FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I prefer to be honest on here especially as some women are seen as thinking they are better than they really are (not my words) so I tend to put myself down when I'm told how sexy/gorgeous etc I am.

If I'm told I have a nice curvy figure, I tell them, it's not curvy, it's fat.

But I've been told now that I should accept compliments & that it's off putting if I keep putting myself down after a man has said he finds me attractive.

Does anyone else put themselves down too?

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By *angerousEyesMan
over a year ago

weston

Yes.

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By *urvyemmaWoman
over a year ago

wigan/bolton

This is so unsexy. I know why you do it but stop it.

I know a guy who is gorgeous. I give him compliments and every single one he says 'you are mad', 'I am fat', 'don't be daft', 'I am not fit 'etc etc...

Eventually I thought oh forget it then and stopped paying compliments.

If someone gives you a compliment. .say thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time, but it's not deliberately self depricating, just how I honestly see myself. I have a lack of self confidence and find it hard to accept compliments.

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By *otlerCouple
over a year ago

Newbury

Never

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By *heHoneymonstersCouple
over a year ago

cambridge

Think on one level or another we all put ourselves down, I'm fat (her) and hubby is slim and the amount of times I say I wish I was skinny like him he's said he'd love a bit of meat on him just as many times, it's natural to see our own flaws and say it first, its the defense mechanism in us all but take the advice and stop turning a compliment sour, as I get told everyone sees beauty differently and if your told your sexy, smile, wiggle those hips and say thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't put myself down, but I do think it's just patter, say thanks and ignore it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same, I'm the worse at receiving compliments. I have nooooo self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer to be honest on here especially as some women are seen as thinking they are better than they really are (not my words) so I tend to put myself down when I'm told how sexy/gorgeous etc I am.

If I'm told I have a nice curvy figure, I tell them, it's not curvy, it's fat.

But I've been told now that I should accept compliments & that it's off putting if I keep putting myself down after a man has said he finds me attractive.

Does anyone else put themselves down too?"
Can't fault you tbh well just the Norwich City top maybe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a mixture of many things, some are keyboard warriors, others have been abused online and this has dented their outlook, the list is endless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think on one level or another we all put ourselves down, I'm fat (her) and hubby is slim and the amount of times I say I wish I was skinny like him he's said he'd love a bit of meat on him just as many times, it's natural to see our own flaws and say it first, its the defense mechanism in us all but take the advice and stop turning a compliment sour, as I get told everyone sees beauty differently and if your told your sexy, smile, wiggle those hips and say thank you xx "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There's a gracious art to giving and receiving care for ourselves and others.

And an unattractive industrial strength mopping up and squeezing every last drop of forced compliments, to inflate a shrunken ego, that's dry as a prune.

Enjoy the sweetness that others wish for you. Feedback needn't distort your perception into something far from reality. Let others take their view of you and make their own impressions.

As long as you stay grounded, it's all fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a gracious art to giving and receiving care for ourselves and others.

And an unattractive industrial strength mopping up and squeezing every last drop of forced compliments, to inflate a shrunken ego, that's dry as a prune.

Enjoy the sweetness that others wish for you. Feedback needn't distort your perception into something far from reality. Let others take their view of you and make their own impressions.

As long as you stay grounded, it's all fine."
sophie, thats almost poetic. Beautifully put!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't put myself down about physical things, happy with how I look and can take a compliment easily. It's my personality and issues that piss me off about myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have, I do and I will do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I prefer to be honest on here especially as some women are seen as thinking they are better than they really are (not my words) so I tend to put myself down when I'm told how sexy/gorgeous etc I am.

If I'm told I have a nice curvy figure, I tell them, it's not curvy, it's fat.

But I've been told now that I should accept compliments & that it's off putting if I keep putting myself down after a man has said he finds me attractive.

