FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How young is too young?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

At what age is it OK to take a child to the funeral of a loved one?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Gosh, whenever you think they are able to deal/ understand it I guess.

My son was about 15 but no one close had died before that, I've also seen young children at them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on who died, under what circumstances & the child as an individual.

My daughter was 8 years old at her grandmas funeral & desperately wanted to come ~ not something her older sibling would have done tho at that age.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

My eldest was 8 when he came to my grandad's funeral but the youngest didn't go. He did go to my gran's though when he was 6.

The main reason for letting him go is that I didn't want his 1st funeral to be his grandparents in say another 10 years when he's 19.

He was brilliant, he asked to kiss the coffin & said his goodbye. He did nearly fall into the grave throwing a yellow rose in though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know my parents still reget not letting me go to the funeral of my best friend's nan. I was probably closer to her than my own grandparents and I would have liked to say goodbye. That waa some 35 years ago. I'm not sure there's alright answer though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any age you want to take them. Death is a real thing and a part of life.

They'll probably ask a lot of questions, and the younger they are the more bored they'll be i guess.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or just take them to the wake after if you think they won't be able to handle the funeral itself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took my 2 year old and 7 year old to their auntie's funeral. It's part of life. No point hiding them from it.....depends on the child though I guess and how they deal with things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sister took her two boys along to my Grandads funeral and they were 8 and 6. It really kind of lightened the whole mood and the children weren't fazed by it in the slightest. I would definitely do the same thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter went to her dads funeral when she was 9 but did not want to go to the grave she sat with one of the undertakers in the car but after we moved away she went over with one of her cousins and sat there for 20 mins

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

dont hide them from it..its more answering their questions at a level they can grasp and show interest..

if old enough 7/8 usually ask them if they want to go...

more really, can the person taking them, handle the questions at maybe an emotional time, in my view.

never held back tears or hurt from my children.. they now know its ok to be not ok sometimes x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any age is fine as long as the parent is willing to take them outside if they get bored or misbehave.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think it entirely depends on the child. Our two reacted very differently at their grandfather's funeral and in hindsight we wouldnt have taken our son, then 10.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took my daughter, then 6 to her grandfathers funeral. The worst thing I did. Although she was very bright and advanced for her years she really didn't understand. The bit that got me the most, and still gets to me right now is that when the car arrived she asked where grandad was, she couldn't see him!!!!

If your going to take youngsters explain to them what to expect and what is going to happen. My greatest regret and it's made me cry thinking about it, 10 years on.

She refused to go to the funeral of my great niece as she was still born and I definitely would not have taken my youngest.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thankyou all for your replies. It's my nan that passed away, their grandma, my eldest is 8 and has asked to go. I think he'll be ok so long as he knows what to expect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your nan JJ. Hope you're all doing okay x

In our families we've always taken the kids to funerals. No matter how young. I've gone to funerals since I can remember to be honest. It's always been something that i've wanted to be a part of.

(Oh, and welcome back)

@}--

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I wish I didn't have to go to a funeral this week!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry to hear about your nan JJ. Hope you're all doing okay x

In our families we've always taken the kids to funerals. No matter how young. I've gone to funerals since I can remember to be honest. It's always been something that i've wanted to be a part of.

(Oh, and welcome back)

@}--"

Thanks Pops x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As popeye80 post and if they've asked to go then definitely.

Sorry for your loss x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure you will do what is right. You know your child.

I often wonder why we have become so detached from death. It is afterall a part of life. Children need to be able to say their goodbyes and grieve with a level of understanding.

I don't believe children should be shielded, at one time it was custom to lay out coffins at home while life carried on around them.

I was 9 when I went to my grandads. My Dad allowed me to decide for myself and despite the criticism I was glad of being given that chance.

My son was 20 when he went to his grandads funeral. I was immensely proud of him as they were close. Grumps died in a nursing home surrounded by family and afterwards my son helped wash and lay the body out. He said it was an honour to do that one last thing for his beloved grumps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sons dad passed when he was 8 he's now 16 n doing grate, all I say is honesty best policy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top