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Dominance - A manifestation of society?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The connections aren't tight?

A fault in the wiring?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?"

Would you care to expand on this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's scientific, inbuilt animal instinct. Look at the animal kingdom for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blame statistics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?"

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not"

There appears to be one on fab?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?"

It's more than apparent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?"

Are you saying there is to much competition? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?"

I am contacted by as many Dommes as I am Doms.

There are bound to be more Doms on the site due to there being more men, but from my experience from those I've conversed with am almost equal number of female sub, switch and Dommes. What I do find is there appears to be less male subs however that is probably down to the fact they would be less inclined to contact us given R is straight and I don't switch.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?

I am contacted by as many Dommes as I am Doms.

There are bound to be more Doms on the site due to there being more men, but from my experience from those I've conversed with am almost equal number of female sub, switch and Dommes. What I do find is there appears to be less male subs however that is probably down to the fact they would be less inclined to contact us given R is straight and I don't switch."

A good point and great to have a couples PoV in the discussion

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

"

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it."

Bang on, and hence why you have so many guys on here begging for scraps, it's like a sexless, genderless unemployment line.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?"

The SMS alpha-male is what I long for too

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?"

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable)."

Omg. Seriously? You believe what you just wrote?

I never submit to anyone because I feel lesser. Ever.

I am a well rounded individual confident in my sexuality who enjoys those moments in my life where I can give my full trust to my lover and allow them to take me places I can't get to myself

I believe I've read it all now!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Selfishness. Force. Not being able to get what you want with persuasion.

I think that's why a lot of people go for 'domination'. That's why white men were the 'dominants' of the human species for a long time and why society was formed the way it was.

Many people didn't like it, that's why society changed and is continuing to change right now. More people want the right to live in peace and not be dominated or oppressed.

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable).

Omg. Seriously? You believe what you just wrote?

I never submit to anyone because I feel lesser. Ever.

I am a well rounded individual confident in my sexuality who enjoys those moments in my life where I can give my full trust to my lover and allow them to take me places I can't get to myself

I believe I've read it all now!!!"

As i said im tired, and it could be explained better, there are other factors too that lead to submission, but i was on the topic of power, If i explained everything i'd be here all day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?"

Too many wannabe Christain Greys? Who actually haven't got a clue when it comes down to it....

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By *rab74Man
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Wrong place to ask the question. Try Fetlife. Then you're likely to be asking that question to people who do genuinely do it and who may know what they're talking about - and won't for instance spout bollocks about it being about insecurity.

Fwiw, the averages are definitely in favour of the male dom, female sub. Why this is, you can analyse to death, and losers with more time to prat about than desire to actually do stuff have duly wasted time trying to do that. The answer generally is variations on a theme of "we just do".

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By *ts artMan
over a year ago

Londonderry


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable).

Omg. Seriously? You believe what you just wrote?

I never submit to anyone because I feel lesser. Ever.

I am a well rounded individual confident in my sexuality who enjoys those moments in my life where I can give my full trust to my lover and allow them to take me places I can't get to myself

I believe I've read it all now!!!"

I say stick around you may not have reaf it all yet, there will perhaps be more along the line explaining the subs role to serve is based in the subs need to feel they have this big strong Dom to protect them and swoon mills and boon fashion back of hand to forehead or something of that ilk. Strange how some dont seem to understand the dynamics of D/s,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I believe I've read it all now!!!

I say stick around you may not have reaf it all yet, there will perhaps be more along the line explaining the subs role to serve is based in the subs need to feel they have this big strong Dom to protect them and swoon mills and boon fashion back of hand to forehead or something of that ilk. Strange how some dont seem to understand the dynamics of D/s, "

This made me giggle. Thanks

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable)."

Females have energy.

It isn't Masculine energy.

They are FEMALES.

Hands off our energy you redundant hunter.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

P.S.

I think somewhere in the midst of all your knowledge you are confusing natural dominance , strong charachters, roleplay, confidence , switching, delusion , twats, inadequate personalities , psychopaths , gender roles and assumptions and making a lovely pool of mud with it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?"

On other sites and at many clubs I'd say it's pretty 50/50 with women who identify as dominant. This site seems to be an abnormality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I firmly believe that the preponderance of men acting as Doms is a manifestation of society, or at least a previous generations society. Why do you think there is this apparent current imbalance?

I'm not sure I think there is a current imbalance, apparent or not

There appears to be one on fab?

I am contacted by as many Dommes as I am Doms.

There are bound to be more Doms on the site due to there being more men, but from my experience from those I've conversed with am almost equal number of female sub, switch and Dommes. What I do find is there appears to be less male subs however that is probably down to the fact they would be less inclined to contact us given R is straight and I don't switch."

