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"What on earth possessed her to have sex with someone who was 'blind d*unk'?" How is that relevant? Do you attack people when you're blind d*unk? | |||
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"Totally agree amyfarrahfowler. Just because it happens during sex, it doesn't mean anything is acceptable. Some men don't know when to stop. This is what disturbs me about all the Mr Grey wannabes. Suddenly it's ok to find beating a woman sexually exciting. C. xxx" I agree with this! Unless the person is willing (not scared willing) it shouldn't happen! | |||
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"What on earth possessed her to have sex with someone who was 'blind d*unk'?" She had an on off relationship with him. It wasn't the first time they'd had sex. I'm sure my husband and I have had "blind d*unk" sex more than once. Blind d*unk sex is usually giggly and silly and fun. Not violent. Don't blame her. He did something wrong. She didn't. | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities?" How can you possibly feel sorry for a d*unken, violent thug? If it's non-consensual it's assault. | |||
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"What on earth possessed her to have sex with someone who was 'blind d*unk'? She had an on off relationship with him. It wasn't the first time they'd had sex. I'm sure my husband and I have had "blind d*unk" sex more than once. Blind d*unk sex is usually giggly and silly and fun. Not violent. Don't blame her. He did something wrong. She didn't. " This  | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities? How can you possibly feel sorry for a d*unken, violent thug? If it's non-consensual it's assault." I'm sure this thread is going to land the OP loads of meets.  | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities? How can you possibly feel sorry for a d*unken, violent thug? If it's non-consensual it's assault. I'm sure this thread is going to land the OP loads of meets. "I've got a horrible feeling you're right.... | |||
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"Oh dear Shrewsmale, I have a feeling this could go horribly wrong for you "I'm not so concerned about it going 'wrong'. I know such a post would cause a stir as its an area of debate. My concern is the safety of such a conviction. | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. " Because it happens behind closed doors, must everyone turn a blind eye? Until you've been in a threatening abusive relationship, it's easy to have your particular viewpoint. Xxxx | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. " So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. | |||
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"What on earth possessed her to have sex with someone who was 'blind d*unk'? How is that relevant? Do you attack people when you're blind d*unk? " No. But then I don't attack someone when I'm sober. As it happens - when I get d*unk (which I don't these days) - I get very quiet. When someone is blind d*unk - it should be plainly obvious that their sense of where boundaries should exist is distorted. I have no idea from the article of their sexual dynamics. I have bitten someone in the past because I knew that turned her on - and I've left more of a mark that was expected. We risk reverting to vanilla sex in fear of being hauled to court for any mark we might leave in the future  | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities? How can you possibly feel sorry for a d*unken, violent thug? If it's non-consensual it's assault. I'm sure this thread is going to land the OP loads of meets. "Having sympathy for someone can be distinguished from endorsing their behaviour. At no point do I endorse it. I have very little interest in meeting anybody who cannot distinguish between the two. | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault." Well said, my main man! Xxx | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault." Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question" My friend likes 'rougher sex' more that I do. I try to please her without doing something I'm uncomfortable with. The first time she said stop - I did. And I got a very frost reaction. I've learned to recognise when 'stop' means 'stop' and not 'carry on a bit more'... I try to err on the side of caution. If I'd been drinking - I'm not sure I'd know when that point had occurred. It's sometimes a very fine line | |||
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"If you go too far and inflict injury on someone you pay the price and hopefully learn a lesson from it. This is why I don't have d*unken sex. " Quite. And drink impairs my 'performance' - that's why I never drink before or during sex. | |||
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"This is what safewords are for. 'Stop' is confusing, as it's often just part of the theatre for some women. Something silly like 'pedalbin' or 'bubblegum' usually has a better effect! Xxxx" Yeah I'm pretty sure shouting at bubblegum would pretty much kill the moment. The term 'No' should certainly not be used | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question" At what point? I have no idea. The fact he's been charged and convicted pretty much says that at some point she must have said no though. This case is kinda close to my heart. There's a lad that I know of that was accused by several past partners of doing very similar things, the police did nothing. He then went on to rape someone very close to me. The victim was put through absolute hell trying to prove what happened, he was politely interviewed and then released. His following Facebook updates went on to name the victim and give her all manner of abuse (egged on by his friends). After little investigation he wasn't charged and his victim is now a virtual recluse, afraid to go out for fear of bumping into him or one of his friends. So excuse my not agreeing with your sympathy. | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities?" I have no sympathy whatsoever . Biting someone is completely unacceptable.I fail to see how you can even attempt to justify it. | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities? How can you possibly feel sorry for a d*unken, violent thug? If it's non-consensual it's assault. I'm sure this thread is going to land the OP loads of meets.
