FabSwingers.com forum: first impressions

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...do they last?

I have a date this week with a guy I know through others; the first time we met was at a wedding and my first impression was that he was a total knob-end...he's done little since to make me think otherwise...though an extremely close friend of mine (mutual friend) assures me that I am wrong and has challenged me to go out on this date so he can prove it.

have you been proved wrong on your first impression of someone? what did they do to change it...or would you always trust your first instinct?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a reason why people say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

Go with your instinct.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not yet but am thinking about trying some young 20ish yr old lad just to prove i really dont like it and that it really is disgusting, just trying to pluck up the courage is such hard work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"There's a reason why people say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

Go with your instinct."
go with your 1st impression

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes, I have been proven wrong in the past both good to bad and bad to good.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No not yet but am thinking about trying some young 20ish yr old lad just to prove i really dont like it and that it really is disgusting, just trying to pluck up the courage is such hard work

...it's a sacrifice, I can assure you.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always trust your insincts xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

its called a gut reaction for a reason....

I wouldn't but if you do go for it and you need an "emergency" call to get out of it... give me a shout!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am going on the date...there's no reason not to. I've been very clear with the ground rules so I have nothing to lose...other than a few hours of my time...if it lasts that long.

was wondering if anyone had changed their mind about someone once getting to know them.

I usually like everyone until proved otherwise...then it's some stretch to make me dislike them...so this is novel for me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"its called a gut reaction for a reason....

I wouldn't but if you do go for it and you need an "emergency" call to get out of it... give me a shout!!!!"

haha, thanks, but i've never done that! i always think if it's not going good for me, they have to be some sadist to disagree and it's far more preferable to put us both out of our misery and end it immediately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got a back up plan or get out clause if your first impressions are right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"...do they last?

have you been proved wrong on your first impression of someone? what did they do to change it...or would you always trust your first instinct?"

Ooo now that has some meat in it. Well first impressions can be misleading but usually i would say they are right. Me i will nearly always give someone a second chance to prove me wrong. But after that i will make my mind up and its nearly impossible to make me change it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If I have a bad first impression of someone than it takes a really long time for me to see them any other way,I have changed my mind about a few people though,but it takes time as im usually very wary

It'll be interesting to see how the date goes for you though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you got a back up plan or get out clause if your first impressions are right."

yes, if i'm right i will say "you're a knob-end.....jog on sunshine..."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I have a bad first impression of someone than it takes a really long time for me to see them any other way,I have changed my mind about a few people though,but it takes time as im usually very wary

It'll be interesting to see how the date goes for you though

see....you and bigbad seem to share my ethos...i think if i went on first impressions, it is akin to saying i'm incapable of being wrong....which is simply not true.

better to let someone hang themselves than me do it for them perhaps

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

It'll be interesting to see how the date goes for you though

see....you and bigbad seem to share my ethos...i think if i went on first impressions, it is akin to saying i'm incapable of being wrong....which is simply not true.

better to let someone hang themselves than me do it for them perhaps"

Well the forums do make you think as you can make decisions on peeps and meet them and they are really nice and totally different. But some people just don't give a good first impression. If someone is prepared to put their neck out and say he is a good one then they must have seen something you have missed. I'd go with an open view. You never know you might get on like a house on fire.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your first impression is more than likely the right one !!!

However it is good that you are going to meet him and see if he can prove your friend right (doubt it)

Bit surprised you you let your friend goad you into it tho !!!! so maybe there is a bit of an attraction there somewhere lol.

have fun see what happens !!!

and same as Fabio if you need a back up plan I can be in the locale lol !!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually if you need a glimmer of hope... there have been people who say they i was a bit "stand-off-ish" when they first met me in clubs....

but they said they were wrong... but i think it takes a while for the guards to come down...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"your first impression is more than likely the right one !!!

However it is good that you are going to meet him and see if he can prove your friend right (doubt it)

Bit surprised you you let your friend goad you into it tho !!!! so maybe there is a bit of an attraction there somewhere lol.

have fun see what happens !!!

and same as Fabio if you need a back up plan I can be in the locale lol !!!!!

my friend is the closest person to me...she knows me inside out and has known this guy for years....however, until now we've lived on the opposite ends of the country so the times i've met him it's either been at weddings or balls etc...either way, the drink has always been flowing.

