FabSwingers.com forum: Fab Auction

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.

Who are you going to bid for and how much?

Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*funds

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Funkymonkey, for two pinches of fluff and a tube of glitter.

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By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

"*funds"

Depends what size of extension your after ?? Xxx lol

£20 x that'll start it off xxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there is any money left over, can I have a penis reduction !!! I wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pooch and I will be happy to put ourselves up

Walks , picnics cuddles and kisses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If there is any money left over, can I have a penis reduction !!! I wish

God damn it - that would have been a much better opener.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.

Who are you going to bid for and how much?

Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.

Who gets the penis enlargement...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Come on whos gona part with there cash for an old duffer like me.... god i no how to sell myself me

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie "

10 zilion pounds ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

10 zilion pounds ?"

Apologies sir but your card was declined.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

*wonders how long till the thread gets shut down for offering to buy people even though it's in jest like the other one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

10 zilion pounds ?"

There you go lib sorted it out with one bid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brighton Steve - £5 opening bid. Increased to £20 if I Get to SpAnk his arse.

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Waiting patiently for the show to begin

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

10 zilion pounds ?

Apologies sir but your card was declined."

doh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll take the steak and lingerie!! Not let me check the bank!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie "

I'll bid on this if I get to meet the new pup lol xx

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

10 zilion pounds ?

There you go lib sorted it out with one bid"

Contry to popular belive you have not sorted me out yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*wonders how long till the thread gets shut down for offering to buy people even though it's in jest like the other one...

If it does it does. No worries.

All bids are legally binding though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I test the new penis??

You can auction me off.. I'll make a steak dinner in naughty lingerie

I'll bid on this if I get to meet the new pup lol xx"

Yes puppy cuddles are included

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

I seem to remember a thread similar to this where the ladies appeared to be very tight indeed - I think 20p an hour was considered a good offer for most male's services, and many ladies wanted a two for one offer thrown in at that price

It will be interesting to see what transpires here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm available for free so really doubt anyone would bid for me.

But to hell with it, I'm in......

Who knows, I might even place a bid myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£10 if I can meet Jim's mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A wee bag of Groats for the ol'duffer Blade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

"
..I wouldn't swipe my card if you bent Mr FB I'd get the monster oot just for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

You can swipe but just don't insert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

You can swipe but just don't insert

Now your talking...bend Sir

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Cash only for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standing by to take one for the team. Price pro rata by the inch for Libs penis.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Standing by to take one for the team. Price pro rata by the inch for Libs penis. "

God bless you. *sheds a tear*

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"£10 if I can meet Jim's mum

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

..I wouldn't swipe my card if you bent Mr FB I'd get the monster oot just for you

squeaky voice.... awch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to remember a thread similar to this where the ladies appeared to be very tight indeed - I think 20p an hour was considered a good offer for most male's services, and many ladies wanted a two for one offer thrown in at that price

It will be interesting to see what transpires here

Bogof sounds like a good deal !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you do cards...I need somewhere to swipe it....now whose gonna bend for me

..I wouldn't swipe my card if you bent Mr FB I'd get the monster oot just for you

squeaky voice.... awch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

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By *MP3Man
over a year ago

Between Scylla and Charybdis

It will be interesting to see what transpires here

Bogof sounds like a good deal ! "

And the discounting begins...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A long playing record and a French polishing kit

bargain

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

oooh an auction...if you can satisfy your requirement for a penis enlargement through me being auctioned off..go for it

anything to fullfil someones fantasy..x

monopoly wise id sell Mayfair for the extension for you....if i had all the utilities and stations, i would invest in the elusive teleporter and share, and make geography history for all those what wanted to shag each others brains out...because im nice like that..

that aside, on with the auction...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do the successful bidders actually get for the cash?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

[Removed by poster at 17/07/15 18:07:22]

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

I will offer £2.99 for either Tosh or Private Parts. Saves me having to buy new batteries....for my alarm clock. Breakfast included.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

[Removed by poster at 17/07/15 18:08:23]

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench. "

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

50p for shags bush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

Can i pay you in kind?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i'll bid 2 everlasting gobstoppers and a curly wurly to be the photographer for anna anon.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cash for me but a cheeky smile might win me over ladies haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd auction myself to help a fellow forum poster....

....that's 5p towards your cause

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv just spent mine on a pair of shoes .... Hang on I'll see what down the back of the Sofa x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i'll bid 2 everlasting gobstoppers and a curly wurly to be the photographer for anna anon..... "

Ooh I'll take the curly wurly. But since I'm my own photographer...doesn't that mean you'll be taking photos of yourself?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x"

As long as I get to keep the egg too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

Can i pay you in kind?"

Only if you pay by the hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x

As long as I get to keep the egg too

Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x

As long as I get to keep the egg too

Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb. "

And the egg?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pejizzle?

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I gamble with my life, not with my money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll bid two fat turnips and some church money for anyone who will bring me a pint of lager

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Fabergé egg for the Wyrd wench.

Enough of the fluttering. That my final bid. x

As long as I get to keep the egg too

Regrettably, the proceeds are ear-marked for the installation of Lib's Bionic member. You may however fondle and stroke said bejeweled orb.

