FabSwingers.com forum: I blame the parents!

By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?"

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think anyone should be a parent without completing a course! ....actually that was half joke, half truth. ...I couldn't believe when my neighbour didn't know what to do when her daughter scalded herself and glad I was in when she knocked on my door. Why aren't parents given basic first aid knowledgeduring ante natal Rather than concentrating on their birthing plans,that go out the window anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everybody blames the parents.

Thats what our society has become. Instead of taking ownership of our failings, we must blame someone else.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I don't think anyone should be a parent without completing a course! ....actually that was half joke, half truth. ...I couldn't believe when my neighbour didn't know what to do when her daughter scalded herself and glad I was in when she knocked on my door. Why aren't parents given basic first aid knowledgeduring ante natal Rather than concentrating on their birthing plans,that go out the window anyway

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

actually that is a great point...people looking after your kids have to be trained in pediatric first aid....why shouldnt parents be required to do the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?"

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right? "

So. Do we sterilise those that we don't deem fit enough to parent ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the best parents are paradoxically some of the worst parents.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

What if the people qualified to parent aren't capable of breeding? Should be have breeders and parents as separate categories?

Parenting has become much more complex than the biological imperative to produce offspring, feed it and keep it as safe as possible until it can fend for itself and get ready for breeding.

Do you think hedgehogs are having conversations with their little hedgepiglets about the green cross code?

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

hardest job in the world being a parent

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

So. Do we sterilise those that we don't deem fit enough to parent ?"

In the very rare case we do. Maybe the scope should be widened somewhat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You mean almost like china? Like 1 kid per family lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

So. Do we sterilise those that we don't deem fit enough to parent ?"

Of course not. ...although I'd love to be able to do that. ...i just think parents should be better prepared and educated. ...especially those that lack common sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Govt can't complain, they've assisted and funded bad parenting over the last 30 years or so, at least. Very keen to fund it c1997-2010.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?"

Absolutely. I wanted to see how far the thread went before the parallels became apparent.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

When I was pregnant I sat there late at night thinking what the fuck does it take to be a parent will I do things right, will I bath the baby right will I love it enough I stressed about it all and my mum said don't worry it will come naturally and that she would show me, I never at that time got a chance to be a mum but it taught me that I know I could cope with motherhood if it comes along for me again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You mean almost like china? Like 1 kid per family lol."

Or maybe the Indian sub-continent method?

Having said that, isn't the annual UK abortion figure somewhere north of 800,000 per year?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?

Absolutely. I wanted to see how far the thread went before the parallels became apparent. "

It was fairly obvious that was the angle you were going for.

It's not about that - it's about taking responsibility.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not getting sucked into this either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/07/15 00:27:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm not getting sucked into this either. "

You've been sucked.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I'm not getting sucked into this either.

You've been sucked.

Can I be sucked?

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right? "

Are kids not humans?and is not caring for a child a definition of a human right for the child?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true "

It always makes me laugh at the amount of people who are utterly shocked that I have two daughters in their 20s and no grandkids, it's never been known round here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You mean almost like china? Like 1 kid per family lol.

Or maybe the Indian sub-continent method?

Having said that, isn't the annual UK abortion figure somewhere north of 800,000 per year?

"
YEs haven't heard about the indian thing, what they do there?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

In my line of work I see a lot of fucked up parenting and seen and read some shocking things I often do wonder after they have had all their kids taken into care and are pregnant again knowing that the baby once born will be taken into care once born, why get pregnant again knowing you will never bring up that child...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/07/15 00:38:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my line of work I see a lot of fucked up parenting and seen and read some shocking things I often do wonder after they have had all their kids taken into care and are pregnant again knowing that the baby once born will be taken into care once born, why get pregnant again knowing you will never bring up that child..."

