FabSwingers.com forum: "What exactly are swingers?"

By *ldestswingerintown OP Man
over a year ago

Lancaster

It might seem a bit peculiar, but this was the reply to an introductory message I sent to a woman whose profile had just appeared on this site. It's actually a good question! - anyone care to give an answer?

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Answer your own mail with your thoughts, rather than expecting to find the perfect answer to her question here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My balls

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

people meeting for sex, people looking for sex release by pic titivation, cam sex, flirty message exchange, cam room fun, forum fawning, adult conversation, dogging, club scene, meeting through socials, dating, looking for love, gang bangs, greed girl, looking for taxi service to clubs, sex in exchange for gifts.... and a good few other activities

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

We have been swinging many years we got married very young i was 17 Paul 19.

Paul was my first and i was more or less his we were child hood sweethearts.

We just wanted to see what other people were like and not go behind each other.

No mater how much you love some one you want to see what another cock feels like and the same for men want to see what another pussy is like.

Swinging as made our marriage very strong and happy happier than all our friends are who most of them have gone behind each other.

None of our friends have a clue about this side of our life and look down on swingers but think it,s ok to play away behind there partner.

Nearly all the people we have met over the years have been nice people happily married and in love.

That what we call swinging think when it,s just single,s it,s just shagging

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

greedy girl fun*

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and then for some of the straight lads... looks for a cock up their arse..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the "_ldestswingerintown" then if you don't know how do the rest of us?

For me...it is a whole lifestyle choice...though not one that rules my day to day life.

I also see from the forums the swarms (lol...the word is being discussed on TV now)....the swarms of "single" (often married) guys on here who think it is all about "grabashag" and just do not understand the ethos/lifestyle thing.

IMHO

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

according to The Oxford English Dictionary : To Swing - Be promiscuous, especially by engaging in group sex or swapping sexual partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers had a whole new meaning in the 50's

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"according to The Oxford English Dictionary : To Swing - Be promiscuous, especially by engaging in group sex or swapping sexual partners.

Although a better definition I read was "People who are Sexually Free Spirited".

Cal

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I am interested in other peoples definitions. I have often but up my definition/understanding and other people have shot me down, without giving a definition of their own.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I wouldn't really know other that I am ace

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"people meeting for sex, people looking for sex release by pic titivation, cam sex, flirty message exchange, cam room fun, forum fawning, adult conversation, dogging, club scene, meeting through socials, dating, looking for love, gang bangs, greed girl, looking for taxi service to clubs, sex in exchange for gifts.... and a good few other activities"

Could you be more specific?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

A swinger for me is more than someone wanting N.S.A

For me it's people who share a certain mind set / belief / lifestyle in which sex is natural, unashamed and recreational;not hampered by jealousies and false moralities.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Swingers had a whole new meaning in the 50's"

No. The new meaning is now.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"As the "_ldestswingerintown" then if you don't know how do the rest of us?

For me...it is a whole lifestyle choice...though not one that rules my day to day life.

IMHO"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers are middle aged couples that swap partners. The women have tight curly perms. The men have massive taches. All have copious amounts of body hair. The men are in charge of the swaps, the women do as they are told.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

That's Friday night in Glasgow View

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Swingers are middle aged couples that swap partners. The women have tight curly perms. The men have massive taches. All have copious amounts of body hair. The men are in charge of the swaps, the women do as they are told.

Yeah. The men carry the car keys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A swinger for me is more than someone wanting N.S.A

For me it's people who share a certain mind set / belief / lifestyle in which sex is natural, unashamed and recreational;not hampered by jealousies and false moralities. "

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

That's Friday night in Glasgow View "

very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have been swinging many years we got married very young i was 17 Paul 19.

Paul was my first and i was more or less his we were child hood sweethearts.

We just wanted to see what other people were like and not go behind each other.

No mater how much you love some one you want to see what another cock feels like and the same for men want to see what another pussy is like.

Swinging as made our marriage very strong and happy happier than all our friends are who most of them have gone behind each other.

None of our friends have a clue about this side of our life and look down on swingers but think it,s ok to play away behind there partner.

Nearly all the people we have met over the years have been nice people happily married and in love.

That what we call swinging think when it,s just single,s it,s just shagging "
Very wise and the double of us and our thoughts on the question

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By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle

Swingers are happy bunch of liberated people where there is no room for jealousy. Its not just about sex, its about interaction, feeling liberated in its true sense just how nature intended

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"A swinger for me is more than someone wanting N.S.A

For me it's people who share a certain mind set / belief / lifestyle in which sex is natural, unashamed and recreational;not hampered by jealousies and false moralities.

we are doomed, doomed I say

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 02/08/15 10:33:45]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

swingers are people with all the faults and insecurities that non-swingers have.

