FabSwingers.com forum: Holding yourself back why ?

By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

This is driving me mad. Has anyone out there ever had a time of their life where you really want tondo something fun, go to a party a club see friends a day out buy yourself something and yet find everytime some part of yourself that's your own worst enemy stopping you holding back and making excuses like ah I'd love to but I will be busy etc and the later wishing when it's too late you had done it. It's like the worst enemy is yourself but what the hell causes this and what is it. It's like self denial and a sense of undeserving of self punishment. Crazy

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"This is driving me mad. Has anyone out there ever had a time of their life where you really want tondo something fun, go to a party a club see friends a day out buy yourself something and yet find everytime some part of yourself that's your own worst enemy stopping you holding back and making excuses like ah I'd love to but I will be busy etc and the later wishing when it's too late you had done it. It's like the worst enemy is yourself but what the hell causes this and what is it. It's like self denial and a sense of undeserving of self punishment. Crazy

Could be a form of depression - I would talk to your Doc x

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

Maybe but genrally im really happy and do stuff with my life I don't think I'm depressed I certainly don't exhibit all the symptoms and can relate to some but only sometimes. I'm not the only one I know like this it's just an odd feeling where you fee kind of like an observer of your own life rather than being inside your own life. Sorta hard to describe really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In some ways, maybe a lifelong subconscious morality? Often put there by one's conditioning parents.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

I behave like that often. For me it's a constant struggle against my natural hermitism! I knowv it's not good for me and I'm missing out on life but I just want to stay at home on my own.

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

Yes controlling parents and nastyness constantly could be it along with bullying destroying self perception of who you think you are from the core of who you are but how do you change that. And reclusion fits love to socialise but also enjoy my own solice too

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Maybe but genrally im really happy and do stuff with my life I don't think I'm depressed I certainly don't exhibit all the symptoms and can relate to some but only sometimes. I'm not the only one I know like this it's just an odd feeling where you fee kind of like an observer of your own life rather than being inside your own life. Sorta hard to describe really

I know exactly what you mean but depression can manifest as inertia rather than sadness per se. Worth talking through with a professional I think anyway, good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you've just got to do less thinking and more doing.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"Sometimes you've just got to do less thinking and more doing."

So wise for one so young

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Sometimes you've just got to do less thinking and more doing."

Yup. I might have crippling shyness but when opportunity knocks I'm having it!!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Ps flashy. Love the beard. Gives me something to hang on to. Woof!

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"Ps flashy. Love the beard. Gives me something to hang on to. Woof!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure if I understand the context? A lot of people hold themselves back in certain ways or stay sensible rather than adventurous etc, or do you literally mean avoiding fun by convincing yourself to avoid it for no particular reason?

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

"Ps flashy. Love the beard. Gives me something to hang on to. Woof!"

Hahah lol love Lord flashheart just a fun name to use.

I do tend to over think stuff can't help it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes you've just got to do less thinking and more doing.

Yup. I might have crippling shyness but when opportunity knocks I'm having it!!"

I can't imagine you coming across shy in person!

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

"I'm not sure if I understand the context? A lot of people hold themselves back in certain ways or stay sensible rather than adventurous etc, or do you literally mean avoiding fun by convincing yourself to avoid it for no particular reason?"

I suppose social situations, parties for example thinking if you went you would not really fit in or be in the way. Or say of someone said they liked you your initial reaction would be to feel your about to be part of a gag or something

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Ps flashy. Love the beard. Gives me something to hang on to. Woof!

Hahah lol love Lord flashheart just a fun name to use.

I do tend to over think stuff can't help it

We all do sometimes. But listen-unless you're some religious type this is it. One life. May as well enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I behave like that often. For me it's a constant struggle against my natural hermitism! I knowv it's not good for me and I'm missing out on life but I just want to stay at home on my own."

I like shagging hermits

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

"Ps flashy. Love the beard. Gives me something to hang on to. Woof!

Hahah lol love Lord flashheart just a fun name to use.

I do tend to over think stuff can't help it

We all do sometimes. But listen-unless you're some religious type this is it. One life. May as well enjoy it."

Not religious at all I believe in people being free

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"I behave like that often. For me it's a constant struggle against my natural hermitism! I knowv it's not good for me and I'm missing out on life but I just want to stay at home on my own.

I like shagging hermits

It's tricky though, luring them out of their cave!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I behave like that often. For me it's a constant struggle against my natural hermitism! I knowv it's not good for me and I'm missing out on life but I just want to stay at home on my own.

I like shagging hermits

It's tricky though, luring them out of their cave!"

best not advertise I'm bringing them to the party

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"I behave like that often. For me it's a constant struggle against my natural hermitism! I knowv it's not good for me and I'm missing out on life but I just want to stay at home on my own.

I like shagging hermits

It's tricky though, luring them out of their cave!

best not advertise I'm bringing them to the party

There's a party? I can't go, I won't know what to say to people, I'll sit in a corner on my own all night, i won't enjoy it. I'll stay home with the cats.....just to get back to the topic, that's my reaction to an invite out!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No. If I had an issue like this, I would deal with it. Once you're clear what it is that you need and want, you can cut yourself a deal.

Either you'll go for stuff and live, or accept a different course in life, where other things will be important and you can forget about other stuff.

Plenty of ways to change and get over issues and blocks. I'll start a thread when I'm more alert.

And never give yourself a hard time. Life's tough enough without sadism added on.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

That zone called comfort is so named for a reason. Sometimes it's easier to oot out than to take a risk. Sometimes we're on just say no mode because we don't think we deserve the fun. Sometimes there's just no point getting dressed up because you're in a crap mood.

Take a risk every one in a while. The more that pan out the more you're willing to take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And never give yourself a hard time. Life's tough enough without sadism added on."

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

"No. If I had an issue like this, I would deal with it. Once you're clear what it is that you need and want, you can cut yourself a deal.

Either you'll go for stuff and live, or accept a different course in life, where other things will be important and you can forget about other stuff.

Plenty of ways to change and get over issues and blocks. I'll start a thread when I'm more alert.

And never give yourself a hard time. Life's tough enough without sadism added on."
good advice from someone who knows the difference it's hard for some of us to see that way and the. When we can still find it hard to do ourselves. I often find I give others the advice I need to take myself weird

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By *rSinful OP Man
over a year ago

mysteryville

Starting to think this is the same for me with other things in life. Once I was frightened to get on stage now I just do it and live the moment. But used to over think over practice.

I have discovered in life what when you do take the plunge fear becomes excitement mostly and you wonder why you waisted time. Best get me me and the Mrs to some clubs soon

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