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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " It's par for the course - they lie 'just in case' it might lessen their chances. I don't agree with it but it seems everyone does it and expects it. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " Don't have friends and you can't get let down | |||
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"It's a sex site. Why are you asking what they are doing at the weekend?" Not just me then. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you." I just wanted other people's takes on it... Think I may adopt the stance of others, we're not friends until we've met | |||
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"It's a sex site. Why are you asking what they are doing at the weekend? Not just me then. " Some guys I talk to are up front and tell me which clubs they're going to, shame I'm not closer or Id go too | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you. I just wanted other people's takes on it... Think I may adopt the stance of others, we're not friends until we've met" I think that's wise. For me people are acquaintances until I know them quite well. Friendship implies trust to me and that can't be established easily. | |||
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"I just wanted other people's takes on it... Think I may adopt the stance of others, we're not friends until we've met" That soon? Even after you'd met I would still be cautious due to the nature of the site. | |||
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"For me people are acquaintances until I know them quite well. Friendship implies trust to me and that can't be established easily." | |||
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"I just wanted other people's takes on it... Think I may adopt the stance of others, we're not friends until we've met That soon? Even after you'd met I would still be cautious due to the nature of the site." | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now " It baffles me too. People have many different agendas. | |||
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"Some people find it easier to lie than to tell the truth....those people can jog the fuck on. " I'm so glad I'm not on my own. We all know thata lot of men are just dogs and can't help themselves. It must be their only form of social life | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through." Thank you, well at least now I won't be meeting them as looking at the photos of said meets, there's not an awful lots of safe sex going on. To me it shows a total lack of respect..... Bye boys!......or should I say woof woof | |||
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"Some people find it easier to lie than to tell the truth....those people can jog the fuck on. I'm so glad I'm not on my own. We all know thata lot of men are just dogs and can't help themselves. It must be their only form of social life " Trust me women can be way worse than men in the lying streak...don't get bitter though as they are free agents but better to tell the truth but some can't | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. " Until they pop up on your updates with a big selection of photos and they're still saying they were out getting hammered with mates. | |||
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"It's a sex site. Why are you asking what they are doing at the weekend?" Oh I'm doing it so wrong I haven't had sex in months | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. Until they pop up on your updates with a big selection of photos and they're still saying they were out getting hammered with mates." In that case then they are lying obviously. | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. Until they pop up on your updates with a big selection of photos and they're still saying they were out getting hammered with mates. In that case then they are lying obviously. " With not a lot between their ears, must all be between their legs | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through." I agree I have no idea why people lie but the fact is they do. Advising the op that they do lie and its best to operate under that understanding is sensible and preferable surely to telling her that it isnt so. We all need to interact in the world as it is not as we would like it to be. | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. " Apparently I'm painfully honest so I have a poor habit of expecting the same from everyone I encounter. If someone has meet with someone else then that's great. That's generally the idea. There's no need to lie. This is a swinging site and I came here with my eyes open. I value discretion so I wouldn't need/want details. However, to blatantly lie in case it jeopardises their chances of meeting me is dishonest and a bit lame. | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. Thank you, well at least now I won't be meeting them as looking at the photos of said meets, there's not an awful lots of safe sex going on. To me it shows a total lack of respect..... Bye boys!......or should I say woof woof " I just find it funny that it is the couples (even though they are replying on their single profiles) disagree with you or I as we only have ourselves to rely on for our own safety and lying is a big thing for us! As what the hell else are they lying about? | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. Apparently I'm painfully honest so I have a poor habit of expecting the same from everyone I encounter. If someone has meet with someone else then that's great. That's generally the idea. There's no need to lie. This is a swinging site and I came here with my eyes open. I value discretion so I wouldn't need/want details. However, to blatantly lie in case it jeopardises their chances of meeting me is dishonest and a bit lame. " People do though like you say some for their own gain which is what people do. I just think let them get on with it but do it with someone else because I don't need the shit | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. Apparently I'm painfully honest so I have a poor habit of expecting the same from everyone I encounter. If someone has meet with someone else then that's great. That's generally the idea. There's no need to lie. This is a swinging site and I came here with my eyes open. I value discretion so I wouldn't need/want details. However, to blatantly lie in case it jeopardises their chances of meeting me is dishonest and a bit lame. People do though like you say some for their own gain which is what people do. I just think let them get on with it but do it with someone else because I don't need the shit " Exactly! I think my bullshitometer is pretty good though. | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. Thank you, well at least now I won't be meeting them as looking at the photos of said meets, there's not an awful lots of safe sex going on. To me it shows a total lack of respect..... Bye boys!......or should I say woof woof I just find it funny that it is the couples (even though they are replying on their single profiles) disagree with you or I as we only have ourselves to rely on for our own safety and lying is a big thing for us! As what the hell else are they lying about? " Who? | |||