Because they haven't been educated in birth control?

should never just assum adults know these things cause some genuinely have no common sense

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true

It always makes me laugh at the amount of people who are utterly shocked that I have two daughters in their 20s and no grandkids, it's never been known round here

I know someone who is a grandmother at 35, I'm thinking I'm 35 and not yet a mother...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true

It always makes me laugh at the amount of people who are utterly shocked that I have two daughters in their 20s and no grandkids, it's never been known round here

I know someone who is a grandmother at 35, I'm thinking I'm 35 and not yet a mother...

My 14 year old goes to school with a kid who's pregnant her mum is 29

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

So. Do we sterilise those that we don't deem fit enough to parent ?"

Yes please. And if you have 2 or more police cautions by the time you're 16 its transportation!!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true

It always makes me laugh at the amount of people who are utterly shocked that I have two daughters in their 20s and no grandkids, it's never been known round here

I know someone who is a grandmother at 35, I'm thinking I'm 35 and not yet a mother...

My 14 year old goes to school with a kid who's pregnant her mum is 29

Jesus do they drink in the tilted barrel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

Are kids not humans?and is not caring for a child a definition of a human right for the child?"

Ffs a pedant......Yes kids are humans. Their rights to be safeguarded as a child comes before any human right. ...surely you can't argue that? ??

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?

Absolutely. I wanted to see how far the thread went before the parallels became apparent.

It was fairly obvious that was the angle you were going for.

It's not about that - it's about taking responsibility."

I think you think you are on the other thread.

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

No not a pedant. You are not making much sense.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right?

So. Do we sterilise those that we don't deem fit enough to parent ?

Yes please. And if you have 2 or more police cautions by the time you're 16 its transportation!!

I think giving them cars is fairly irresponsible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tee hee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?

Absolutely. I wanted to see how far the thread went before the parallels became apparent.

It was fairly obvious that was the angle you were going for.

It's not about that - it's about taking responsibility.

I think you think you are on the other thread. "

Nah, same shit different colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll volunteer first for not being a parent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea where to begin with this thread.

All I'd add is ~ no one ever questioned my ability to be a parent or has given a shit ever since

But getting a rescue dog from Battersea.....interrogation that homeland security would be proud of, home checks & a settling in period.

anyone can become a parent (but not adopt a dog!) so we have to have measures & safe guards in place to protect those that can't help themselves..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

Put it this way, if you think there should be tests, qualifications and training then the government is the last organisation on earth you want designed that system...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's impossible to train to be a parent. You can do safety and medical training and get tips about care and how to deal with situations, but basically all parents and all their children are individuals with individual situations, circumstances and experiences. There's no one size fits all for any family or the people in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some parents cannot even look after themselves overly well - and its one job that comes without a wrong and right way to do so many things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people do struggle as parents, but who's to say who is good and who is bad. Child neglect is different and then we should step in. Years ago, we put young mothers of illegitimate children into mental institutions and left them there. Or took children from unmarried mothers too without their consent. We wouldn't want to go back to that.

More parenting courses would be good. Networking for parents in vital, especially if you do struggle with any aspect of it. Differences are good though, be very dull if every child was raised exactly the same way.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Too many kids having kids knock one out and claim the benifits

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

kids having kids is a large part of the problem .too many teenage mums who are not mature enough to cope and have partners who absolve themselves of all responasability leaving the poor girl to bring up the child with a succession of inadequate "boyfriends " who flee at the first sign of pressure and responsibility . unfortunatly thier children are now having children and making the same mistakes so the poor parenting continues . welcome to modern britain

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 18/07/15 07:41:54]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"hardest job in the world being a parent"

Nah...piece of piss. Mummy may I...? No! Why? Because I'm the mother and I said so!"

Doddle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"kids having kids is a large part of the problem .too many teenage mums who are not mature enough to cope and have partners who absolve themselves of all responasability leaving the poor girl to bring up the child with a succession of inadequate "boyfriends " who flee at the first sign of pressure and responsibility . unfortunatly thier children are now having children and making the same mistakes so the poor parenting continues . welcome to modern britain "

There are also some fantastic teenage mums and not all parents over 20/30/40 are brilliant. It's a cross section across all ages. I've met brilliant single teenage mothers who's children are a credit to them.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

most round here are grandparents by that age

so true

It always makes me laugh at the amount of people who are utterly shocked that I have two daughters in their 20s and no grandkids, it's never been known round here

I have three daughters: 24, 28 and 32. My eldest has been married three years and expecting twins later this year.

