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Why do toasters go up to 5?

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)

When anything above 2 it cremates you bread and sets off the smoke alarm?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches "

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it "

Just send your woman....

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"When anything above 2 it cremates you bread and sets off the smoke alarm? "

Doh! Set it to 2 then - bloody hell - rocket science! Just because you like nice toast doesn't mean that you should stop people from eating charcoal! Z

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... "
oh thou art so bwave..

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave.. "

lol - sorry - just spit on my lap top! Z

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave.. "

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite please

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite please"
coming right up oh lord n master

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite pleasecoming right up oh lord n master "

As Bob Marley would say.....Wijamon

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"oh thou art so bwave.. "

*waves at Femme from 100 miles away*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but don't forget, just putting the toaster on it's side does not guarantee good cheese on toast!!

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite pleasecoming right up oh lord n master "

Femme - I got some sensible winter boots last week - fur lined - thick soles with a good tread and 5" heels - you should be proud of me! S lol Z xx

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite pleasecoming right up oh lord n master

Femme - I got some sensible winter boots last week - fur lined - thick soles with a good tread and 5" heels - you should be proud of me! S lol Z xx"
sound fab....psssssssssst i bought new ones too, but dont say owt

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)

CRUMPET!.........that goes up to 5!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite pleasecoming right up oh lord n master

Femme - I got some sensible winter boots last week - fur lined - thick soles with a good tread and 5" heels - you should be proud of me! S lol Z xxsound fab....psssssssssst i bought new ones too, but dont say owt "

Oh i got some more to but...but...

No heels in case it snows.

Dont wanna be doing a torvill and dean up the fooking road

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"You're cooking it wrong.

First problem - stay out of the kitchen. It is the place where witchcraft takes place and should therefore be left to witches

I know but the toaster is in there and so is the butter! I am not asking for the earth! I didn't ask for jam on it

Just send your woman.... oh thou art so bwave..

2 slices, mid brown, butter and marmite pleasecoming right up oh lord n master

Femme - I got some sensible winter boots last week - fur lined - thick soles with a good tread and 5" heels - you should be proud of me! S lol Z xxsound fab....psssssssssst i bought new ones too, but dont say owt

Oh i got some more to but...but...

No heels in case it snows.

Dont wanna be doing a torvill and dean up the fooking road "
bet you look fab in a bolero outfit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmao

trouble is...the neighbours are crap at scoring ...I only ever get 2s and 3s ..

If its summat more elaborate like me skating in between two cars or just missing one they give me 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lmao

trouble is...the neighbours are crap at scoring ...I only ever get 2s and 3s ..

If its summat more elaborate like me skating in between two cars or just missing one they give me 5 "

bet i know what you get a 6 for though!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When anything above 2 it cremates you bread and sets off the smoke alarm? "

too thick. get a more flexibubble one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"CRUMPET!.........that goes up to 5!

"

I thought nobody was going to say 'crumpets'. They gotte be cremated to make them edible else it's just like eating dough that's just been kneaded.

The perfect crumpet is toasted well and then buttered immediately, served 3 on a plate by your partner/wife/fb who is dressed as spartan as possible who then lays on the floor with her legs wide open playing with herself while she waits for you to complete your meal.

Why else would they be called 'crumpets'.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I have a limited edition Spinal Tap toaster. #

It goes up to 11...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"I have a limited edition Spinal Tap toaster. #

It goes up to 11..."

For when you want your toast "one burnt-er"

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I have a limited edition Spinal Tap toaster. #

It goes up to 11...

For when you want your toast "one burnt-er""

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

[Removed by poster at 10/11/10 08:33:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do crumpets on 5, anything less and they're never cooked right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do crumpets on 5, anything less and they're never cooked right! "

we just do crumpet as it comes

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"CRUMPET!.........that goes up to 5!

I thought nobody was going to say 'crumpets'. They gotte be cremated to make them edible else it's just like eating dough that's just been kneaded.

The perfect crumpet is toasted well and then buttered immediately, served 3 on a plate by your partner/wife/fb who is dressed as spartan as possible who then lays on the floor with her legs wide open playing with herself while she waits for you to complete your meal.