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"I don't see it as lying. They just don't want other people knowing their business. Apparently I'm painfully honest so I have a poor habit of expecting the same from everyone I encounter. If someone has meet with someone else then that's great. That's generally the idea. There's no need to lie. This is a swinging site and I came here with my eyes open. I value discretion so I wouldn't need/want details. However, to blatantly lie in case it jeopardises their chances of meeting me is dishonest and a bit lame. People do though like you say some for their own gain which is what people do. I just think let them get on with it but do it with someone else because I don't need the shit Exactly! I think my bullshitometer is pretty good though. " Recently mine has been a bit shit I think I was blind sighted but I'm back on track | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. Thank you, well at least now I won't be meeting them as looking at the photos of said meets, there's not an awful lots of safe sex going on. To me it shows a total lack of respect..... Bye boys!......or should I say woof woof I just find it funny that it is the couples (even though they are replying on their single profiles) disagree with you or I as we only have ourselves to rely on for our own safety and lying is a big thing for us! As what the hell else are they lying about? " I'm part of a couple, replying from a couples profile and the gist of my response is don't trust men you meet on the net.....basic safeguarding that any woman should follow. I agree that lying is bad but in this pastime you need to assume that nobody can be taken at face value. Not sure why you feel I'm not being helpful | |||
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"If you assume that everyone on here is truthful you will be sorely disappointed. If you assume that people on your friends list are real friends you will be sorely disappointed. This is a swinging site on the world wide web, best to operate with your eyes wide open." | |||
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"If you assume that everyone on here is truthful you will be sorely disappointed. If you assume that people on your friends list are real friends you will be sorely disappointed. This is a swinging site on the world wide web, best to operate with your eyes wide open." Sssh,I've almost got a few people from this thread to invest in my pyramid scheme. | |||
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"If you assume that everyone on here is truthful you will be sorely disappointed. If you assume that people on your friends list are real friends you will be sorely disappointed. This is a swinging site on the world wide web, best to operate with your eyes wide open. Sssh,I've almost got a few people from this thread to invest in my pyramid scheme." Well obviously everything you say is the shiny, bright truth | |||
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"If you assume that everyone on here is truthful you will be sorely disappointed. If you assume that people on your friends list are real friends you will be sorely disappointed. This is a swinging site on the world wide web, best to operate with your eyes wide open. Sssh,I've almost got a few people from this thread to invest in my pyramid scheme. Well obviously everything you say is the shiny, bright truth " I'll have four dozen boxes of washing powder please. | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. I agree I have no idea why people lie but the fact is they do. Advising the op that they do lie and its best to operate under that understanding is sensible and preferable surely to telling her that it isnt so. We all need to interact in the world as it is not as we would like it to be." I think my irk was more along the lines of certain couples posting as singles basically saying 'suck it up' it's all well and good saying suck it up when you have a partner to rely on! You try and being a single female and trying to decipher who to trust or not or should we just lump all in one basket and just not trust anyone? or just suck it up, buttercup? | |||
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"I just think unless you're actually meeting someone regular and know them fairly well you aren't friends, in a true sense of the word. " This | |||
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"I just wanted other people's takes on it... Think I may adopt the stance of others, we're not friends until we've met That soon? Even after you'd met I would still be cautious due to the nature of the site." Absolutely, this is not reality, it is very ephemeral. | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now " I don't think that rethinking your methods is the solution as it will not solve the problem of people being dishonest/whatever with you, only add to the problems it causes in case you are sketchy with a potential meet which results in them thinking you are dishonest. The only decision to be made is whether you want to continue talks with people you feel are untruthful towards you | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not?" That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. I agree I have no idea why people lie but the fact is they do. Advising the op that they do lie and its best to operate under that understanding is sensible and preferable surely to telling her that it isnt so. We all need to interact in the world as it is not as we would like it to be. I think my irk was more along the lines of certain couples posting as singles basically saying 'suck it up' it's all well and good saying suck it up when you have a partner to rely on! You try and being a single female and trying to decipher who to trust or not or should we just lump all in one basket and just not trust anyone? or just suck it up, buttercup? " I think you do well to trust no one as a default position if you're a single woman. I sympathise as I wouldn't have the courage to be on here as a single but neither do I have the answer to your problem. | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now I don't think that rethinking your methods is the solution as it will not solve the problem of people being dishonest/whatever with you, only add to the problems it causes in case you are sketchy with a potential meet which results in them thinking you are dishonest. The only decision to be made is whether you want to continue talks with people you feel are untruthful towards you" Ever heard of Bin 13, well that's where they are..lol.... Gone! | |||
