FabSwingers.com forum: When you feel like your sexiness has gone

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you do to get it back? Just coming through the end of a relationship break up a couple of months ago and feel very unattractive becuase of it. Some days I am ok, others I just feel I must be so ugly and unwanted.

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*big hugs*

we've all been there! you'll come out the other side happy and sexually satisfied

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

A couple of months is not long , it will take time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

get a hotdog and a

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I split from my wife I thought I would never kiss cuddle have sex with another lady again. Time is a great healer xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got bored of sex in ocktober 2014, since then I aint felt nothing for it, gues as I stepped up my training regime or just might be to lazy for sex lol. Big hugs op x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly men can get the best of us and leave us with poor self esteem!

I'm a big girl but I'm neither ugly or unwanted! Take a break off fab and men for a month or so and re find you! I did it not so long ago, similar thing, felt like crap!

I'm now back to me! Confident and carefree, if a nice guy comes my way, great, for now I like hassle free fun! Best of luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps "

You have Evie though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can all haveh hours, days , weeks, months or even years feeling like that .. sometimes it's because of a break up and in some ways that's the one people understand ...

But it can happen at any time... And the thing is the only person that can really pull you out of this is yourself.

Find small things that you can be positive about ... Find cheap ways to treat yourself. And most of all.. learn to love yourself and your sexiness willo come back. X

Time is your friend x

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"What do you do to get it back? Just coming through the end of a relationship break up a couple of months ago and feel very unattractive becuase of it. Some days I am ok, others I just feel I must be so ugly and unwanted.

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

Everyone feels that way sometimes..after a breakup all emotions are heightened.

I quite like sleeping alone and having my own space and Id never have thought that before.

I used to put Comedy Central on to cheer me up..oh and chocolate cake

Hope you feel happier/sexier soon x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I split from my wife I thought I would never kiss cuddle have sex with another lady again. Time is a great healer xx"

Its not that I think i wont have those things again, just i miss that closeness I guess xx I find having sex theraputic, its the connection and company more maybe. Oh I dont know Ive confused myself lol. Maybe I just need some bloody chocolate lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very often have.days like that its not always easy to pick yourself up. Good luck op hope you feel better soon.xx

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

Get yourself into the chat rooms and learn to laugh again.

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Oh honey it took me ages!!! I lost loads of weight, reached my target & found out my husband was having an affair with a lady bigger than me. We'd been together nearly 20 years, I'd lost my virginity to him & was distraught. I'd never dated anyone else let alone had sex with anyone. I felt unwanted, unloved & very unsexy. It's taken me 3 years to fully regain any sort of body/sexual confidence (and I still have a long way to go).

Take your time, you'll get there when least expected xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

"
You have a lady and 3 good features ? Shit now I feel worse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

Get yourself into the chat rooms and learn to laugh again."

I have done this hunni and that helps, i do find some of the rooms great for boosting confidence, feeling wanted and just generally having a laugh xx And I am meeting people, but thats because I am craving contact and intimacy to make me feel wanted. Oh god I do sound selfish, shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

It's about how he feels about himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers. "

No problem x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

"
welcome to my world. Very sorry to hear that tho xx chin up xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers. "

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something as silly as a hotel room with too many mirrors and unflattering light did it for me.

Blerghh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story."

I wasn't slating him , I just didn't get that he could feel like that when he has a girlfriend. I have apologised to him and he has accepted.

As for you if I don't know whole story I can only post on what I read. It's not my fault if people only give half a story is it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story."

Errrm me??? Im not sure I have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

Errrm me??? Im not sure I have

No not you , it was about me

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

When I was at my lowest I surrounded myself with my nearest and dearest and lived my life for me , and day by day it got better and better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

I wasn't slating him , I just didn't get that he could feel like that when he has a girlfriend. I have apologised to him and he has accepted.

As for you if I don't know whole story I can only post on what I read. It's not my fault if people only give half a story is it "

It is your fault if you post when you haven't bothered to read the whole thread to get the whole story. You're so quick to have a go but won't accept when you are in the wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

Errrm me??? Im not sure I have

No, not you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

I wasn't slating him , I just didn't get that he could feel like that when he has a girlfriend. I have apologised to him and he has accepted.

As for you if I don't know whole story I can only post on what I read. It's not my fault if people only give half a story is it

It is your fault if you post when you haven't bothered to read the whole thread to get the whole story. You're so quick to have a go but won't accept when you are in the wrong."

No you are right , I didn't apologise to letsbe earlier , thank you for pointing that out to me. Have a lovely evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes if my beard doesn't shape up nicely, I feel ugly as shit. Honest. Ruins my day if it doesn't get straight or has odd bits sticking out here and there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy."

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

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By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

Fear not madam, i have perused your photographs, and can conclude that you have a shapely bosom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything""

On these forums, even when you say something nice you run the risk of the forum pack giving you grief

OP I hope you feel better soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

No it doesn't , sorry I should have engaged brain before fingers.

For someone who always slates posts about digs about un-named people, you are very quick to have a go at named people on the forums.

You've done it to me twice, and it was uncalled for then too because you didn't know the whole story.

I wasn't slating him , I just didn't get that he could feel like that when he has a girlfriend. I have apologised to him and he has accepted.

As for you if I don't know whole story I can only post on what I read. It's not my fault if people only give half a story is it

It is your fault if you post when you haven't bothered to read the whole thread to get the whole story. You're so quick to have a go but won't accept when you are in the wrong."

Ladies there's only one way to settle this....

I'll go get the baked beans and Paddling pool

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

We all have moments like that, big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time ....that's all it takes.Everyone as been there,some are still there I've got that self confidence than going on atm so treat myself to a manicure N going to do my hair later.Just small steps can make a huge difference. .hope you feel better about it all soon...virtual Hugglesxx

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Someone once said to me "falling down is part of life..... Getting back up is living.."

