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Fight or Flight?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Regarding relationships...How hard would you fight for something you truly believed in?

Would you fight irrespective of the consequences?

Or is the better option to walk away sooner rather than later?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Regarding relationships...How hard would you fight for something you truly believed in?

Would you fight irrespective of the consequences?

Or is the better option to walk away sooner rather than later?"

It is too open a question. The answer is entirely dependant on the circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only worth fighting for if you both want it. If its a one-sided fight you are always going to lose.

Sometimes it is far better to just hold your head up high and walk away.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It is too open a question. The answer is entirely dependant on the circumstances."

Are the circumstances totally relevant? Or does it depend on your principles?

Or am I being selfish by even considering fighting for what I believe in?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

When one is in the middle of things going pete tong ones judgement will never not be affected..

emotions and what one wants to believe tend to conflict..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"emotions and what one wants to believe tend to conflict.. "

So there's no best answer? Or there's no answer full stop? Neither choice is a happy path.

Worse is it's my fault. So I guess naturally my guilt is leading my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Regarding relationships...How hard would you fight for something you truly believed in?

Would you fight irrespective of the consequences?

Or is the better option to walk away sooner rather than later?"

If only fight if we both wanted it to work. Otherwise I'd walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"emotions and what one wants to believe tend to conflict..

So there's no best answer? Or there's no answer full stop? Neither choice is a happy path.

Worse is it's my fault. So I guess naturally my guilt is leading my thoughts.

"

If you've done something you feel was wrong all you can do is sincerely apologise. Explain how you feel and what you want to happen next and leave it with them. You can't fight for it and by the sounds of it walking away will leave you feeling like you needed to explain.

Without knowing details I'd suggest say what you need to say and after that there isn't really much more you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't have to if the love is there....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You shouldn't have to if the love is there...."

This is entirely my point...what if love is there but heavily buried when the walls came crashing down.

Would you fight to rediscover the love? Or walk away leaving it buried?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It would depend what you've done.

Entirely.

There are things that can be forgiven.

Shagging her Mum over the back of her sofa while she's asleep upstairs is probably gonna take a bit more time to get over.

Seriously though, guilt is a wasted emotion. What's done can't be changed. It's what you do now that's important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fight is a strong word and suggests a battle. Does the other party want you to fight for them ?

Now work is a better concept as it suggests you're doing it together and both want it. I believe you should work hard at anything if it's failing. Then at least you know you did your best when you reflect and moving on makes more sense.

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London


"It's only worth fighting for if you both want it. If its a one-sided fight you are always going to lose.

Sometimes it is far better to just hold your head up high and walk away."

Some people just don't like being alone. So they "fight" for the relationship.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

There is an on-going debate in our house about religion, as passed down by the school to our daughter, versus my (very strongly held) atheist beliefs.

I keep a lid on it for Christmas.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"emotions and what one wants to believe tend to conflict..

So there's no best answer? Or there's no answer full stop? Neither choice is a happy path.

Worse is it's my fault. So I guess naturally my guilt is leading my thoughts.

"

Was not saying that there's no best answer, your best answer may not be what the other person will say..

on the other hand they may do..

as others have said the details are sketchy and in some ways probably not best served on a public forum but maybe in private with friends whom you trust and will support you both but also will give advice..

guilt is another emotion and will cloud your thoughts..

wish you well..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't have to fight for the love hun if it's already there.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

What if you are prince Vultan and can do both at maximum volume?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is too open a question. The answer is entirely dependant on the circumstances.

Are the circumstances totally relevant? Or does it depend on your principles?

Or am I being selfish by even considering fighting for what I believe in?"

Yes, they are relevant. No idea equals no possibly relevant answer.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Fighting to me means you are using some sort of persuasion to keep the other person in the relationship with you. If that is what is meant I guess I would not fight because it takes two to make a happy relationship and usually, when relationships end (not necessarily fail!) it is just that one person has noticed and voiced that it is not working for them... before the other does.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

[Removed by poster at 04/08/15 19:41:38]

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Be careful of game playing:

"If s/he loves me they will fight for me" or "If I show how much I want this s/he will love me" scenarios.

As to "whatever the consequences" no one really means that. The consequence could be total alienation rather than forging a new path where you respect what has gone before (remembering the good, forgiving the bad) and move onto with new expectations.

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