FabSwingers.com forum: Sub Drop

By *dam and slut OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Quite a few people experience it. Have you and if you have, what do you do to ease it.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Enlighten me?

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 06/07/15 00:27:11]

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Quite a few people experience it. Have you and if you have, what do you do to ease it."

I struggle with drop. I don't really have ways of coping with it properly.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Enlighten me?"

This is from submissive guide

'Sub Drop can come in many different forms. Sub Drop is the emotional and physical affects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a play session. Most of what you read online are the physical aspects; the fatigue, sadness, aches and pains and recovery from marks. There is a more intense side of Sub Drop that gets very little attention because for each person it is different and describing how to recover can take many forms.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Only just realised what you meant. It's like any drug. When you're that high, need to learn to handle the come down

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Enlighten me?

This is from submissive guide

oic

The *worst* situation like that I found myself in was after a mind-blowing 4sum...

2 large vodkas and a diazepam sorted that out.

Woke up with a smile on my face for 3 days after tho

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Enlighten me?

This is from submissive guide

oic

The *worst* situation like that I found myself in was after a mind-blowing 4sum...

2 large vodkas and a diazepam sorted that out.

Woke up with a smile on my face for 3 days after tho"

It's not just a sub thing. I find it after a vanilla sex session. It's the build up, the excitement, the energy, the endorphins, the orgasms. And then it stops quick. And I drop.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"It's not just a sub thing. I find it after a vanilla sex session. It's the build up, the excitement, the energy, the endorphins, the orgasms. And then it stops quick. And I drop.

Yes - this is what I mean too.

Not subby at all 'ere

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"It's not just a sub thing. I find it after a vanilla sex session. It's the build up, the excitement, the energy, the endorphins, the orgasms. And then it stops quick. And I drop.

Yes - this is what I mean too.

Not subby at all 'ere"

Yeah. It's a bit misleading really being called sub drop. Doms get it too. And vanillas. I'm sure most swingers have felt a smidgeon at some point.

I become a bit whingy and clingy and snippy afterwards. Which is really tough because my dom leaves the session totally hyper and fully charged ready for the next sexual adventure and I'm all blurgh.

Our aftercare helps. I find knowing when the next session will take place as I leave a session helps. He's very tolerant of my drop and sees it for what it is, sometimes when I can't. He let's my grouchy, sulking, whingy behaviour slide for a day or two. We are usually out of sync for a day after a session because he's soaring and I'm slumping.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Although the experience has to come to an end, the memories endure. There are a couple of meets that I go back to in my mind frequently.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Although the experience has to come to an end, the memories endure. There are a couple of meets that I go back to in my mind frequently. "

I quite often want to be alone after a good fuck, which can be kinda frustrating depending on the partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am dropping big style tonight after such an intense weekend it is the first time i have felt like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cucks get it too or Cuck angst. Talking helps for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get it. I have a cry and a vent and relax.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I very often get what we call a sex hangover? We don't drink alcohol but I do wake up with a major headache and very grumpy for a day or two after a sex fest.......we figured it was a late night and maybe dehydration but we may have to reconsider after reading this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get severe top drop, but never sub drop.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Cucks get it too or Cuck angst. Talking helps for me"

We debrief as part of aftercare. That's my thing. I do struggle with drop though. I can't pull myself out of it.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I find a sugary drink, snuggles and then sleep is what works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although the experience has to come to an end, the memories endure. There are a couple of meets that I go back to in my mind frequently.

I quite often want to be alone after a good fuck, which can be kinda frustrating depending on the partner."

I like round 2 usually gets me over anything I may have left out in the first round, interesting post though never heard of it before. I suppose its like sexual depression?

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"I find a sugary drink, snuggles and then sleep is what works for me."
chocolate warm drink lots of cuddles in a quiet environment usualy work well .wrapping up in a soft blanket sat on a comfy settee being cuddled and given attention .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find a sugary drink, snuggles and then sleep is what works for me.chocolate warm drink lots of cuddles in a quiet environment usualy work well .wrapping up in a soft blanket sat on a comfy settee being cuddled and given attention ."

Unfortunately that doesn't work when the drop lasts several days, or even the best part of a week sometimes.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

That's normally my aftercare. So I cuddle up and debrief. We usually have a big chunk of downtime at the end of the session. But my drop lasts into the next day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A former playmate struggled with drop and did not realise it as she drove home. After that we cuddled and spoke after each session before leaving each other.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Found there is no one size fits all answer to this.

Support and talking is important I feel, as is the possibility of low blood sugars.

What is most important is you recognise it and not (metaphorically) walk away from it, from my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Found there is no one size fits all answer to this.

Support and talking is important I feel, as is the possibility of low blood sugars.

