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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Fair play to the woman and couples on here who take the time to message back even when they are not interested,

Just think it is good manners but i do understand more often than not they are flooded with messages and cant reply to everyone but for people who take the time deserve a shout out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're welcome I try to let people know either way. Especially if I'm going to block them because it's the second/third/ fourth time they've messaged asking for a meet

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Fair play to the woman and couples on here who take the time to message back even when they are not interested,

Just think it is good manners but i do understand more often than not they are flooded with messages and cant reply to everyone but for people who take the time deserve a shout out

"

What sort of manners is it when people, (not always men), send rude, abusive messages after a polite 'no thanks'?

That puts quite a few people off sending 'no thanks' replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fair play to the woman and couples on here who take the time to message back even when they are not interested,

Just think it is good manners but i do understand more often than not they are flooded with messages and cant reply to everyone but for people who take the time deserve a shout out

"

We always reply either way, but if someone has messaged us before then we don't as we feel they should remember we said no thanks the first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What sort of manners is it when people, (not always men), send rude, abusive messages after a polite 'no thanks'?

That puts quite a few people off sending 'no thanks' replies."

I put on my profile that I block to eliminate simply for that reason - Secretly yours

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Why do they deserve a shout out ? Because they did what YOU wanted them to?

I'm going to give a shout out to people like me who don't answer most messages.

Rayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What sort of manners is it when people, (not always men), send rude, abusive messages after a polite 'no thanks'?

That puts quite a few people off sending 'no thanks' replies."

Not really experienced that, we do try to respond to all but the extreme 'wanna fuck you' type messages from silhouette profiles. Worst we've had in reply is 'why not?' really.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i don't see what the difference between no reply and "woohoo you go champ but not for us" really is.....

it also feels like the people who complain about this are those with a sense of entitlement that they are "owed" a reply

if the mindset was different in that everything is no until you actually get told otherwise as opposed to everything being yes!!! I don't think people would whinge half as much

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By *ucky1Man
over a year ago

a straightjacket

I agree with you OP, it is frustrating, even more so when you've read their profile and written a nice message. But do appreciate some women can get hundreds of mail a day, so can see why most don't reply and just delete.....

Part of fab and just gotta roll with the punches and don't keep sending messages as that will get you a block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What sort of manners is it when people, (not always men), send rude, abusive messages after a polite 'no thanks'?

That puts quite a few people off sending 'no thanks' replies.

Not really experienced that, we do try to respond to all but the extreme 'wanna fuck you' type messages from silhouette profiles. Worst we've had in reply is 'why not?' really."

Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me

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By *laire4UWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"i don't see what the difference between no reply and "woohoo you go champ but not for us" really is.....

it also feels like the people who complain about this are those with a sense of entitlement that they are "owed" a reply

if the mindset was different in that everything is no until you actually get told otherwise as opposed to everything being yes!!! I don't think people would whinge half as much "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

1. Don't reply.

2. If you DO reply with a no thank you BLOCK immediately.

3. Smile and continue to enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe a 'sorry not interested' email could be created that automatically blocks the recipient from messaging for say 30 days? I've seen something similar on another site in the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why do they deserve a shout out ? Because they did what YOU wanted them to?

I'm going to give a shout out to people like me who don't answer most messages.

Rayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !"

Yay I'll join you in that shout out

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I don't get why people care if you het a reply or not surely a no is no no matter what. But then as i very rarely mail 1st i guess i don't see it much. Shrugs and wonder back to my cuppa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me "

Lol not sure how many other ways you could've put the word 'no' haha.

We filter out non verifieds so that might be part of why we don't get those. I guess newbies might be under the impression that it's a free-for-all, as that is how TV seems to represent 'swinging', and so not understand that the answer could be no, so they maybe thought it was a bit like Argos, you browse for what you want, choose one and then send them a message to get them round at a time convenient to them haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me

Lol not sure how many other ways you could've put the word 'no' haha.

We filter out non verifieds so that might be part of why we don't get those. I guess newbies might be under the impression that it's a free-for-all, as that is how TV seems to represent 'swinging', and so not understand that the answer could be no, so they maybe thought it was a bit like Argos, you browse for what you want, choose one and then send them a message to get them round at a time convenient to them haha."

Now there's a new concept

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me

Lol not sure how many other ways you could've put the word 'no' haha.

We filter out non verifieds so that might be part of why we don't get those. I guess newbies might be under the impression that it's a free-for-all, as that is how TV seems to represent 'swinging', and so not understand that the answer could be no, so they maybe thought it was a bit like Argos, you browse for what you want, choose one and then send them a message to get them round at a time convenient to them haha.

Now there's a new concept "

I choose this one, have her scrubbed and brought to my room immediately!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me

Lol not sure how many other ways you could've put the word 'no' haha.

We filter out non verifieds so that might be part of why we don't get those. I guess newbies might be under the impression that it's a free-for-all, as that is how TV seems to represent 'swinging', and so not understand that the answer could be no, so they maybe thought it was a bit like Argos, you browse for what you want, choose one and then send them a message to get them round at a time convenient to them haha.

Now there's a new concept

I choose this one, have her scrubbed and brought to my room immediately! "

Lol I've been in clubs a few times were new members think this is how it works. One actually approached me and said how does this work do I just say I choose you and then we get a room!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol I've been in clubs a few times were new members think this is how it works. One actually approached me and said how does this work do I just say I choose you and then we get a room!! "

Haha, never been to a club and that's probably one of the reasons they scare us lol.