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"I just think unless you're actually meeting someone regular and know them fairly well you aren't friends, in a true sense of the word. " I don't think friendship is as tangible as that. It's more about the connection. Conversely, it doesn't hurt to be skeptical of relations with people no matter how well you think you know them. | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now I don't think that rethinking your methods is the solution as it will not solve the problem of people being dishonest/whatever with you, only add to the problems it causes in case you are sketchy with a potential meet which results in them thinking you are dishonest. The only decision to be made is whether you want to continue talks with people you feel are untruthful towards you Ever heard of Bin 13, well that's where they are..lol.... Gone! " Lol | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. Thank you, well at least now I won't be meeting them as looking at the photos of said meets, there's not an awful lots of safe sex going on. To me it shows a total lack of respect..... Bye boys!......or should I say woof woof I just find it funny that it is the couples (even though they are replying on their single profiles) disagree with you or I as we only have ourselves to rely on for our own safety and lying is a big thing for us! As what the hell else are they lying about? I'm part of a couple, replying from a couples profile and the gist of my response is don't trust men you meet on the net.....basic safeguarding that any woman should follow. I agree that lying is bad but in this pastime you need to assume that nobody can be taken at face value. Not sure why you feel I'm not being helpful " I've not said that at all, or should I say meant that, I just think some couples think they have a higher position and belittle singles because they don't have others to bounce things off! Whilst they have their partner to rely on, that is all I am saying. I have my safety parameters I would never deter from | |||
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"What gets me is the guys and girls that keep you hanging on give you a lame excuse why they cant meet and wait till something better that comes along and then post the verifications lol x" Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy....... You hit the nail on head | |||
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"What gets me is the guys and girls that keep you hanging on give you a lame excuse why they cant meet and wait till something better that comes along and then post the verifications lol x Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy....... You hit the nail on head " They do that to couples too. | |||
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"I'm not sure you can ever trust fully anyone you meet from here. Maybe if you meet up on a regular basis over a long period of time that's different. I've been left completely baffled by one persons actions which has made me cautious about others & what they say. As I've said many a time ~ what people say on here and what they do can be poles apart." My shell has suddenly become very hard, my way or the highway now springs to mind | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you." | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now " Don't let other people's mistrust and manipulations make you change. I'm like you, I'm honest with the people I talk with online as I see no point in lying. I consider them friends as I do share openly with them. If you're not going to be open and honest theres no point | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. " Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. | |||
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"Sometimes people I've never met but chatted to ask me what I'm doing. If I want to be polite I'll give them a generic answer like the guys have given you but it in no way accounts for my full weekend activities. Sometimes I have no wish to answer or be polite and delete the message. In my less polite moments of someone oversteps the mark I reply 'what the fucks it got to do with you'. Sets a clear boundary that one Seriously hun you've never met them, it's nothing to do with you how they spend their weekend. Ask out of politeness if you want but don't expect them to account for their movements, they're just being polite. They may have have gone to the pub AND had meets so they're not lying! If you're not happy with a polite generic answer that doesn't and cannot account for 48 hours worth of activity then don't ask! " I clearly see your point, and thanks to everyone for their remarks | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? " Good point I have a lot of friends | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? " As always - succinctly put! | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " # I have had men in the past, say to me they cant meet me on a certain day, then they have posted up a meet request for the same day and/or displayed a veri for the day I asked if they were free. Thats a bit more hurtful, well it was as it was early days on here for me, would have been better if they were honest and said I wasnt their type, rather than lying | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? " This is also true but I don't feel the need to share my sex life with everyone. When you're talking to people on a swinging site I would assume (rightly or wrongly) that the people I'm chatting to are also chatting to others. It's not like it's all exclusive. I just appreciate honesty and I'm not sure there's a lot wrong with that. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you." Spot on | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? This is also true but I don't feel the need to share my sex life with everyone. When you're talking to people on a swinging site I would assume (rightly or wrongly) that the people I'm chatting to are also chatting to others. It's not like it's all exclusive. I just appreciate honesty and I'm not sure there's a lot wrong with that." There's nothing wrong with appreciating honesty it makes life so much easier. I don't think anyone's implying that it's a bad thing. | |||