Some of my friends, younger than me, with children younger than mine are great grand parents!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 18/07/15 07:54:00]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

there are some terrible parents that should never ever, ever have had children......

but they had them, we need to do everything we can to help the children, they didn't ask to be born to them.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"there are some terrible parents that should never ever, ever have had children......

but they had them, we need to do everything we can to help the children, they didn't ask to be born to them.

Amen to that.

Sadly, sometimes you just know the poor kid doesn't stand a chance!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and there are some terrible children that when they grown are fucking shocking to their elderly parents......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How on earth do you define what a good parent is? I've known young teen parents that have a huge amount of time and love for their children and also have some of the most politest children I have met. On the other hand some "middle class" parents have unruly rude children that live on chicken nuggets and chips and certainly no table manners because they never eat with their parents. I do hate the way these debates all two quickly become teen mum bashing threads - btw I wasn't a teen mum.

Anyway to the original point parenting is a huge learning curve I don't think it could ever successfully be taught.

Looking at past and present politicians should they really be introducing and policing such a policy when you don't have to look far to name alcoholics, drug users, adulterers, racists and paedophiles not to mention David Cameron who left his daughter behind ay the pub??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

Ever thought of moving To China.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

On reason for bad parents is society’s and government’s _iew that everyone should be working.

Children need at least one parent at home, if both parents, or even the single parent (in a one parent family) is working the child is missing out.

This simple fact has been proven time and time again since the 1950s when more and more households had both parents working.

The cost to society when both parents work is far greater than what it would cost to pay the stay at home parent to stay at home. However current thinking dubs them as scroungers.

Because of that simple fact society pays, it is time to wake up and smell the coffee.

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By *unseeker34Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

What a stupid obnoxious thread, wonder how many of you yourselves would pass with honours!?!?

Also, I love how 'bad parenting' is attributed to teenage parents. I was a teenage parent, I'm 35 & my son is now 19.....I would never win parent of the year but he's a good lad who's never been in any trouble, works hard and lives on his own with his girlfriend. My 2 girls were also born before I turned 25! (During which time I managed to squeeze in college & university whilst working!)

Love being tarred with the typical teenage parent brush.......just to point out, there's some terrible 'old' parents out there too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How on earth do you define what a good parent is? I've known young teen parents that have a huge amount of time and love for their children and also have some of the most politest children I have met. On the other hand some "middle class" parents have unruly rude children that live on chicken nuggets and chips and certainly no table manners because they never eat with their parents. I do hate the way these debates all two quickly become teen mum bashing threads - btw I wasn't a teen mum.

Anyway to the original point parenting is a huge learning curve I don't think it could ever successfully be taught.

I don't think good parenting can be taught as such. More of a role model situation. But also dependent on the person.

-Some people with shit parents have gone on to be fantastic parents themselves. Determined to be better than their own.

Other people use their bad parents as some sort of excuse to be crap people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mrs Jones you look stunning. I bet you are a fab parent. Like I hope and wish all mums and dads are on here.

My only regret of being born into a large family is, Having 2 older sisters, why is that ! I looked f**king stupid wearing a blouse and girls shoes. pass me downs.

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By *unseeker34Couple
over a year ago

Newcastle

"On reason for bad parents is society’s and government’s _iew that everyone should be working.

Children need at least one parent at home, if both parents, or even the single parent (in a one parent family) is working the child is missing out.

This simple fact has been proven time and time again since the 1950s when more and more households had both parents working.

The cost to society when both parents work is far greater than what it would cost to pay the stay at home parent to stay at home. However current thinking dubs them as scroungers.

Because of that simple fact society pays, it is time to wake up and smell the coffee.