...starting to think most of y'all is cynical!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a reason why people say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression.

Go with your instinct.go with your 1st impression "

i agree hun..1st impressions last

with me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

thank you...I'm not going with any expectations...i'm a very happily single woman so if it's a disaster, so what.

i'm going as my friend, thinks i need to and he's being persistent in trying to prove that he's worth the effort.

Also, i'm not doing anything so...why the hell not!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

thank you...I'm not going with any expectations...i'm a very happily single woman so if it's a disaster, so what.

i'm going as my friend, thinks i need to and he's being persistent in trying to prove that he's worth the effort.

Also, i'm not doing anything so...why the hell not! "
well good luck and hope all goes well x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No not yet but am thinking about trying some young 20ish yr old lad just to prove i really dont like it and that it really is disgusting, just trying to pluck up the courage is such hard work

brave lass

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

thank you...I'm not going with any expectations...i'm a very happily single woman so if it's a disaster, so what.

i'm going as my friend, thinks i need to and he's being persistent in trying to prove that he's worth the effort.

Also, i'm not doing anything so...why the hell not! "

see thats got me there !!!!! he wants to prove he is worth the effort !!! which leads me to believe that he has tried to impress you before.....

and it hasn't happened ....yet lol

at least he is persistent but I really think you had it right the first time

have fun and keep us all informed lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entcouple4550Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

If you thought he was a 'knob end' why on earth would you want to date him? It's your life not your friends no matter how close they are!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

thank you...I'm not going with any expectations...i'm a very happily single woman so if it's a disaster, so what.

i'm going as my friend, thinks i need to and he's being persistent in trying to prove that he's worth the effort.

Also, i'm not doing anything so...why the hell not!

see thats got me there !!!!! he wants to prove he is worth the effort !!! which leads me to believe that he has tried to impress you before.....

and it hasn't happened ....yet lol

at least he is persistent but I really think you had it right the first time

have fun and keep us all informed lol

'Persistent' sounds like a definition of many of the people here who attract criticism and consequent blocking as a result of their constant pestering.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asochrisMan
over a year ago

cardiff

"Maybe hes just one of those guys that is adorable sober and then turns into a dickhead when hes had a drink

Either way I hope you have a great time and come back and tell us all that first impressions are'nt always right

thank you...I'm not going with any expectations...i'm a very happily single woman so if it's a disaster, so what.

i'm going as my friend, thinks i need to and he's being persistent in trying to prove that he's worth the effort.

Also, i'm not doing anything so...why the hell not! "
I like the way you think...i always give the wrong first impression

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"............i always give the wrong first impression

On purpose?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

have you been proved wrong on your first impression of someone? what did they do to change it...or would you always trust your first instinct?"

Yes, I have been proved wrong on a first impression, she changed my opinion by being herself. I usually trust my first instinct BUT unless the first impression completely 'burns' any chances, I try to stay open and receptive because when you are proved wrong it's quite a refreshing thing.....it reminds you you're alive!

I hope the date goes well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asochrisMan
over a year ago

cardiff

"............i always give the wrong first impression

On purpose?"
No,but a few people have said they weren't sure what to expect before meeting.(I will add,there were no complaints)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It'll be interesting to see how the date goes for you though

see....you and bigbad seem to share my ethos...i think if i went on first impressions, it is akin to saying i'm incapable of being wrong....which is simply not true.

better to let someone hang themselves than me do it for them perhaps"

I agree with this theory.

Far more to a person than just a first impression.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ax the gentle GiantMan
over a year ago

birmingham

whats the worst that can happen you find that you like guy take the chance life is for living

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

My first impression was Frank Spencer and I still do it occasionally so yes first impressions can last.

Initially most people think I'm an annoying tit but when they get to know me they think I'm an annoying tit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No not yet but am thinking about trying some young 20ish yr old lad just to prove i really dont like it and that it really is disgusting, just trying to pluck up the courage is such hard work

...it's a sacrifice, I can assure you....."