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"All men say what you want to hear even the ones that have posted above lol" Yep! But sometimes they mean it too | |||
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" What's the issue, how's they lying by saying they're going to the pub with mates? I often go to the pub with mates, a packet of three, i'm not greedy. Sadly, i always come home with a packet of three. " I thought they came in 10's or 20's, prefer rollies myself though x | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? " I tell them I'm going to the club... I don't tell them which club, nor what goes on there, that's not economical with the truth, just with the specifics. Being a single guy of low self esteem, I don't really do well at getting meets | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " Having read the replies, just put being friends on here as meaning nothing apart from being able to see private pics x | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you." Have you read the falling for a friend thread today ? | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? I think the word friend has a different definition on the internet. I don't think you can apply the same rules nor should you have the same expectations of people you have spoken to in cyberspace who after all, can be anybody they choose for the brief time they interact with you. Have you read the falling for a friend thread today ? " No I haven't....... I'll have a look. | |||
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"Why don't they just say they're meeting ......I'm baffled, they all know I don't want any drama , but rightly or wrongly I tell the truth Rethinking that right now Don't let other people's mistrust and manipulations make you change. I'm like you, I'm honest with the people I talk with online as I see no point in lying. I consider them friends as I do share openly with them. If you're not going to be open and honest theres no point" Yup I feel the same, I really don't think being on a swingers site or meeting for nsa should mean I lose my manners or my honesty! 'Got much planned for the weekend?' Is common polite small talk, and I can give as much or as little information as I choose without ever having to resort to lying. I sometimes worry that people I have yet to meet might be put off by something but see no point securing a meet with dishonesty, it could totally ruin the chances of someone becoming a trusted fb or fwb which is what I hope for here. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " Maybe they see meeting a woman off here for a drink as going to the pub with mates I have to be honest though I never see the reason or need to lie about things that really do not need to be lied about Maybe they are just liars in general I don't know *shrugs shoulders* | |||
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"What gets me is the guys and girls that keep you hanging on give you a lame excuse why they cant meet and wait till something better that comes along and then post the verifications lol x" I've been accused of this, but the very simple reason is that I have made arrangements with others that I don't wish to discuss with the person pressing me for a meet when they want to meet. Saying I'm busy and not saying WHAT I'm busy doing should be sufficient - it's none of their business - but for some they get annoyed that I have been to a club or seen someone else. As to the friends point, I only add those who I have met and know I will meet again. I may tell those people more than the ones I have yet to meet. | |||
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"I do think people think differently whether they are couples or singles on here! And I know you know I am right! A polite conversation in the getting know each other on here should be truthful and 'couples' don't really give a shit as they have each other and the single is maybe just a plaything, but for singles especially women (my opinion of course) If I am considering meeting someone new, I like to think I can trust them, so I know exactly where the OP is coming from, why lie? It is not an attractive trait at all! Especially when they are not clever enough to either back up there claims or intelligent enough to carry the lie through. I agree I have no idea why people lie but the fact is they do. Advising the op that they do lie and its best to operate under that understanding is sensible and preferable surely to telling her that it isnt so. We all need to interact in the world as it is not as we would like it to be. I think my irk was more along the lines of certain couples posting as singles basically saying 'suck it up' it's all well and good saying suck it up when you have a partner to rely on! You try and being a single female and trying to decipher who to trust or not or should we just lump all in one basket and just not trust anyone? or just suck it up, buttercup? " What couples posting as singles?? | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not? That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to" "Knowing what they get up to"?! It all becomes clear... | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? " Tell them straight. If they are actually a friend they will take it on board. And have an open discussion. If not move on xx | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not? That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to "Knowing what they get up to"?! It all becomes clear..." One would think that the veri's she's complaining of would actually be very helpful and enlightening in this respect. | |||
