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"I believe it does matter, I may be having all this fun at the expense of some of the gorgeous black women out there. It's ignorance that leads to many of the wrongs in this world. " If you weren't having the fun, the black woman still wouldn't be having it because she's not what the man/men want. They have a right to choose. I wouldn't go for whatever is available if I suddenly couldn't get what I wanted, so there's no reason to think they would. Plus there will always be white women willing to meet them even if you won't. | |||
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"Op does it matter as long as your having fun and there's no abuse etc..? " Exactly why do folk have to analyse everything.enjoy the moment. | |||
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"I believe it does matter, I may be having all this fun at the expense of some of the gorgeous black women out there. It's ignorance that leads to many of the wrongs in this world. " Surely its the choice of the individual to have the type of fun with whom they want and on a site such as this they can source a compatible other to do so.. their preference etc.. are you feeling a bit guilty or something that when they're with you they could be with someone else? | |||
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"My personal view, and with it a challenge, is never to confine the possibility of attraction to certain appearances.Disability is very difficult, because we train ourselves to look away. As for race, perceptions will change, one small step at a time." What perception? I prefer light skin and fair hair. It's what I tend to be attracted to. There's no perception involved. | |||
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"I believe it does matter, I may be having all this fun at the expense of some of the gorgeous black women out there. It's ignorance that leads to many of the wrongs in this world. " ehh? isn't observing a difference racism? Why not say, im not going to have sex with him at the expense of his wife or girlfriend?... and if he has a gorgeous black wife and he prefers sex with little white you why think its at her expense she might prefer white guys? Its not about ignorance or prejudice its about preference. - secretly yours | |||
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"Firstly I rather like thinking and secondly I try to avoid men who are in relationships unless their partner is consenting. Of course these decisions are made based on preference but my interest is about the roots of these preferences. Of course when I'm in the throws of passion with a gorgeous black man the main thought in my mind is not about WHY he is fucking me. I just believe that where racism and oppression of non white people is concerned it is my responsibility as a member of the oppressor's race to question and analyse these issues and to confront them. I especially feel this is important as I am finding myself more and more attracted to black men. I'm enjoying myself but I don't want to fall blindly into racial or cultural generalisations. " i dont feel any need to bear responsibility personally about oppression of one race by another, that is in itself a bit of a cultural generalisation.. that's not to say i don't were appropriate challenge racism as with other discrimination... did you feel this responsibility before you started fucking black guys..? | |||
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" did you feel this responsibility before you started fucking black guys..? " Yes I did, this is not a consequence of my new found desires but has been exacerbated by them. | |||
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"I started this thread in another thread but felt it might need one all of it's own. I went to my first swinging club night last week at EWS, I had a wonderful time largely due to the amount of attention I received. As a big woman I've never felt particularly attractive in mainstream bars and clubs but when I joined this site I suddenly had loads of gorgeous and sensual black men showing an interest in me and this eventually led me to EWS. Now as I meet and talk with these men I'm shocked to hear how many of them say that they would not have sex with or date a black woman. I worry about this and can't help but feel that there is at least an element of internalised racism at play. The first response was...... "Very interesting observation. Internalised racism could be a factor but maybe some element of externalised racism too - perceptions about white women as being easy, filthier, more likely to submit to their dominance etc?" My response... "That was not an aspect that I had thought about. It's a side that I, as a white woman feel less uneasy with having never been opressed by racism. I'm still very interested and I'm going to see in any research has been done on the issue as a part of me feels that my ignorance is disrespectful to black women". " It would concern me too. I'm not willing to sleep with people who write an entire race off. They wouldn't be my kind of people if they do that. | |||
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" If I stopped to think whether someone on here had sex with me because im gorgeous and irresistable or another psychological reason they are either aware of or not i'd be for ever thinking. " Quite right granny,we can't be having you ladies thinking for yourselves | |||
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"I believe it does matter, I may be having all this fun at the expense of some of the gorgeous black women out there. " I doubt that very much. Just out of interest - how many of these guys would actually be wanted by these women they profess to 'turn down'. Not by any women I know | |||
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"Firstly I rather like thinking and secondly I try to avoid men who are in relationships unless their partner is consenting. Of course these decisions are made based on preference but my interest is about the roots of these preferences. Its good as you like thinking and avoiding men who are attached but dont you think you are spending too much time trying to analyse the situation than enjoy yourself ? Trying to get to the roots of why black men fancy you during sex should be the last thing on your mind during a hot sex session. Go with the flow and catch your fun. Of course when I'm in the throws of passion with a gorgeous black man the main thought in my mind is not about WHY he is fucking me. ?? I just believe that where racism and oppression of non white people is concerned it is my responsibility as a member of the oppressor's race to question and analyse these issues and to confront them. Hun its just sex, where on earth does racism , oppression or being part of the oppressors race come into it ? I especially feel this is important as I am finding myself more and more attracted to black men. I'm enjoying myself but I don't want to fall blindly into racial or cultural generalisations. Oh boy, you really need to relax " | |||
