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Hers a good question

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My brother and his long term girlfriend split up about a month ago, she left an he has kept their daughter, she ran into some financial difficulties and sold her tablet on a buy back basis, at a buy and sell store.

My brother being the nice guy that he is went and paid for it, in order to give it her back the next day, however, suspicion and rumours led him to take a look at the tablet, where on Facebook messenger he found not only details of a 6 month affair, but evidence that the affair is still going on.

Now, I know what he is going to do, but what would you do?

I personally would use the tablet to message him and tell him how much I know, and soon his wife will know just as much, but that's me, again not looking for advice, and some of the information has been changed to protect the innocent

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By *uxomBloomsWoman
over a year ago

Near Tunbridge Wells

He should give her tbe tablet back, move on and be the bigger, better man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id bypass both and just tell the wife. When i was cheated on many people knew and none had the decency to tell me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd keep my nose out of their private life. If he wants anyone to interfere, he'd ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would keep out of it.

How do you know the wife doesn't already know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep the tablet & give back the child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now, I know what he is going to do, but what would you do?

"

I'd find something else to think about.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well so far I can see how Ashley Madison works lol

I fully intend to keep out of it, and like I said, I know what I would do, and I know what he's going to do, the world must be a nice place from that high road lol,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He should give her tbe tablet back, move on and be the bigger, better man. "

^ This. As they have a child, the less friction between them, the better.

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By *adgeeMan
over a year ago

Sw Scotland


"He should give her tbe tablet back, move on and be the bigger, better man.

^ This. As they have a child, the less friction between them, the better."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He should give her tbe tablet back, move on and be the bigger, better man.

^ This. As they have a child, the less friction between them, the better."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well thinking about it from a more machiavellian perspective it seems your brother and his ex both want something.

Your brother wants a smooth relationship with his child and his ex wants a smooth affair with her new fool. So that's the peace I would broker to be honest. Which means not telling anyone about what you've descovered but making them aware that you could.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did they split for reasons other than her cheating?

I'd just screen shot all the convos or copy and paste them and email them to myself (never know when they could come in handy) Give the tablet back to her but say that I had a good look first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't just tell his wife, I would present her with the irrefutable evidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its non of his business what she does and he is invading her privacy, maibe she sensed he was doing something behind her back to do it back tho, you never know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did they split for reasons other than her cheating?

"

People split for many reasons and "cheating" is more often than not a symptom of an unsatisfactory relationship rather than the cause of a relationship breakdown. We all know that relationships can be complex.

Rather than using someone's infidelity as a blunt instrument to cause strife between two parents, it might be better to encourage as much peace as possible. Those two parents will be coming into contact with each other for years to come. Please, OP, put the interests of the child above anything else - and encourage your brother to do the same.

I will stop preaching now. It is just that I saw far too much of this sort of pettiness and it makes me so angry to see a young person's life ruined through irresponsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of I was him I'd give her the tablet and tell her I'd seen the messages...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They've split up. Obviously because things weren't right in their relationship.

Why does it matter what happened in the last months of their dying relationship?

More importantly, why does it matter to you?

If it was your relationship it's a fair question. But none of us know the circumstances except the parties involved.

Every marriage is different, and not a single one can be judged by an outsider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they have already split then it matters little now does it.

If the relationship was sound they'd still be together so obviously something was going on.

Maybe your brother knew this and that's why he bought the tablet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just give her back the tablet with a knowing look in his face. No words, just a look. Job done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd do nothing as an easy life is a better life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Did they split for reasons other than her cheating?

People split for many reasons and "cheating" is more often than not a symptom of an unsatisfactory relationship rather than the cause of a relationship breakdown. We all know that relationships can be complex.

Rather than using someone's infidelity as a blunt instrument to cause strife between two parents, it might be better to encourage as much peace as possible. Those two parents will be coming into contact with each other for years to come. Please, OP, put the interests of the child above anything else - and encourage your brother to do the same.

I will stop preaching now. It is just that I saw far too much of this sort of pettiness and it makes me so angry to see a young person's life ruined through irresponsibility."

This is basically his thinking, he's such a nice guy, I can't believe we're related lol, I'm much more vengeful, and the guys wife would have had a screen shot of the conversation forwarded to her if it had been me, then she could be the one to put him in hospital.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I did suggest that he send her a mesage along the lines of

You need to get to the clinic as fast as you can, it's not good news

Just to see the fucker sweat lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did suggest that he send her a mesage along the lines of

You need to get to the clinic as fast as you can, it's not good news

Just to see the fucker sweat lol"

That should be send him a message not her lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did they split for reasons other than her cheating?

People split for many reasons and "cheating" is more often than not a symptom of an unsatisfactory relationship rather than the cause of a relationship breakdown. We all know that relationships can be complex.

Rather than using someone's infidelity as a blunt instrument to cause strife between two parents, it might be better to encourage as much peace as possible. Those two parents will be coming into contact with each other for years to come. Please, OP, put the interests of the child above anything else - and encourage your brother to do the same.

I will stop preaching now. It is just that I saw far too much of this sort of pettiness and it makes me so angry to see a young person's life ruined through irresponsibility.

This is basically his thinking, he's such a nice guy, I can't believe we're related lol, I'm much more vengeful, and the guys wife would have had a screen shot of the conversation forwarded to her if it had been me, then she could be the one to put him in hospital."
Hmm some kind of anger management maibe lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"the world must be a nice place from that high road lol, "

What where you expecting? Haha

For what it's worth I have been there, same situation and the split was initially blamed on me,

As much as I wanted to smash his face into something hard repeatedly it would have stopped me seeing my son, had to bite my tongue let them get on with it,

Really helped me to put her behind me and focus on little one though,

Emotion will make you want to take recompense from his face but it's not helpful in the long run, the little one is dealing with a circumstances change, fights and total loss of contact from one parent is going to make it much worse. All actions should be for little one and that will mean putting the bruised ego aside for the long term relationship with them

That's not high road, thats facts pal

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

The relationship is over now so what does it matter? Any such vengeful action would just come across as pety and do nothing more than cause more stress and make a shitty atmosphere for a child who is already having to adjust to a big change without having their parents at eachother's throats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

This is basically his thinking, he's such a nice guy, I can't believe we're related lol, I'm much more vengeful, and the guys wife would have had a screen shot of the conversation forwarded to her if it had been me, then she could be the one to put him in hospital."

Yes, he is a nice guy.

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