FabSwingers.com forum: Bernard Mathews

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Has died aged 80

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

hope his funeral is boootiful... really boootiful....

c'mon, ya were all thinking it...!!!

too soon????

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By *nothercoupleCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

I can hear the turkeys sighing with relief from here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hope so to _abio, but its more likely to be a turkey

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By *ottyhunkCouple
over a year ago

Leyburn

He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lmao

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Damn, I must repost.......lmao at the last joke and not for the man dying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do a 10 km road race at Christmas called The Turkey Trot. Will do it in his memory this year. x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

God bless him.

sleep well x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There'll be millions of turkeys waiting for him to enter the pearly gates shouting, "That's him, that's tha bastard over there - get him lads"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wonders if he will have a drummer @ his funeral?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expect all the food at the wake will be gobbbbble gobbbble up !

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Expect all the food at the wake will be gobbbbble gobbbble up !"

And if you cant make it in time, no problems as there will be plenty of leftovers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not too soon.. His food was shite anyway!!!!

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By *ottyhunkCouple
over a year ago

Leyburn

James Blunt is releasing a single in memory of Bernard Matthews, which will be entitled "Your bootiful, your bootiful..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bernard Matthew's body now only weighs 3 stone after the coroner drained the water out of him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

very good

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By *ottyhunkCouple
over a year ago

Leyburn

After Bernard Matthews funeral there will be a buffet in the village hall, followed by another the next day and a curry the day after that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After Bernard Matthews funeral there will be a buffet in the village hall, followed by another the next day and a curry the day after that!!"

totty how many texts did you get on this subject lol.

if you ask me its all fowl

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"if you ask me its all fowl

Well, the Police do suspect fowl play!

Prime suspects.....75 million turkeys

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"
lol very good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

that was a real "coffee spitter" moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i heard he was pecked to death.

but i think choking on one of his own products is the real cause of death

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

All these jokes about the death of Bernard Matthews are really a bit tasteless....

O the irony!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bernard Matthews.

Best before 24/11/2010

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And to top it all... he died on Thanksgiving Day.. how appropriate lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always reminds me of a dell boy line from Only Fools..... "i feel like a turkey thats just seen Bernard Matthews grinning at it" lol

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By *ikeriderMan
over a year ago

prestatyn

May he 'roast in peace'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/11/10 02:29:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Bernard Matthews.

Best before 24/11/2010"

LMAO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He will be cremated next week on Gas Mark 7 for 3 hours!"

Nigella says he should be soaked in brine for 24 hours but Jamie insists he should have butter rubbed under his skin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs Matthews "good news and bad news kids....bad news, your dad's died...good news, we're having beef tonight!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bernard's family is said to be devastated after reading the will...

Apparently he left them a poultry amount...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He well and truly stuffed now

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