Nope.......both my parents worked, I never missed out. I have always worked........quality time not quantity of time is the key! Yeah we've missed out sometimes, usually things like the odd sports day and things but it's taught my kids about not being able to do everything you want, you have to work for what you've got and all that.

It's ok tho cos I work in the NHS and I hear a rumour that Jeremy wants us to be a 24/7 service (funny cos I've been working 24/7 shifts for 10 years!) as mon-fri is archaic non flexible and not in with current times....... so I'm just waiting for him to announce the same for schooling

) looking forward to spending some time with my kids when I'm off thru the week and then sending them to school on the weekend

#idiot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Parenting is a right, legally it can't really be another way in this country. People can always try to have children.

I have worked with many a family where each generation isn't able to meet a child's needs, it is an extremely tough job with no real 'lessons'. If you look at societal impacts of poor health or education, bad parenting etc, it's worrying that it isn't as big a priority as it could be. That said, most parents work hard to do their best and children are generally happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

Just realised I didn't really answer the original questions, apologies

so....

Yes

Their parents primarily

And a PHD of course

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?

Ever thought of moving To China.

No. I don't agree with their policies on parenting and family size.

Do you ?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"and there are some terrible children that when they grown are fucking shocking to their elderly parents......"

Sadly, that too.

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By *traddle VariousWoman
over a year ago

Salford

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

Thought provoking as ever G.C.

Hope it always remains a right.

Shame about the posters who don't know the difference between a question and a statement.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's too short a jump to eugenics, once we determine who should and should have kids. And those interests were largely curtailed when Hitler had been in power.

I do think some parenting classes could be useful, covering some of the points raised here. With people being able to freely move through the EU, I'm not sure who would manage, deliver and control such a system.

Also, our government is implementing a reduction in the size of the state, so this would be contrary to this. And expect it to have to be paid for. Perhaps by taxed unhealthy kids food?

Overall, you can't control parenthood and rights to have children, whilst not expecting other freedoms and rights to not be curtailed too. Dictatorship run countries - yes, but not in democracies with liberty.

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

"You mean almost like china? Like 1 kid per family lol."

Forced abortion is lol?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I became a mum at the age of 17. Couldn't of done a bad job, she's now teaches math at a private school.

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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago

East Manchester

Hmm eugenicsy smell about here?. If I remember my history lessons from years ago correctly, Eugenics was about the superiority of certain races over others, with the German final solution applied to any race of people deemed unfit to live and definitely not be allowed to breed by the German presidency. The Germans euthanized the mental hospital patients first, then the Romany community, followed by eastern Europeans and finally the European Jewry. Buy those of good aryian stock were encouraged to breed and awarded medals for bringing more model German children into the war.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a A+ in art but cannot draw to save my life even though I got a bit of paper saying I can doesn't mean I can..... so what would testing parents before having kids do??? A test is a zillion miles of being reality x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's too short a jump to eugenics, once we determine who should and should have kids. And those interests were largely curtailed when Hitler had been in power.

Also, our government is implementing a reduction in the size of the state, so this would be contrary to this. And expect it to have to be paid for. Perhaps by taxed unhealthy kids food?

I know what you are saying. Unfortunately I used to have a job where I'd see women that were, for want of a batter phrase, crack whores. They seemed perpetually pregnant and giving birth to babies born with a crack addiction.

Would I like them to be stopped from having children - emotionally yes. But the rational side of me knows what a slippery slope that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's too short a jump to eugenics, once we determine who should and should have kids. And those interests were largely curtailed when Hitler had been in power.

Also, our government is implementing a reduction in the size of the state, so this would be contrary to this. And expect it to have to be paid for. Perhaps by taxed unhealthy kids food?

Would I like them to be stopped from having children - emotionally yes. But the rational side of me knows what a slippery slope that is. "

Some people don't deserve kids especially people like that who just have kids for fun off it. But that doesn't mean some drug addics get pregnant then totally turn their life around for the sake of their baby n make brilliant parents but of they had to do some sort of test they would have failed x

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By *otgymfitanymoreCouple
over a year ago

pontefract

Anyway to the original point parenting is a huge learning curve I don't think it could ever successfully be taught.