So much easier telling someone to bugger off via text. We were at a social last week and got friendly with a lovely couple, neither of us fancied either of them, but we got on great otherwise. We were just hoping they weren't going to make a move on us as that would have spoiled things (we'd previously said we weren't going to play on the day with anyone), but they didn't, we had a fantastic night with them and the other couples there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i don't see what the difference between no reply and "woohoo you go champ but not for us" really is.....

it also feels like the people who complain about this are those with a sense of entitlement that they are "owed" a reply

if the mindset was different in that everything is no until you actually get told otherwise as opposed to everything being yes!!! I don't think people would whinge half as much "

well said

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By *little subWoman
over a year ago

north by

[Removed by poster at 05/08/15 11:58:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few months ago after sending out a "sorry no thanks" to a Asian guy who'd messaged me, I got a reply ranting that this site was rubbish and that he'd paid a subscription and expected a good service, then demanded I recompense him" (go figure) ... lol

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Maybe we should have colour coded profiles, red, amber, green, according to someone's expressed interest in you.

You start chatting, either side can select their interest level, and alter it again at any time, so it reflects the prevailing sentiment.

If a meet is provisionally agreed both sides, it moves to green. Unless blocked etc.

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By *4STYWoman
over a year ago

Luanda/Angola


"Fair play to the woman and couples on here who take the time to message back even when they are not interested,

Just think it is good manners but i do understand more often than not they are flooded with messages and cant reply to everyone but for people who take the time deserve a shout out

What sort of manners is it when people, (not always men), send rude, abusive messages after a polite 'no thanks'?

That puts quite a few people off sending 'no thanks' replies."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yesterday I got a message I replied no thanks he replied with "what do you mean no? " I didn't really know how to reply to that. He then stated slating me

Lol not sure how many other ways you could've put the word 'no' haha.

We filter out non verifieds so that might be part of why we don't get those. I guess newbies might be under the impression that it's a free-for-all, as that is how TV seems to represent 'swinging', and so not understand that the answer could be no, so they maybe thought it was a bit like Argos, you browse for what you want, choose one and then send them a message to get them round at a time convenient to them haha.

Now there's a new concept

I choose this one, have her scrubbed and brought to my room immediately!

Lol I've been in clubs a few times were new members think this is how it works. One actually approached me and said how does this work do I just say I choose you and then we get a room!! "

Lots of people think that is what happens. They don't know what swinging is. They think it's a form of prostitution.

I don't see the issue. Politely explain or they will never learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe we should have colour coded profiles, red, amber, green, according to someone's expressed interest in you.

You start chatting, either side can select their interest level, and alter it again at any time, so it reflects the prevailing sentiment.

If a meet is provisionally agreed both sides, it moves to green. Unless blocked etc. "

Green = friends

Amber = hotlist

Red = blocked

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By *uxomBloomsWoman
over a year ago

Near Tunbridge Wells

If someone has put some degree of effort into writing to me then I always try to respond. If no effort has been made and they have clearly not read my profile then sometimes I won't bother to respond. It's a matter of courtesy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i don't see what the difference between no reply and "woohoo you go champ but not for us" really is.....

it also feels like the people who complain about this are those with a sense of entitlement that they are "owed" a reply

if the mindset was different in that everything is no until you actually get told otherwise as opposed to everything being yes!!! I don't think people would whinge half as much "

If only ..... Like the philosophy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its equally as frustrating to receive tonnes of unwanted messages from people who dont read profiles because if they did theyd know their message was unwanted in the 1st place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fair play to the woman and couples on here who take the time to message back even when they are not interested,

Just think it is good manners but i do understand more often than not they are flooded with messages and cant reply to everyone but for people who take the time deserve a shout out

"
i agree if they acually read it then a quick yes or no its common courtesy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried both options and after replying politely "no" I've had the "why not?"."what's wrong with me I'm better than most of your veri's"." You're a stuck up bitch" and the " you're fake and a guy just prick teasing"

So then I tried not replying and got called ignorant etc' so now I state in my profile what won't get a reply. That hasn't stopped guys 200 miles away messaging or the silhouettes.

Damned if ya do. Damned if ya dont.

.xX Jo Xx.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Sometimes I'm good so I'll take the praise

Sometimes I'm not so I'll take the criticism too

I just do what works for me at the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the rare occasion I do send a message, I never look out for a response...If they do...they do...if not...so what !

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I always reply. But I'm not sure I would be arsed if my unsolicited messages went from my 10 a week to 1000.

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By *emini1637Woman
over a year ago

Warwickshire


"1. Don't reply.

2. If you DO reply with a no thank you BLOCK immediately.

3. Smile and continue to enjoy."

I wish I had done this several times but never think a barrage of abuse will come my way because I've had manners to say no!

One guy yesterday asked why I said no so was truthful and said I wasn't attracted to him and got insults thrown at me!! I will remain polite but will block straight away from now on thanks for the tip!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no reply is a no thanks, blatantly obvious.

I can't understand why people want a no thanks reply. What purpose does it serve. I don't ask people to message me, I never expect a no thanks to messages I've sent.

But if it helps an ego to think of me as a rude, I'll mannered git then so be it, that is what I am.

I'm still not going to reply.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There's manners/being polite

Then there's dealing with fools and freaks

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By *ich54Man
over a year ago

Near Tewkesbury

I simply do not expect a reply, any I do get is a bonus, to those who do express an interest I do send a reply.

I always read the profile, many do not, their choice, a send a considered reply, never the "wanna fuck" type it's rude and disrespectful.

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