FabSwingers.com forum: Just kicked a dildo up my polly!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well as the title says..

Haven't used my vibrator for months, finally get it inside after a struggle (think my virginity is growing back) using my feet I try and spread my blanket over me more (you know like when you have your feet in the air and you're sort of kicking them to smooth and fan your blanket out) anyway the back of my heel slipped and fucking walloped the dildo inside me, think I've done myself a mischief like hurting internally, googles not throwing up many answers but bound to be someone on here who has hurt themselves down there before? This hurts more than when I banged my fanny on my bike when I was a kid

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By *avebi48Man
over a year ago

Lordswood

possibly bruised your cervix. ouch

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Well as the title says..

Take some anti-inflammatory like Ibuprufen to minimise the briusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you OK ....

for anal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It feels bad inside and where the bunny ears were it's hurt like the boney part as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It feels bad inside and where the bunny ears were it's hurt like the boney part as well! "

Ooo ouchy.

Get some anti inflams and like they said probs bruised your cervix!

I sympathise as had my cervix battered a bit by a big one before!!

If its not considerably better in a day or so get theself checked out xx

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By *avebi48Man
over a year ago

Lordswood

"It feels bad inside and where the bunny ears were it's hurt like the boney part as well! "

so long as no bleeding you should be ok in a few days

Could always head to the doc for a check, they'll have a giggle at your expense after hearing your explaination I bet

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By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

If you give birth to some duracells i will carry a torch for you.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I'll have a look at it for you OP

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"It feels bad inside and where the bunny ears were it's hurt like the boney part as well! "

Next time invite a man round instead.

Seriously though go get yourself checked out at the Doc's if you think you have done some damage.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Well as the title says..

Whacking knackers on the bar between legs while riding a bike as a kid one of the most painful experience's growing up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you give birth to some duracells i will carry a torch for you."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spread some peanut butter on it. Works wonders

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm going on holiday Friday as well, now I've got a broken fanny and 2 scrapes knees from coming off rollerblades yesterday!

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"I'm going on holiday Friday as well, now I've got a broken fanny and 2 scrapes knees from coming off rollerblades yesterday!"

Hmmmm, sounds suspiciously like you had a good seeing to in doggy style with those injuries

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm going on holiday Friday as well, now I've got a broken fanny and 2 scrapes knees from coming off rollerblades yesterday!

Hmmmm, sounds suspiciously like you had a good seeing to in doggy style with those injuries

Haha nope, didn't even do any rollerblading just put them on to show my daughter (were monster high kids ones) they didn't fit me properly so was sort of tippy toed in them and just fell forward!

Think my down there is ok now, been laying on my sofa for the last 20 mins, had some galaxy and I'm taking arnica from yesterday so that should bring any bruises out from my knees and fanny bone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've lost my Thermos flask if anyone sees it.....

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"I'm going on holiday Friday as well, now I've got a broken fanny and 2 scrapes knees from coming off rollerblades yesterday!

Hmmmm, sounds suspiciously like you had a good seeing to in doggy style with those injuries

Haha nope, didn't even do any rollerblading just put them on to show my daughter (were monster high kids ones) they didn't fit me properly so was sort of tippy toed in them and just fell forward!

Think my down there is ok now, been laying on my sofa for the last 20 mins, had some galaxy and I'm taking arnica from yesterday so that should bring any bruises out from my knees and fanny bone!"

Put some ice on it, no ice then try a pack of frozen peas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's women for you, always fannying about!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If any blood go to A + E, otherwise NSAIDs like Ibuprofen assuming you're otherwise well (no asthma, kidney probe etc).

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's women for you, always fannying about! "

Fucking 'ell of a pair of thighs on you. Lovely mun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If any blood go to A + E, otherwise NSAIDs like Ibuprofen assuming you're otherwise well (no asthma, kidney probe etc). "

No blood, tried frozen peas in a tea towel but was too cold! It's a bit better now though, thanks all for tips and sympathy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no prob, occasionally medical knowledge comes in handy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one's offered to kiss you better? Shocking. Are there no gentlemen left........

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By * D 777Man
over a year ago

bathgate

Pain killers ,ice cubes rub it gently on the outside or bag off ice,feet up an rest ,good luck hope Alls better asap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha, classic. That is a golden you've been framed moment! Not the result you were looking for I bet?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always let me kiss it better x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I hope you're feeling better .. I'd kiss it better too ... Ladies and their sex toys eh ... The lost butt plug incident comes to mind xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how's the rabbit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't one of those "doing the housework naked and I tripped into the vacuum cleaner" stories is it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hahaha, classic. That is a golden you've been framed moment! Not the result you were looking for I bet?!"

Wish I'd filmed it now to get the 250 quid! Wonder how Harry Hill would introduce the clip!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well i'm not a gynecologist but i'll have a bloody good look for you if needed

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

how's the rabbit?

He's up to his ears in it...

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Enjoyed this thread it made me laugh good to see so many sympathetic swingers like the one asking how the rabbit is brill . Oh by the way are you op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how's the rabbit?

He's up to his ears in it...

Mr ddc"

When I was a kid my dad used to sing a song called run rabbit run. Something about a farmer and his gun.

Ahead of his time my pop was....

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

how's the rabbit?

He's up to his ears in it...

Mr ddc

When I was a kid my dad used to sing a song called run rabbit run. Something about a farmer and his gun.

Ahead of his time my pop was...."

I've already been on the Dragon's Den website and registered "talking sex toys". A perfect instance of a need for a rabbit that says "What's up doc?" as the A&E surgeon finally manages to grab it by the ears...

Sorry OP, I wouldn't joke about it if you hadn't already said you were fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how's the rabbit?

He's up to his ears in it...

Mr ddc

When I was a kid my dad used to sing a song called run rabbit run. Something about a farmer and his gun.

Ahead of his time my pop was....

Sorry OP, I wouldn't joke about it if you hadn't already said you were fine."

Careful with that, no one wants a sex toy that says "get off, you're rubbish" or "is it in yet".

I may have inadvertently given away too much information there.......

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

"..

Careful with that, no one wants a sex toy that says "get off, you're rubbish" or "is it in yet".

But we'd be okay with "I tort I taw her puddy, I DID, I DID! I did see it!" wouldn't we?

Obviously, the final battery charge would always say "That's all folks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah OP you never fail to make me smile ( in a good way)

I hope your fanny makes a full recovery, gotta watch out for those bunny ears, hard little fookers!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well as the title says..

This really made be laugh sorry. The vision of you heeling it in. Let me know if you need some to massage it for you. Hope you feel better x.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I was just about to phone the rspcb as I thought polly was a pet parrot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"..

Careful with that, no one wants a sex toy that says "get off, you're rubbish" or "is it in yet".

But we'd be okay with "I tort I taw her puddy, I DID, I DID! I did see it!" wouldn't we?

Obviously, the final battery charge would always say "That's all folks"

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Norwegian black and blue .. Lovely plumage

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