I don't think good parenting can be taught as such. More of a role model situation. But also dependent on the person.

-Some people with shit parents have gone on to be fantastic parents themselves. Determined to be better than their own.

Other people use their bad parents as some sort of excuse to be crap people.

I also hate teenage parent bashing as I was pregnant at 16 and had my son at 16, saying that I think 16 is far too young to have a child, at 16 you have just left school with a few years to enjoy and experience life so you can pass those experiences onto your children. Having said that we raised a very good child who has gone into uni with top grades! We always supported him to do the things we never had the opportunity to do to, and I was determined he wouldn't have the upbringing that I had!

There's good and bad stories all over but don't just assume a teenage pregnancy is to get out of work and get free council house, yes some do but not all!!!

I am thankful for my some is more careful than I was otherwise I would have been a grandmother at 32!!

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By *otgymfitanymoreCouple
over a year ago

pontefract

"It's too short a jump to eugenics, once we determine who should and should have kids. And those interests were largely curtailed when Hitler had been in power.

Also, our government is implementing a reduction in the size of the state, so this would be contrary to this. And expect it to have to be paid for. Perhaps by taxed unhealthy kids food?

Would I like them to be stopped from having children - emotionally yes. But the rational side of me knows what a slippery slope that is. "

It would be a lovely thought if they could be removed and implanted into a suragate to not endure withdrawal at birth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Somebody could have an MA in parenting, and be a terrible parent, somebody could have no experience with children whatsoever, and turn out to be the best parent. You need some skills and knowledge, but there are other things, patience and understanding, guidance, outside help from family, friends and authorities, society needs to be there for children too. Your expectations of being a parent may be squashed, what if you child is born with a disability, can you cope with that, what about outside influences, what if your child is gay, will you support them, or do you have ideals that are more important than your child's feelings? There is such a lot to being a parent, you may fail in some areas and succeed in others. There are some extreme cases of bad parenting, but if you do the best you can and learn from your mistakes. Extreme cases aside,I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves."

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do we deal with human rights arguements etc ?

I don't care about human rights. Surely each child has a right to be looked after and cared for? That has to come before any human right? "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one! "

Agree to this also

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

The thing is it,s kids having kids thats the problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one! "

Re-read what I said please, extreme cases aside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one!

Re-read what I said please, extreme cases aside.

The logic is the same whether it's extreme cases or not. You don't need to run your own restaurant to criticise a restaurant that has sloppy service but isn't extremely bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

Eugenics?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one!

Re-read what I said please, extreme cases aside.

The logic is the same whether it's extreme cases or not. You don't need to run your own restaurant to criticise a restaurant that has sloppy service but isn't extremely bad. "

I apologise, probably not very clear the way I stated that, I understand what you are saying, but what I mean is people are very critical of a lot of parents on their failings, and not able to see their successes, I struggle as a single parent and run myself into the ground, but people will make an assumption of my whole parenting skills,based on a few failings, these people either don't have kids themselves, or, are self righteous and never spend time with their kids, they think supplying lots of money is the sign of a good parent, It really angers and upsets me at times, there are obvious cases of bad parenting, but some people just need some help, and a lot of people prefer to point the finger rather than offer help, my family and so called friends fall into this category. Sorry for my fuzzy logic, lol.

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

I see lots of parents in my job and think most people are trying their best with what they have. Oftentimes they dont know any better ... and that is not me being patronising. I am a single parent too, and my oldest had severe behaviour problems from his early teens. He is now travelling with a place at univ to come back to next her, if he does. There are some extreme cases of bad parenting our there, but in my opinion, if it concerns you, you should do something about it ... I don't mean only reporting it but also getting involved in supporting others or in supporting children. Too many people say its just about the parents when its about every one of us ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see lots of parents in my job and think most people are trying their best with what they have. Oftentimes they dont know any better ... and that is not me being patronising. I am a single parent too, and my oldest had severe behaviour problems from his early teens. He is now travelling with a place at univ to come back to next her, if he does. There are some extreme cases of bad parenting our there, but in my opinion, if it concerns you, you should do something about it ... I don't mean only reporting it but also getting involved in supporting others or in supporting children. Too many people say its just about the parents when its about every one of us ...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think anyone has the right to criticise others unless they have proven to be great parents themselves.