What is most important is you recognise it and not (metaphorically) walk away from it, from my experience."

This.

Talking is a big one for me. Having a chill out time helps too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually get this. I have an immediate reaction straight after a scene that is quite easy to deal with by some time, quiet, closeness to my Dom and reassurance.

I def need a debrief as Lilac puts it too an hr or two later. Then I normally experience a drop a day or two after too which I don't really have a way to deal with and sometimes struggle to recognise what it is. Usually again just talking helps even if that talking isn't a solution just to know I can talk I guess helps.

If I spot that it's sub drop I handle it much better, it's the times when I'm down and then realise once I've pulled through that are worst as I don't help myself

Rach x

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

Xx"

I can't pull myself out of it or stop it for usually 24 hours. So I'm just kind of accepting that's me and my process. I do practical things like try and get an early night. Swimming helps me. Distraction helps. I get very hormonal and irritable. So it's helpful that my close people know I'm dropping so don't take my miserableness personally. They let me ride it out.

That's my emotional drop.

I get a physical drop too which I need sleep, heat, rest and food for.

If anyone else has any other tips, I'd appreciate it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to just stay lying on or against what I was tied to. When I regain some composure I then like to be held and always want squash/water.

A few hours later I crave more of the same but I know my body wouldn't take it and the following few days I can feel quite emotional.

I struggle to hide my emotions because my wife already things I'm stupid letting someone beat me so severely. I just concentrate on busying myself and try not to hassle my Domme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i find a bubble bath cuddles n chocolate help with my drop also childhood comfort food like hienz tomato soup while wrapped in me fav snuggle blankey on the couch watching old films soothes me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my mistress also taught me to use euphoric recall of a moment in our session that excited me most to help with my drops she told me to picture it and find her voice in my head and that really helped

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"my mistress also taught me to use euphoric recall of a moment in our session that excited me most to help with my drops she told me to picture it and find her voice in my head and that really helped

Emotional anchoring, why didn't I think of that - thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

That's my emotional drop.

I get a physical drop too which I need sleep, heat, rest and food for.

If anyone else has any other tips, I'd appreciate it. "

I throw myself into excercise usually if I'm having a particularly bad bout. Something mind-numbing like spinning, running, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

That's my emotional drop.

I get a physical drop too which I need sleep, heat, rest and food for.

If anyone else has any other tips, I'd appreciate it.

I throw myself into excercise usually if I'm having a particularly bad bout. Something mind-numbing like spinning, running, etc."

Sounds good, tunes on and out for a run.

I read a piece once saying for those who don't have a Dom/me to turn to after (or for those with top drop too I guess) then sometimes talking it through with another friend in the lifestyle can help. It's not something I've tried but I guess having someone who understands to chat to may help?

sub to sub chats for me sound like it may work...

It's the one thing I dislike, it was the first thing I made R aware of before we started playing.

I like the emotional anchoring idea. Recently R had been away for a while and I was getting pretty fed up without a sub fix. He gave me a task of just kneeling with some toys we'd used in our last session beside me and asked me to look at them and remember how we'd scened. It centered me and settled me well... who knows perhaps that would help?

Thinking out loud... can you tell?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

That's my emotional drop.

I get a physical drop too which I need sleep, heat, rest and food for.

If anyone else has any other tips, I'd appreciate it.

I throw myself into excercise usually if I'm having a particularly bad bout. Something mind-numbing like spinning, running, etc.

Sounds good, tunes on and out for a run.

sub to sub chats for me sound like it may work...

It's the one thing I dislike, it was the first thing I made R aware of before we started playing.

Thinking out loud... can you tell?

"
the emotional anchoring is so obvious (I'm still shocked I hadn't thought of that) so obvious.

Think out loud works for me.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

That's my emotional drop.

I get a physical drop too which I need sleep, heat, rest and food for.

If anyone else has any other tips, I'd appreciate it.

I throw myself into excercise usually if I'm having a particularly bad bout. Something mind-numbing like spinning, running, etc.

Sounds good, tunes on and out for a run.

sub to sub chats for me sound like it may work...

It's the one thing I dislike, it was the first thing I made R aware of before we started playing.

Thinking out loud... can you tell?

the emotional anchoring is so obvious (I'm still shocked I hadn't thought of that) so obvious.

Think out loud works for me.

Emotional anchoring works for me in other situations. If I'm stressed about something happening later in the day, then he will talk me through it and do some association stuff so I can use it.

I NEED to debrief. We do an initial one as soon as the session is over. Then a more detailed one the next day. I need that process. But then if I'm missing him or dropping, I don't want to be reminded of the scene or him. I want distraction.