There are as many liberated and open minded people without jealousy in the non-swinging community as there are within it ...in fact I'd say there are more.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"A swinger for me is more than someone wanting N.S.A

For me it's people who share a certain mind set / belief / lifestyle in which sex is natural, unashamed and recreational;not hampered by jealousies and false moralities.

we are doomed, doomed I say"

I blame the Tories.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I would say this is nonsense. You might saying doing all of those things make you a swinger, but they dont individually. Also there are plenty of swingers who dont do some of those things. My wife would never be a greedy girl for example, looking at porn doesn't make you a swinger, otherwise virtually everyone on the planet would be a swinger!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

And they occasionally get stuck together like Velcro!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a list of possibilities, not a checklist where people do all.

So what's a swinger?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is for couples = Wife swapping.

Singles use it as a sex site.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Crikey I think I

you

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

"swingers are people with all the faults and insecurities that non-swingers have.

There are as many .... open minded people .... in the non-swinging community as there are within it ...in fact I'd say there are more."

Given the bigotry, racism and parochialism of some of the posts on these forums I would say this is definitely true.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

good for you and your wife...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crikey I think I

you

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I was going to say 'looking for a newer fresher bit of cock or pussy' but that again will not apply to all swingers...

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I would say that swinging is a lifestyle in which people practise or believe in ethical non-monogamy with multiple partners.

I say practise or believe, because singles can be swingers too, but obviously they dont have anyone to be non-monogamous with. If they believe in it, they wont suddenly stop being a swinger as soon as they are in a relationship.

I added the multiple partner part because if you are just playing (on a permanent basis) with your partner and one other, that more of a monogamy triangle, rather swinging, or it could also be polyamory rather than swinging.

The ethical part means everyone knows about it and is consenting to it. There isnt a spouse or partner being kept in the dark that doesnt know what is happening and they believe their partner is being monogamous when they actually are not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is for couples = Wife swapping.

Singles use it as a sex site."

Shaggy,being on a swingers' website does not make you a swinger. There's a big,wide world out there full of swingers who have never heard of Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big tits or big bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say that swinging is a lifestyle in which people practise or believe in ethical non-monogamy with multiple partners.

That fits with View's post. So why disagree?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our definition of swinging is freedom .

The freedom to do whatever you like with other consenting , like minded people people , and to turn dreams into reality .

No jealousy , no guilt , just sexual liberation and fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a swinger,I doubt I ever will be as I'm not sociable enough for the swinging community. I don't like the Idea of clubs or spas or joining a couple for some bi ffm sex. I prefer intimate liaisons with one man,who I have formed a bond with for no drama sex. My fwbs and I have some wonderful times alone. Contrary to what someone said earlier,it isn't just shagging and wanting to feel other peoples' genitals,that's for the couples who want something more than they get with their partner,without the intimacy that causes jealousy.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Our definition of swinging is freedom .

The freedom to do whatever you like with other consenting , like minded people people , and to turn dreams into reality .

No jealousy , no guilt , just sexual liberation and fun

I would agree with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is for couples = Wife swapping.

Singles use it as a sex site.

Shaggy,being on a swingers' website does not make you a swinger. There's a big,wide world out there full of swingers who have never heard of Fab

"
That right and I guess they use other avenues and things.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am single and I practise non monogamy with myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a swinger,I doubt I ever will be as I'm not sociable enough for the swinging community. I don't like the Idea of clubs or spas or joining a couple for some bi ffm sex. I prefer intimate liaisons with one man,who I have formed a bond with for no drama sex. My fwbs and I have some wonderful times alone. Contrary to what someone said earlier,it isn't just shagging and wanting to feel other peoples' genitals,that's for the couples who want something more than they get with their partner,without the intimacy that causes jealousy. "

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority ."

And no social required. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x "

Absolutely right , we don't feel the need to talk too much before meeting . If after a couple of messages and pics there isn't a connection , we don't meet that person . And there's no way we want to waste precious playing time with a coffee or a social meet .

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority ."

If you don't become intimate with someone who isn't your partner there will be no cause for becoming jealous. I was referring to the couple who said they just wanted to feel another pussy and cock and didn't relate it to just shagging. Lots of couples have a very rewarding sex life involving multiple other people,the same as single people. Either way,it can be just shagging or something more. The definition of swinging is malleable and open to interpretation. I'm sexually liberated and I don't want a relationship at the moment. I want sexual experiences and was pointing out that the swinging scene wouldn't be for me. That doesn't mean my sex is any different to that of a couple who swing. I have 3somes with married people and people who are friends. When I'm with them it doesn't suddenly become something different,it just involves another person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

You're not really swingers then if you don't want the social part. That's what I have been told. Wouldn't that be shagging?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You are going to have to give a defintion of 'social'

To some it might mean food, swilling beer, telling jokes, singing round a camp fire.