For whom?? Only really for me as i would be sacrificing what i believe in, just so that in some way see where the idiots that say "age is just a number" are coming from

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol funky

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think he a knob end i would let him jog on you could regret it hun wait for mr right somebody who floats your boat as they say xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry...I can't get past the "I'm going on a date because my friend told me to" scenario.

There are some things you can only judge for yourself - this is one of them.

Good luck on whatever path you take!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First impressions can be just as clouded as any other, depending on your state of mind, when you form that impression.

I've been guilty of lusting after the "cutie" at a party or club when I've got a stiffy, lol, but once the mist has cleared and I've looked through different eyes, I've seen a different person.

The problem with first impressions is that they can prevent or even destroy a possible friendship or relationship.

Good on you though for having second thoughts and giving it a go.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry...I can't get past the "I'm going on a date because my friend told me to" scenario.

There are some things you can only judge for yourself - this is one of them.

Good luck on whatever path you take!"

oh, it's not at all like that! this lady knows both of us. I told her he'd asked me out and she knows what I think so she totally disagrees with my opinion and as I said, I have nothing to lose....it is a few hours.

I've met guys from here with less of an idea of what they are like before I meet them....there's only so much you can tell from emails, phone calls and pictures.

I am not going to marry the guy...it's dinner. If nothing else, I get fed!

Crikey...I was hoping this thread was going to be about your experiences....not mine!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Not as far as dates go but i have had a bad impression of people and then changed my mind, some have become my closest friends

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would normally go with first impressions but have been proven wrong recently and it was on here !, if your comfy trying it out and you feel safe what have you to lose except a litle time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not as far as dates go but i have had a bad impression of people and then changed my mind, some have become my closest friends"

had a good impression of some of my exes....they were flawed

friends I think are a different kettle of fish! I've not been proved wrong on them yet.

All my true friends are the kind of people that you can not contact for years and pick things up like you've never missed a second.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry...I can't get past the "I'm going on a date because my friend told me to" scenario.

There are some things you can only judge for yourself - this is one of them.

Good luck on whatever path you take!

I've met guys from here with less of an idea of what they are like before I meet them....there's only so much you can tell from emails, phone calls and pictures.

I am not going to marry the guy...it's dinner. If nothing else, I get fed!

Crikey...I was hoping this thread was going to be about your experiences....not mine!

Okay here is one for you.

I have been here for just over a year, in that time ive seen people comment on the forums, most come across as okay. One guy however, recently posted something that makes me think, is he really like that, was he having an off day, was he just being truthful/saving it how it is (though came across quite nasty to be honest). Its made me think differently of him, there was me thinking he was a nice guy, now im not so sure. So if i met him, not sure how i would behave towards him.

You have said he's a nob, you are already against him, so tomorrow when you meet, your body language is probably going to show that you really dont want to be there, standoffish if you like, yet as its a different scenario to the usual meeting places, he could be a completely different guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"Not as far as dates go but i have had a bad impression of people and then changed my mind, some have become my closest friends

had a good impression of some of my exes....they were flawed

friends I think are a different kettle of fish! I've not been proved wrong on them yet.

All my true friends are the kind of people that you can not contact for years and pick things up like you've never missed a second.

if peoples first impressions,were always right.we wouldnt have any exes.

how did it go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so...update!

the date went ok...nothing exciting, special or memorable. he was a complete gent and i was willing to accept i could be wrong. However, I wasn't swayed in any way nor did I think it was anything other than a pleasant evening.

Today I received a text from him saying he would like to meet me again...however, I shouldn't "go soft" and it was just friends. I asked him to clarify what it was he meant and he said "i'm not about to get down on one knee and that I shouldn't read any more into it than friendship".

to which i responded..."oh, the self-affiriming arrogant message" to which he asked me to clarify...so I said "the one where I'm clearly so desperate and you're such a catch that I must want to marry you immediately"...he told me I was reading to much into it.

knob

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so...update!

knob"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread