FabSwingers.com forum: Ikea...

By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I need some bits from the big blue shop but I'm currently having trouble motivating myself to go. Usually I quite like shopping but Ikea on a Saturday fills me with dread.

I'm trying to decide whether I should just man up, get dressed and be there for opening time at 10am or whether coffee and a bacon butty and go later... much later, is a better call.

I don't seem able to go there without coming home with stuff I didn't intend to buy. It's the only shop I do that in. Do you think they hypnotise you on the way in... you MUST buy tealights and a couple of dish towels?!!

First world problems and all that.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't forget the lime green spherical thingy with bumps on and holes in. Get two.

I don't know what they're for! Just get two !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat food and go later!!! Take a friend and watch them buy stuff they don't really need. Them tea lights tho are a bargain, nationwide prob

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Don't forget the lime green spherical thingy with bumps on and holes in. Get two.

I don't know what they're for! Just get two !"

Would they fit on my tits?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go this evening

I went the a Saturday evening was quiet but spent £141 on bits and bobs.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Don't forget a big bag of straws, some novelty fruit shaped ice cube trays, some hot dog mustard and a fistful of small pencils. (Well they are free of course!

)

And grab a few of those tear off paper tape measures.

You can send them to any VWE guys that mail you and get them to mark an accurate measurement on it and return by post for confirmation.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Eat food and go later!!! Take a friend and watch them buy stuff they don't really need. Them tea lights tho are a bargain, nationwide prob

Oh now that's a good idea! Haha!

I have a million tealights and yet still more seem to jump into the trolley!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Don't forget the lime green spherical thingy with bumps on and holes in. Get two.

I don't know what they're for! Just get two !

Would they fit on my tits?

Nothing's that big !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NEVER go when its busy, you might get stuck in the one way system, pass what you wanted and not be able to go back without having to go around again !

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Eat breakfast at IKEA and if you have a family card use the savings to contribute to the stuffs you buy unintentionally. Win win, well, less of a loss in all honesty.

Him

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Go this evening

I went the a Saturday evening was quiet but spent £141 on bits and bobs. "

It shuts at 7pm but I'm thinking late afternoon has to be less of a ball ache. Bet I still spend a fortune.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sooo love ikea hotdogs!! Omg they are amazing... I buy four just for me.... X

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Don't forget a big bag of straws, some novelty fruit shaped ice cube trays, some hot dog mustard and a fistful of small pencils. (Well they are free of course!

)

And grab a few of those tear off paper tape measures.

You can send them to any VWE guys that mail you and get them to mark an accurate measurement on it and return by post for confirmation.

I'm going for straws!

Doesn't everyone drink with a straw?

I already have those feckin ice cube trays. I don't think I've ever used the stars that were too pretty to resist buying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in a remotet part of the country where the closest one to me in around 2 hours away.. not that i have ever been to that store.

i visited the one in Coventry and got confused by the lift, then felt like i was in a herd of sheep as i just went with the flow and followed the yellow line

i ended up buying plain picture frames and a bed canopy/mosquito net thing.. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need some bits from the big blue shop but I'm currently having trouble motivating myself to go. Usually I quite like shopping but Ikea on a Saturday fills me with dread.

I'm trying to decide whether I should just man up, get dressed and be there for opening time at 10am or whether coffee and a bacon butty and go later... much later, is a better call.

First world problems and all that. "

Have your coffee and bacon butty there

what ever you do, enjoy

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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago

Cardiff

I love Ikea, sad I know. I always go first thing, I'm out before the crowds are slowly drifting round, stopping to randomly chat in everyone's way, totally oblivious to what's going on around them ...

but then I'm like that where ever I go shopping. People get on my nerves so I shop early in peace and then spend the rest of the day doing what I want to do instead of stuck behind shufflers.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've eaten breakfast, am drinking coffee and the fridge delivery people have text and given me a time for tomorrow (I know, my life is so glam!) so I'm already procrastinating Ikea till tomorrow afternoon!