Having sympathy for someone can be distinguished from endorsing their behaviour. At no point do I endorse it.
I have very little interest in meeting anybody who cannot distinguish between the two. "If you say that you feel sorry for him , you certainly do not appear to be condemning his behaviour which is that of a d*unken yob. Violence is never acceptable . | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question My friend likes 'rougher sex' more that I do. I try to please her without doing something I'm uncomfortable with. The first time she said stop - I did. And I got a very frost reaction. I've learned to recognise when 'stop' means 'stop' and not 'carry on a bit more'... I try to err on the side of caution. If I'd been drinking - I'm not sure I'd know when that point had occurred. It's sometimes a very fine line "Alcohol and sex don't always mix well. As you said you can't determine when you have crossed the line and had so much you lose your rational thinking. She may be partly to blame for not being a responsible person and saying we're too d*unk,but she may have crossed the line too. | |||
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"The law on assault is somewhat complicated. There are only certain situations where you can be taken to having consented to it. Mostly those involving sport, boxing, football and so on. Sexually, the leading case is R v Brown This was BDSM sex, with full consent given, but it was still deemed to be a case of assault. This case is 20 years old or so and would probably be decided differently now, but is still good law. " R V Brown was, as I understand it, quite close to my home town. I think it only come to light as they recorded it and returned the wrong video to a video shop of sorts. I might be wrong. I'm not so sure it would be decided differently today. Whilst admittedly society has changed and far more people consider rough sex the norm, or at least far people know about it due to porn, I still think it would be ruled that you cannot consent to certain things. If you could consent do anything happening to you, it would be a very dangerous precedent. | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question At what point? I have no idea. The fact he's been charged and convicted pretty much says that at some point she must have said no though. This case is kinda close to my heart. There's a lad that I know of that was accused by several past partners of doing very similar things, the police did nothing. He then went on to rape someone very close to me. The victim was put through absolute hell trying to prove what happened, he was politely interviewed and then released. His following Facebook updates went on to name the victim and give her all manner of abuse (egged on by his friends). After little investigation he wasn't charged and his victim is now a virtual recluse, afraid to go out for fear of bumping into him or one of his friends. So excuse my not agreeing with your sympathy." Whilst I have sympathy for what you have gone through with your friends circs, to assume she has said no is incorrect. This sort of leads me onto my point. Maybe I haven't expressed myself clearly enough and should have refrained from suggesting I was sympathetic towards him. The point in all of this which concerns me is that it is not clear that she did say no and that he continued. What happens if next week one of us bites our partner in the heat of the moment or spanks him/her and they don't like it, where do we go from there? As per someone else's post, its a thin line | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities? I have no sympathy whatsoever . Biting someone is completely unacceptable.I fail to see how you can even attempt to justify it." Biting someone is completely unacceptable? What if you engaging in rough sex? Its not as black and white as you suggest I am afraid | |||
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"Regardless of alcohol people should know how to treat another human being. Assault is assault." But what about those that like being choked, slapped, bitten durin sex? X it becomes a bit cloudy and him being d*unk meant that he was clumsy with it x ( she states he picked her up and bumped her head) Btw I think they were both silly to have d*unken sex.. And it's a harsh lesson. | |||
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"Totally agree amyfarrahfowler. Just because it happens during sex, it doesn't mean anything is acceptable. Some men don't know when to stop. This is what disturbs me about all the Mr Grey wannabes. Suddenly it's ok to find beating a woman sexually exciting. C. xxx" I enjoy inflicting pain on my wife, however You have to be aware of limits, how far you can push people. I don't see how you can do anything that requires such levels of trust whilst d*unk. | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question At what point? I have no idea. The fact he's been charged and convicted pretty much says that at some point she must have said no though. This case is kinda close to my heart. There's a lad that I know of that was accused by several past partners of doing very similar things, the police did nothing. He then went on to rape someone very close to me. The victim was put through absolute hell trying to prove what happened, he was politely interviewed and then released. His following Facebook updates went on to name the victim and give her all manner of abuse (egged on by his friends). After little investigation he wasn't charged and his victim is now a virtual recluse, afraid to go out for fear of bumping into him or one of his friends. So excuse my not agreeing with your sympathy. Whilst I have sympathy for what you have gone through with your friends circs, to assume she has said no is incorrect. This sort of leads me onto my point. Maybe I haven't expressed myself clearly enough and should have refrained from suggesting I was sympathetic towards him. The point in all of this which concerns me is that it is not clear that she did say no and that he continued. What happens if next week one of us bites our partner in the heat of the moment or spanks him/her and they don't like it, where do we go from there? As per someone else's post, its a thin line" If it's consensual - fine. I have zero issues with rough sex, I enjoy it on occasion. If it's in the heat of the moment and the biter is apologetic or whatever then that's acceptable as long as it's an isolated incident. To openly laugh at the other person's distress is abusive. These kinds of cases are difficult to prove and the police only go after those who they're confident that they have enough evidence to correctly convict. | |||