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"Just want to ask around to see if it's me just being 'normal' After talking to three guys on here over the months and getting on really well, but living miles away, I wonder why when it's a sex site they're never honest or up front about what they do. I have a great social life outside Fab and when ive asked what they have planned for the weekend, they've said ,going to the pub with mates. Why don't they just say they're meeting or going to Swingers Clubs, rather than me seeing on the following days that they've had actually had meets . It's not the meets that get me , it's the fact that they lie and are dim enough to post verifications and then deny meeting anyone. What's fabsters options ? Maybe they see meeting a woman off here for a drink as going to the pub with mates I have to be honest though I never see the reason or need to lie about things that really do not need to be lied about Maybe they are just liars in general I don't know *shrugs shoulders*" I agree, it shows them in their true light | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not? That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to "Knowing what they get up to"?! It all becomes clear... One would think that the veri's she's complaining of would actually be very helpful and enlightening in this respect. " They have been very enlightening and probably saved me risking my health on more than one occasion | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not? That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to "Knowing what they get up to"?! It all becomes clear... One would think that the veri's she's complaining of would actually be very helpful and enlightening in this respect. They have been very enlightening and probably saved me risking my health on more than one occasion" What do you mean? | |||
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"Guys will say anything to get a meet and do anything to get a meet. Men just don't think! " Pfffft. | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. " I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context! | |||
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"I wouldn't lie. If I didn't want you to know I'd either say none of your business or simply I don't know yet. Saying that if I'd asked you first I'd then not be too surprised if you asked back and would then probably tell you I was off to a club." What are you doing this weekend? Tell me NOW!!! | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context!" There's a world outside Fab. If they don't post a veri from a bareback gangbang... you know they don't do them? | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context! There's a world outside Fab. If they don't post a veri from a bareback gangbang... you know they don't do them? " I wasn't checking upon them, when people are on your friends list, it automatically tells you if they have posted verifications recently, so it can't be avoided | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context! There's a world outside Fab. If they don't post a veri from a bareback gangbang... you know they don't do them? " Or just have a quick one behind the pub , ultimately they could be into anything outside fab . Which is more likely to be far more risky ! You alone are responsible for your sexual health and relying on veris , previous meets etc ..... Is , I'm afraid , no indicator at all . | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. " What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. " If you change your intention and go out and then the person who you'd told you were staying in, says 'oh, I saw you out yesterday go any where nice? ' Would you still respond with what you had originally told them, that you stayed in, or confirm that they had indeed seem you out? Because that fits more about what the op has stated. | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. " Haha... agree with all of that. The rest of my posts were after a quarter of the way down. Plans can of course change and that's maybe what happened, the three sided story only shows one side in this thread though so that was the point of _iew I answered. I can't be arsed with clingy shit either but I'd rather have a little honesty from prospective meets. I don't need/want details but nor do I expect lies from any of my mates regardless of which area they appear. I assume on a swinging site that everyone is shagging everyone else. | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. If you change your intention and go out and then the person who you'd told you were staying in, says 'oh, I saw you out yesterday go any where nice? ' Would you still respond with what you had originally told them, that you stayed in, or confirm that they had indeed seem you out? Because that fits more about what the op has stated. " | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. If you change your intention and go out and then the person who you'd told you were staying in, says 'oh, I saw you out yesterday go any where nice? ' Would you still respond with what you had originally told them, that you stayed in, or confirm that they had indeed seem you out? Because that fits more about what the op has stated. " Nope. I've read the O.P's O.P. and that is not what the O.P. stated. Enough said about it now in my case. | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. Nope. I've read the O.P's O.P. and that is not what the O.P. stated. Enough said about it now in my case. " Fair enough, had you read more of the thread though you may have had a different response because more context was given. You also might not have. | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. " I totally agree with this | |||
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"I've read about a quarter of the way down. The title of this thread suggests that you feel somehow injured that they didn't tell you what they were doing..... isn't that just the teeniest big juvenile? You've not even met them. They are NOT your friends. To be honest I don't think even a friend has to tell you what they are up to if it doesn't concern you. My immediate thought is that as decent swingers they are exercising discretion. Surely you can exercise discretion without telling lies though? And really, there's not a whole lot of discretion going on when you post a verification the next day showing you weren't where you said you were gonna be. What lies were told ? I think only the O.P. assumes lies. If I told you now that I was staying in all day and then later I went out. Isn't that just a change of intention? If I omit to tell you that i'm shagging the bloke next door - isn't that just cos it's no one elses business ? If I say I'm just nipping down to the shops but go into the bank and withdraw a huge dollop of dosh for my hols - is that a lie or just safeguarding my own interests ? Sometimes I get itchy with the clinginess and demands by people who think a bloke 20 miles away you've never met and who has joined a swinging site to meet people who want sex is your friend and needs to confide all in you. " | |||