From my observation, I'd say there were considerably more submissive men here than dominant men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example."

Huh. Interesting.

My female dominance comes from the fact I like to tie people up and hurt the for sexual pleasure. Not from any repressed need or masculine energy.

I don't compete with others. And I only tie people up who want to be tied up and hurt.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"P.S.

I think somewhere in the midst of all your knowledge you are confusing natural dominance , strong charachters, roleplay, confidence , switching, delusion , twats, inadequate personalities , psychopaths , gender roles and assumptions and making a lovely pool of mud with it xx "

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I blame skinny jeans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actions speak louder than words. Saying you're something does not necessarily make you so. Fetlife is as full of wannabes as this place, however that does not make them wrong - just wrong for me, or you, or anyone else who preferences don't match.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable).

Omg. Seriously? You believe what you just wrote?

I never submit to anyone because I feel lesser. Ever.

I am a well rounded individual confident in my sexuality who enjoys those moments in my life where I can give my full trust to my lover and allow them to take me places I can't get to myself

I believe I've read it all now!!!

As i said im tired, and it could be explained better, there are other factors too that lead to submission, but i was on the topic of power, If i explained everything i'd be here all day "

Ok so men were hunter gatherers, they have masculine energy that builds up and needs released and to assure themselves of masculinity they live a dominant lifestyle.

Females have masculine energy that gives rise to ego among other things and is why they dominate.

Both sexes have a level of self worth not usually apparent in the submissive.

Really, I would love to hear your views on the submissive more.

Or, here's an idea. Those of us who live the lifestyle could explain.

Dominance, submission and those who switch do not do it due to some character trait linked with ego or competition, nor cave man links. In fact the opposite is true, a dominant needs to have a huge amount of empathy to understand how a sub is feeling to know where to take them next, and how quickly they can handle that.

A sub is not lesser, they are totally equal and submit because they choose. To choose to give submission is not weakness, it is empowerment to the Dom and can only be truly done when the sub understands their needs and is confident enough to search it out.

There will be many factors that drives D and s, some will be regaining a sense of masculinity but I would guess this is in the minority. The reason being is usually players are enhancing not compensating.

If you view D/s as a sexual preference and try and see how ridiculous it would be to try and explain what drives someone into dogging or anal or same sex partners. Then you may understand how complex the drivers are that lead to this and how a huge sweeping statement by someone quite obviously with no experience of the scene sounds.

And now I will return the post to the op and apologise for the hijacking of it. I need to go and serve my master to make me feel better about myself and him to feel like a man as obviously running into burning buildings saving folk isn't hardcore enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

"

Bang on

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

Bang on "

In this day and age I worry whenever I see a link between 'dominance', 'masculinity' and an apparent erosion of 'traditional male roles'.

It's as if some can't survive in a world where men no longer have to be stereotypically assertive, physical and live up to a pre-conceived notion that unless they can demonstrate some kind of gender related attributes then they are in some way lesser men?

Have times not changed? Has ther been no progress over the last thousand or so years?

Feeling as if you are in some way a lesser being because there's less of a gender gap in the world in terms of historical 'nurturing' and 'hunter/gatherer' roles highlights an inability to relate to anything other than your physical nature.

Why do men have to demonstrate physical strength, power and assertiveness to be men? Should women be expected to do nothing more than have babies, stay at home cooking, cleaning and playing housewife? This is the 21st century FFS! Gender stereotypes should be a thing of the past.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id suggest that dominance is more apparent now the roles of males have been taken away. of course there are exceptions to the role but as hunter gatherers, males exerted their masculine energy in hunting, killing and providing for their families.

This society has made that role insignificant, and therefore that masculine energy builds up and making model aeroplanes or mowing the lawn doesn't quite cut it.

To assure ourselves of our masculinity alongdie cultivated childhoods clouded with ego and competition... bam we have the need to asset/dominate upon others.

im sure my argument could be explained better but i'm a bit tired

That doesn't take account of any aspect of female domination, how does that fit with your argument.

And is the flip side to this that a female sub longs for that traditional role of homemaker or nurturer?

Dominance comes from sexual equality... really?

Or is it a character trait or sexual preference that's apparent in both sexes?

my bad...

Females have both masculine and feminine energy, and i'd agree with females natural role as the nurturer, (thats not me saying women shouldn't work or drive or whatever else, just to cover my ass. )

Female dominance comes with the ego and competition again, simply the concept that to make your way in the world you have to compete with your peers... gives rise to some kind of hierarchy, and the need to 'dominate'. seeing as females have masculine energy too (usually significant in a maternal protectiveness type aspect as one example.

also dominance comes with the idea of self-worth... you would generally submit if you saw yourself as a lesser being. and that leads to insecurities cultivated by media or peer pressure or whatever else. as such you would tend to see empowered men and women as 'dominant.'