And the egg?

Rest assured wench, I shall feed you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pejizzle? "

You deserve only the best good man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

Can i pay you in kind?

Only if you pay by the hour

How many hours can you spare?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bid two batteries and breakfast for Lola

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I'm in ......cash only and more than a pound please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

Can i pay you in kind?

Only if you pay by the hour

How many hours can you spare?"

A jobs not finished until it's done right,

Or I will just have to put some overtime in

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.

Who are you going to bid for and how much?

Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.

1. Why the hell would you want it enlarged?!

and

2. I can throw in half a packet of biltong, a single yoghurt left from a multipack and some KFC wipes if it'll help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to donate a collection of extraordinarily Natty headwear and an impossibly stylelish selection of swimwear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.

Who are you going to bid for and how much?

Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.

1. Why the hell would you want it enlarged?!

and

2. I can throw in half a packet of biltong, a single yoghurt left from a multipack and some KFC wipes if it'll help

I will swop you the wipes for some left over chicken bones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've decided that I'm going to be auctioning off Fab members to raise some funs for a penis enlargement.

Who are you going to bid for and how much?

Don't be shy ladies and gents - show me the money.

I'll give £50 for you...but I want you after the penis enlargement

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£10 if I can meet Jim's mum

Sold to the lady in the Norwich City shirt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd pay 20 quid and a bag of Haribo for someone to go and milk Shag's cock behind his chosen bush in Penge. It's worth it just to see what he asks for next.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

£20 and Iona gets to spank my arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?"

Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£10 if I can meet Jim's mum

Sold to the lady in the Norwich City shirt."

Yay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£2.50 and a packet of polos and those gentlemen with them can lean your rippled torso over my bonnet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

Huh?..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd pay 20 quid and a bag of Haribo for someone to go and milk Shag's cock behind his chosen bush in Penge. It's worth it just to see what he asks for next. "

pahahahaha!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£20 to spank ms kellys bottom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

You've had your hair chopped!! Love the avatar pic xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

What does the new hair cut look like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

Huh?.."

Haircut.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

What does the new hair cut look like

Gert lush from what I can tell from the avatar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

Nice new avatar x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

What does the new hair cut look like

^ looks like this

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Did someone mention 20p an hour??? Got some housework for a keen, cant find a woman man lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

Huh?..

Haircut. "

I know..

..it's nice ...but gah!...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

Can i pay you in kind?

Only if you pay by the hour

How many hours can you spare?

A jobs not finished until it's done right,

Or I will just have to put some overtime in

You sound like my kinda man

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

She's a liar - it was from her minge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

She's a liar - it was from her minge. "

The half was my left armpit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could make a fortune from either of the two places just mentioned, Some strange people on fab

Your hair looks lovely by the way

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I bid 20 camels......

oh hang on ... that is wrong...

I mean 10 Lambert and Butler!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could try my hand at being a naked butler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

I'll buy it!!!!!!!!!!

Name your price.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

I'll buy it!!!!!!!!!!

Name your price.

I'll beat it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

I'll buy it!!!!!!!!!!

Name your price.

I'll beat it

"
But we're talking no more than a fiver, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.

I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.

I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately

Waves.

Over hair. I mean over here........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£20 to spank ms kellys bottom

"
sold xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I could try my hand at being a naked butler

How much ?

Do I get to eat/drink from your body

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.

I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately

Nah, I'll have it. I reckon the colour's close enough I could use it to go full Rapunzel or Lady Godiva.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

put it on the "Baldy Thread" and witness the feeding frenzy.

I was thinking that. There seem to have been loads lately

Nah, I'll have it. I reckon the colour's close enough I could use it to go full Rapunzel or Lady Godiva.

I'd chip in and go half's if your going to do a Lady Godiva

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head? "

Ooh! Have you had the chop?

I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

Ooh! Have you had the chop?

I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.

10 mins? We are both gobshites, so neither of us would have shut up by then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?

Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront

I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

Ooh! Have you had the chop?

I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.

Yep, I've lost about half a stone in hair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?

Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront

I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.

I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"What can I get for approx 1.5 feet of top quality hair that is no longer connected to my head?

Ooh! Have you had the chop?

I've got 23p and a sports bra I can't manage to do up to offer for 10 minutes with TT.

10 mins? We are both gobshites, so neither of us would have shut up by then

I'll use the sports bra as a gag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?

Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront

I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.

I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.

Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will just sell myself,

Some naked house cleaning/gardening ?

or anything else

I need a cleaner. Do you do a student discount?

Student! You lot have a reputation it could be a messy one, I would need payment upfront

I'll have you know I'm bloody middle glass. :D I even take yoga classes and shop in M&S for my food.

I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.

Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush)"

I've a bottle of limoncello in the freezer... Its a bit like lemon fairy liquid. I'm pretty gutted about it

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I've also d*unk quite alot of homemade limoncello tonight and can't type.

Home made limoncello is proof of middle class ness (also sounds lush)"

I can't stand limoncello - I must be sticking true to my peasant roots.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

£5 per hour for naked male handyman service or £105 ph for Shag, as he doesn't leave Penge. I'd take any of you guys, if you're good with your hands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always happy to do my bit for charity

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