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"I find it incredulous too that people use verifications and profiles to make decisions over sexual health. Just because people state safe sex on their profiles, does not actually mean they always do this. Just because you can't see a gangbang bareback meet on the veris, does not mean he's never played bareback. If people spend more time than New Scotland Yard in investigating whose played with whom by trawling through countless profiles, then don't swing. The only thing you can trust is the man rolling a condom on in front of you. " Apart from the last sentence... You can trust what he's doing, but not the person. | |||
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"I have friends off the site....vanilla friends, ladies I sometimes "see".... ( or "meet" in fab speak). But they do know what I get up to in my "spare" time... And why not? That's what I'm saying, I know it's a sex/meet site, I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone off here or anywhere else, come to think of it... so it's not a question of drama, but it would help me decide if I wanted to meet them, knowing what they do get up to" so what would put you off meeting them? Them having meets of a weekend? For us, we don't ask questions and if someone asked us we wouldn't tell. What we do when we are not meeting with that person is nothing to do with anyone else...however, we wouldn't lie, we would just ignore the question or say we are busy. Having said that, this is the net, we don't trust anyone on it so I am surprised anyone does as you don't actually know the person totally even if you have met them. | |||
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"I wonder, is anyone ever 'economic with the truth' with friends and family about where their going and what they are doing, when they are off on a meet? " We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either. | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context! There's a world outside Fab. If they don't post a veri from a bareback gangbang... you know they don't do them? " You don't, obviously, but I use all the information that *IS* available to me on here and will turn people down if I have concerns. I'm my opinion it is foolish to rely solely on a condom to keep you safe. | |||
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"We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either.." We wouldn't feel the need to justify our private lives with strangers on the net either. Anyway OP, thank you for giving me a wry smile when, having spent far too long reading about your problems with other people's dishonesty, I discovered that you lie about your age on your profile. Mr ddc | |||
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"I can't understand why you're bothered about it OP. Who and when other people meet is nothing to do with you. These guys have the right to discretion just as you do. They obviously don't want to share with you their swinging exploits and I agree with them. Clearly you are marking territory with them as you wouldn't be searching for the verifications to find out what they've been doing. Just stop checking up on them and chat as normal on here when they message. I disagree, there is plenty of activity on fabs that affects sexual health risk and I would like to know what kind of risk that is before making my decision whether to meet or not. If someone who asks to meet me likes to go to bareback gangbangs for instance I feel that IS my business in that context! There's a world outside Fab. If they don't post a veri from a bareback gangbang... you know they don't do them? You don't, obviously, but I use all the information that *IS* available to me on here and will turn people down if I have concerns. I'm my opinion it is foolish to rely solely on a condom to keep you safe. " And furthermore obvious lying is a big turn off to me too, if someone is obviously lying to me about something inconsequential I would not trust them not to lie about important things like their taste for bareback gangbangs. | |||
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"We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either.. We wouldn't feel the need to justify our private lives with strangers on the net either. Anyway OP, thank you for giving me a wry smile when, having spent far too long reading about your problems with other people's dishonesty, I discovered that you lie about your age on your profile. Mr ddc" | |||
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"We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either.. We wouldn't feel the need to justify our private lives with strangers on the net either. Anyway OP, thank you for giving me a wry smile when, having spent far too long reading about your problems with other people's dishonesty, I discovered that you lie about your age on your profile. Mr ddc" uh oh.... | |||
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"We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either.. We wouldn't feel the need to justify our private lives with strangers on the net either. Anyway OP, thank you for giving me a wry smile when, having spent far too long reading about your problems with other people's dishonesty, I discovered that you lie about your age on your profile. Mr ddc" like I said on the net you can be anyone you want to be. Priceless! | |||
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"some guys will say anything to keep future meets...even if its a lie that doesnt exactly bother you..." spot on Paddy | |||
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"We don't discuss our sex life with family so we wouldn't discuss any swinging either.. We wouldn't feel the need to justify our private lives with strangers on the net either. Anyway OP, thank you for giving me a wry smile when, having spent far too long reading about your problems with other people's dishonesty, I discovered that you lie about your age on your profile. Mr ddc like I said on the net you can be anyone you want to be. Priceless!" Tonight Matthew I am going to be .......... ten years younger | |||
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