Sometimes it a while before we get back up ... Hopefully you'll be feeling better soon.

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By *andy6677Man
over a year ago

crewe

I know what your probably thinking, get a grip woman. But after a tough day at work, coming home to no one and no hug and no cuddle in bed, is a bit yuksville.

Lovepuppies feeling sorry for herself.

Get yourself into the chat rooms and learn to laugh again.

Your not selfish or ugly get those thoughts out of your head right now xxx Ive been single over 12 years and was starting to think i would never find a partner but ive met a woman recently that has rocked my world xxx As people we all crave closeness and companionship and find a soulmate xxx Its harder for those who have been in relationships and not been single for a while than someone whos been single for a longtime like me xxx Dont give up love will find you again xxx In the meantime have fun xxx Chin up xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

It's about how he feels about himself."

Id take a break.from here.... Fund your confidence in a non sexual way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* find

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy."

Pot.. Kettle...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Noticing when you're starting with criticise yourself is useful, so that you can stop yourself. You will be harmed by adding insult to injury. Immediately do something different and curtail the criticism.

Rebuilding your self esteem needs to be your focus, alongside caring and loving yourself. Structure your life so it goes easy on you - there are more than enough ways its hard now, so find some ways to lighten it.

Spend time with people who are good for you, as regularly as possible. Choose things to do that will uplift you or give you an outward focus. Spend time around nature, open spaces, woodland etc.

As others say, exercise is good for you too.

Pamper yourself with regular treats, whether massages or what works for you.

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By *BW100Couple
over a year ago

Suffolk/Norfolk border

I came out of a sexless marriage, no sex for 12 years & at the same time moved somewhere new, this is what got me into swinging for the social side as well as the sex, I went to a club on my own just so I could be around people & chat and it worked, great sex & great company and my confidence was boosted in no time. Life starts here, enjoy it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been going through a bit of a tough spell, I also feel that way. I often look at myself in a mirror and ask how anyone could find me attractive.

When I'm in those moods I have to force myself to get out an exercise. I often take time to dress smartly and stand in front of the mirror,I then force myself to pick 3 good features. It helps

You have Evie though

Yes but it doesn't stop people feeling that way.

You have a lady and 3 good features ? Shit now I feel worse

You have a ton of good features, and several ladies who enjoy your visits...

I find it difficult, as a single mum for the last 3 yrs, I'v learnt to enjoy all the perks of living alone, but do have spells where I can't figure out what anybody would see in me. And miss snuggles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything""

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip."

You completely missed the point of the post. Not all attention is wanted, or makes women feel good. 'cheer up' wow, that's so helpful, gee, next time I have a bad spell I'll remember that useful little gem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

That's why I said it could be worse, you could be a man, because when we're feeling down, where do we go to get attention to make ourselves feel better? That's right, we get absolutely none.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

That's why I said it could be worse, you could be a man, because when we're feeling down, where do we go to get attention to make ourselves feel better? That's right, we get absolutely none."

You mean you don't get messages on here? For most of us this is a small part of our lives. Feeling low, and logging on to messages from guys who are nothing like what I'm looking for, but thought they'd message anyway, isn't a nice feeling, being made to feel like a piece of meet, just somewhere to stick it, is not something that's going to make me feel better. Just worse. Not all attention is nice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

That's why I said it could be worse, you could be a man, because when we're feeling down, where do we go to get attention to make ourselves feel better? That's right, we get absolutely none.

Yeah, and what about all the men (and women for that matter) who constantly tell you you're beautiful when you upload a new face picture on Facebook? That has nothing to do with sleaze and it's a quick, easy pick-me-up that's reliable. If men feel ugly, who's there to tell us we're attractive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I split from my wife I thought I would never kiss cuddle have sex with another lady again. Time is a great healer xx

I know exactly how you feel, big hugs. My tactic for getting round these feelings of heart ache is to rationalize them as only feelings, and if I try hard/am not antagonized by the ex, I am capable of putting it to one side and carrying on. Being busy helps, and also flirting with new people :p the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else :p good luck and remember: this too shall pass xx

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

That's why I said it could be worse, you could be a man, because when we're feeling down, where do we go to get attention to make ourselves feel better? That's right, we get absolutely none.

I tell my male friends that they are attractive when needed. I tell them they arboreal guys and have thinhs to offer. Maybe you need better friends lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're a woman, it's almost impossible to go five minutes without male attention. Cheer up, could be worse, you could be a guy.

That's uncalled for and not in the least bit helpful

didn't your mother ever tell you "if you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything"

What the...? "Uncalled for"? By 'eck, you're a sensitive bunch on here, aren't you? It's not like I even said anything horrible, I said cheer up at the end. Get a grip.

That's why I said it could be worse, you could be a man, because when we're feeling down, where do we go to get attention to make ourselves feel better? That's right, we get absolutely none.

I tell my male friends that they are attractive when needed. I tell them they arboreal guys and have thinhs to offer. Maybe you need better friends lol "

My fb photo is my cat. So yeah, lots of comments on how handsome he is. I don't look to social media to boost myself up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow

I have just logged in and thought I would check if this post got any more responses!!!

Can I thank ALL of you, even the ones who started to get maybe a tad aggitated with each other on advice given or not given lol. Hugs to you all x

I think I kind of knew I would get some lovely messages because in my experience most people on fabs are just lovely at heart. Some maybe a bit more horny, some very naughty, some a bit rude but all in all I am gennuinly touched and thank you xx

A special 'your gorgeous' to the guy who said waht about us men when we are feeling low lol. Hugs to you too Mr xx

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