Does anyone else put themselves down too? Can't fault you tbh well just the Norwich City top maybe x

Haha!! See, I know how my arm is holding in my stomach in some pics on here so you can't see how flabby I really am!! I'd hate someone turn up to meet me & be pissed off because I was fatter than they expected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's very common in my experience both in the scene and life in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes i put my self down all the time not usually by choice just in genral agreement to the things i have been called and told over the last few years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to but not anymore. Confidence is more attractive to a man than negativity. I know it's hard, sometimes you don't know how to handle compliments but just learn to say thank you and maybe compliment back. Believe someone when they say they find your curves attractive

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes i put my self down all the time not usually by choice just in genral agreement to the things i have been called and told over the last few years"

That's not right. Nobody should put you down or make you feel bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't put myself down, but I do think it's just patter, say thanks and ignore it. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i put my self down all the time not usually by choice just in genral agreement to the things i have been called and told over the last few years

That's not right. Nobody should put you down or make you feel bad."

Well its what has been happening for the last 2 years since i became single i have had no luck since then just genrally a lot of abuse or called rude horrible things

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab."

Difficult one to answer as i have to sometimes wonder who my real friends actually are now days as it seems to have real genuine friends os a rare thing to come by now days

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By *overOral0Man
over a year ago

Nr Cheltenham

We are all fabulous people in our own unique ways!! Sure we all have insecurities about how we are perceived by others, but i believe the key is to believing in yourself. So long as you feel good and happy, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks.

That said...

I still cant heed my own advice and dont rate myself highly at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab."

It's real people messaging you, why be so cynical about someone saying you are stunning, they probably mean it! Men like women of all shapes and sizes. Some are only attracted to bigger women the same as some men are only attracted to slim women. Learn to accept you are an attractive lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab.

They see an image of me on Fab. That's not the real me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't put myself down. If a man says I'm stunning or I have a beautiful body I will say thank you. If he keeps on I tell him to stop overdoing it,I'm nothing special. I know by the way a man looks at my body if he genuinely finds it beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab.

They probably mean they want sex and think they have to compliment to get it more like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab.

They probably mean they want sex and think they have to compliment to get it more like

Well you have to give people a chance to get to know you. They've seen your picture, they think you are attractive. They like to compliment you. Stop the negativity! Some people are genuine on here, they don't just say things to get you into bed although this is the nature of the site so that's what's likely to happen once you've given someone a chance to get to know you. All I can suggest is try being more confident and less negative and suspicious.

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By *angerousEyesMan
over a year ago

weston

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab."
but this is not real life (this is where you are asking) and people are always going to tell you what you want to hear to get in you're knickers. Certain ways of putting yourself down can be a turn off but less so than someone who loves their self. I can take a compliment even if I don't always believe it. Everyone has something to offer even if thay cant see it themselves. Perfection in imperfection an all that.

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By *overOral0Man
over a year ago

Nr Cheltenham

I put myself down. Its a self confidence thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This isn't real life.

What do your real friends say about you?

I had a friend at work tell me not to put myself down today & because I know he's so genuine, it meant more than all the "oh you're so stunning" crap from Fab.

They see an image of me on Fab. That's not the real me."

So you have photos, are you not expecting any compliments or comments at all? If not, why display them? They are going to attract attention and compliments. Some compliments are nicer and worded more beautifully than others. They'll be the ones that should hopefully make you smile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't believe any complement from a person online until , you see them in person.

Trust me , Photoshop is a great invention.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't believe any complement from a person online until , you see them in person.

Trust me , Photoshop is a great invention."

Maybe but I don't use Photoshop!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont use photoshop either...dont need to..or know how to..lol xx

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By *emini1637Woman
over a year ago

Warwickshire

I am very conscious of the way I look and having grown up with years of teasing and torment from both male and female, I find I put myself down before others do! I accept the compliment but always tell them I have a couple of spare tyres, an ass the size of the moon and tree trunk legs! I get told off on here for putting myself down but I like to let them know what to expect. I'm getting better since being on here but do sometimes think it's said to get a result

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer to be honest on here especially as some women are seen as thinking they are better than they really are (not my words) so I tend to put myself down when I'm told how sexy/gorgeous etc I am.