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"If you're playing in a manner that requires safe words then surely BOTH people should be clever enough not to do it while intoxicated. This isn't the first case where this has happened and it won't be the last. I absolutely agree that no means no in any situation, but at the same time, believe that we are ALL responsible for our own actions and the decisions we take." Agreed. It sounds like a complicated case, as these things often are. | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question At what point? I have no idea. The fact he's been charged and convicted pretty much says that at some point she must have said no though. This case is kinda close to my heart. There's a lad that I know of that was accused by several past partners of doing very similar things, the police did nothing. He then went on to rape someone very close to me. The victim was put through absolute hell trying to prove what happened, he was politely interviewed and then released. His following Facebook updates went on to name the victim and give her all manner of abuse (egged on by his friends). After little investigation he wasn't charged and his victim is now a virtual recluse, afraid to go out for fear of bumping into him or one of his friends. So excuse my not agreeing with your sympathy. Whilst I have sympathy for what you have gone through with your friends circs, to assume she has said no is incorrect. This sort of leads me onto my point. Maybe I haven't expressed myself clearly enough and should have refrained from suggesting I was sympathetic towards him. The point in all of this which concerns me is that it is not clear that she did say no and that he continued. What happens if next week one of us bites our partner in the heat of the moment or spanks him/her and they don't like it, where do we go from there? As per someone else's post, its a thin line If it's consensual - fine. I have zero issues with rough sex, I enjoy it on occasion. If it's in the heat of the moment and the biter is apologetic or whatever then that's acceptable as long as it's an isolated incident. To openly laugh at the other person's distress is abusive. These kinds of cases are difficult to prove and the police only go after those who they're confident that they have enough evidence to correctly convict." I take on board your point that laughing in such circs is disgusting. In my personal opinion, and again without knowing all the facts, I do think the Police/CPS went out on a limb with this one a bit but they secured a conviction. I am just fearful of the precedent it sets for other cases | |||
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"Yeah I do. She knew he was blind d*unk. When she said no, he then stopped. It was his evidence rough sex had been part of their previous relationship. When they stopped the first time she then went back to bed with him. None of us know all the facts, admittedly, but at what point in sex do we draw out all the rules and say yes to this and no that, we don't, well not unless you are on hear. Convictions of this nature are dangerous. From what has been printed, it was not expressly clear prior to him doing the acts she was not comfortable with them. So he should only have been convicted after he'd done it to a few other women then? Regardless of previous history no still means no. I'll say again, if it's non-consensual it's assault. Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question At what point? I have no idea. The fact he's been charged and convicted pretty much says that at some point she must have said no though. This case is kinda close to my heart. There's a lad that I know of that was accused by several past partners of doing very similar things, the police did nothing. He then went on to rape someone very close to me. The victim was put through absolute hell trying to prove what happened, he was politely interviewed and then released. His following Facebook updates went on to name the victim and give her all manner of abuse (egged on by his friends). After little investigation he wasn't charged and his victim is now a virtual recluse, afraid to go out for fear of bumping into him or one of his friends. So excuse my not agreeing with your sympathy. Whilst I have sympathy for what you have gone through with your friends circs, to assume she has said no is incorrect. This sort of leads me onto my point. Maybe I haven't expressed myself clearly enough and should have refrained from suggesting I was sympathetic towards him. The point in all of this which concerns me is that it is not clear that she did say no and that he continued. What happens if next week one of us bites our partner in the heat of the moment or spanks him/her and they don't like it, where do we go from there? As per someone else's post, its a thin line If it's consensual - fine. I have zero issues with rough sex, I enjoy it on occasion. If it's in the heat of the moment and the biter is apologetic or whatever then that's acceptable as long as it's an isolated incident. To openly laugh at the other person's distress is abusive. These kinds of cases are difficult to prove and the police only go after those who they're confident that they have enough evidence to correctly convict. I take on board your point that laughing in such circs is disgusting. In my personal opinion, and again without knowing all the facts, I do think the Police/CPS went out on a limb with this one a bit but they secured a conviction. I am just fearful of the precedent it sets for other cases " As in implications for S&M/BDSM that kind of thing? That kind of scenario would definitely muddy the waters. Proving consent would be considerably more difficult. | |||
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"This case aside as I don't know the story but a d*unk woman is not deemed fit to make a decision about sex(badly worded but I'm brain tired). A d*unk man can be accused of assault if he's not aware of it? How does a court decide how d*unk a person is and what they are capable of. It's a mine field of grey area." This is the only reason I feel slightly sorry for him... | |||
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"Oh dear Shrewsmale, I have a feeling this could go horribly wrong for you
I'm not so concerned about it going 'wrong'. I know such a post would cause a stir as its an area of debate.