This talking about it here is helping. I've not really analysed my own drop pattern before. Normally I'm just haywire and he reminds me why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a sub but can still drop after a great meet. I can handle it as long as I know what it is, then it's easier to accept as part of the process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chocolate tea & cuddles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a sub but can still drop after a great meet. I can handle it as long as I know what it is, then it's easier to accept as part of the process. "

It's really interesting that it applies across the lifestyles. I've never experienced it vanilla, or perhaps I have and just didn't realise... will have to pay more attention after a good session!

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I'm not a sub but can still drop after a great meet. I can handle it as long as I know what it is, then it's easier to accept as part of the process.

It's really interesting that it applies across the lifestyles. I've never experienced it vanilla, or perhaps I have and just didn't realise... will have to pay more attention after a good session!"

I get it from intense roleplay more nowadays. Space and drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a sub but can still drop after a great meet. I can handle it as long as I know what it is, then it's easier to accept as part of the process.

It's really interesting that it applies across the lifestyles. I've never experienced it vanilla, or perhaps I have and just didn't realise... will have to pay more attention after a good session!

I get it from intense roleplay more nowadays. Space and drop.

I subspace quite easily, give me a bit of the ritual at the start and a good environment. Bloody love it

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I'm not a sub but can still drop after a great meet. I can handle it as long as I know what it is, then it's easier to accept as part of the process.

It's really interesting that it applies across the lifestyles. I've never experienced it vanilla, or perhaps I have and just didn't realise... will have to pay more attention after a good session!

I get it from intense roleplay more nowadays. Space and drop.

I subspace quite easily, give me a bit of the ritual at the start and a good environment. Bloody love it

I find it easier. I don't know if it's because I'm further into my relationship now and my guard is finally down. Or maybe his play is just more suited than previous Doms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I drop more after intense forced pleasure then I do after pain or punishment, to the point were I have physically vomited. A good cup of sweet tea after can help me recover faster. Never had it in the vanilla world though, but then I do find it boring

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"I drop more after intense forced pleasure then I do after pain or punishment, to the point were I have physically vomited. A good cup of sweet tea after can help me recover faster. Never had it in the vanilla world though, but then I do find it boring "

Hmmm interesting. I'm trying to pinpoint my triggers now. I've had space and drop from him doing nothing more than missionary position, staying inside me. For ages. Not particularly moving. But continually giving verbal. Roleplay. And he talks and talks until I can't think straight. I'm incoherent. And then he will do some orgasm denial. And I can feel overwhelmed and start to cry. And then I'll start spacing.

I know anal tends to trigger.

I'm quite into impact play but I've never spaced from it.

Sorry, is this TMI?

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By *ILLY aka SirslagWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Prince Bishops

"Enlighten me?

This is from submissive guide

If not cared for, you could go into depression just from one play session. The endorphins and other hormones released during play leave your body in such a way that it takes time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system. You could feel like you have a hang over or partied too hard the night before, you could feel lost and depressed for hours or days. You may just want to sleep it off. These are the more extreme forms of Drop. Some people recover in a matter of hours, but others could exhibit signs of Sub Drop for weeks after an intense session.'"
thank you ......i always wonder why i feel so iffy after a session like ive got the worst hangover ever and as most of my meets are daytime by the evening im in a proper funk with myself and everyone around me ........the above has explained it beautifully xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This would explain why I get incredibly grumpy for a few days after a meet.

How do you deal with it on your own though? If you haven't got someone to snuggle and chat with after?

Xx"

that has happen a few times and found that Skype chat helped but did take longer to get back to normality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know anal tends to trigger.

I'm quite into impact play but I've never spaced from it.

Sorry, is this TMI?"

No, not at all. I've yet to experience sub space just sub drop. I know I cant really offer much help but maybe you should talk to your Dom/Top about it and maybe play/scene doing things that you know you are ok with then introduce your triggers slowly, as they sound too intense for you at the moment. Any good, decent Dom/Top should and will have your best interests as his first priority and therefore will be willing to work with you on this. He should also be bringing you back down slowly and taking care of you after pls has stopped. Apologies if this has already been said but I haven't read the entire thread

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"Only just realised what you meant. It's like any drug. When you're that high, need to learn to handle the come down"

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

I know anal tends to trigger.

I'm quite into impact play but I've never spaced from it.

Sorry, is this TMI?

He's great. He gives me what aftercare I think I need and also what aftercare he thinks I need.

I think what I'm trying to say is I thought drop might be preventable. But it's not. And I'm managing it okay but wondered if I could manage it better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know anal tends to trigger.

I'm quite into impact play but I've never spaced from it.

Sorry, is this TMI?

He's great. He gives me what aftercare I think I need and also what aftercare he thinks I need.