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"It's curious how many people want me to stop thinking. I am still having fun but if we are not continually learning then life becomes rather one dimensional. " absolutely, i must add you are quite a deep thinker, nothing better than overthinking with a blank look in your face while you being shagged. But seriously hun didnt you think of all these before you went for black guys ? | |||
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"It's curious how many people want me to stop thinking. I am still having fun but if we are not continually learning then life becomes rather one dimensional. " A lot of people here refuse to consider the implications of racism, sexism, homophobia etc in the swinging scene. I don't know why. It doesn't mean any individual is necessarily a raving bigot, just that our society is still swimming in these things and we are all likely to be affected by that. | |||
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"It's curious how many people want me to stop thinking. I am still having fun but if we are not continually learning then life becomes rather one dimensional. " I didn't mean you should stop thinking. I'm just pretty sure that everyone has different preferences and I'm not sure you'll find the answer you're looking for. I overthink all sorts but attraction for me has zero to do with skin colour, it really doesn't cross my mind. I either find someone I like or I don't. It makes sense in my head. | |||
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"It is not a question of you not thinking, the issue is are you thinking about the right question. I would suggest the question is, why are these guys saying this to me rather than is there some inverse racism going on. In America there is a truckload of articles by black pundits on black men dating white women. That is putting aside the issue of interracial sex as an erotic activity. In America black men dating white women is a political issue. In the UK with its colonies it is not a political issue, as the numbers of white women and the fact we live in intergated communities deprive mixed relationships in the UK as being an issue. I suspect you are generalising from a limited number of black man, who had an ulterior motive to say what they did. A white female friend told me she went to a black swinging party it was black couples she was the only white person there and got no play. As you live in Sutton, if you pop up to Croydon you would see plenty of black couples. If you go to any area with large ethnic population you will see black couples. If you go to Granaries in Croydon or any 'black club' or even the Notting Hill Carnival can you will see black men chatting up black women. This is not to say that there are not black men who won't date black women for their own reasons, they are, l suspect a minority. Looking at the swinging community the ratio of black women to white women is a fraction therefore there is more interracial sex. All I can do is share an image from bmfc arousals last Saturday of one black woman in the orgy room surrounded by black men. The general view from the forums is that more black female swingers would be appreciated." nail on head as per | |||
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"It is not a question of you not thinking, the issue is are you thinking about the right question. I would suggest the question is, why are these guys saying this to me rather than is there some inverse racism going on. In America there is a truckload of articles by black pundits on black men dating white women. That is putting aside the issue of interracial sex as an erotic activity. In America black men dating white women is a political issue. In the UK with its colonies it is not a political issue, as the numbers of white women and the fact we live in intergated communities deprive mixed relationships in the UK as being an issue. I suspect you are generalising from a limited number of black man, who had an ulterior motive to say what they did. A white female friend told me she went to a black swinging party it was black couples she was the only white person there and got no play. As you live in Sutton, if you pop up to Croydon you would see plenty of black couples. If you go to any area with large ethnic population you will see black couples. If you go to Granaries in Croydon or any 'black club' or even the Notting Hill Carnival can you will see black men chatting up black women. This is not to say that there are not black men who won't date black women for their own reasons, they are, l suspect a minority. Looking at the swinging community the ratio of black women to white women is a fraction therefore there is more interracial sex. All I can do is share an image from bmfc arousals last Saturday of one black woman in the orgy room surrounded by black men. The general view from the forums is that more black female swingers would be appreciated." Spot on. I've slept with white, black and asian (indian). Not because I was specifically seeking sex with people of those races but because timing and circumstance. I don't regret it and I would sleep with someone of any race was was able to obtain, and hold, my interest. Yes I have a preference like most, but it's not concrete. Black men who generalise and say black women are fiesty or have bad attitudes are dumb. I have a mum, sister and cousins who are all individuals and don't cater to stereotypes and more than those from white or Asian backgrounds. | |||
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"It is not a question of you not thinking, the issue is are you thinking about the right question. I would suggest the question is, why are these guys saying this to me rather than is there some inverse racism going on. In America there is a truckload of articles by black pundits on black men dating white women. That is putting aside the issue of interracial sex as an erotic activity. In America black men dating white women is a political issue. In the UK with its colonies it is not a political issue, as the numbers of white women and the fact we live in intergated communities deprive mixed relationships in the UK as being an issue. I suspect you are generalising from a limited number of black man, who had an ulterior motive to say what they did. A white female friend told me she went to a black swinging party it was black couples she was the only white person there and got no play. As you live in Sutton, if you pop up to Croydon you would see plenty of black couples. If you go to any area with large ethnic population you will see black couples. If you go to Granaries in Croydon or any 'black club' or even the Notting Hill Carnival can you will see black men chatting up black women. This is not to say that there are not black men who won't date black women for their own reasons, they are, l suspect a minority. Looking at the swinging community the ratio of black women to white women is a fraction therefore there is more interracial sex. All I can do is share an image from bmfc arousals last Saturday of one black woman in the orgy room surrounded by black men. The general view from the forums is that more black female swingers would be appreciated." | |||
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