Why else would they be called 'crumpets'. "

Nope! I looked and looked, can't see the word "Marmite" in your post at all! Crumpets and Marmite are the law!!

(Plus try this... Peanut butter and branston pickle on crumpets, marmite optional on that one! )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More to the point ....

Why does is a normal slice of bread always too big for a bog standard toaster ?

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire


"More to the point ....

Why does is a normal slice of bread always too big for a bog standard toaster ? "

Warburtons you would have thought that with over 100 years baking experience they would make bread that fits in the fecking toaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or at least the society of toaster and grill manufacturers could get their heads together with the guild of bread makers and master bakers to agree on a standard size for one or the other

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest

I would just like to point out that if you spread vegetable oil onto bread and put it into a toaster in the hopes of making fried bread - it doesn't work. It took nearly 3 months for my eyebrows to grow back.

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By *uss PussWoman
over a year ago

east cheshire

You can do cheese toasties in the toaster if you use a toastit bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also.....why do hoovers have varible suction...???

Would you hoover using anything but max power?

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By *oDownEasyMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"also.....why do hoovers have varible suction...???

Would you hoover using anything but max power? "

For SOME of the things that people use hoovers for, you probably want it to be VERY gentle!

Err, so Ive heard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More to the point ....

Why does is a normal slice of bread always too big for a bog standard toaster ? "

So true!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"More to the point ....

Why does is a normal slice of bread always too big for a bog standard toaster ?

Warburtons you would have thought that with over 100 years baking experience they would make bread that fits in the fecking toaster "

The only bread I buy lol I'm a bit of a carb freak it has to be said, bread, pasta, crumpets lol, that's my diet

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I microwave my toast it's quicker and you avoid it going brown and crispy.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

It's something to do with quantum physics I believe...

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"I microwave my toast it's quicker and you avoid it going brown and crispy."

I am surprised it doesn't catch fire! How many minutes per slice???

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Toasters going up to 5!!!!

It's disgusting, when I was younger there were only toaster that went up to 4 and we managed to survive, what's the country coming too!!

It's the IMMIGRANTS fault! Coming over here and making all our toasters go up to 5! Society is falling part and the toaster is merely the beginning mark my words!!!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I microwave my toast it's quicker and you avoid it going brown and crispy.

I am surprised it doesn't catch fire! How many minutes per slice??? "

LOL I keep to about 40 seconds a slice, that usually gets it nice and sweaty.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I would just like to point out that if you spread vegetable oil onto bread and put it into a toaster in the hopes of making fried bread - it doesn't work. It took nearly 3 months for my eyebrows to grow back."

lmao

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

Throw your toaster in the bin and get a log burner. You`ll never be able to keep your hand in front of the open doors for long enough to burn the bread!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Who knew a thread on why a toaster has 5 settings would get over 40 posts!

Genius thread making by the big un!

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By *ig bad OP   Man
over a year ago

Up North :-)


"Throw your toaster in the bin and get a log burner. You`ll never be able to keep your hand in front of the open doors for long enough to burn the bread! "

Mi mum had a couple of log grates and i love to toast current teacakes on a toasting fork (Yes there ate actually such things youngsters) The only bad thing is sometimes it drops off the fork into the flames

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Salad cream on one sided toast - hhhmmmmmmmmm.

And before anyone asks - no, i am not pregnant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Salad cream on one sided toast - hhhmmmmmmmmm.

And before anyone asks - no, i am not pregnant! "

Ah, you must be due on then.

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!


"Throw your toaster in the bin and get a log burner. You`ll never be able to keep your hand in front of the open doors for long enough to burn the bread!

Mi mum had a couple of log grates and i love to toast current teacakes on a toasting fork (Yes there ate actually such things youngsters) The only bad thing is sometimes it drops off the fork into the flames "

A bit of charcoal on the bread isn`t a bad thing! Good for the digestion system! Another good thing is to put your pierced skin chestnuts on the top of the log burner and roast them! I`ve also wrapped the odd potato in kitchen foil and thrown it in! So much more moist than doing them in the oven!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got new toaster yesterday in tesco - £9.87 - awesome. After 2 and 1/2 mins nicely browned. But for some reason it goes all way up to 7 mins!!!

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