Rather fuzzy logic there. You don't need to run your own restaurant to know the difference between a good and a bad one!

Re-read what I said please, extreme cases aside.

The logic is the same whether it's extreme cases or not. You don't need to run your own restaurant to criticise a restaurant that has sloppy service but isn't extremely bad.

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

However, criticism from a hypocrite is as factually valid as anyone's, it's just ultra annoying. I think they have the right to say it, as long as they don't mind you giving them a reminder of their own failings back.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out."

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway."

I know what you are saying but apparently 820,000 kids a week turn up to school without having had breakfast. That's not ok! Before anyone says it, lack of finances were not the #1 cause identified in the report.

Those parents need to be told that's not ok, even by people who make unrelated parenting mistakes (e.g. not spending enough time with their kids)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Those parents need to be told that's not ok, even by people who make unrelated parenting mistakes (e.g. not spending enough time with their kids) "

I agree children need protecting, and some things need pointing out, were they all due to parental neglect, or did some kids refuse breakfast?

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

My oldest told me 'you have done a great job for us financially, but are not always there emotionally' ... made me think, hell, I can't do everything, but he acknowledges I have tried; and at least he can be articulate about it, no not doing awfully with emotional aspects. Its a job, it never stops, but I love being a parent for all the joys it brings .... I never say I am perfect and I think that helps with the dialogue

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Those parents need to be told that's not ok, even by people who make unrelated parenting mistakes (e.g. not spending enough time with their kids) "
how do you make a child eat breakfast that refuses, taking in mind your on a timescale?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My oldest told me 'you have done a great job for us financially, but are not always there emotionally' ... made me think, hell, I can't do everything, but he acknowledges I have tried; and at least he can be articulate about it, no not doing awfully with emotional aspects. Its a job, it never stops, but I love being a parent for all the joys it brings .... I never say I am perfect and I think that helps with the dialogue"

You may be doing better than you think, I have twin boys with ASD, SLD, OCD and ADHD, a very mixed little bag they make, I do what I can for their physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing, but it's very difficult, I have to rely on local authority help to prevent having them in care, so to have people nit pick about things I don't manage to do is very upsetting.

I think people need to understand a parents plight before putting the boot in. Keep going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Those parents need to be told that's not ok, even by people who make unrelated parenting mistakes (e.g. not spending enough time with their kids) how do you make a child eat breakfast that refuses, taking in mind your on a timescale?

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

No exactly the opposite.

The more society interferes with parenting the less parents take responsibility for their children.

Society should but out and allow parents to bring up their children as they have done for thousands of years.

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Have them take it with them, or tell the teachers they have not had any that morning. Send them in with something healthy to snack on .... perhaps not a mars bar, not saying you do, but I have seen it, or kids coming in with blue lips and tongue, courtesy of what they had for breakfast that morning on the way to school. When we lived in the USA drive through breakfasts were a godsend ... pancakes and syrup with orange juice or breakfast burrito for 19 cents, ie scrambled egg in a wrap. That was a while ago, but the kids loved it ..."
they where saying its wrong for them to turn up to school without having breakfast, so my question still stands.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

"Is parenting a right ?

Is it time for society to control who can be and can't be parents ?

How do people train to be parents ?

What's the minimum qualification you think a parent should hold ?"

PhD in Particle Physics; 'cause kids behave like Quarks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Have them take it with them, or tell the teachers they have not had any that morning. Send them in with something healthy to snack on .... perhaps not a mars bar, not saying you do, but I have seen it, or kids coming in with blue lips and tongue, courtesy of what they had for breakfast that morning on the way to school. When we lived in the USA drive through breakfasts were a godsend ... pancakes and syrup with orange juice or breakfast burrito for 19 cents, ie scrambled egg in a wrap. That was a while ago, but the kids loved it ...they where saying its wrong for them to turn up to school without having breakfast, so my question still stands."