The lure of a free day doing not very much is proving too much. Well I say that, I have to defrost my current fridge and figure out how to get the plug round behind the freezer and the washing machine. I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Glam glam glam!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The delivery guys tend to be very helpful, especially with single ladies, as soon as they show up offer them coffee or tea, they will do exactly as you ask I promise lol

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

IKEA ... Hell on earth.. Make it stop and let me out of here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went yesterday and was really good and didn't but any candles or anything I didn't want. I was really impressed with myself x

It may have been because I deliberately only took 20quid in with me lol

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'm proud of myself just done my food shop and was back home before 12

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I sneak in the Nottingham store, straight to what I want and flee, after numerous trips where I've bought Gditzkh furniture accessories, or whatever alien name is used for the bits. Nottingham always seems better than the west midlands store, though does get rammed too.

It's better to quit your job on a Monday, go to Ikea avoiding the crowds, and hope you'll be recalled, before being broke, than visit at the weekend, surely?

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ikea is my idea of hell on earth. I was recently forced to go to the one at Nottingham. The friend I was with couldn't believe I asked a member of staff where the suicide booths were...

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

always wanted to have a game of hide and seak in an ikea store whos up for a flash mob lol

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I drive 30 mins to get to IKEA, battle my way through the maze, get my ankles smashed by a few of those flat-pack trolleys, then get to the check out, see the queues and think that I cant be arsed waiting and then drive 30 mins back home

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm still in my pjs parked in my giant armchair!

Mañana mañana

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once charged £6.54 for about £60 worth of stuff. I queried this but checkout operator said it was correct

In my shock I left with one of the big bags

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I'm ok till i'm about 50 yards in then the 'we got to get out of this place' song just automatically starts..

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

Nah! genius would be feeding a short extension lead through instead, so next time you move the fridge for cleaning or because you dropped something behind it- you don't need to faff round with string

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Find one of those secret doors and by-pass the arrows

Don't forget vases and bowls! Oh leave the meatballs but have jelly too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've eaten breakfast, am drinking coffee and the fridge delivery people have text and given me a time for tomorrow (I know, my life is so glam!) so I'm already procrastinating Ikea till tomorrow afternoon!

Glam glam glam!

You are SO rock and roll.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

Nah! genius would be feeding a short extension lead through instead, so next time you move the fridge for cleaning or because you dropped something behind it- you don't need to faff round with string

Move it for cleaning? Are you mad?

You're probably right but the plug it goes into already is an extension and I'm not sure I want to plug an extension into an extension.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you might need a green octopus to hang your smalls on lol good luck I love to shop there

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

Nah! genius would be feeding a short extension lead through instead, so next time you move the fridge for cleaning or because you dropped something behind it- you don't need to faff round with string

Move it for cleaning? Are you mad?

You're probably right but the plug it goes into already is an extension and I'm not sure I want to plug an extension into an extension. "

Yes, cleaning. Dust bunnies and cat fluff can gather behind your fridge on the cooling pipes and make it run less efficiently.....just zap em with the Hoover brush when you spring clean

Also, you can daisy chain extensions together with no problems as long as you never overload the whole circuit- unless you pop a fuse in one, then you have to play 'hunt the fooked extension'

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I always look at the exit experience before deciding what to do there.

They should just scan and weigh your trolley and charge that way, or something similar. It is hell, potentially the reason that they're going for smaller metro stores.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

Nah! genius would be feeding a short extension lead through instead, so next time you move the fridge for cleaning or because you dropped something behind it- you don't need to faff round with string

Move it for cleaning? Are you mad?

You're probably right but the plug it goes into already is an extension and I'm not sure I want to plug an extension into an extension.