If I'm told I have a nice curvy figure, I tell them, it's not curvy, it's fat.

But I've been told now that I should accept compliments & that it's off putting if I keep putting myself down after a man has said he finds me attractive.

Does anyone else put themselves down too?"

Yes. However, my self esteem has improved since I started trying to change that process. I'm still my own worst enemy, but it is changing my life little by little, and hopefully, someday I'll be where I want to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am very conscious of the way I look and having grown up with years of teasing and torment from both male and female, I find I put myself down before others do! I accept the compliment but always tell them I have a couple of spare tyres, an ass the size of the moon and tree trunk legs! I get told off on here for putting myself down but I like to let them know what to expect. I'm getting better since being on here but do sometimes think it's said to get a result

Yes, people may have the sticks and stones phrase, but words can seriously damage a persons self image, especially from a young age where we are most impressionable, but it is possible to change our interpretations of ourselves with time and patience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time, but it's not deliberately self depricating, just how I honestly see myself. I have a lack of self confidence and find it hard to accept compliments. "

Think about it for a minute. You are very confident about not rating yourself. Why not listen to others for a change? They could be right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i put my self down all the time not usually by choice just in genral agreement to the things i have been called and told over the last few years

That's not right. Nobody should put you down or make you feel bad."

So don't put yourself down...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here I do think compliments are thrown around for the reason of jumping into bed so I say thanks but never take them to heart.Now outside of Fab with others whom are not sat behind a keyboard yes I do take them.As they are face to face with me and know me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On here I do think compliments are thrown around for the reason of jumping into bed so I say thanks but never take them to heart.Now outside of Fab with others whom are not sat behind a keyboard yes I do take them.As they are face to face with me and know me.

Hence unless I really like someone's posts in the forum, I don't bandy compliments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know my limitations and place (low down) on the spectrum of attractiveness: tubby, plain, small cock etc. Compliments rarely come my way but when they do I treat them as intended - as charitable words from kind hearted people who are too nice and don't want to offend.

When I give compliments I try to give them genuinely - I think some people are 'wired' to accept compliments and thrive on them, others feel uncomfortable receiving them and I suppose it's all down to self confidence and self image.

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By *urvyemmaWoman
over a year ago

wigan/bolton

People putting themselves down and pointing out their flaws is such a turn OFF!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/15 14:15:29]

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I'm truthful

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

No I don't put myself down, I think it's unattractive, if I get a compliment on here I say thank you and take it with a pinch of salt depending what the compliment is.

In real life I lap it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a difference between putting yourself down to illicit praise, compliments and attention, and being a realist who is not afraid of the truth about themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer to be honest on here especially as some women are seen as thinking they are better than they really are (not my words) so I tend to put myself down when I'm told how sexy/gorgeous etc I am.

If I'm told I have a nice curvy figure, I tell them, it's not curvy, it's fat.

But I've been told now that I should accept compliments & that it's off putting if I keep putting myself down after a man has said he finds me attractive.

Does anyone else put themselves down too?"

Don't mean to be picky but on your profile you have picked curvy as your body size so if a guy tells you you have a nice curvy body why would you question that when curvy is the description you have chosen for yourself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take compliments with a thankyou.

Guys really hate it when they are giving a compliment and its thrown back in their face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't put myself down, if a guy tells me he find me attractive I don't say no I'm not

I'll say thanks but I don't take to much notice as I'm awear he probably mails 20 woman a day saying the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always putting myself down, but after being on here and meeting new "normal" people I have a little better opinion on myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't put myself down, if a guy tells me he find me attractive I don't say no I'm not

I'll say thanks but I don't take to much notice as I'm awear he probably mails 20 woman a day saying the same "

It's great to feel special isn't it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't put myself down, if a guy tells me he find me attractive I don't say no I'm not

I'll say thanks but I don't take to much notice as I'm awear he probably mails 20 woman a day saying the same "

Cant bloody win, grumble grumble.

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