One of my lads sometimes refuses to eat breakfast, doesn't harm him, and I can't force feed him, but I always make it available for him, things are not as cut and dry as some people like to think.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Have them take it with them, or tell the teachers they have not had any that morning. Send them in with something healthy to snack on .... perhaps not a mars bar, not saying you do, but I have seen it, or kids coming in with blue lips and tongue, courtesy of what they had for breakfast that morning on the way to school. When we lived in the USA drive through breakfasts were a godsend ... pancakes and syrup with orange juice or breakfast burrito for 19 cents, ie scrambled egg in a wrap. That was a while ago, but the kids loved it ...they where saying its wrong for them to turn up to school without having breakfast, so my question still stands."
they weren't taking into account those that either take it with them or go to breakfast clubs, they where saying its wrong to leave the house without breakfast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Have them take it with them, or tell the teachers they have not had any that morning. Send them in with something healthy to snack on .... perhaps not a mars bar, not saying you do, but I have seen it, or kids coming in with blue lips and tongue, courtesy of what they had for breakfast that morning on the way to school. When we lived in the USA drive through breakfasts were a godsend ... pancakes and syrup with orange juice or breakfast burrito for 19 cents, ie scrambled egg in a wrap. That was a while ago, but the kids loved it ...they where saying its wrong for them to turn up to school without having breakfast, so my question still stands.they weren't taking into account those that either take it with them or go to breakfast clubs, they where saying its wrong to leave the house without breakfast"

I know, this is what I'm talking about, not seeing the whole picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out.

Maybe a world that is more compassionate, where people don't feel the need to behave like that anyway.

Have them take it with them, or tell the teachers they have not had any that morning. Send them in with something healthy to snack on .... perhaps not a mars bar, not saying you do, but I have seen it, or kids coming in with blue lips and tongue, courtesy of what they had for breakfast that morning on the way to school. When we lived in the USA drive through breakfasts were a godsend ... pancakes and syrup with orange juice or breakfast burrito for 19 cents, ie scrambled egg in a wrap. That was a while ago, but the kids loved it ...they where saying its wrong for them to turn up to school without having breakfast, so my question still stands.they weren't taking into account those that either take it with them or go to breakfast clubs, they where saying its wrong to leave the house without breakfast

I know, this is what I'm talking about, not seeing the whole picture."

Sorry to let the facts get in the way of a romantic story but if you actually read the report that the 820,000 figure comes from you'd see that #1 reason for not giving the children breakfast was "parental apathy". Not refusal to eat, not lack of funds. That is to say that the report explicitly mentions that plenty of primary school kids didn't get breakfast because the parents weren't awake in time to make it for them.

The breakfast clubs were set up because children were fainting and falling asleep in class.

Sorry if that upsets the PC brigade. My point is simply that if a child is fainting in a classroom, you don't need to be parent of the year to say something and according to the report it's not so rare. I didn't realise that would be so contraversial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I agree with all that. You're alluding to very common biases in human psychology.

Selection bias - seeing another parent do something and assuming that sample of 1 event represents their overall parenting skills.

Confirmation bias - once someone had decided someone else is a "bad parent" then everything you do will be interpreted as supporting evidence.

The halo effect - their own failures will be explained away by circumstances and external events.

I'm not saying it's ok, it is what it is. I think what we agree on is that most people are, by nature, hypocritical and unaware of it.

In other words, don't dish it out if you can't take it. I think a world where we all take it is better than an ultra PC world where nobody can dish it out."

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"how do you decide who can be a parent

how do you know if somebody will be a good parent or a bad one till they have had kids?

Hypothetically - We eduacate them through schooling and test them at an appropriate age ... let's say 25. If you don't get a first .... no kids

I blame the Grannies

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London