I think what I'm trying to say is I thought drop might be preventable. But it's not. And I'm managing it okay but wondered if I could manage it better. "

Ahh I get you now, sorry really should read threads properly before commenting lol. Wish it was preventable, being sick afterwards is no fun for me

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By *dam and slut OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

One of my greatest pleasures is when a simple question turns into a pleasure to read informative thread.

I have been in the lifestyle for many years and your input, positive comments help keep me and l hope others grounded.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

One of the frustrating things about this, from the Top perspective, is when a sub goes internal and won't explore what's happening. More so if you aren't actually together in the same place. From my perspective it appears they don't want to show weakness, which it isn't at all, in fact there is never any weakness in their behaviour at all, I'm in awe of most subs.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"One of the frustrating things about this, from the Top perspective, is when a sub goes internal and won't explore what's happening. More so if you aren't actually together in the same place. From my perspective it appears they don't want to show weakness, which it isn't at all, in fact there is never any weakness in their behaviour at all, I'm in awe of most subs.

I almost feel offended with my dom when be leaves a session wired which last for days and I'm slumped. Irrational I know, I should be pleased he feels good because of us. But then I'm not rational during drop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cuddles for reassurance and lots of water throughout

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?"

I can't work out what I need. He is open to do whatever he can. He's open to talking. We have a giant debrief. I ask the same questions over and over or want to talk about the same thing and he will go through it as many times as I need. Then I just slump. It's improved. I'm much better if I know when the next session is and have activities planned as a distraction for the next day or two.

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of my greatest pleasures is when a simple question turns into a pleasure to read informative thread.

I have been in the lifestyle for many years and your input, positive comments help keep me and l hope others grounded. "

It's a great thread.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

It's frustrating if some one goes internal and doesn't open up, (odd for a man to say). Emotional anchoring has to be the way forward, just realised i so dim not to see it before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

Do you drop different around different Doms? I'm finding my experiences now different to with my previous Master and I'm not sure why.

I'm in a far better relationship this time in terms of how well R knows me, our trust, our compatibility. Perhaps this diff dynamic better supports me for less of a drop?

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

Do you drop different around different Doms? I'm finding my experiences now different to with my previous Master and I'm not sure why.

I'm in a far better relationship this time in terms of how well R knows me, our trust, our compatibility. Perhaps this diff dynamic better supports me for less of a drop? "

I only physically drop from play sessions with additional doms/Dommes. It's usually been an impact session so I feel drained, flu like, cold, headache. That's usually all fixable by rest.

With my dom, it's the whole thing. I think it's because in playing more intensely. I fully let go with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

Do you drop different around different Doms? I'm finding my experiences now different to with my previous Master and I'm not sure why.

I'm in a far better relationship this time in terms of how well R knows me, our trust, our compatibility. Perhaps this diff dynamic better supports me for less of a drop?

I only physically drop from play sessions with additional doms/Dommes. It's usually been an impact session so I feel drained, flu like, cold, headache. That's usually all fixable by rest.

With my dom, it's the whole thing. I think it's because in playing more intensely. I fully let go with him. "

Ergh got the physical drop today and I'm at work

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Do you want to actually talk?

Or need something more physical?

I feel like he soars and leaves me behind. He's all hyper and happy and horny and I'm just a moody difficult brat.

Do you drop different around different Doms? I'm finding my experiences now different to with my previous Master and I'm not sure why.

I'm in a far better relationship this time in terms of how well R knows me, our trust, our compatibility. Perhaps this diff dynamic better supports me for less of a drop?

I only physically drop from play sessions with additional doms/Dommes. It's usually been an impact session so I feel drained, flu like, cold, headache. That's usually all fixable by rest.

With my dom, it's the whole thing. I think it's because in playing more intensely. I fully let go with him.

Ergh got the physical drop today and I'm at work

Oh no. Hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of my greatest pleasures is when a simple question turns into a pleasure to read informative thread.

I have been in the lifestyle for many years and your input, positive comments help keep me and l hope others grounded. "

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I have experienced it. I usually find that sugar helps. Soft drinks or chocolate. Blankets help with the shivers. As for the emotional drop, that usually comes the next day for me if I get it. Ideally having them there for a hug helps. If not then it's happy films and snacks and a few messages or even a phone call to check in is appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

crikey I finally get an answer to my problem (well one of them)....

Glad I read this thread now!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I’ve had this too!

I know about aftercare when someone has been in sub space but I didn’t realise I could get it too from filthy vanilla

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Quite a few people experience it. Have you and if you have, what do you do to ease it."

Cuddles and praise for the little darling, food and staying warm too. Good aftercare prevents bad drops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get this too . I tend to cry. I find a cuddle and chocolate helps x

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