if that was something I would be interested in, and one of them was shocked when I said no to them even coming in. (the other 2 legged it when they saw how pissed off I was ..lol)"

thats well bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I mentioned in a previous thread that i once went through with a meet against my instincts and felt used and silly afterwards, never again!

Lesson learned, but if the roles were reversed and someone backed off, i would try to be sensitive and just laugh about it with them (hopefully). Thats one of the reasons I like peeps with a sense of humour, it makes the atmosphere lighter, generally. Attraction is a very personal thing, but if it isn't working, this lifestyle is not about love so you can't afford to take it personally- IMHO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldnt bother me at all if we met someone but they decided not to play. I understand it and it really wouldnt be a problem for me. I would much rather than, and keep a friend, than go through with something that will upset you and make you feel used the next day. I would be unhappy if anyone ever thought that about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be mortified to learn that someone played with me only because they didn't want to feel awkward by saying no.

I pretty much know if I want to play with someone long before the actual point of doing so. It may be down to physical attraction alone or a combination of getting to know the person and then finding I'm also attracted to them physically, but it's rare I meet someone 'blind' and hope that she's the type of person I go for.

Siren gets very nervous about new playmates and she has to know that there is no pressure on her to play if she feels she isn't 'connecting' with that person. Having said that, when we've been in a club/party setting it's usually her who'll say, "pssst, I like HIM!", then it's down to me to make it happen. She's said it once or twice about girls too but she's only ever played with two girls and that's been them playing with her, not her with them, she doesn't feel a sexual arousal about women but some do appeal to her for their sheer physical attributes. Hope that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

once we had a cpl drive to our home for a meet - they were fun - but i really didnt fancy him - we drank had something to eat and they wanted to jump in the hot tub - so we did - i was really unsure the whole time though - when we got out of the hot tub i said i wasnt up for playing that it just wast for me that night and invited them both to stay the night - the guy followed me to our ensuite and really had a go at me - i wasshocked - i was even more shocked when they both stormed out and drove home to london well over the limit for driving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That does make total sense and I can identify with it certainly.

In my case, when we meet couples, I am fine with whatever sexual act takes place (within the realms of what we do etc) but Im not keen if, as a foursome, pairing off happens. I like the foursome to be all playing together, touching each other. I dont like the "you have him and Ill have her" scenario. I also dont like romantic type whispering and overdoing it in a romantic way. I like my partner to look at what im doing during a play session and not have to be totally focused on someone else because they demand that. This makes it sound as if I have to be the centre of attention and its not that as such, but I do have to feel as a couple, me and him are the team and we are enjoying another couple together.

Sometimes I feel guilty that everyone will think im a Diva and its all about me me me . It isnt, but I have to get out of it what im happy with.

Its hard when the other couple you are playing with finds one of you more sexy than the other focus more on that one person so the other is left out a little. Men handle this better than women I find

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