BUT...... i'd say people who are together, enjoying sex, being erotic and sensual are being pretty fooking social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

You're not really swingers then if you don't want the social part. That's what I have been told. Wouldn't that be shagging? "

We have been told the same thing , we aren't really swingers as we don't engage in the social side of swinging .

As I said , we see swinging as a lifestyle choice which brings like minded people people into our lives on a sexual level . Nothing more and nothing less .

We don't sit silently when we meet people , or jump straight into the sex , but neither do we spend hours talking about our day , our kids , holidays , and drinking etc.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are going to have to give a defintion of 'social'

To some it might mean food, swilling beer, telling jokes, singing round a camp fire.

BUT...... i'd say people who are together, enjoying sex, being erotic and sensual are being pretty fooking social. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

taking another bi female to bed with my husbands consent..is what swinging is for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It might seem a bit peculiar, but this was the reply to an introductory message I sent to a woman whose profile had just appeared on this site. It's actually a good question! - anyone care to give an answer?"

There is, of course, the dictionary definition. The Oxford dictionary is available via Google. There are also variations voiced by individuals. They are just as valid. Language changes with time. I would not worry too much about the definition of the term. Is your question not more to do with what you are looking for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

You're not really swingers then if you don't want the social part. That's what I have been told. Wouldn't that be shagging?

We have been told the same thing , we aren't really swingers as we don't engage in the social side of swinging .

As I said , we see swinging as a lifestyle choice which brings like minded people people into our lives on a sexual level . Nothing more and nothing less .

We don't sit silently when we meet people , or jump straight into the sex , but neither do we spend hours talking about our day , our kids , holidays , and drinking etc....... "

Stupid isn't it how one word can cause so much animosity and outrage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm usually very vocal on this..but cant be arsed the day

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

People with high sex drives and low morals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here for the sex and good times not for the definition so can't help you on that one.

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

"Our definition of swinging is freedom .

The freedom to do whatever you like with other consenting , like minded people people , and to turn dreams into reality .

No jealousy , no guilt , just sexual liberation and fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

You're not really swingers then if you don't want the social part. That's what I have been told. Wouldn't that be shagging?

We have been told the same thing , we aren't really swingers as we don't engage in the social side of swinging .

As I said , we see swinging as a lifestyle choice which brings like minded people people into our lives on a sexual level . Nothing more and nothing less .

We don't sit silently when we meet people , or jump straight into the sex , but neither do we spend hours talking about our day , our kids , holidays , and drinking etc.......

Stupid isn't it how one word can cause so much animosity and outrage. "

I must be reading a different post , where is the animosity and outrage ?

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

I'm a believer in the social aspect of swinging. For me, the socialising distinguishes swinging from NSA. Otherwise, you'd have to classify everything as swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Intimacy doesn't cause jealousy !

Insecurity causes it , a meet without intimacy is soulless , contrived , devoid of eroticism , cold , and for us futile .

We love intimacy , kissing , stroking , nibbling , finding erogenous zones and totally engrossing ourselves with playmates . For the duration of the time spent with a meet intimacy is a priority .

And no social required. x

Too much socialising spoils the reason we meet , it's about enjoying and expressing sexually charged , intimate and erotic experiences for us .

We aren't really interested in how many kids folk have , whet food they enjoy , their political leaning or what paper they read .

You're not really swingers then if you don't want the social part. That's what I have been told. Wouldn't that be shagging?

We have been told the same thing , we aren't really swingers as we don't engage in the social side of swinging .

As I said , we see swinging as a lifestyle choice which brings like minded people people into our lives on a sexual level . Nothing more and nothing less .

We don't sit silently when we meet people , or jump straight into the sex , but neither do we spend hours talking about our day , our kids , holidays , and drinking etc.......

Stupid isn't it how one word can cause so much animosity and outrage.

I must be reading a different post , where is the animosity and outrage ? "

I meant in general with people accusing others of not being real swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a believer in the social aspect of swinging. For me, the socialising distinguishes swinging from NSA. Otherwise, you'd have to classify everything as swinging. "

We do , and will continue to classify sexual encounters with others as swinging .

If you believe socialising distinguishes swinging from NSA that's fine with us