Yes, cleaning. Dust bunnies and cat fluff can gather behind your fridge on the cooling pipes and make it run less efficiently.....just zap em with the Hoover brush when you spring clean

Also, you can daisy chain extensions together with no problems as long as you never overload the whole circuit- unless you pop a fuse in one, then you have to play 'hunt the fooked extension'

Well after an unexpected afternoon snooze

I've just emptied the cupboard under the sink and it appears that the genius who put in the kitchen has built the cupboard round the plugs... after they were plugged in. Fuckity fuck!

I'm going in with my screwdriver... I may be some time!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"......I don't even want to think about how I'm going to get the plug for the new one round them tomorrow.

Tie string round old one and secure it near socket. Pull old plug past other appliances, attach string securely to new plug and pull back to socket #geeklogic

Oh I think I might love you! That's genius!!!

Nah! genius would be feeding a short extension lead through instead, so next time you move the fridge for cleaning or because you dropped something behind it- you don't need to faff round with string

Move it for cleaning? Are you mad?

You're probably right but the plug it goes into already is an extension and I'm not sure I want to plug an extension into an extension.

Yes, cleaning. Dust bunnies and cat fluff can gather behind your fridge on the cooling pipes and make it run less efficiently.....just zap em with the Hoover brush when you spring clean

Also, you can daisy chain extensions together with no problems as long as you never overload the whole circuit- unless you pop a fuse in one, then you have to play 'hunt the fooked extension'

Well after an unexpected afternoon snooze

I've just emptied the cupboard under the sink and it appears that the genius who put in the kitchen has built the cupboard round the plugs... after they were plugged in. Fuckity fuck!

I'm going in with my screwdriver... I may be some time!

Screwdriver?

An axe would be waaaaaay quicker!

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

You need a sparky to come and fit some extra sockets for you

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Just put that emergency call in to my Dad! I have instructions for cutting wires with very strict instructions to make sure it's unplugged first!

I swear he thinks I'm a dunce. Three times he said that!!

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Fridge installed successfully (in case anyone gives a shit!) and a day late I'm braving it to ikea.

On a Sunday... I fear I must be mental!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fridge installed successfully (in case anyone gives a shit!) and a day late I'm braving it to ikea.

On a Sunday... I fear I must be mental!

Have you survived the ikea ?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Last time I went to an Ikea it was sooooo awful I made a vow never to set foot inside another store.

Shop online

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do like their stainless steel cookware. I'll soon have the whole delicatessen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

defo worth going for the flexible ice cube trays - we have the one like chocolate fingers - just mind they get sharp after the end has been warmed a little

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Fridge installed successfully (in case anyone gives a shit!) and a day late I'm braving it to ikea.

On a Sunday... I fear I must be mental!

Have you survived the ikea ?"

I didn't go. I'm officially the laziest bastard on the planet. A mate came round for a coffee after my Dad had been to fix the wiring so I just couldn't be arsed after that. I'll go tomorrow after work. I've had a lovely lazy weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fridge installed successfully (in case anyone gives a shit!) and a day late I'm braving it to ikea.

On a Sunday... I fear I must be mental!

Have you survived the ikea ?

Me too. I spent the whole day in bed alone feeling crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have two claims to fame - my cock is the size of two Ikea pencils and my second claim to fame is I am barred out of every Ikea in the U.K.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go between 7pm and 10pm it's usually quiet then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been in ikea I like good quality second had stuff lololol

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

"I do have two claims to fame - my cock is the size of two Ikea pencils and my second claim to fame is I am barred out of every Ikea in the U.K."

What do you have to do in Ikea to get banned?

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Go between 7pm and 10pm it's usually quiet then"

Yeah that's my plan. It's mainly to get some frames for the office. My roomie and I have decided to put some art up.

I like junk yard furniture more than flat pack so I go for candles, straws and freezer bags...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do have two claims to fame - my cock is the size of two Ikea pencils and my second claim to fame is I am barred out of every Ikea in the U.K.

