FabSwingers.com forum: initiation

By *nFairness OP Man
over a year ago

The Four Corners

so, after an unvitiated piece of conversing yesterday, i realized that i had received a message initiated by a female. i was wondering how often do ladies feel they initiate conversation, and/or is it still an expectation that the guy messages first.

I personally haven't messaged anybody who hasn't messaged me first, that way i know some level of interest whether innocent or otherwise is present, and leaves me open to unobtrusive communication which is a really nice space to communicate from.

thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so, after an unvitiated piece of conversing yesterday, i realized that i had received a message initiated by a female. i was wondering how often do ladies feel they initiate conversation, and/or is it still an expectation that the guy messages first.

thoughts?

I'm not present

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Very rare for someone to contact me out of the blue ..and usually some sort of scam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't initiate, always wait. I think I should change tactics as I'm not chatting to people who float my boat.

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By *nFairness OP Man
over a year ago

The Four Corners

"I don't initiate, always wait. I think I should change tactics as I'm not chatting to people who float my boat. "

haha its interesting isn't it... expectations. Noone really knows where they stand.

Makes me wonder why people actually bother with expectations at all. do what feels good, rgardless of social conditioning

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I quite happily message first - have had some very successful meets from that approach. Why would I not initiate with people who I find attractive?

Have also had quite a few knock backs and deletes - so its not just single guys who struggle on here.

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By *nFairness OP Man
over a year ago

The Four Corners

"I quite happily message first - have had some very successful meets from that approach. Why would I not initiate with people who I find attractive?

Have also had quite a few knock backs and deletes - so its not just single guys who struggle on here."

Well seems social conditioning isn't what it once was.

:O i dont belive it!! were they visually impaired?

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite happily message first - have had some very successful meets from that approach. Why would I not initiate with people who I find attractive?

Have also had quite a few knock backs and deletes - so its not just single guys who struggle on here.

Well seems social conditioning isn't what it once was.

:O i dont belive it!! were they visually impaired?

haha"

psssst did you miss the lecture on social norms re making jokes about the less than fully able?

I only ask cos i didn't see you there.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I generally answer messages but rarely meet those who approach me. I like what I like and I only know what I like when I see it so I initiate contact with those who tickle my fancy.

If I come across a profile or a forum post that I like, particularly ones that make me smile, I feel the urge to send a message to say so.

I often do it in real life too. It's nice to be nice.

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I very rarely message someine first

If I do the guy has gone something different n intreguing about them...

then...

I blowing thunk arrrgggh did I just make a fool outta myself... am I his type... does he think who the hell is messaging me

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I'm happy to message guys I like the look of

Im not bothered about rejection and I would rather look for what I want that have an inbox full of messages from people I don't want

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How do you know it was a woman ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hardly ever messages guys first, they have to be really unique and appealling to me for me to want to.

Wouldn't worry abut sending messages yourself, worse that can happen is they get ignored or you get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I tried the initiating contact thing today and all messages were read and deleted lol now I know what it feels like to be one of the guys lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I tried the initiating contact thing today and all messages were read and deleted lol now I know what it feels like to be one of the guys lol "

I think they should force more women to do it. Empathy increased.

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