Men generally don't have as much power any more we gave it away when we acted in creating society (is reclaimable).

Omg. Seriously? You believe what you just wrote?

I never submit to anyone because I feel lesser. Ever.

I am a well rounded individual confident in my sexuality who enjoys those moments in my life where I can give my full trust to my lover and allow them to take me places I can't get to myself

I believe I've read it all now!!!

As i said im tired, and it could be explained better, there are other factors too that lead to submission, but i was on the topic of power, If i explained everything i'd be here all day

Ok so men were hunter gatherers, they have masculine energy that builds up and needs released and to assure themselves of masculinity they live a dominant lifestyle.

Females have masculine energy that gives rise to ego among other things and is why they dominate.

Both sexes have a level of self worth not usually apparent in the submissive.

Really, I would love to hear your views on the submissive more.

Or, here's an idea. Those of us who live the lifestyle could explain.

Dominance, submission and those who switch do not do it due to some character trait linked with ego or competition, nor cave man links. In fact the opposite is true, a dominant needs to have a huge amount of empathy to understand how a sub is feeling to know where to take them next, and how quickly they can handle that.

A sub is not lesser, they are totally equal and submit because they choose. To choose to give submission is not weakness, it is empowerment to the Dom and can only be truly done when the sub understands their needs and is confident enough to search it out.

There will be many factors that drives D and s, some will be regaining a sense of masculinity but I would guess this is in the minority. The reason being is usually players are enhancing not compensating.

If you view D/s as a sexual preference and try and see how ridiculous it would be to try and explain what drives someone into dogging or anal or same sex partners. Then you may understand how complex the drivers are that lead to this and how a huge sweeping statement by someone quite obviously with no experience of the scene sounds.

And now I will return the post to the op and apologise for the hijacking of it. I need to go and serve my master to make me feel better about myself and him to feel like a man as obviously running into burning buildings saving folk isn't hardcore enough "

More sense spoken in this one post than in most of this thread. There really is some pretentious guff spouted sometimes on fab.

All IMHO of course

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I put it down to too many people hearing of 50 Shades and thinking it is an easy way to get laid, hence all the plastic doms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guff, as in male and female "energies". That's the sort of shite spouted by new age, crystal wearers. Every festish site I've been on has had lots more active male subs. Nost of the males doms were fantasists, nothing more. And a lor of the male subs went to see pro female dommes, as they knew they would get what they wanted. As a fairly vanilla site, your not going to get proper responses to your questions, even the fetish sites are packed with timewasters and fantasists. If you really want to know, go to a munch and ask the people there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guff, as in male and female "energies". That's the sort of shite spouted by new age, crystal wearers. Every festish site I've been on has had lots more active male subs. Nost of the males doms were fantasists, nothing more. And a lor of the male subs went to see pro female dommes, as they knew they would get what they wanted. As a fairly vanilla site, your not going to get proper responses to your questions, even the fetish sites are packed with timewasters and fantasists. If you really want to know, go to a munch and ask the people there.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

All you men piss off and get me an antelope. I'm starving here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guff, as in male and female "energies". That's the sort of shite spouted by new age, crystal wearers. Every festish site I've been on has had lots more active male subs. Nost of the males doms were fantasists, nothing more. And a lor of the male subs went to see pro female dommes, as they knew they would get what they wanted. As a fairly vanilla site, your not going to get proper responses to your questions, even the fetish sites are packed with timewasters and fantasists. If you really want to know, go to a munch and ask the people there."
very true spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What utter bollox, that if you're sub you have low self asteem?!

And if you're dom you have an ego?!

There is in my opinion a natural order within any relationship. This order is fuck all to do with ego or self esteem.

I could've elaborated, but what's the fucking point knowing I'll just get shot down or have the piss taken out of me for doing so?!

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"What utter bollox, that if you're sub you have low self asteem?!

And if you're dom you have an ego?!

There is in my opinion a natural order within any relationship. This order is fuck all to do with ego or self esteem.

I could've elaborated, but what's the fucking point knowing I'll just get shot down or have the piss taken out of me for doing so?!

"

i appreciate your comment, and no, i wont shoot you down, i understand each has their own perspective, just as i have my own, none are right or wrong, and shooting you down would do nothing to help anyone.

Nice to see so many open minded individuals, thanks for the comments

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

The sub is always in control. They get all the fun. I simply facilitate that fun and get turned on by the beautiful gift of submission.

I'd suggest wannabe Doms who stomp around professing to be so is down to simple insecurity. The gender power balance in the West has shifted and their precious sense of 'warrior' is under attack. Funny how so many of them switch when put on the spot.

Most couldn't Dom their way out of a paper bag...

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