My concern is the safety of such a conviction. "He is an architect of his own misfortune . Had he stayed sober , this would not have happened . | |||
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"In the UK you can't consent to Actual Bodily Harm. See the case "R v Brown, 1993" and associated discussions if you would like the facts. If you want a nice moan about stuff, carry on as you were "Don't get me started on that one lol.. I like to have marks that I can look at and feel for days... But the law could take a dim view of it... | |||
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" As in implications for S&M/BDSM that kind of thing? That kind of scenario would definitely muddy the waters. Proving consent would be considerably more difficult. " I've cut most of the quote, sorry it was getting far too long. Yeah basically BDSM and S/M scene. But additionally, what happens in a scenario where someone bites there partner? People cannot tell me it isn't common. Or spanking? what happens where someone gets over excited and is a bit too firm? I don't think there is a big difference between the scenarios I describe and what happened here. Or more to the point, I don't think the Court would distinguish them and that is my concern | |||
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"This case aside as I don't know the story but a d*unk woman is not deemed fit to make a decision about sex(badly worded but I'm brain tired). A d*unk man can be accused of assault if he's not aware of it? How does a court decide how d*unk a person is and what they are capable of. It's a mine field of grey area. This is the only reason I feel slightly sorry for him... " If we were to excuse non consensual rough sex because of being d*unk, should we then excuse d*unks who injure or kill people in fights or getting behind the wheel? Assault is assault whatever and wherever the situation.. | |||
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" As in implications for S&M/BDSM that kind of thing? That kind of scenario would definitely muddy the waters. Proving consent would be considerably more difficult. I've cut most of the quote, sorry it was getting far too long. Yeah basically BDSM and S/M scene. But additionally, what happens in a scenario where someone bites there partner? People cannot tell me it isn't common. Or spanking? what happens where someone gets over excited and is a bit too firm? I don't think there is a big difference between the scenarios I describe and what happened here. Or more to the point, I don't think the Court would distinguish them and that is my concern" It's down to the definitions of both consent (minefield) and actual bodily harm, which is defined more clearly, but obviously has grey areas. | |||
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"Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question" I'd say making someone run to the bathroom in floods of tears, then convincing them to come out by promising not to hurt them again should count as "no" wouldn't it? But surely it matters not, I think we're meant to be teaching our young men that consent means someone saying "yes", not someone not saying "no". Mr ddc | |||
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"This case aside as I don't know the story but a d*unk woman is not deemed fit to make a decision about sex(badly worded but I'm brain tired). A d*unk man can be accused of assault if he's not aware of it? How does a court decide how d*unk a person is and what they are capable of. It's a mine field of grey area. This is the only reason I feel slightly sorry for him... If we were to excuse non consensual rough sex because of being d*unk, should we then excuse d*unks who injure or kill people in fights or getting behind the wheel? Assault is assault whatever and wherever the situation.." I mean that it's unfair that had the d*unk been her not him, that she would have been deemed not able to consent. Being that I've been a victim of a serious assault myself for me to see unfairNess in the way he has been treated is quite a surprise even to me but reading the report I could seeinequalities which didn't sit well with me | |||
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"Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question I'd say making someone run to the bathroom in floods of tears, then convincing them to come out by promising not to hurt them again should count as "no" wouldn't it? But surely it matters not, I think we're meant to be teaching our young men that consent means someone saying "yes", not someone not saying "no". Mr ddc" Sadly I think the porn world is teaching too many young men that rough sex is the norm and that no means yes. I don't think that is the issue here but with the amount of violent porn freely available on the web I do fear for the standards young teenage boys are going to expect of their female counterparts. | |||