What do you have to do in Ikea to get banned?

x"
Measure your cock in store using their pencils

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"I do have two claims to fame - my cock is the size of two Ikea pencils and my second claim to fame is I am barred out of every Ikea in the U.K.

What do you have to do in Ikea to get banned?

x Measure your cock in store using their pencils"
thought the swedes were enlightened about that sort of thing ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Ikea practically invented the modern "need" to replace everything every few years and to top up with knick-knacks, candles, straws and some new mugs inbetween.

Tiger is the new go-to place for that quirky thing you can't live without. (Well, that's my excuse for suddenly having a squeezy thing to strengthen my hands, a little glass jar of jelly beans and do-dad egg timer thing that makes lovely patterns.)

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I love tiger,we've just had one open here which is nice becasue our high street is a complete shambles

I've only ever been in Ikea once.....I was in there 2 weeks though

Well it felt like it anyway

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I love tiger,we've just had one open here which is nice becasue our high street is a complete shambles

I've only ever been in Ikea once.....I was in there 2 weeks though

Well it felt like it anyway"

We go to Ikea on the way to the cinema: we get the pick 'n' mix, the kids have a hotdog and an ice cream and we spend £5 instead of £25.

What did you get in Tiger? I'm thinking of going back for the weighted hula hoop and some more of brush tip pens for my colouring in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't been in Ikea for 15 years..

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"I love tiger,we've just had one open here which is nice becasue our high street is a complete shambles

I've only ever been in Ikea once.....I was in there 2 weeks though

Well it felt like it anyway

We go to Ikea on the way to the cinema: we get the pick 'n' mix, the kids have a hotdog and an ice cream and we spend £5 instead of £25.

What did you get in Tiger? I'm thinking of going back for the weighted hula hoop and some more of brush tip pens for my colouring in.

An Apple shaped fan,a ball game for the gardena and a nose shaped glasses holder which looks suspiciously like a butt plug

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I love tiger,we've just had one open here which is nice becasue our high street is a complete shambles

I've only ever been in Ikea once.....I was in there 2 weeks though

Well it felt like it anyway

We go to Ikea on the way to the cinema: we get the pick 'n' mix, the kids have a hotdog and an ice cream and we spend £5 instead of £25.

What did you get in Tiger? I'm thinking of going back for the weighted hula hoop and some more of brush tip pens for my colouring in.

An Apple shaped fan,a ball game for the gardena and a nose shaped glasses holder which looks suspiciously like a butt plug

I bought two of the nose shaped glasses holders. I don't know what a butt plug looks like.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I still haven't been. I appear to have some procrastination going on.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I still haven't been. I appear to have some procrastination going on.

You've avoided it for three days. No one has died and I bet you can live without whatever you wanted to get.

Go to Tiger instead.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I still haven't been. I appear to have some procrastination going on.

You've avoided it for three days. No one has died and I bet you can live without whatever you wanted to get.

Go to Tiger instead.

It's stuff for work. I think I'd have gone if it was something I needed. I love Tiger... unnecessary tat! Brilliant!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I still haven't been. I appear to have some procrastination going on.

You've avoided it for three days. No one has died and I bet you can live without whatever you wanted to get.

Go to Tiger instead.

It's stuff for work. I think I'd have gone if it was something I needed. I love Tiger... unnecessary tat! Brilliant!

Lots of frames there and smaller than trudging through Ikea.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I still haven't been. I appear to have some procrastination going on.

You've avoided it for three days. No one has died and I bet you can live without whatever you wanted to get.

Go to Tiger instead.

It's stuff for work. I think I'd have gone if it was something I needed. I love Tiger... unnecessary tat! Brilliant!

Lots of frames there and smaller than trudging through Ikea.

I found some the right size in HMV... its way less stress than ikea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive never heard of this Tiger place - just googled and nearest one to here is Derby

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"ive never heard of this Tiger place - just googled and nearest one to here is Derby

It's good but not that good. It's a long way to go to get a £1 individual tub of toffee ice cream.

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