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"Again, forgive me for ignoring what's posted in the Daily Mail and resulting exaggeration; but I've re-read the definition of Actual Bodily Harm (which you can't consent to): Where the injuries are "serious". For example, where "significant medical intervention and/or permanent effects have resulted... [such as] where there is the need for a number of stitches (but not the superficial application of steri-strips) or a hospital procedure under anaesthetic" I think a bit of bum biting and scratches are allowed. Just don't hammer a nail through someone's cock (this I seem to recall was one of the "sexual" acts which prompted the original case) Disclaimer: this information is to help those who would like the facts. It's not intended to stop the others who like a good old made-up fact debate! " It's off topic (sort of), but I think the problem is with the existing definition of ABH, and also the Brown decision, is that many people on this site would not agree that you cannot consent to certain activities which result in ABH like injuries? | |||
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"This is what safewords are for. 'Stop' is confusing, as it's often just part of the theatre for some women. Something silly like 'pedalbin' or 'bubblegum' usually has a better effect! Xxxx" I know that *now* - this was a number of years ago... | |||
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"Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question I'd say making someone run to the bathroom in floods of tears, then convincing them to come out by promising not to hurt them again should count as "no" wouldn't it? But surely it matters not, I think we're meant to be teaching our young men that consent means someone saying "yes", not someone not saying "no". Mr ddc Sadly I think the porn world is teaching too many young men that rough sex is the norm and that no means yes. I don't think that is the issue here but with the amount of violent porn freely available on the web I do fear for the standards young teenage boys are going to expect of their female counterparts. " I admit I'm not a vast connoisseur of porn, but I'm pretty sure in most of them the woman tends to shout "yes" quite clearly. I still say she did not consent in this case, so his defence falls at the first hurdle. | |||
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"Forgive me If I missed this but at what point did she say no and did he continue? Its a genuine question I'd say making someone run to the bathroom in floods of tears, then convincing them to come out by promising not to hurt them again should count as "no" wouldn't it? But surely it matters not, I think we're meant to be teaching our young men that consent means someone saying "yes", not someone not saying "no". Mr ddc Sadly I think the porn world is teaching too many young men that rough sex is the norm and that no means yes. I don't think that is the issue here but with the amount of violent porn freely available on the web I do fear for the standards young teenage boys are going to expect of their female counterparts. I admit I'm not a vast connoisseur of porn, but I'm pretty sure in most of them the woman tends to shout "yes" quite clearly. I still say she did not consent in this case, so his defence falls at the first hurdle." I'm afraid the world has moved on about. I'm not so sure I'd recommend you find out for yourself but popularity seems to be dictated by how extreme it is. For instance throat fucking slapping double penetration I am not suggesting this as an excuse to him or anybody. However I am adamant that there will be a rise in instances of assault with young boys growing up accessing this material and perceiving it to be normal | |||
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"Having said that, I think I may have mis-read the thrust of your original post, which may be more about bdsm in general rather than the innocence or otherwise of this person. If so, apols, I'm multi-tasking!" No problems and yes I mean generally | |||
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" My concern is the safety of such a conviction. " whereas my concern would be for the safety of her!
and therefore lies the difference in attitudes...... | |||
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"Please excuse the source but come across been sent this link of a youngish guy convicted of assault for biting his lover during sex http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3137568/Marketing-student-24-bit-lover-bottom-thigh-rough-sex-turn-convicted-physical-assault.html I cant help but feel sorry for him somewhat. Punch someone in the street yes assault but in the bedroom where you are undergoing sexual activities?" I agree, getting the dude nicked wtf??? I had sex with a bird this week and my back is still completely scratched up full of marks yet which i didn't ask for yet you won't find me going to police because "im scared" lmao | |||
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"Again, forgive me for ignoring what's posted in the Daily Mail and resulting exaggeration; but I've re-read the definition of Actual Bodily Harm (which you can't consent to): Where the injuries are "serious". For example, where "significant medical intervention and/or permanent effects have resulted... [such as] where there is the need for a number of stitches (but not the superficial application of steri-strips) or a hospital procedure under anaesthetic" I think a bit of bum biting and scratches are allowed. Just don't hammer a nail through someone's cock (this I seem to recall was one of the "sexual" acts which prompted the original case) Disclaimer: this information is to help those who would like the facts. It's not intended to stop the others who like a good old made-up fact debate! "  | |||
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